Dearest,

My heart is too good to those who don't deserve it.

[mydearestcatastrophe-blog]

The end just seems far more comfortable than living another day without you.

[mydearestcatastrophe-blog]

When did you stop loving me?

[csniezka]

[mydearestcatastrophe-blog]

2 AMs

There are scars on my knees from tonight when we saw each other. Scars on my elbows, too. There might even be an imprint of your hand around my neck as you held me back against you. Bite marks on my skin and an indescribable scent linger over me like a reminder of what I loved once dearly. This will all pass when dawn breaks but right now, in this moment, I am in nirvana.

[wnq-writers]

”Would you choose me all over again; would you keep choosing me?” He spoke softly into my ear. “No.” I tilted my head until my face was facing his. “Because sometimes love isn’t enough. Because sometimes being selfish is wrong. Because sometimes two people aren’t meant to be together. Because sometimes I think that despite this love we have for one another; we aren’t destined to be together just like the moon and the sun.” His hand caressed my face and with a few fingers he wiped my tears away. “Look up at the sky; I want us to be like the moon and the stars. I want you to shine bright every time we come together. Because sometimes I feel that you don’t want to fight for us; but I’ll fight enough for the both of us. Because sometimes I feel you becoming distant and I take that extra mile to get us back. Because no matter what we go through, I’ll be strong for the both of us.” He stared right into my eyes. “And even if I was the sun and you were the moon, we would be able to coexist. I would be happy knowing that one day we could meet up again even if just for a brief moment.” My heart sank into my stomach listening to the next few words. “What is it you want?” Frustration filled his voice. I paused for a moment before answering, “Not this.”

ponerporescrito, Excerpt from a Book I’ll never write. (via wordsnquotes)

[mydearestcatastrophe-blog]

A Thousand Deaths

I die everyday. A thousand deaths, A million tears, And a hundred more each day. I die everyday I'm not with you.

[wordsnquotes]

She was bored. She loved, had capacity to love, for love, to give and accept love. Only she tried twice and failed twice to find somebody not just strong enough to deserve it, earn it, match it, but even brave enough to accept it.

William Faulkner, The Town (via wordsnquotes)

[eccentri]

[wordsnquotes]

It does not matter what you think, because your mind will contradict itself a hundred times each day. Your mind will believe comforting lies while also knowing the painful truths that make those lies necessary. And your mind will punish you for believing both.

Patrick Ness, A Monster Calls  (via wordsnquotes)

[wnq-anonymous]

Sensitive suffer more, but they love more and dream more.

Augusto Cury (via wnq-anonymous)

[mydearestcatastrophe-blog]

October 5, 2015

The sky cried out for you today. Did you hear it? The ground flooded with my mistakes And it trembled in fear Because each day that passes Is another day I lose with you. My words are simple And they are selfish: I choose to love you because it is all I knew. The sky cried out for you today. Did you hear it? Did you hear me?

[mydearestcatastrophe-blog]

Determination of the Will

"Man's life is a line that nature commands him to describe upon the surface of the earth, without his ever being able to swerve from it, even for an instant." Baron Holbach; The Systems of Nature

[grunge-ga]

grunge blog

[mydearestcatastrophe-blog]

Just love.

[mydearestcatastrophe-blog]

September 20, 2014

DEAREST,

I woke up and thought of you today. Actually, I wake up everyday and think about you. You never seem to leave my mind. I’m always wondering what you’re doing, how you’re feeling, whether you woke up and felt a little brighter today. I want to know these things. I want to have the blessing to ask these things. I want to be a part of your life. But this can never happen.

Why do you always push me away? Why do you always cut me out of your life when I’m the one person who would’ve given up my own for yours? Why can’t you accept the fact that I will never stop caring and worrying about you? All I’ve ever wanted was to be your friend. I hoped and wished for something more but as time passed, I learned to accept the realization that you will never be mine. I wanted to take care of you. I wanted to kiss you anytime I wanted and hold your hand whenever I wanted. I wanted to just be next to you and feel your warm tight hugs. I wanted to be the one. Why won’t you let me in your life?

There are moments where I just want to grab that handsome face, shake you like crazy and beg you to open your eyes. And your heart. Please let me fix you. Please let me heal the pain, the hurt, the confusion, and the loss of trust. Please let me give you strength and peace and acceptance in yourself. Please let me tell you how amazing you are, how capable and confident and powerful you are. Please let me fix you. Please let me hold you up when you feel the world crashing down on you. Please let me heal the scars and kiss each and every single one. Please let me tell you how much I would give to see you smile again. Please let me love you.

I think the hardest thing in life has always been knowing you’re out there but you choose not to see me or talk to me. For a decade, I’ve lived under solace knowing you’re somewhere out there breathing and safe and under the same moon and stars. For a decade, I waited and hoped and wished you would want me back; love me back. For a decade, I prayed for your happiness. And having you back in my life for that last week, talking to you everyday and knowing what you were doing brought a sense of calmness within my soul.

And now you’re gone.

And i’m sitting here wanting you again. I’m writing a letter to you again. I’m begging you to love me again.

In silence.

For a decade, I’ve loved you in silence.

The sad part is, I still love you.

I will always love you.

Forever.

[mydearestcatastrophe-blog]

September 29, 2014

LIGHT YEARS AWAY.

I missed you today. Actually, I miss you right now. I miss you everyday.

You somehow never fail to sneak your pretty little self into my mind when I least expect it.

It's always a surprise. Sort of like a bolt of lightning straight into my heart -

the sudden crash of the realization that today is another day I lose you almost knocks me down but it doesn't.

I didn't fall and break today.

I didn't cry.

I didn't say your name under my breath wishing you were here.

I'll deny it if you ask.

I didn't smile nor sleep.

Nor did I stare at a picture of you.

No, I didn't.

I didn't do anything today that would purposely make me miss you.

I just do.

Like yesterday,

And the day before and the day before.

Just like everyday...

I, just, missed you.

[mydearestcatastrophe-blog]

September 10, 2014

SILENCE.

I loved you yesterday. I loved you today. I'll love you tomorrow. I loved you in the arms of another. I loved you in tears. I loved you in confusion. I loved you in light. And I embraced you in the darkness. But mostly, I loved you in the silence. The understanding that burning stars Can never tear my eyes Away from your glance. I sat in the dark Wishing this was a reality; Your arms held me like the sky And my heart beat Sang along with yours I cried out for you In that moment, I begged for you. I loved you in the silence. I loved you through the waves. I loved you in clarity. I'll love you until I do. I loved you in the arms of another. I loved you with scars. I loved you with hope. And I ached everyday. In your hesitation, Unconditionally, I loved you still. But mostly, in your imperfect perfection, I knew in the depths of a broken heart that I will love you Today, Tomorrow, Forever And Always. I will love you in silence.