[my5kids]

Life

My son finished his first year, plus one summer term, of college with a 3.852. He’s studying neuroscience. This summer he took 3 courses, one being organic chemistry. His partner text him an hour before their group project was due and said she didn’t need an A in the class and didn’t finish her portion of the work. He’s freaking out thinking he will never get into Medical School now since he got a B- in that class. I’m just so impressed with him! I was really terrified when he left for college. It was a struggle getting him through high school and now I see that was all on me. I rode his ass too hard. He does great on his own.

My oldest daughter just finished her 2nd year of medical school and we basically never see or talk to her…unless she needs something. She is doing great though! Happily married and non-stop school. She came for 2 weeks in late may and it was amazing to have her here.

My second oldest daughter and her son came to visit for the summer. She just graduated with a criminal justice degree and is contemplating going back for more. I think she should be an attorney but I won’t tell her that because then she won’t want to. We are enjoying them visiting, but she also brought Covid and has been quarantined for the past 2 days. So it’s been a lot of entertaining my 4-year-old grand son.

My little girls are 14 and 9 now. Summer is in full swing and life couldn’t be better!

[my5kids]

My grand son is officially in the “fake smile” phase and I can’t get enough of it! Here he is living his best life on a lake in Northern Minnesota while he visits his dad. I miss him so much!!

[my5kids]

The excitement of sole custody quickly wore off. My daughter’s ex is refusing to sign the order her attorney drafted based on the judge’s decision. Now he sees how much she offered in mediation and thinks that was a better offer. (It was.) They have a new court date. I don’t understand how he can just refuse to sign what the judge ordered after an all day trial? The judge even said he didn’t want to see them again in his courtroom for a long time.

The specific things he did not like: the amount of child support the state recommended. The date child support was to be paid…he wants to pay it when he feels like it, not monthly on the 1st. And he wants my daughter to split his travel costs because he feels that anything below first class travel for himself (not when my daughter has the baby) is unsafe. Nothing in that speaks about my grandson. I hope the judge has a fit.

[my5kids]

My daughter was granted sole legal and physical custody. He gets 3 weeks in the summer, not consecutive. Now we can all (maybe) sleep tonight.

[my5kids]

Do you know what’s worse than going thru a custody battle yourself? Watching your child go thru one.

Nine hours of testimony yesterday, including my daughters ex putting on a show with his fake alligator tears and his mom falling out on the floor sobbing. They are in the wrong business. The guy sat on the stand and lied for 3 hours. I just don’t understand why after 3.75 years they suddenly want full custody of my grandson. The judge didn’t make a decision yesterday. He said he’ll have it by April 4. He didn’t remove my grandson from her though so that is good, right?

She isn’t on drugs. She works and goes to school and gets a 3.87 GPA. The other attorney said she is irresponsible for working and having him in a pre-k program. (Her job is across the street from his pre-k) It was insane. His attorney also said if he stays in the DC area he will end in the criminal Justice system due to crime rates. I don’t get how they could say that shit? They threw in her face that she moved too much as a child, as if it was her choice and she never had a stable home. It’s so frustrating.

If they get this baby they never wanted i don’t know what will happen. This is all to avoid him having to pay child support.

Family court is actually hell on earth.

[my5kids]

We moved into our own house this weekend! You can see a Washington State Ferry in the first picture and Mount Baker in the background of the other picture. Both taken from our front porch.

I love this place!

[my5kids]

Note to self… public school HR is not the job for you.

[my5kids]

I love these pics from my daughter’s wedding. Everything was just perfect 😍

[my5kids]

I had a whole life in New Jersey for an entire decade. That life included all of the people from my exes family. When I left New Jersey with my two little girls, I dumped all of them for almost 15 years.

I married my now husband and never wanted to mix my two lives up. I kept them very separate.

I recently (within the last 5 years or so) started speaking to all of them again, but it’s never really been the same. It’s hard to explain. I love all of them. But I don’t know them anymore.

In April my girls and I went back to NJ for my ex sister in laws 50th birthday. It was a whirlwind trip. Full of NJ vibes. My girls were both completely overwhelmed. I thought maybe I was right for leaving and keeping that world so separated from our world.

Then yesterday my ex sister in law’s sister was found dead in her house in Georgia. She was 51. (She moved to Georgia about 8 years ago)

This woman was in the delivery room when both of my girls were born. She was the first person I ever let babysit my oldest daughter. She was there right after my ex beat the shit out of me and kidnapped our kids for 5 days. She took care of me the whole time. I spent my last night in NJ hiding at her house because my ex didn’t know where she lived. She was a true ride or die. And now she’s dead and I can’t wrap my head around it.

And I’ve deliberately kept my lives so separated that my husband said “who’s Dawn?” when I told him she died.

I was wrong. I never should have ran from my life in New Jersey.

[my5kids]

We made it to Chicago and picked Anthony up on the corner of Rosemont and Kenmore. He looks so good! I was so worried about him and how he would adjust to college life but he really seems to be doing great! He has typical roommate issues but he also grew up with a bunch of sisters… so living with two other guys, in a doubles room that the school turned into a triple, is obviously going to have a learning curve.

Today we are going to get a tour of his school (at least of what he wants to show us and the gift shop so I can get a sweatshirt!). Then we will take him shopping for whatever he needs and maybe do some laundry!

We left our little girls at home with my parents. Erika drove down from Madison for the weekend. We miss the little ones but it’s pretty cool to hang out with just the adult kids!

[my5kids]

My husband and I are off to Chicago for the weekend to see our son. I can’t wait to get back there. I love where we live now, but my job might drive me insane. I started as the one and only HR at our local school district in June. It was great while everyone was on summer break but really the 2nd to last superintendent fucked up the relationship so badly with BOTH the classified and certificated staff that I’m not sure it won’t run the school into the ground. Then the superintendent when I started in June, lawyered up and bounced during start up week. He was also not a favorite. But…yikes.

All I’m really saying is I am looking forward to a few days off and seeing my boy!!!

[my5kids]

We moved back to my hometown in NW Washington!

My oldest daughter got married!

My son moved back to Chicago for college!

My girls started school here and I think we already need to put my 13 year old in the grade ahead because these kids are way behind where she was in Chicago. My 4th grader is doing great socially and getting zero help on her IEP. Kind of odd.

My dad got flown off the island today for internal bleeding. This is the 4th time since May. They still can’t find the bleed. We are on a rinse and repeat every month.

My 2nd daughter still won’t speak to my oldest daughter. That made for a lot of tears at her wedding.

Lots going on here!!!

[my5kids]

My son graduates tomorrow and we are in the middle of packing to move to Washington. I’m overloaded with things going on right now. I’m to the point of washing towels with regular clothes.

[my5kids]

My two oldest daughters are fighting. It got super ugly and one is very much the wrong one. It feels super shitty to see them both go through this. The wrong one was not raised like this. I actually think she’s either on drugs or has a major mental health condition. Unfortunately she has blocked me on everything. All this the week my son graduates from high school and we prepare for a cross country move.

[my5kids]

My husband handed in his credentials and keys today. Feels fantastic. On to the next adventure.

[my5kids]

Is the biggest gamble of all time co-signing my son’s student loans? Probably. He got about $46,000 in scholarships and grants, but he’s going to Loyola so there’s still $30,000 a year to come up with. I just signed my life away for a kid that can’t figure out how to load a dishwasher. (This is my “get out of the way so I can do it faster and correctly” fault) Really though, I think there is a distinct difference between him and my two older daughters.

[my5kids]

I’m at the dentist in the waiting room and I’m so overstimulated. The news is playing on a TV at top volume while music is playing over the speakers, at the same volume. My head is going to explode.