#bpd episode

[ancient-moongoddess]

I just lost my appetite...

I'm on the verge of stabbing myself...

I can't keep doing this...

[ancient-moongoddess]

God I'ma just break at this point...

What am I doing wrong??

I know I'm stupidly old but fuck-

I'm trying!

I even will dumb myself down so my partner is happy and I give up everything for them and I literally act like a pup waiting for them all day till they talk to me-

WHY CANT I JUST HAVE A CHANCE??!!

[ancient-moongoddess]

"Why don't you stay... Why did you leave? I don't know...what I'm doing wrong-"

She yelps a bit as she held her head. Tears falling as she tugs on her hair-

"...What did I do this time....??"

[ancient-moongoddess]

Ah- I ate once today. Which is good. I'm trying to lose weight...

My skin rubbed so much today it cut itself from the chaffing...

I need to be thin... I don't wanna be this plus size thing anymore...

I'm just a piggy...

God I wanna yank my hair out..

[ancient-moongoddess]

If I turn this into a more sexual blog... Maybe I'll find a sugar daddy or something..or someone that wants me maybe? I don't know what else to do at this point... No one wants me. I'm not attractive enough... I'm very plain and I'm too stressed to keep anyone happy...God I'm to the point of just selling my body maybe I'll get attention and I'll get paid for it-? But who would even want that from me...

[ancient-moongoddess]

I have to remind myself I can't get attached.

It'll only be easier when my disappointments happen... And I ruin everything like I usually do..

I've been told I'm pathetic to a slut to useless to too much... I'm every little bad thing ever and if I touch anyone I just ruin it all...that's all I do...

[ancient-moongoddess]

It does suck having only one friend... To know you'll figure it all out on your own. To try and live life but at the end of the day I know it'll only ever be just me.

[ancient-moongoddess]

I hate having an episode and being too much. I hate feeling. I hate this feeling...