“You don’t have to pretend with me.” (Kandomere x reader)
for @my-wickedone <3 (Sorry if this sucks, I feel like it’s rubbish haha)
Warnings: slight anxiety/sadness, basically a comfort fic
Lately, your days had been getting rougher. You couldn’t freak out about it, nor could you afford to give in to this negative mindset of yours. After all, you still needed to function, to be strong. Work demanded every last bit of your energy, not because it was generally harder than usual but because you felt like a phone battery that wasn’t able to recharge properly. When you came home in the evening you immediately showered and went to bed, just to wake up in the morning feeling as though you hadn’t got any rest at all.
Whenever you tried to find out why you felt like that, you came up with all sorts of possible explanations. Your family was troubling you, you weren’t satisfied with your job, your boyfriend Kandomere barely had time for you and you generally felt inadequate to keep on living the way you were right now. All you wanted was some sort of comfort, some sort of relief from the seemingly never-ending pain you felt inside.
The thing was, you didn’t want to trouble Kandomere, not with something that must seem so trivial to him. You knew he had to deal with some very tough cases at work at the moment. Not only meaning that he barely came home but also that when he did, he was usually tense and stressed out. That’s why you rarely talked – sometimes he came in the early morning hours, just before you got up, other nights he was so late that he didn’t dare wake you when you looked just as exhausted as he felt. The lack of communication was hard on you and you missed him.
It was just for a while, you told yourself, you could make it. But the truth you had to face was that you couldn’t. Tears started rolling down your cheeks, you couldn’t help it. You were currently lying in bed, waiting to finally fall asleep. The thoughts kept spiraling again, all fears and doubts creeping up on you just like every night.
“Darling, I’m home,” came a voice from the hall, startling you. You had been so caught up in your thoughts that you hadn’t heard Kandomere coming home. And you hadn’t anticipated him, not this early.
Quickly, you tried to calm down, wiped away your tears and tried to be as quiet as possible.
After a few minutes, Kandomere seemed to have noticed that you had already gone to bed. From that moment on you didn’t hear much. Your heart swelled up. He tried to be quiet, to let you get your sleep.
After a while you felt him crawl into bed next to you. Your back was to him, purposely, but he just wrapped an arm around your waist to get closer. In that moment you shivered a little, giving away everything you had tried to hide. Damnit.
“You’re awake,” Kandomere mumbled.
You hummed, but even then your voice was shaky.
“You’ve been crying,” he stated. Of course he knew, he always did. He was an elf.
Slowly, you turned around to face him, deciding that it would do you no good to push your luck by ignoring him. He wouldn’t let this slide.
“I’m just tired,” you mumbled. “Don’t worry.”
He ran his thumb along your still wet cheek, leaving a tingling pattern on your skin. “I do worry, (Y/N). I don’t want to come home to my love crying all alone.”
You knew it was pointless, but you tried anyway. “Really, I’m fine.”
“You don’t have to pretend with me, darling,” Kandomere replied, a serious expression on his face. In that moment you knew that he was reading you. Until now, you hadn’t really given him the chance to do so but now you were lying in front of him like an open book. Every word on your mind was there for him to read. And it wasn’t a very nice story. “How long have you been feeling like this?”
You sighed. “A few weeks, maybe. I can’t tell.”
The expression on his handsome face changed from worried to hurt, not a sight you wanted to get used to. “I’m sorry I didn’t pay enough attention to notice. I should have.”
Shaking your head, you leaned into his touch. Feeling his arms around you was enough to make everything at least a little bit better. “It’s okay, you were busy. We both were.”
“That’s no excuse,” he said matter-of-factly. “I promise I’m going to take some time off. We’re going to find out how to make you feel better, how to solve this. You’re not alone, you know that.”
“Good,” Kandomere said, pulling you closer into his embrace. His hair brushed your cheek and you let out a content sigh. “I love you, (Y/N).”
“I love you too, Kandomere,” you mumbled, the tears on your cheeks now dry. Suddenly you were glad about his elf instincts because they made it so easy for him to climb over any wall you tried to build around yourself. Maybe that was why you now felt silly for hiding how you felt, at least from him. You certainly wouldn’t do it ever again.
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