my heart is too heavy to carry

[myheartistooheavytocarry]

for those with emotions too cosmic for this world

with this pain i give you art a beautiful manifestation of human existence at the expense of my own demise hold it closely my hope is to inspire you to accept all the emotions that you experience

[myheartistooheavytocarry]

Let’s just assume I’m always heartbroken. This understanding will benefit everyone involved. Thanks.

Sincerely, an empath

[myheartistooheavytocarry]

every time you talk to me, i feel warm. i want to know all the things you’re feeling in a moment. the things that make you sad or angry or excited. i love to see you excited about things that are important to you. and i want to always be there for things that are hard to talk about. i want to hold all your feelings and help you through them. i want to be someone you can call for anything. i want to know about random things that happen during your day. i want to see your happy. i want to see your sad. i want to see your angry. i want to see because i want you to know despite everything you deserve love and understanding. thats who i want to be for you.

[myheartistooheavytocarry]

yes, i have borderline personality disorder. i am the most depressed person you have ever met while simultaneously being the most high spirited person you have ever met. you’re never going to meet someone as lovable and loyal.

[myheartistooheavytocarry]

Love the way you write.

thank you angel. much love to you ♡

[myheartistooheavytocarry]

"I miss you"

"No, you miss the power dynamic. You miss the fact that I would give everything I had for you and you never had to give anything in return. You knew how deeply I felt, yet you still kept taking from me. I was a depressed, lonely, and broken person. But I’m not so broken anymore. I don’t love you anymore. I don’t want you anymore."

[myheartistooheavytocarry]

I tell everyone I have healed while I have not slept from suffering a major depressive episode the night before. I carry myself with pure love to share and joy to spread meanwhile I don't really feel like living past today. Where does this sunshine and energy come from if deep down I feel meaningless.

[myheartistooheavytocarry]

When you've built a relationship so intimate that your souls have bonded and you feel the other person even when they are a distance away and suddenly you have to let that go. How do you move on from someone when you have sewed your soul to theirs, when you call out for them in your dreams, when you know the days you have a heavy heart are the days they are struggling, when your skin has memorized their fingerprints.

[myheartistooheavytocarry]

No your Virgo is not okay. Stop asking. We are always busy putting everyone and everything before our own emotional well being. Even when you think you are consoling us, we are just accepting this as it will likely make you feel better.

[myheartistooheavytocarry]

Brain: Happy? What? No, do that thing where we dissociate from ourselves and fall into a hole of depression for no reason other than to destroy ourself

[myheartistooheavytocarry]

I don’t know if I’m okay I want to get so drunk to numb myself I want to eat until I hate myself I want to just feel everything outside myself So I don’t have the chance to sit with myself And I think it’s the exploring of myself The good parts of myself Despite all of the pain others have caused How do I be a person How do I be a self Why do I want to be a self The self that went through all that I don’t want her I want to be someone else Far away from the body that endured that But here I am Living every moment with her Sharing every feeling I come home to my bed And I hate to be with myself

[myheartistooheavytocarry]

There are worse things. There are more painful things. But at the moment, all the pain lives here.

[myheartistooheavytocarry]

sometimes it hurts…

To think of how much you meant to me at a point of my life and so suddenly I had to learn to erase all of that and live without it. It’s such a sad thing to give up a piece of happiness. But I did. In the empty space, I planted seeds of hope and a garden bloomed in it’s place. I’m covering a scar, but it looks very beautiful from up here. Where blood once shed, I see roses. I learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about what I can offer. I guess it showed me how valuable I can be. Valuable and fragile. To have something so pure is to hold everything and nothing at the same time. When you let go it shatters leaving nothing behind. I’ll have to be more careful now. Knowing that I can shatter has made me more cautious. I’m illuminating yet brittle. I’m fulfilling yet empty. I’m enough yet never desired. I’m here but no where.

[myheartistooheavytocarry]

It’s in those morning hours where I am in between conciousness and uncounsciousness that all of my worst fears come to mind and paralyze me. I’m stuck with scenarios running through my mind of how it would feel to be so close to what would be the death of me. Most of the time, it’s you.

[myheartistooheavytocarry]

does the sadness balloon in your chest to the point where it’s ready to burst at any moment?

[myheartistooheavytocarry]

How can you not see all the love in my eyes when I look at you.

[myheartistooheavytocarry]

I know you love me because you make me food when I’m so drunk I know you love me because you hype me up when I’m so self conscious I know you love me because you never let me feel bad when I drink too much or get too high I know you love me because you introduce me to your friends I know you love me because you invite me everywhere I know you love me because you make me spend the night when I say “I’m fine, I can drive” I know you love me because you can just sit in a room with me and we don’t need to talk I know you love me because you respond to all my random texts I know you love me because you let me break down and cry I am so lucky to be loved by you