there’s been a fuck ton of aapi hate since the beginning of the pandemic and especially lately, with the georgia shootings today, and even the grammys last sunday
all this said i just wanted to share a few resources (none mine!):
- anti-asian violence resources (this resource is also linked in my pinned, it contains information, petitions, places to donate and a lot more)
- stop asian hate (contains petitions, places to donate, ways to spread the word and more)
- sites to donate to and share (if you have a twitter please consider retweeting)
- a cumulative twitter thread with a little bit of everything and more than i explained
+ stop asian hate gofundme
+ asian american resource center (an atlanta based foundation focused on housing and civil classes)
+ red canary song *
+ butterfly *
+ swan vancouver *
* above are three grassroots (not sure if im using that word right) dedicated to advocating for asian and migrant sex work! check them out and donate if possible
—
if you have any resources you wanna share reply and/or reblog and i’ll add it, and with that please share this with the same tags <3 sending love to my fellow aapi, please stay safe all of you and don’t be fucking racist :]
not seeing a lot of people on here talking about ICE murdering another man yesterday. His name was Lorenzo Salgado Arajou. He was a Mexican man living in Houston Texas. He was killed at age 52 and lived the past 35 years here in the USA, and was in the process of obtaining a work permit. He was shot and killed during a traffic stop that ICE claims was part of a targeted operation, and claimed he was “weaponizing his vehicle”- the same claim ICE agents made when they shot and murdered Renee Good.
During the stop, Lorenzo had 3 coworkers with him in his truck who have all been taken into ICE custody.
His family described Lorenzo as a hardworking family man who didn’t deserve to be killed. All he wanted was to provide for his wife and see his sons become great people. His eldest son recognized his father by his cries and pleas when trying to identify who the victim was.
The Salgado Araujo family has set up a gofundme to help with funeral and legal costs, and to help keep their family supported since Lorenzo was the sole provider.
On the morning of July 7, 2026, Lorenzo Salgado Araujo was ta… LULAC Institute, Inc. needs your support for In Loving Memory of Lorenzo Salg
From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank everyone for the love wrong locker got 🫶🏻 it was an original idea and it means the world so many of you loved it. So as promised, here is your Christmas present. A very happy ending and I hope you guys all love it and it was worth the wait.
Robin hasn't spoken to Y/N since she returned her jacket. Which was weeks ago. She knew she shouldn't care and that she shouldn't be disappointed, but she did.
She went from wondering if Vickie was the wrong choice to knowing she was. Turns out, Vickie and Robin only had band and were into girls in common. Their conversations were boring and died out within seconds. The relationship was nothing like Robin wanted or thought it would be like. She always compared everything to how it was with Y/N. And nothing matched it.
~~~
"Are you sure you're happy in your relationship?" Steve asked, he clicked on the computer as Robin sat on the counter next to him. She ignored as customers walked by.
"I think it's time I admit that I'm miserable." Robin answered, "Vickie and I have nothing in common. We barely go on dates because it's so awkward. We only hang out during school. It's just nothing like..." Robin trailed off when she realized what she was about to admit.
"Y/N?" Steve answered for her. He could see it. There was a different look in Robin's eyes when Y/N was in her life. Steve noticed it was gone once they broke it off.
"I think you fell for Y/N over those dates and calls. And that's okay, Robin. It's okay to fall for someone different. You had this picture painted of what you thought Vickie would be like. You had this vision and the vision was better than the reality. Y/N was the opposite. You never painted a picture with her and you never had expectations of her. You fell for her because you weren't trying to. That's when it's most real."
Robin couldn't help but let Steve's words sink in.
"You're right. Now what the hell do I do?"
"Break up with Vickie. And the rest..that's all up to you."
~~~
Robin held her breath as she walked into the small bar, the bar Y/N brought her for their first date....now that Robin can admit it was.
She scanned the bar, her eyes looking for someone in particular. She heard the clinks of the pool balls, she turned her head and there she was. Y/N had her arms wrapped around a girl. She was shorter than Y/N, she had brown hair and blue eyes. Robin couldn't help but feel like she was watching a flashback. But she wasn't. She was front-row seat as she watched Y/N move on.
Robin wanted to ignore the painful feeling in her stomach. And the feeling that she was going to throw up her lunch. She felt jealousy wash over her bare arms, and goosebumps formed as she shivered. Robin almost felt stupid for showing up, for thinking that there was a possibility Y/N would be torn apart the way Robin felt. She dashed towards the bar when she saw Y/N look over, she clenched her eyes shut as she prayed she wasn't seen.
Of course, Robin didn't have that luck. Y/N and the girl walked over to the bar, hand in hand. Robin swallowed the lump in her throat as the girl ordered a drink. Her voice sounded squeaky and it rang in Robin's ears.
Robin heard them talk then the girl walked off in the direction of the bathroom. Robin tried to hype herself up, she came here to see Y/N and this was her chance.
Just say hi, be nice and maybe she'll be nice back
"Pool trick your move with all the girls?"
Robin gasped at her own words, her hand slammed over her mouth as she clenched her eyes in embarrassment. She thought it but she didn't mean to say it. So much for hoping Y/N would be nice.
"Just the ones I wanna take home. What's it to you?" Y/N said, her tone was annoyed and rough. Robin wanted to shrink in her seat as Y/N didn't even turn her head to talk to her. She stared after the bathroom as she slammed a shot.
Robin felt her stomach turn at the thought of Y/N taking home a random girl. Not that she had the place to be upset about it. She single-handedly ruined whatever relationship that could have been.
"Where's Vickie?" Y/N couldn't help but ask. Y/N used to never have any hard feelings towards the redhead but now she couldn't help but hate her. Envy her. She never felt insecure within herself, but now all she wanted to do was be Vickie.
"I broke up with her," Robin said with a shrug, she kept her eyes on Y/N, wishing in her head that she'd turn to look back at her.
"Why would you do that?" This time she finally turned to look at Robin.
"I realized I was only happy with the idea of her. We didn't have anything in common, and we didn't click. I didn't feel....didn't feel the way I felt with you." Robin admitted, her eyes soft and genuine as she looked into Y/N's. She could see the conflict flicking through Y/N's eyes, the words taking effect on her as her mouth pouted.
"Do you know how much of an idiot I look like? I let my guard down because I liked you, and you took advantage of that. The only two things you felt with me were the anxiety of telling me the truth and the excitement of making her jealous, so screw you. You wanted her and you got her, that's where our time in the sun was done. I don't want anything to do with you." Y/N spat, not waiting for her girl to come out of the restroom as she marched right out the door.
~~~
Robin left Y/N alone after that night. It killed her and it hurt, but she didn't want Y/N to hate her even more. She felt guilty that Y/N knew about how excited she felt making Vickie jealous. Robin wished she thought everything through. She should have come clean right away, and maybe she could have still agreed to the date. She shouldn't have been stuck on Vickie and ignored all the possibilities around her.
Even though they didn't talk, Robin always looked for Y/N in the halls. Sometimes she felt a small shimmer of hope when Y/N stared back, for a few solid seconds before she shook her head and looked away. Robin hoped that there was a small part of Y/N that kept those feelings she felt for Robin months ago.
Robin entered a new level of hell when Y/N began to date a cheerleader. They were the perfect couple. Y/N was the captain of the volleyball team and her perfect, rich, pink, and giggly girlfriend, Blane, was on the cheerleading team. This meant Robin had to watch Blane cheer for Y/N, run to her after the game, and smash her perfect pink lips right on Y/N. It made Robin sick. It made her want to cry, vomit, and commit murder all at the same time. But also made Robin realize Y/N was long gone. She already did the upgrade, from band geek girlfriend to cheerleader girlfriend. There wasn't a chance in this hell that Y/N would run back to the band geek.
~~~
It was Y/N's birthday, and Blane invited everyone to celebrate weeks ago. Robin was surprised when she got the invite. She was surprised to hear Blane's voice on the other end inviting her directly. Robin figured it was a surprise party as Y/N didn't say a word about it when they passed in the halls.
But Robin wasn't going to waste the opportunity she had to see Y/N again. Robin spent the whole week perfecting Y/N's gift. She knew she had a lot of apologizing and work to do, and she hoped this showed how much of an effort she truly planned to make. But the gift also could cause issues with Blane, and honestly? Robin was ready to knock the bitch down a peg or two.
Robin even cracked and begged Nancy for help. Robin needed to dress to impress, and Nancy was the girl with all the confidence.....and clothes. Nancy knew who Robin was and stayed close to her wild style. A simple black dress that Robin covered with a dark jean jacket and sneakers. Nancy added a tiny bit of makeup to Robin's eyes, and a nice pink gloss to her lips.
Robin held her present in a tight grip as she walked into the party. Even though Robin rushed to get ready, she still arrived late. Half the party was already drunk and wobbling around. Robin set down her gift on a table that seemed to be the gift table.
She walked around, hoping to catch sight of Y/N. But she did find Blane at the drink table. Robin walked over, grabbed a drink, and took a deep breath.
"Thanks for inviting me!" Robin said a fake smile on her face.
"Of course! I honestly don't know half the people here. I called everyone that Y/N had their number written down and saved. Figured that's where the important people are. So hey! If you're here, you must be a great friend." Blane slurred, her hand patting Robin on the shoulder.
Robin was barely a friend, and she didn't want to be a friend. But she wasn't going to admit that to Y/N's girlfriend.
"So, how did you and Y/N get together?" The curiosity has been killing Robin. But the answer might finish her off.
"Hooked up at a party, nothing very romantic. We haven't been together long, feels more like a good fuck, you know? She's so confident and rough. I was too insecure about competition, and I knew no one go for her because they were too scared. So I figured hey! Who's gonna take her from me? No one. I can get great orgasms, sleep off with other people, and not have to worry about her attention leaving me." Blane shrugged, her drunk words filled Robin with more rage than she ever felt.
"That's a bit bitchy don't you think? The girl has feelings." Robin argued.
"Y/N? Feelings? No, that girl likes sex and that's all. I don't think she's capable of having feelings." Blane scoffed.
"Maybe not for you," Robin said under her breath, but not quite enough.
"Excuse me? If she would have feelings for someone, it would be me. Look at me." Blane said, and Robin couldn't help but look. Blane was easily gorgeous and it was easy to fall in love with her based on looks. Her personality immediately killed it.
"Open relationship then?" Robin asked, trying to change the subject of how perfect Blane was. Robin felt even more insecure as she tugged on her dress.
"Oh no. Y/N is way too loyal for that, even if it's just sex. But me? What she doesn't know what hurt her." Blane said, Robin, couldn't believe how she said these things without a moment of guilt.
"You're unbelievable. Y/N deserves better." Robin scoffed, she grabbed her drink and prepared to leave.
"Wait a second," Blane said, she grabbed Robin's arm and turned her around. Blane studied her face, her face sobering up a tad. "I knew you looked familiar. You're the girl in the frame! In Y/N's room! The girl wearing the jacket at the arcade."
Robin couldn't help but smile at the fact that Y/N kept a framed picture of her. Her cheeks flamed red and her heart raced.
"Now it all makes sense." Blane laughed, "You want her back, don't you? Seeking out the girlfriend to get the details you needed before you made the move." Blane said, shoving Robin.
"Hey! I didn't seek out details, you were saying it all on your own." Robin defended herself. "I do want her back. And it seems like you barely care about her so why don't we just call a truce? You can get great sex somewhere else, and Y/N can be with someone who cares about her." Robin thought her words were nice. But apparently, Blane thought differently. Robin felt a sticky liquid poured over her head.
A crowd formed around them as everyone gasped. Robin bit her lip as she wiped the liquid out of her eyes.
"Pathetic. Do you think she'll run back to you? You're nothing. You sit on the sidelines in everyone's life, including hers. Go back to the bench where you belong." Blane said, she turned around and her ponytail flipped in Robin's face.
Robin couldn't help herself. She was filled with rage and insecurity. She already knew getting Y/N back was a lost chance. She knew she was a side character in everyone's life, but to hear it said to her face by the bitch of high school. She wasn't taking it. And in a way, Robin wanted to fight for Y/N, what's better than taking down their girlfriend?
Robin grabbed her ponytail and yanked her backward. Blane let out a high-pitched scream as she tried to get Robin's grip off of her. Robin let go but tackled Blane to the ground.
"FIGHT! IT'S A GIRL FIGHT!" some drunk asshole screamed. He was filled with way too much excitement.
Robin and Blane rolled around on the floor, barely hitting each other but still fighting to be on top.
"OFF!" Robin heard someone scream and arms wrapped around her waist. She felt herself being easily lifted into the air. Robin trashed as the person began to bring her outside.
"LET ME GO. I SWEAR I'LL CALL THE COPS!" she threatened.....or Steve.
"That would backfire on you, sweetheart," Y/N said as she let Robin go. Robin stood on her feet and turned around to see Y/N there with a pissed-off expression. Robin clenched her thighs as she took her in. She wore tight blue jeans, a white tank top with layered necklaces, the bottom one resting perfectly on her chest, and a black belt with chains looped through.
"What the fuck is your problem?" Y/N snapped Robin out of her thoughts.
"You didn't hear what she said about you?" Robin argued, her hands gesturing to the house, where Blane probably sat crying.
"Why would you care?" Y/N asked, her arms crossed as she tried to conceal her anger.
"DO YOU PAY ATTENTION TO ANYTHING?" Robin screamed, she felt like she was constantly telling Y/N how she felt, and Y/N just ignored it.
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AT ALL! WE TALKED AND DECLARED IT WAS OVER. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT?" Y/N screamed back. She wanted to tug her hair out. She couldn't stand the sad puppy eyes Robin gave her. She hated feeling pittied and she hated Robin felt so guilty that she wanted to make it up to her. Y/N wasn't supposed to be hurt.
"I WANT YOU! ISN'T THAT CLEAR?" Robin screamed as she stomped her foot in the grass. "I DIDN'T GO TO THE BAR THAT NIGHT JUST TO ADMIT MY MISTAKE!! IT WAS TO ADMIT TO YOU THAT I CAN'T GET YOU OUT OF MY HEAD...."Robin took a deep breath, "it was to admit that I love you and I want a chance to be with you again. This time with no fear, no anxiety, and no afraid to feel things for you. Because it's not a bad thing. Getting to be with you, was beautiful and it was joyful. You were happy, and you can't tell me you weren't."
"Robin," Y/N sighed as she ran her hands over her face. "It wasn't even real. I was happy because I thought it was something real. I thought I could be loved, don't you get that? How can I just believe you now? What if you don't even love me, you just loved the feeling of being with me."
Robin didn't know Y/N felt so much insecurity. And she felt even worse for playing with her emotions.
Robin walked over to her, not wasting a second before she smashed her lips on Y/N's. Robin felt a zoo of butterflies fluttering around in her stomach as Y/N kissed her back. Robin's hands wrapped around Y/N's shoulders, and Robin shivered as Y/N's hands wrapped around her waist. She gripped Robin's dress and kissed her deeper. Robin melted under her control, submitting herself to be under her power. Y/N's warm tongue touched Robin's as they kissed. Y/N tasted like beer and gum, somehow a taste Robin needed more and more of.
They pulled back when they needed air, but Robin kept her hands on Y/N, hoping it would keep the girl in place.
"I love you, and I love the feeling I feel with you. I love both, and I can't love one without the other. Vickie was a mistake, and I'm sorry I had to learn that while hurting you. I know I want you and I know I want us. Please let me show you that?" Robin begged, her forehead pressed against Y/N's as she closed her eyes. In case she said no, at least Robin could soak in the last few moments.
It was silent and Robin grew more nervous. She cracked open one eye to see Y/N staring at her with a smile.
"Can I admit I love you with both your eyes open?" Y/N giggled, and Robin never thought she'd hear that.
Robin opened her eyes immediately, a dopey smile on her face as she watched Y/N's mouth move.
"I love you and I'll give you the chance. Just don't make me regret it!" Y/N threatened, a finger pointed right at Robin but a teasing smile covered Y/N's face.
"Deal," Robin said, pressing her lips against Y/N's again.
"Kicked her ass." Y/N laughed against Robin's lips, not caring how sticky Robin's whole face was.
"She deserved it." Robin shrugged, happily attaching their lips again.
~~~
A box of a tiny locker rested in the gift box on the table, with love notes all written to Y/N. All in the right locker.
An idea that popped in my head before bed. I hope you guys enjoy it! Been a bit since I've written my own Robin idea so I hope it's worth the read 🫶🏻🩷
Robin writes a love note for Vickie but accidentally puts it in Readers locker
Wrong locker
Robin has been trying to figure out the best way to confess her feelings to Vickie. Robin figured since she couldn't even speak a word to the pretty redhead in general, writing down her feelings would be best. But Robin didn't want to sound like a crazy stalker so she settled for a simple love note.
Robin took a deep breath as she walked to Vickie's locker, she slipped the pink paper in the small cracks. She held her breath as the note dropped in. The sound of the bell had her racing to the other side of the hallway. She tried to look busy but kept her eye on the locker.
She smiled as Vickie walked up, but her stomach dropped when she noticed Vickie was opening the locker next to the one with the note. Robin panicked, whose locker was the note in?
Fear filled Robin's bones as Y/N walked up. The girl's atmosphere was terrifying. Her leather jacket smelled of cigarettes and perfume. Her healed black boots echoed down the halls. Her tight jeans framed her body along with her tight band T-shirt. She was intimating, and she liked to be. Her sharp eyes glared at anyone who looked at her. A snarl on her lips if anyone bothered to talk near her.
Robin felt like she wanted to die when Y/N opened her locker, the pink note falling to Y/N's feet. Robin prayed she wouldn't pick it up, maybe stomp on it and move on.
But no, Y/N picked up the note. Robin was stuck in her spot, she needed to run but she couldn't move.
Y/N tried to keep the smile off her face. No one has seen her smile and that wasn't going to change. But she couldn't help but feel her heart flutter at the sweet note. She knew she was intimidating and scared people off. But she's never had someone see her in such a romantic way.
She knew of Robin Buckley, the cute bandgirl. Y/N played on the volleyball team and the band always played at their games. Was Robin watching her the whole time?
Y/N put the note in her pocket, closing her locker. She turned around to walk to class when she spotted Robin staring. Once they made eye contact, Robin looked down at her shoes.
Please don't walk up to me
Please please please
"Hey Buckley," Y/N's voice ran shivers up Robin's spine. She gulped and looked up. Y/N stood in front of her, her confident frame stood tall.
"I'm sorry! The note was-" Robin went to explain what happened but Y/N cut her off.
"The note was very sweet. Thank you, it made my day. I'll call you." Y/N said, a smirk on her face as she took in Robin's nervous frame.
Robin didn't dare to breath until Y/N strutted off.
~~~
"And turns out it was the wrong locker!" Robin explained, her voice wavering between pitches. Her nervous hands were shaking as she told the story to Steve.
Steve nodded along with his arms crossed. Robin tended to talk throughout their shifts and not do any work. So Steve picked up the slack. But the place was dead so gossip time took full attention.
"Whose did it end up in?" Steve asked, he uncrossed his arms as he reached to grab his drink.
"Y/N."
Steve's eyes went wide and his water flew out of his mouth. Steve was a grade above Y/N throughout high school, and even he was terrified of her. He prayed he'd never run into her after graduation. Her sneer and hard eyes kept him up at night. He still has nightmares about the day he ran into her, his hot coffee staining her shirt. Steve could almost feel the bruises on his cheek forming again.
"You're fucked!" Steve said.
"Dingus! Don't you think I know that? She said she was going to call me! What the hell do I do?" Robin panicked.
"Maybe she won't call you! Let's not stress about anything yet." Steve said
~~~
Robin sighed in relief when she crawled into bed, not a single phone call from Y/N. Maybe Y/N just wanted to make Robin nervous and never planned to do anything about the note.
Ring
Ring
Ring
Robin gulped as she picked up the phone, she hoped more than anything that Steve was calling about his lame date.
"Sorry, gorgeous. Volleyball went very late." Y/N's voice traveled through the phone, and it still made Robin nervous.
"It's okay." Robin gulped, her fingers playing with the telephone cord.
"I know this place downtown, maybe Friday night after the game, we can go?"
Robin tried to say no, all she had to do was explain the mix-up. But she was scared of Y/N's reaction. One date couldn't hurt, maybe Y/N would realize how boring Robin was and wouldn't be interested.
~~~
Robin packed up her instrument, talking with Vickie about the game. Robin tried her best to keep the conversation going.
"Ready gorgeous?" Y/N asked. Robin couldn't help but blush at the nickname being said to her face. Y/N was sweaty and panting from the game, and Robin couldn't help but find it hot.
"Yeah just gotta pack up." Robin rushed out, her eyes meeting Y/N's for one quick second.
"Okay. I'm going to change then I'll meet you in the parking lot?" Y/N suggested. Robin nodded and felt the air return to her lungs when she walked away.
"What's going on?" Vickie asked, she didn't bother to hide how shocked she was.
"She kinda asked me out." Robin shrugged.
"Oh, cool," Vickie said, but Robin couldn't help but notice how displeased Vickie looked about the news. Was she jealous?
~~~
Robin tried not to stare at Y/N as they walked into the bar, but Y/N looked hot in her tight black jeans, tank top, and signature leather jacket. Robin tried to ignore how sweaty her palms were.
Robin was confused about why they'd go to a bar when they weren't of age, but Y/N knew the bartender it seemed. Y/N walked to the back booth, near a pool table.
Y/N had a beer and Robin had an iced tea. Y/N made good conversation and Robin was surprised by the things they had in common. Robin found herself enjoying Y/N's presence.
A few hours passed and Robin swung her feet as Y/N played pool. Robin didn't know how to play and she did not want to look like an idiot in front of Y/N.
"Come here and just try!" Y/N encouraged, she's been trying to get Robin to play for the last hour. But Robin kept shaking her head.
Y/N gave up on convincing Robin, instead, she'd make Robin do it.
Robin gulped as Y/N grabbed her hand and lifted her off the stool.
"No, I'm not any good!" Robin tried but Y/N shushed her. Y/N placed the stick in Robin's hand, stood behind her, and corrected her form. Robin couldn't help but feel slightly turned on as Y/N's body was pressed against her back. The feeling of Y/N's breath against her ear, and Y/N's arms wrapped around her, made Robin feel fuzzy.
Robin took a deep breath, letting Y/N guide her to hit the small white ball. Robin watched as the stick hit the ball, it rolled and rolled until it smacked into a red ball, disappearing into the corner.
"You did it!" Y/N cheered, Robin couldn't help but get lost in her dazzling smile. At that moment Y/N didn't seem so scary and intimidating. She looked beautiful and happy.
~~~
A few weeks passed and Robin cursed herself for leading Y/N on. Robin couldn't help but be swept up in all the dates and how special Y/N made her feel. It made Robin wonder why she never looked at Y/N in the first place.
But Robin was tugged between Vickie as well. The girl the note was made for. It seemed Vickie was jealous of all the dates between Robin and Y/N. Robin remembered the hard look in Vickie's eyes when she showed up in Y/N's jacket.
"Are you cold?" Y/N asked, her hand laced with Robin's as they walked through the carnival. Robin wore a thin long sleeve, not expecting the wind to be chilly.
"No, I'm fine!" Robin argued, but the shivering of her teeth and tight shoulders gave her up.
Y/N smiled and took off her jacket, placing the warm leather over Robin's shoulders. Immediately lacing their hands together again.
A jacket Robin still hasn't given back. She wore it every day to school. To make Vickie jealous? Or to have pride she got Y/N to go soft? She wasn't sure.
She felt torn between both girls.
~~~
"Do you like her?" Steve asked, he felt bad for the situation Robin got herself in.
"I think so? But I don't know if I like her because she makes Vickie jealous." Robin explained. She was stuck in her personal hell.
"Well if Vickie's jealous, it means she has feelings for you. So you have your answer. Vickie is interested and single. Do you want to go after her? Or stay with Y/N?"
"I think I want Vickie. I mean the note was meant for her but I'm afraid if Y/N finds out the note was for Vickie, she'll snap me in half " Or maybe she was worried it would snap Y/N in half.
~~~
Robin sat across Y/N as she sipped on a milkshake. Robin's stomach hurt too much to enjoy the sweetness.
"Are you okay? You look like you might be sick." Y/N said, her milkshake pushed to the side as she reached across for Robin's hand. Robin gulped as Y/N's soft thumb rubbed her skin.
Just say it, Robin repeated in her head. She needed to tell the truth before Y/N truly fell for Robin.
"I need to tell you something," Robin said, her free hand gripping the leather jacket by her lap. Y/N encouraged her with a small smile.
"Remember the note?"
"Of course I do." Y/N smiled
"I put it in the wrong locker," Robin said quickly, wincing as the words finally were put into the air.
"What do you mean?" Y/N asked, her head turned as she tried to understand.
"I wrote the note for Vickie and I was scared to tell you. " Robin looked up to catch Y/N's reaction. The smile turned upside down as a frown covered its place. Robin has never seen so much emotion on Y/N's face. And just like she feared, the terrifying hard mask appeared on Y/N's face.
Robin tried not to flinch as Y/N removed her hand and moved it quickly into her lap. Robin's palm smacked the table. As always, Robin ran her mouth until she made it worse.
"And I just didn't want to hurt you! And I was a little scared you'd break me in half. So I went along with the date, not expecting you'd like me! Because like I'm me and I'm so boring compared to you. I figured you'd see dating me was blah and wouldn't be interested. But then you asked for more dates and I was-"
"Scared to say no, yeah got it." Y/N barked. She was an idiot to believe someone saw her as something else than a scary monster that lurked in the halls. All this time, she thought Robin saw something in her, something worth liking and learning to love. But no, Robin was scared just like everyone else.
Y/N refused to let how upset she was shown on her face. She shook it off and grabbed her wallet. She slammed down some bills on the table, the harsh air hitting Robin's hand, she flinched again.
Robin was scared to look up as Y/N stood up. She was too scared to see the look on Y/N's face.
"Look at me," Y/N growled, Robin swallowed nervously and looked up. But there was a softness in Y/N's eyes.
"You're not boring, and you're not blah. You're funny, fun, and beautiful. Don't think so low of yourself. Next time, make sure the note goes in the right locker. I'll see you around Buckley."
Robin didn't know what to say. Y/N walked off, leaving her jacket with Robin.
~~~
Robin barely slept that night. She felt so guilty, and not all relieved. She thought telling Y/N would take the weight off her shoulders, but it was the opposite. The weight on her shoulders now crushed down on her chest.
Y/N's jacket thrown over Robin's desk chair was a painful reminder she had to see Y/N again.
The next morning, Robin held the jacket in her arms as she walked up to Y/N's locker.
"Um hey," Robin said quietly, Y/N and Vickie looked up at the sound of her voice. Robin shrunk under the gaze of both girls.
Y/N figured she was talking to Vickie so she turned back around to her locker.
Robin couldn't help but feel like she was slapped in the face as Y/N ignored her completely.
"I have your jacket." She said, tapping Y/N's shoulder. Y/N turned around, grabbed the jacket, and slipped it back on her body. In a way Robin felt a weird feeling of pride. She knew it was Y/N's jacket in the first place, but Robin wore it for weeks to where it almost felt like hers. It felt like Y/N was wearing Robin's jacket.
"Thanks," Y/N muttered the locker behind her slammed shut as she quickly walked off. Y/N couldn't watch Robin and Vickie talk about their feelings.
"Yikes, she's back to cold." Vickie observed.
"Yeah I kinda broke things off," Robin explained, a feeling in her stomach as Vickie tried to fight off a smile.
"Oh that's too bad!" Vickie said, but Robin could hear the excitement in her voice. "What happened?"
"I wrote this note to ask you out and I accidentally put it in her locker. I've been too scared to tell her but I finally did. And I think she hates me." Robin said, looking over her shoulder but Y/N was long gone.
"Ask me out?" Vickie asked, a smile on her face.
"Yeah," Robin said with a smile. Her face warmed when Vickie reached forward to lace their hands together. Robin couldn't help but notice Vickie's grip wasn't as tight and safe as Y/N's. Robin didn't feel like she was protected like the way she did in Y/N's hands.
"I'd love to!" Vickie cheered, both girls sharing a bright smile.
But Robin couldn't help but feel an unsettling feeling in her stomach.
~~~
It didn't take long for Robin and Vickie to officially be together. Steve was proud of Robin for finally making a choice, but even he couldn't help but feel like it was the wrong one.
Robin spent every minute with Vickie, searching for the fluttering in her stomach that she had with Y/N. Robin thought it was fear but maybe it was excitement.
Robin tried to fight off the frown on her face when Y/N passed her in the halls. No more warm smile sent her way. Just a hard look, the same look she gave everyone else.
B!D takes a kryptonite bullet for Kara basically dies, but they revive her.
A/N: It's been forever, but I'm procrastinating homework (in school for television writing) and happened across this old thing. B!D has taken on a life of her own at this point - she has a name, a backstory, a fiance . . . everything. So please excuse my not using 2nd person. Jacquelyn Danvers wants to be heard.
The pointed gun blazed a sickly emerald green. Kryptonite.
And it was aimed right at Kara.
Jacquelyn looked from the gun's barrell to her sister. Kara had her hands raised, she was saying something, but Jacquelyn's ears were ringing. She couldn't hear anything besides the pounding in her heart. She had to do something. She had to stop it.
"Supergirl, move!" Jacquelyn called. She only allowed her sister half a second to get out of the way before her body reacted to seeing Kara in danger. She shot forward as quickly as her legs would go. Arms outstretched, she shoved Kara out of the way just as a BANG filled the air.
Jacquelyn felt a searing pain rip through her chest. The force of the bullet sent her flying backward several feet and she rolled across the pavement.
Her entire body felt like it was on fire. Her head buzzed, and she was struggling to breathe. She could hear a commotion, but nothing made sense. The world became blurry. And then it went black.
Kara stumbled sideways when Jacquelyn pushed her. She heard the gunshot, and in that moment, she had never been more terrified.
That was, until she realized her baby sister had been shot instead of her.
"Jacquelyn!" Kara glanced at her sister and back at the man who made the shot. "Alex . . . Jacquelyn's been shot. Hurry!" She wanted desperately to run to her, but she knew she couldn't help Jacquelyn if she herself were dead. She had to take care of the shooter first.
She whizzed forward, her fist contacting her man square in the jaw. Kara hadn't ever hit that hard. At least, not on a human. He flew back and landed limply on the ground. Unconscious or dead, Kara didn't really care.
Within a second, she was at Jacquelyn's side. Her sister was passed out and bleeding profusely. Kara put pressure on the wound, blinking back tears as she looked at her sister's pale face.
Footsteps sounded behind Kara and moments later, Alex was at their side. "Oh god . . . you need to get her to the DEO now. I can't do anything for her here. I'll meet you there."
Without a word, Kara pulled her baby sister into her arms. She somehow seemed even lighter than usual. Like when she was a little kid. Just as helpless. Just as small and scared.
And Kara flew. She zoomed across the sky at record speeds - Barry would be impressed. But she didn't care about that now. All she cared about was her dying family.
When she lay Jacquelyn on the bed in the med bay, a team was already waiting. They got to work immediately.
"Is she going to be okay?" Kara asked.
"Supergirl, it's best you leave," an agent said. "You did your job, now it's time for us to do ours."
"I can't just leave! I'm not leaving her. She -" Kara's voice caught in her throat and she couldn't continue. She couldn't fathom the idea of losing her baby sister. "Just fix her."
J'onn walked in and placed a steady hand on Kara's shoulder. "She'll be okay, but you have to give them space to work. There is nothing you can do for her right now, Supergirl. You got her to safety. Come, let's go sit down."
Kara didn't want to leave, but she knew J'onn was right. She didn't have any medical training. "It's my fault. She pushed me aside! I should have gotten hit with that bullet."
"That bullet would have killed you. Jacquelyn at least has a chance. She knew that when she threw herself in the way."
Alex ran into the room. "Jackie! Oh my god. Jackie . . . What the hell happened out there?!"
"We were attacked," Kara explained. "He had a kryptonite gun and Jackie - she saved my life. I swear, Alex, if anything happens to her. If she doesn't make it, I will never forgive myself."
Kara was crying now. J'onn wrapped her in a reassuring hug as Alex moved to Jacquelyn's side.
"She'll make it," Alex said. "She has to."
The monitor started beeping rapidly.
"Shit!" Alex said.
"What's happening?" Kara asked. "What's going on with her?"
"She's coding. Get me a defribrillator. Now!" The doctor's worked in tandem with Alex as they quickly prepped Jacquelyn for the shock. "Everybody, clear."
Jacquelyn's body jolted as electricity surged through her. But still, the monitor beeped in rapid succession. Alex charged it again, and again they shocked her.
But the monitor continued its quickened pace.
Until it stopped.
"No," Alex said. "No, Jackie. You are not dying on me. Don't you dare die on me!"
Kara pulled away from J'onn to rush to Jacquelyn's side. "No, no no no," she sobbed.
Alex interlocked her fingers and positioned them over Jacquelyn's heart as another doctor placed oxygen over her mouth and nose. Alex furiously pumped her sister's heart. Though steady in her movements, Alex with nothing short of terrified. The only thing keeping her together was knowing she was Jackie's only shot.
Alex kept this up for several minutes. She refused to give up. She refused to give in to the possibility. The world spun around her and she felt like she would pass out. But she didn't stop.
A slow, steady beep started on the monitor.
Alex took a step back, her eyes filled with tears and heart full of relief. "She's not dying. Not today."
The doctor's took Jacquelyn to surgery to fix the damage. The bullet hadn't gone all the way through, so it had to be removed and bones and organs repaired.
Alex and Kara sat outside the room the entire time.
"I'm scared, Alex. Is she going to be okay?" Kara asked.
"She was in bad shape . . . but our doctor's are the best." Alex was just as scared as Kara. But she was the oldest. She couldn't show it. She had to be strong for all of them.
It seemed like hours before anybody came to get them. "She's stable. She should be waking soon. You can go see her."
Kara jumped up and threw her arms around the doctor before zooming to Jacquelyn's bedside.
Jacquelyn looked pale and sickly.
Both sisters sat by her bedside, holding her hands. "Oh Jackie, I am so, so sorry," Kara said. "I should have been faster. This is all my fault."
"Stop beating yourself up, Kara," Alex said as she gently stroked a stray piece of blond hair from Jacquelyn's sweat-covered face.
With a small groan, Jacquelyn opened her eyes.
"Hey, Jackie," Alex said softly. "How do you feel?"
"Ow . . ." Jacquelyn scrunched her face and turned her head from the light.
Alex immediately got up to turn it off. "Is that better? You were badly hurt, so it's normal to feel some pain, but we can try to ease it as much as possible."
"Kara?" Jacquelyn asked. "Is okay?"
Kara squeezed Jacquelyn's hand in both of hers. "I'm right here baby girl. I'm okay."
"It was kryptonite . . ."
"I know. You saved my life. Don't ever do that again, Jackie. You could have died."
Jacquelyn squinted up at Kara. "I had to protect my family."
At her words, tears welled up in Kara's eyes again. Her sister, her baby sister who had always been so soft, so sweet, so . . . nervous. Had been brave enough to nearly get herself killed for Kara's sake. It was both touching and terrifying.
"And now," Kara said after a long pause. "We protect you. It's going to be a while before you're well, but Alex and I aren't leaving your side."
Jacquelyn reached for Alex's hand, who grabbed it quickly. "That's right," Alex said. "And it's ice cream and The Land Before Time as much as you want until you're well. How does that sound?"
'Great," Jacquelyn forced a smile. "Better if everything wasn't throbbing . . ."
Alex exchanged a worried glance with Kara. "Let's up your pain meds."
"No," Jacquelyn said, though her voice was strained. "I'm fine. I don't need it."
"Jackie . . ."
"No! It'll make me high. I want to remember.'
"Okay," Alex sighed. "But if it gets too bad, I'm doing it no matter what you say. Got it?"
StopNCII.org is operated by the Revenge Porn Helpline which is part of SWGfL, a charity that believes that everyone should benefit from technology, free from harm. Founded in 2000, SWGfL works with a number of partners and stakeholders around the world to protect everyone online
biiiig thanks to @girlgenius1111 for brainstorming this lil fic with me and listening to my rambles - would recommend listening to after the storm by mumford and sons for max angst as that was the soundtrack in my ears as i wrote this.
filling the void II a.putellas x sister!reader
you'd known you were taking a rather large risk the moment you'd arrived to the event with your friends and realized just what it was. this was of course followed by the staggering domino effect of knowing who ran and organised it lingering in the back of your mind.
you'd not been responsible for the tickets, only accepting the invitation of a night out with your co-workers turned friends, your older friends to say the least with most of them in their early to mid twenties and you still only at seventeen, though majority of people would never guess so if meeting you for the first time.
having grown up with a significant age gap between you and both of your older sisters you'd only had so many years living in your childhood home with them before suddenly they had lives and jobs and partners all of their own, and one day it felt like you blinked and suddenly you were left behind.
weekly family dinners slowly strayed to become monthly or just on occasion, trying desperately to find any sort of common ground with your sisters which might attract them back to spending time with you like you all used to.
but time stood still for no one and they got older while still seeming to refuse to accept you did too, the things they enjoyed doing together not something you ever seemed to be included in.
gone were the nights you'd all spend curled up together arguing over what movie to watch, often followed by the spontaneous late night drives you were snuck out for afterward once your mami was asleep.
bribed with the promise of ice cream the three of you would sit on the beach and listen to the waves, talking about everything and nothing for hours and hours.
sometimes when you were much younger you'd fall asleep on the sand with your head on either alba or alexia's lap, their fingers carding gently through your hair they spoke softer as to not wake you.
when it came time to leave they'd argue for a moment over who was carrying you back to the car, alexia nearly always losing as she very carefully returned you to your seat, alba sliding in the back with you as your head was cradled safely into her shoulder, arm draped protectively around your back.
you'd stir a little as the engine roared to life, lifting your head slightly as alba softly pushed it back down to slump on her shoulder again. "go to sleep fresa." your sister would coo, kissing your forehead as you'd drift off again.
fresa, little strawberry.
the small red berry your favorite fruit growing up meant as a baby your face was always stained red with the juice, finding endless amusement in smushing them against your lips rather than eating them properly.
the nickname given to you by alexia who would always laugh as she tried to feed you one and you'd almost take her finger off in your eagerness, having to be extra careful once your teeth came in and suddenly the small nips hurt.
as a small child your affinity for the fruit continued, t-shirt often stained with blotchy red patches to your lack of care when eating, your entire family now dubbing you as fresa, the name affectionate and loving and sweet.
but now, now it felt like ashes in your mouth.
growing up with such a large age gap had made both your sisters fiercely protective over you. your first year of school an eighteen year old alexia walked you there hand in hand every single day, often leaving the barcelona academy early to make sure she was there on time to pick you up again at the end of the school day.
her heart would swell as your face lit up everytime you saw her, waving goodbye to your friends and sprinting over toward her, the footballer often still in her training kit would drop down as you launched at her in a tight hug.
swinging your tiny little hand in hers she'd smile in amusement at your bookbag which was nearly the same size as you as she listened to your excited little ramble about your day, waiting patiently while you forced her to stop so you could pick a bunch of wildflowers from a small park near your home which blossomed every spring.
sometimes they were a gift for her, sometimes for your mami, even sometimes for alba though that was a lot less as your fifteen year old sisters unpredictable mood swings could be truly terrifying at times.
the year your father died was hard for the entire family, but it seemed to fall hardest on you. still too young to understand why suddenly one day he just stopped coming home, and no one really knew for awhile how to explain it to you in words which made sense among dealing with their own grief.
it confused you that as you asked when he was coming home again everyone just seemed to cry, your sisters often pulling you into a hug so bone crushingly tight at times it hurt your chest a little as your shirt became damp from their tears.
of course with time you eventually understood why he no longer came home and had instead made a new home in heaven.
the tight hugs with your sisters you now offered to them rather than they just be taken from you at will as you all did your best to move forward together in this new scary norm.
back then you'd been a tightly knit family unit, bonded by a loss which would always leave a hole in that unit. but overtime with a support system full of love and care it began to close a little, relishing in the time you got to spend with your two older sisters who were your biggest idols and in turn your biggest protectors.
you cheered very loudly and very proudly when alexia played her first senior game for barcelona, sitting on alba's shoulders and watching in awe as your sister blazed up and down the pitch so fast she was like a superhero.
and back then to you both of your sisters were your superheros.
but now dismissed and brushed off by the two women you'd always looked up to and held on such a pedestal growing up left you with a wound carved a lot deeper than you cared to admit or either of them cared to notice.
though of course nothing was missed by eli who with now only you at home to look after meant the pair of you grew even closer. though even eli's subtle attempts to hint to her two eldest that maybe you were feeling a little neglected and left out were waved off.
as far as alexia and alba could see by your instagram you had an active social life and a good handful of friends you hung out with regularly. why would you want to hang out with them anyway if you had friends your own age? what teenager chooses their sisters over their peers.
but what they failed to see was all the over posting and the near forceful attempts to shove a healthy social life down the throat of your followers was to try and prove you weren't a loser.
prove you went out and had fun with your friends, so it hurt even more to not be able to answer the question of why wouldn't your own sisters deem you worthy enough to invite you to do the same with them anymore?
instead now on your own you'd been forced to watch on through a phone screen as the pair of them seemed to grow closer and you suddenly felt a million miles away, some days even on a different planet despite both their homes being a mere twenty or so minutes from yours.
you'd always been smart, you weren't by any means cocky or arrogant you were just intelligent. both emotionally and logically you found yourself head and shoulders above your peers, excelling through school and graduating a whole year early at only sixteen.
you'd hoped maybe this display of maturity and achievement might allow you a small crack to slither through to spend more time with your sisters, and for the weekend following your graduation it seemed to work with both older girls plastered by your side for the entire 48 hours of celebration with your loved ones.
but of course the moment monday rolled around they were nowhere to be found when you'd woken that morning, returning to their own lives and their own homes which just didn't seem to hold a place for you in them anymore.
discussing with your school careers advisor from afar the options which were laid out in front of you now you'd finished school, you found yourself put forward for a junior position with a local pathology lab.
at first they were quite firm they were looking for someone older and with more experience, but with a gentle forceful push from your advisor you were offered the chance to interview anyway.
you'd spent the days leading up to it doing your research, you'd always had an uncanny knack for retaining information and this was no different.
you'd reached out to both your sisters for some advice, hoping they might be proud enough to come see you and help you prepare. though when all you got back were simple texts wishing you luck and not even asking you call them afterwards with how you went, you deflated like a balloon someone had taken a pin to.
the day of the interview came and passed.
it hurt that neither of your sisters bothered to check in, though given they were on yet another weekend away together with a few of alexia's teammates you tried to tell yourself they were just busy and hadn't realized, deluding yourself as the days passed that anytime your phone went off it could be them.
but it never was and you knew deep down they'd likely forgotten all about it, and in turn it felt like they had forgotten all about you.
and when after a few days you'd not heard anything back from the lab you emailed your advisor thanking her for the support but that you were unsuccessful in the position.
but not even five minutes had passed before your phone started to ring and you clicked accept, your eyes widening as you were offered both the job and even an apology.
your chest swelled at the positive feedback that you were the ideal candidate and that in fact your age was an advantage, you might have been young but you were eager to learn with a good mature head on your shoulders and that was exactly what they sought out in a junior position.
that had been twelve months ago and now you were qualified to both take and test the blood with careful supervision, having assumed you might stay in the role only a few months while you worked out what you wanted to do next you found yourself quite drawn to pathology.
over those twelve months you'd found yourself withdrawing from your school friends, struggling to find common ground now you seemed to be in an entirely different life phase to them and through no malice you all just seemed to drift apart.
with a large chasm opening in your chest at the breakdown in relationship with your sisters, your sisters who at some point in time you'd go to for everything and anything, you sought that out elsewhere.
from your very first day you'd felt welcomed and looked after, everyone assuring no question you had was stupid and that the very best lessons came from mistakes made.
so taken under the wing of a few of the more senior girls working you found yourself invited out for dinners, then to parties and birthdays, then just to hang out as that chasm lessened a little with your new older friends offering you the life advice and comfort you'd lacked with alexia and alba stepping back.
which brought you back to now as you chattered eagerly with your coworkers turned friends, all of you grateful for the weekend off since the lab only operated monday through friday.
your heart started to race and you felt your head spin as you looked up at the very large manuelas banner stretched out across the top of the entrance, though that could be attributed to the large amount of alcohol you'd already consumed at pre drinks.
you'd tried to plead with your friends before you entered the line outside the club, already able to hear the thundering bass and laughter coming from inside but all you could focus on was the knowledge your sisters girlfriend was likely already inside.
you knew at least your sister herself wasn't going to be here, having seen on her instagram that alexia was out for dinner with her agent and management team celebrating a brand new deal she'd just signed with nike for a further three years under them.
of course you found that out through instagram as well, as you did with most updates about their lives or careers. the text thread with both of your sisters pushed right down at the bottom of your contacts, rarely speaking to them much these last few months.
you’d stopped going to alexia’s football games, she hadn’t seemed to notice which only solidified she didn’t care if you were there or not. instead you spent your weekends with your new older friends, the ones who actually wanted you around and cared for you in a way you hadn’t felt from either of your sisters in a long time.
though no matter which way you explained the olga situation and your worries you'd be caught out for being underage your friends were not taking no for an answer. promising they'd look out for you and that the chances of you being noticed among the hundreds of women crammed into the club was slim to none.
so with a sigh you allowed yourself to be pulled into the line to get in, your friends doing their best to distract you as your nerves were obvious, though they eased a little by the time you finally made it to the front.
you all had your tickets scanned, that was easy enough and without an issue you stepped forward, hovering in the middle of the group as you tried not to look nervous when you handed the bouncer your fake ID.
really it wasn't all that much of a stretch and you knew you passed for nineteen always having looked a little older than your peers, especially with the amount of makeup slapped on your face right now as you shifted and subtly tugged your dress down a little as it hitched up your ass.
when you'd bought the ID you knew better than to age yourself up more than a few years, nineteen was reasonable, achievable, anything more and you knew you'd be pushing it.
before anything else you'd contemplated just stealing alba's ID, but trying to pass for twenty seven was laughable and a disaster waiting to happen so you'd abandoned that thought quite quickly.
flashing the rather hulking and stern looking bouncer a smile as charming as you could manage, you withheld your sign of relief as he handed the ID back to you and nodded for you to proceed.
your friends dragging you inside your body sagged and they all announced this called for shots before you were even a few feet into the club.
you blinked a few times as you were pulled and jostled toward the bar, slightly disorientated from the tequila pumping through your blood stream, the amount of insanely attractive women surrounding you and the flashing strobe lights which pulsed above your head as the bass vibrated the floor beneath your feet.
a shot of something shoved into your hand you couldn't help but grin as the cheers rang out celebrating you, having been given a pay raise today at work on the anniversary of your first year with the lab.
"vamos!" you all yelled and downed the drinks, your nose scrunching at the sambuca which burned its way down your throat.
doing your best not to cough or gag one of your friends clapped you on the back and kissed your cheek, grabbing your hand and tugging you with her onto the dance floor.
your friends following suit and yet another drink placed into your hand you found yourself finally able to relax a little, calmed by the mass of sweaty drunken bodies crammed into the room you'd all but dismissed your fears of being found out.
but really, you were caught out long before that first shot passed your lips.
olga had been stood on the second floor with her team, watching with eager grins as the line to enter grew longer and longer and the cheers rang out, glasses of champagne clinking as one by one her partners slipped downstairs to continue the celebrations.
olga however relished in the gentle evening breeze fanned with the fresh fragrant air of summer, having spent what felt like the last month packed into that club organizing every little detail to be as perfect as could be, so understandably she was in no rush to go and join the party just yet.
she had always enjoyed people watching, a smile curling on her lips watching the groups of atendee's below. some clearly already maybe a little too drunk she trusted her security team to keep everything at bay, in olga's mind as she did with all of her events she'd prepared a solution to any possible problem which might pop up.
well, she thought every single problem that could have arisen.
eyes scanning faces and nursing the now lukewarm glass of champagne in her hands olga's gaze passed you by without a second thought, making it a further seven faces before suddenly she snapped to attention as if someone had poured a bucket of ice water over her head.
her grip on the half empty glass tightened and eyes narrowed as they locked in on you, the sound of your laughter floating through the air confirming her fears as her chest tightened watching you make your way easily through the security team and disappear inside.
the moment you did her phone was already pressed to her ear, champagne abandoned as she paced back and forth, olga dismissing one of her colleagues who popped her head out to check in with a wave of her hand.
"hola, amor?"
~
your worries were now long gone as you downed your third drink of the hour, bodies packed against you from all angles as you and your friends sang screamed along amid your laughter.
"your round chiqui!" you felt a poke to your cheek and rolled your eyes playfully, one of your friends shoving you halfheartedly. "vale vale i'm going!" you laughed at their insistence, shuffling and jostling your way through the crowd toward the bar.
finally busting out of the throng of drunken sweaty patrons you were able to breathe properly again, standing in line and running a hand through your hair tugging out a few loose knots.
"hola." you turned your head at the new voice, a tall brunette grinning down at you, the alcohol coursing through your veins impairing your judgement a little as you smiled back and returned the greeting.
"can i buy you a drink querida?" the girl asked, tone clearly flirty as you raised an eyebrow at her forwardness. you opened your mouth to reply however a different pair of eyes caught yours from the bar and suddenly your heart dropped into your stomach.
"no, lo siento." you apologised before turning to make your way away, the girl shrugging and turning to another woman on her other side, repeating the question as you pushed your way back in trying to find your friends.
though the longer your eyes searched the more desperate you became and so abandoning your plan you decided to just make a break for it.
"oye! pequeña?" your blood ran cold at the familiar voice calling out behind you, eyes widening as you ignored the urge to turn around, instead making a beeline for the door, mumbling apologies as you elbowed your way through the crowd.
you flashed a nervous smile to the bouncer whose eyebrows furrowed but before he could say a word you'd taken off, the man deeming he had other priorities as he made no move to follow you.
by the time olga made it to the front you were already gone, the security team confirming you'd left as olga dismissed their questions as to why she was looking for you, the older girl needing to keep this as under wraps as possible as she hurried upstairs already on the phone to her girlfriend.
~
your uber account linked to eli's you couldn't call one of those, so it was looking like you were walking home considering you didn't have the faintest idea of what bus would get you there.
you were grateful that the club itself was in the centre of town, plenty of people wandering around the warm summer night as the time had now passed midnight.
you were so caught up in your own head you hadn't noticed the car pulling up on the curb behind you, the slam of the door pulling you from your thoughts as you glanced behind you out of curiosity.
but the sight which met your eyes had them widening and the breath quickly snatched from your lungs, the furious hazel orbs burning a hole in your head.
"tienes muchos problemas." your sister growled, both of you locked in a stand off as you sized one another up and you swallowed hard, eyes darting around nervously.
"no!" alexia warned as she took a step closer and you bolted, quickly snatching your heels off and sprinting away as your sister took off after you.
"mierda!" alexia swore as you quickly disappeared, returning back to the car and instructing olga to drive as it was now suddenly a race to see who got home first.
your chest heaved, calves throbbed and lungs burned as you finally stopped running, almost home now and profusely sweating out the alcohol which was pumping through you.
adrenaline and fear having carried you to your final destination everything started to catch up as a wave of nausea washed over your body and you careered over, throwing up the remaining contents of your stomach onto the grass.
wiping your mouth with the back of your hand you forced yourself to your feet, darting around the back of the house and moving the trash bin as quietly as you could, shaking your head to try and remove the dizziness as you climbed up.
meanwhile back around the front alexia and olga arrived right as alba was dropped off by one of her friends, having been at manuelas herself and by the luck of god not running into you she'd only just checked her phone while in the bathroom.
"where is she?" alba asked confused as alexia jumped out, kissing her girlfriend goodnight and promising she'd be home soon, olga sensing this was now a family matter as alba waved and she was gone.
"joder when i get my hands on her, ten foot under in a grave!" alexia warned coldly, body tensed with rage as the two made their way to the front door, alexia pounding her fist against it and tapping her foot impatiently.
"ale!" alba pushed her hand away as she did it again, the door swinging open before another word could be said. "Dios mío. what is wrong?" eli questioned worriedly, alba paling a little as alexia rolled her eyes unfazed.
"mami do you know where your daughter is right now?" alexia asked coldly, eli frowning at the question. "i know two of them have just woken me up at nearly one in the morning." the woman responded calmly, raising an eyebrow as alexia huffed and gently moved the shorter woman out of the way striding inside.
"alexia what-" eli started, the blonde making a beeline for your bedroom as alba closed the front door, alexia all but kicking your door open as you froze like a deer in headlights, halfway through the window.
"oh que perfecto!" your sister was hauling you the rest of the way inside as you stumbled and almost fell, wincing as she grabbed your ear and twisted hard causing you to hiss and try to pull her hand off to no avail as you were dragged across the room.
"alexia? let her go ya mismo!" eli ordered as your sister shoved you to sit down on the sofa, towering over you with a murderous glare as you tried to stand again, quickly abandoning that idea as you slouched backwards with a frown, crossing your arms over your chest.
"mami do you know where she has been? where we found her? what she has been doing?" alexia was on the brink of exploding, and there was a time where perhaps you'd have teased her for the vein in her head looking ready to pop but long gone were those days.
"hija?" eli sighed tiredly, raising an eyebrow as she took a seat in the armchair in the corner of the room, alba and alexia's glares trained on you as you refused to meet their eyes.
"i was out with my friends mami, like i told you i was." you answered with a shrug causing your sisters to scoff. "tell her where." alexia continued to probe as you rolled your eyes, digging your grave a little deeper but beyond the point of caring now.
"at a club." you mumbled, picking at a loose thread of your dress. "más fuerte!" alexia growled in warning. "no, i heard her." eli held up a hand and you chanced a look up to meet her eyes, face unreadable.
"she was at manuelas mami, at olga's event in a club drinking with women twice her age! drinking, at seventeen in a club!" alexia hissed, fists balled by her side as once again your eyes rolled.
"you roll your eyes at me one more time hermanita and i will turn them black!" alexia exploded, taking a step toward you as alba grabbed her wrist and tugged her back.
"some friends hermana, sneaking you into a club and buying you alcohol? group of idiotas!" alba snarked adding in her two cents as your jaw clenched and you bit your tongue.
"do you have any idea how much trouble olga could be in if someone reported that there was minors at the club and drinking? she could lose her license, maybe lose her business, her team would be investigated-" alexia ranted on and on as you sighed quietly.
"no one would have found out alexia, stop being so dramatic." you muttered, and if you were all in a cartoon you were sure steam would have poured from her ears.
"pequeña since when are you this stupid? this reckless? this selfish!" alba spoke up again, shaking her head in disbelief, disappointed in you while alexia remained angry.
the last word caused a bitter smile to be painted across your face, body vibrating with a chuckle as alexia's eyes widened. "is this funny to you hermanita? are you laughing right now? because i will give you something to laugh about if-" alexia warned, cut off by eli clearing her throat in a silent warning.
"i went out with my friends and did a few shots, lock me up alexia!" your voice dripped with sarcasm as you pouted and held up your wrists mockingly as if ready for them to be cuffed.
"hija." eli's stern tone cut through that as your hands dropped and you sighed. "mami por favor i am tired and it is late, can i go to bed?" you asked quietly, eli's face softening as the older woman took pity and nodded.
"sit your ass down hermana we aren't done here!" alexia warned as you stood, her words ignored as you moved to kiss eli's cheek as she drew you into a hug, murmuring an apology to her as your sisters watched on in disbelief.
"mami. really?" alba scoffed as she gestured for you to head to your room and you shot your sisters a filthy glare. "you ruin my night, alexia's night, olga's night and you have nothing to say pequeña?" alba accused as you only shrugged.
"i was fine, i was safe, you had no reason to come here. you ruined your own night!" you snarled back, the sudden tone catching your sister off guard, not used to you pushing back like this and certainly not expecting that as a response.
"sit. down." alexia's larger form blocked you from moving, glaring down at you as you both stood chest to chest. "no. move, puta." you growled, the blondes eyes widening as you tried to push past her and she grabbed the material of your dress in her hands and shoved you back harshly into the wall.
"go on la reina, hit me!" you challenged with a twisted smile at the pure rage in her eyes as you raised your chin up, daring her to make contact.
"alexia! déjala ir, now." eli stood and warned firmly, alexia's grip loosening as you pushed at her chest sending her stumbling backwards. "you don't scare me anymore alexia. i hate you both! stay out of my life." you hissed, both your sisters eyes widening further at the venom in your tone.
but at your words and obvious lack of remorse toward the situation all the midfielder could see was red.
"careless, stupid, selfish little accident!" alexia hurled back angrily as you paused by your door, hot tears burning at your eyes as her words cut you deep like a dagger dragged down your back.
but you wouldn't let her see that they hurt so you refused to turn around and give her the satisfaction.
your anger deflating and now numb and tired you stepped into your room, door closing with a gentle click and a thud of your lock as alexia stood chest heaving with rage watching you go.
"she's seventeen drinking in a club and she gets a kiss on the cheek and sent to bed? mami!" alba echoed her sisters thoughts with a scoff as alexia watched your door for a moment more, your light turning out before she stepped away.
"she's a baby mami! our baby. she is out drinking and dancing and doing god knows what with older women, who don't know that she is a minor! are you blind? deaf? do you not care about her? her safety? she needs rules, consequences, discipline! she is out of control." alexia struggled out, eli fixing her with an unimpressed stare at her words.
"she is not a baby anymore and it would do the two of you some good to remember that hija's, if you have any hope of fixing this." eli spoke calmly as both your sisters faces scrunched up.
"fix it? por favor we have to be sorry? for what mami you are joking!" alba laughed bitterly, shaking her head and shooting a glare at your door with half a mind to kick it in and lay into you herself if no one else would.
"both of you. venga aquí." eli nodded for them both to follow her as she lead her two eldest daughters out onto the balcony, ordering they take a seat as she firmly closed the doors, your ears not needing to catch wind of any of this if you were still awake.
you were, sobs muffled into your pillow as your eyes stung from the salty tears pooled in them and the smeared makeup not yet wiped off your face, mascara stained tears carving their destructive little path down your cheeks as your body shook violently at the effort to try and stay as quiet as possible.
"mami it is late we-" alexia started, the night air cooling her flushed cheeks as eli took a seat across from them. "no, you woke me up and caused all of this, and now you will both listen to me." the woman warned as both girls nodded.
"before tonight, when is the last time either of you saw your hermana?" eli asked calmly as alexia and alba both shared a look, clearly struggling to remember.
"maybe your birthday? but mami-" alexia started, silenced by a hand held up her way. "my birthday was three weeks ago hija's, and it was just dinner. what did you do afterwards?" eli's tone was a little sharper now.
"we went to ale's house, i wanted to see olga since she returned from her trip." alba answered this time as eli nodded. "and did you invite your sister?" both girls hesitated before shaking their heads, starting to sense where this conversation was headed.
"but mami-"
"no, i will ask the questions."
"tell me ale, how long has your sister worked at the lab?" eli asked quite casually as alexia opened and closed her mouth a few times. "eh, a couple of months?" she guessed, even alba wincing at that as eli hummed.
"no, one year. one year today, well yesterday. that is why she went out with her friends, to celebrate. i knew she was going to drink, she was honest with me about that as she always is. we went to dinner together on friday to celebrate her achievements." eli informed as alexia and alba shifted a little uncomfortably.
"she didn't tell us." alba dared to speak up, eyes dropping to the table at the fierce look from the older woman across the table. "no she didn't. i asked if she wanted to and do you know what she said said?" eli questioned, neither girl daring to answer.
"your sister said why mami? they won't care, they don't have time for a stupid dinner." eli's tongue cut like a sword through the tense silence rolling in like a fog around the table. "time. something the both of you no longer have for your sister it would seem." eli hummed, crossing her arms and resting them on the table.
"mami we-"
"no, i am not done."
"growing up the pair of you have always had one another, three years apart and always close. always filled with love, always looking out for each other like we raised you to. always together." eli started as alexia awkwardly fiddled with the hem of her shorts.
"i know your sister is younger, much younger. but never did i think that would ever mean the two of you do not care for her and look out for her the way you looked out for one another growing up. you had each other, but when you both moved out she had no one but me." eli's tone became harsher as both girls sank deeper into their chairs, both on the verge of throwing up with guilt as her words hit home.
"i am partially at fault as i should have said something sooner. i know you both love her, i do. but she does not, she does not think you care and i can see why. i watched her try desperately to gain your attentions once you both left, i watched her heart crack that little bit more when she was rejected again and again. and it broke my heart because that is not how i raised any of my girls to be!" eli continued as alexia swallowed a hard lump in her throat and alba stared blankly down at the ground.
"i am getting older hijas, and so is she. i can see her now going backwards, she pulls away from you both and if you do not make attempts to fix this then she will pull too far and she will be out of reach. is this what you want?" both girls were quick to shake their heads.
"then do better, find a way to fix this. go to your own homes and think about why your sister does not feel she is welcome in them anymore, and why she no longer feels she holds a place in your life or that either of you deserve space in hers. before it is too late all together, you both need to fix what you have broke."
Summary: A night at Gretchen's and your house proves that Regina is "shockingly" a really good gf. (set after the events of the 2024 movie)
warnings: I dont think there's any, maybe fluff(?)
“Gretchen!”
Your shout echoed through the entire house as you poke your head out the small aperture on your door. There is a few seconds of silence before the sound of your sister’s voice was heard from her room down the hall.
“Ugh, what do you want, Y/n?” You could practically hear her roll her eyes as she speaks, just from the way she answers.
You smirk at the thought a little before responding. “Are the others coming over today?” You shout with a bigger smile on your face.
Gretchen, currently sitting by her dressing table touching up the smallest flaws of her makeup, sighs. She already knows how this is gonna go. Taking a deep breath, she shouts back. “Yeah, yes they are”
“Okay” You excitedly shout back and giggle, closing the door. You walk over to your wardrobe and rummage through your somewhat neatly folded clothes, looking for an outfit which would make you look cute but would also make you be the perfect eye-candy for your girlfriend of 2 months, Regina George.
As you were doing so, something at the very bottom of your wardrobe caught your eye. “AHA” You exclaim as you quickly reach down to pick it up, once you do, you hold it up in front of yourself while smiling. It was a light-shaded pink hoodie which you stole from Regina at one of her parties back when you guys weren’t together. Although it might seem creepy-it kinda is-, Regina has been aware of it for a while now.
Now all that is left to do, is to find a pair of pants, do a very light makeup, do your hair and you’re done. But of course, everything feels better to do with music, so naturally you turned on your TV and opened Spotify on it, playing your Liked Songs playlist.
After you’re done with all that, you look into the full length mirror which is propped up against the wall. You are semi-satisfied with how you look and with that thought you go downstairs to prepare snacks for your sister’s friends and of course your girlfriend.
After about an hour of restlessly sitting in front of the TV in the living room, you finally hear the doorbell ring which makes you jump right up darting towards the door while shouting “I’ll get it!”. Your hand grips the handle tight and almost rips out the door as you pull it open. When you do so, you’re met with the face of Damian, his eyebrows raised in surprise.
“Girl, what the hell. You almost ripped the damned door outta its sockeds” He say with a hint of concern in his voice as he looks at you. You just chuckle lightly before standing aside to let them in, as they all come in one by one, your eyes excitedly follow every person, impatiently wishing to see Regina’s face. But as the last person comes in, she is nowhere to be seen. Your eyebrows furrow and your face contorts to a frown.
“Guys, is Gina not coming today?” You ask, trying to hide the sadness in your voice. You see Cady open her mouth to speak but before she could, a voice speaks from the doorstep-as you are still standing in the doorway with the front door wide open.
“Ahw, did someone miss me that much?” Regina teases with a giggle as she steps next to you. Your head whips to the side so fast, the others get worried you might have gotten whiplash.
“Gina” You all but scream and jump into her arms just as fast. She is quick to catch you and chuckles as she places her head on top of yours before making eye-contact with a group of smirking friends. Her ears grow hot as she slowly peels you off of herself and smiles down at you.
“Hi, baby” She whispers so the others don’t hear the nickname-which she could be teased for later-.
“Hey, Gina” You smile back before looking behind you and seeing the others staring at you two. You immediately take a step back with a blush coming up your neck while clearing your throat. You turn on your heels to face the others-it seems that your sister has already come down to join them-. “So uhm, I made snacks..”
“OOOH, snacks!” Karen exclaims excitedly and claps her hands, already making her way to the kitchen with the rest of the group trailing behind her. And just in a couple of seconds it’s just you and Regina.
“Sorry for jumping on you like that. I know you don't like the others teasing you about it” You say, scratching the back of your neck nervously, the top of your headphones which were around your neck bumping into your hand in the meantime. Regina shakes her head at what you say.
“No, it..it’s okay. It’s just a little awkward” You nod your head in understanding. Then she scoffs and cups your cheeks with both her hands, pulling you roughly into a soft, passionate kiss. “I guess…I missed you too, Nerd.” She mumbles into the kiss, her breath hot on your lips. Your heart is hammering in your chest as your blush deepens and you tilt your head up a little to sneak another kiss from her before completely pulling away with a sigh.
After a while you went up to your room, because you wanted to leave the group of friends which you weren’t a part of to have a nice night together-although it was very hard convincing Regina to not yank you down onto her lap while they were choosing the film they were gonna watch-. Anyway, in your room you just decided to sit down at your PC and play some Sims 4 to keep yourself busy when you got too bored. And it helped for a while until you got bored of that too, so you look at the time and realise it was already 19:00. You decide to shower now so you don't have to wait out all the other people in the house, because even if they say it's not a sleepover, it will definitely turn into one.
After the shower you decide to go downstairs to the kitchen. When you arrive, you walk up to the fridge and smile to yourself when you glance at the tray of RedBulls in the fridge. You scoop it up in your arms and quickly but quietly sneak into your room, only to realise you’ve put your phone down on the kitchen counter.
With a deep sigh, you walk back downstairs, but before you reach the kitchen, you are stopped by a voice while walking past the living room. “Y/n!”
You turn towards the living room and see your girlfriend walking up to you, and it’s only when you’re face-to-face that she talks again. “Y/n”
Your eyebrows raise in confusion as you look up at her, tilting your head to the side. “Yeah…?”
“You know, in the span of the 4 hours we’ve been here, the only time I've seen you come down was like 2 minutes ago, and you were carrying a crate of RedBulls.”She gives you a stern look, while placing a hand on her hip.You swallow hard and give her a half-confused look, because you already have an idea or two of what this could be about. “Mind telling me, when did you have dinner?”
“Uh, well you know…before you guys came” You offer a light-hearted smile.
“Nuh-uh. Even if you did, you should already have eaten something since” She squints her eyes at you.
“I'm just-I'm not hungry”
Regina only rolls her eyes at that and grabs onto your arm, pulling you towards the kitchen, then sitting you down on a chair by the dining table. “Stay here, I'm making you waffles, ‘kay?” Her voice is so soft, any other person would think it’s a whole other person, but no. It’s Regina George. Your Regina George. You nod softly at her and within 30 minutes, the waffles are done. Regina walks over to you and places a plate of waffles soaked in whipped cream with small bits of strawberries on top, alongside with a glass of milk.
“Gina- “ You are about to complain about eating alone, but then Regina sits down in front of you with two forks in her hand, handing you one. Regina then cuts a piece with her fork and puts it in her mouth while you stare at her.
“What? You want me to eat it all?” She comments after swallowing the bite, to which you shake your head and stick your own fork into the waffles, cutting a piece. Before putting the bite into your mouth you speak up.
“Why..are you doing this?”
Regina gives you a weird look before getting another piece. “Because you’re my girlfriend, and I love you and I know what you’re going through. Duh.” The three word phrase rolls off her tongue so perfectly you almost miss it but when you don't, your cheeks heat up.
“I- uh.. I love you too!” You say, smiling from ear to ear as you place a small kiss on her cheek which has already begun to redden when she realised what she had said.
Bonus: As the group of friends watch the interaction from the living room, Gretchen suddenly speaks up; “You know, she is actually not that bad of a girlfriend.” The others look at her and there is a second of silence before Damian speaks up. “Girl, that’s what I was saying!”
A/N: hellooo, my first fic on here, its kinda shitty but i enjoyed writing it very much sooo yeah.
yard work - chapter 16 [final chapter] (regina george x reader)
fandom:
Mean Girls (all media)
pairing:
Regina George x OFC/Reader
summary:
You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.
warning(s):
talk of past drug use and withdrawal symptoms.
[love renée but fuck am i getting sick of this gif. been looking at it for sixteen goshdarned chapters. finally i am freed.]
You woke up first. Naturally. Every time, every single morning that you'd had sleepovers, you'd been the first to wake up. The sun was shining through the blinds in a pleasant, warm yellow tone. Still morning but not unreasonably early.
You shifted to a more upright position, looking down at the girl still snoozing, whose hand was holding onto your forearm. She was all sprawled out, starfished as much as one could be on a couch. Her body was taking up the shorter end of the L-shape, one knee curled up towards her body, just barely on the couch, while the other stretched well beyond the end of the divan. You were situated much the same, except the other way around. You laid on the longer end so that your heads had almost met in the corner.
Her arms reached out towards you, one around your pillow and the other holding onto you. You knew you'd fallen asleep with much more distance between you, but you couldn't say you minded her having drifted.
Did you, though? You sighed and grumbled as you got up. Might as well do something while you contemplated reality, or something. Mrs George had insisted on some classic American breakfast ingredients, such as bacon and pancake mix. You didn't feel like causing a fire hazard, so pancakes were a no-go, at least for now. Eggs and bacon you could do.
What did you even, like, want? Realistically, actually, no, unrealistically what did you want? There was no sense in trying to make your base wants and desires realistic because at that point was any of that yours anymore? Likely not.
You wanted nights spent with Regina, talking and eating take-out, laughing until your tummy hurt and looking at her glowing in the blue light of whatever Adult Swim show was on at the time. You wanted grocery trips with Mrs George and to go to Kylie's games. You wanted people at school to just, simply not be jerks. You wanted Janis to find peace. You wanted Cady to wake up.
You wanted yesterday to not have happened. You wanted Thanksgiving dinner at the Georges' to never have happened. You wanted for your dad to be different, for Mr George to be different. You wanted your mom to not have died.
Looking at the bacon sizzling in the pan, you chewed on your lips and thought about that. You wanted many things. So many things, mostly for things to not have happened or to have happened differently. It was all wildly unrealistic. You were not a wizard, a time-traveller, or some other mystic being. You were a teenager.
You cracked the eggs into the mix. God, it smelled divine. You pulled a salt and pepper shaker from the spice rack and sprinkled a reasonable amount on there. You groaned out loud and threw your head back when you remembered there was sriracha in the fridge. Mrs George had seen you eyeing the bottle and had not taken a no for an answer, despite your abundant protestations.
"Spare your kitchen utensils the horror and go masturbate in your room like a normal person!" Regina hollered from the living room.
"Oh! Spatula! Harder! Harder!" You cried, moaning like you were receiving the blowie of your life. "If you want breakfast you're gonna have to witness this sordid affair." You called back, giggling. You leaned back from the stove, bending back at the waist. Regina was leaning her chin on the armrest, still more or less sprawled on your couch. There was a pout on her lips and a light flush to her cheeks.
"I'll show you sordid, nerd." She grouched before getting up. You straightened your posture, turning back to the stove, and probed the eggs in the pan with the spatula with a satisfied grin on your face.
You wanted this and more, above all. Was that something you were allowed to want? More importantly, was that something you were allowed to ask for?
Regina came up behind you, hand coming to rest on the small of your back. You didn't jump, much, which you were proud of.
"Looks yummy." She pointed out.
You hummed in agreement. "Can you put toast in the toaster?"
"Sure."
Then, as if no time at all passed, you were sitting down. Then eating and chatting. There was toast, eggs and bacon, and you'd made yourself a bowl of oatmeal. Mrs George had splurged on some blueberries and local honey. Regina refused to make eye contact when you were chewing, citing that your O-face was hard to look at. You only moaned louder and made more faces at her.
Then, just as you were heading to the couch to digest the meal as god intended, lying down, Regina yanked you to the foyer. Still in your jammies and everything, she insisted you bundle up and go for that walk she was talking about yesterday.
You'd hoped she would've forgotten. Sure, the weather was nice for once but if you didn't have to go outside then why would you? It was below freezing!
Much like her mother, she would not budge. You were going on a walk.
"What am I? A dog?" You muttered as you wrapped your scarf around your neck.
"If you were a dog, you'd be a... A Doberman." She was already dressed. It was odd for your roles to have switched like this. Usually, you were the one waiting for her to get ready. She had on a thick, white parka and a cute beanie. She also had on black leggings sure to insulate absolutely nothing and bulky, also black, fur boots.
"What? 'Cause I'm big and scary?" You preened at that, smiling widely.
"Nope." She tilted her head, examining you. "Gloves."
"Geez, okay, mom." You grabbed some mittens from the hat rack. "Why Doberman?"
"They wouldn't look so scary if they didn't have their ears clipped, y'know?" She said. You just looked at her weirdly, not catching her meaning. Your ears were not clipped. "Anyway, let's go."
"Aye aye," With that, you were out of the door.
You walked the block and down to the street. The sidewalk stopped so you went by the side of the road. She was walking ahead of you. It was cold out but not too windy, so it didn't feel so bad.
The sidewalk started again eventually. There, you walked side by side. You were just looking at a bird perched on a wire when you felt her grab your hand. Thinking she had something to say, you turned to look at her. She was still facing forward, the other hand in her pocket, walking along. She was just holding your hand.
Oh. Oh. She was holding your hand. Out in public. Not a lot of people were out at this hour, not even cars since it was a weekend. There was a woman with a stroller. A psychopathic man out on a jog. A dog walker. Still, it was outside where anyone who walked by could see.
You arrived at the park, hands clasped together. You stopped by a bench.
"I don't think we should sit." You said, observing the coating of snow piled on top.
"Let's go over there." Regina pointed to a tree a little ways away.
You went obediently, following the tug of her hand in yours. She was holding your hand. You felt all warm in your chest, like you were full of warm water.
You stopped by the tree. She looked around, trying to spot if anybody was nearby. Then, like she had a secret to tell you, she motioned for you to bend down closer. You did. Her hand squeezed at your fingers as the other came up to your neck, pulling you down the rest of the way.
The warmth you'd felt became hot, like an oil fire erupting in the foil-covered saucepan that was your heart, kernels and half-popped popcorn sputtering out as she kissed you. Your eyes just barely got to shutter closed before she pulled away. Instinctively, your body so starved of affection and touch, you chased her and found her lips again.
She smiled against your mouth. It felt like a secret of the utmost importance being shared, like a pinkie finger wrapped around your own in the corner of the room during a sleepover, giggled promises and childish adoration. She tasted vaguely like breakfast, and maybe egg-breath should've been nasty, but it wasn't.
Cold seeping in, the anxious feeling like you were soon going to be caught taking hold, you pulled away. You didn't lean away entirely, crowding her against the tree. When you'd gotten so close, pinned her, you weren't sure.
"Do..." What were you supposed to say post-kiss? "Do you like it sloppy?"
"What?" Her brows furrowed and the smile on her face turned sharper. What to say post-kiss: Not That.
"Uh, I mean, I just- uh..." You swallowed. "I don't know how to, like, I don't have technique. I dunno. Was that good? I saw Aaron was doing it differently..."
Regina rolled her eyes, head thumping lightly against the tree as her neck lolled back. "You would bring up Aaron now." She sighed. "It's fine. It's- it's good."
"Okay." You swallowed again. A slow smile crept up to your face. "It was good?"
"Ugh, yes, shut up." She shoved you away, but you just allowed the momentum to swing you back to her. "I... I don't think I'm good at words."
You chuckled at that. "No, you're not." She glared. You shrugged. "But, hey, you know me. I'm Chatty Kathy."
"No," She huffed through her nose, seemingly in frustration. "I wish I could say to you what I mean. What I feel. But I just... It's... It's not supposed to be but it's embarrassing."
Looking at her, hunched in on herself like a girl her age was supposed to be at times, so different from how she was most of the time, made your chest feel tight. You figured a person having been raised like she was, having turned out the way she had, would find being vulnerable uncomfortable. Or, as she said it, embarrassing.
Then again, it wasn't your place nor your duty to psycho-analyze her.
"Reg, I..." You hesitated. "I'm tired of, like, sitting in the passenger seat while you bulldoze everyone. I'm tired of feeling like if I do something you don't like you'll push me under too." You pulled away from her, hands getting sore from leaning your weight against the rough bark. "And then there's this whole thing." You gestured around you at the empty park. "Even if we were the best couple ever in terms of, I dunno, vibes or something, we're still..."
"Lesbians." She finished for you. "I'm a lesbian, Jorts." A sentence you never thought you'd hear from Regina George. "I know. For me, it felt justified for a long time, keeping them in their place, but since we started talking again, doing all that stuff just started to seem... Unimportant. And stupid." She fiddled with her fingers, eyes glued to the space between you. "It hasn't gone away. I still want to, I guess, hurt people because it does make me feel better even if it's, like, fucked up. But I want something else more than I want that."
"What's that?" You couldn't help but ask, hope stuck in your throat. Choking hazard.
"You, obviously." She said it so flippantly as if those words didn't just send your heart into the Milky Way. "I want you. I'll stop doing that stuff for you. I know we can't be out yet, but I... I have good grades."
You looked at her, puzzled. She huffed and continued. "I'll go to college. Major in, uh, I dunno, some sorta politics and I'll change the law. Maybe a law degree would work better for that, actually." She seemed to think about it for a moment before returning to her point. "Whichever one would be best in getting gay marriage legalized."
"You..." You had to laugh at that, disbelieving as well as delighted. "You're gonna change the world for me?"
"If that's what it takes." She said, determination shining so bright it made your eyes water.
"Wow, okay." You licked your lips, trying to will the stupid grin off your face. You had some important questions still. "If I moved away, would you still stop?"
She paused at that. Took a moment to really look at you, like she hadn't considered that to be a real possibility.
"Yes." She sounded so sure you believed her. "I just don't have... What it takes anymore. I guess. I don't know if there's something wrong with me that I... I want to be mean, sometimes. It's funny. For me." She glanced down and then looked somewhere over your shoulder. "It took a lot of work to get to what Regina George is now. I don't want to put in all that next year."
"Y'know what they say. New year, new me." You quipped, looking down at her. You were quite sure your pupils had morphed into heart shapes, despite your valiant efforts to have this meaningful conversation without seeming like a love-drunk idiot.
(She kissed you. You kissed her. It was a beautiful morning, you were on a walk and you'd held hands and then you'd kissed under a barren willow tree. It was the first day of Christmas break and you were spending it with Regina George.)
"Does that mean I can be a raging bitch till January 1st?" She asked, eyebrow notching.
You laughed. "Only if you..." You bit your bottom lip, getting nervous. "Only if I get a kiss for every mean thing you say."
"Deal." She offered her hand to you, a cheesy smile on her face.
You pulled your glove off and spit on your hand, then made to take hers.
"Ew! That's disgusting!" She flinched away from you, violently shoving herself back against the tree. "Don't- no! Not near me! Don't touch me with that!"
She bolted and you ran after her, cackling maniacally. You waved your spat-on hand at her as you chased her around the park, her shrieking and you laughing.
"I'm serious, J!" She looked at you over her shoulder as she ran. "Stop chasing me!"
"Stop running away from me!"
"You're just gonna smear your spit on me, you- you fiend!"
"Pinky swear I won't!"
"I won't pinky-swear with your disgusting paws, you-"
With a yelp, Regina tripped over something, probably a root, and fell to the ground. You, having been closing in on her, put the brakes on, windmilled your arms, and tried to stop, but soon followed her into the snow.
"Ouf!" The breath wooshed out of her as you fell on her. She wheezed as you rolled off of her, half-heartedly punching in your direction. You giggled and dodged to the best of your ability, not even minding the snow seeping through your pyjama pants.
Giving some time for her to recover, you laid on your back and looked up at the sky. Clear blue with some thick, greyish clouds looming in the peripheral, morning was turning to day fast. Soon, the park would surely get some more traffic. Kids and their adults, mostly. There was a sizeable play area in the centre. You were pretty much on the outskirts of the park.
It was a familiar spot. You and the guys used to meet your other friends here all the time. Those times it'd been night, too dark to see the faces of the guys with big gym bags, filled to bursting with little plastic baggies and glass bottles.
You turned your head to look at her once her breathing had quieted down.
"You bitch," She hissed at you, the usual venom in her voice gone, replaced by exhaustion. You could only smile, somewhat sheepish but mostly just happy.
"It'd be a lot harder to resist if we were still in school, y'know." You said, turning back to watch the sky. "You can't change the law until we graduate. Until then, we're stuck here. And then, let's say you do change the law and it's passed, it's gonna take some time for people to accept that."
"Yeah," Regina agreed, folding her arms under her chin to lean on.
"And you can say that you'll change a hundred times easily, but actually doing it is different."
"When did you get so wise?"
"When I was all alone for years and did some stupid stuff."
"Like what?" You could tell she wouldn't be expecting what you said next. Even you weren't expecting it.
"You know how I sell drugs and alcohol, right? Where do you think I get the stuff from? I got to know some people while we weren't talking." You sighed. Remembering those times, the worst of them, still so fresh despite it having been years, wasn't nice. "Vandalism, underage drinking, shoplifting, driving without a licence... Did some harder drugs than weed... Stupid shit. I stopped most of it when I got caught the last time and almost went to juvie. Dad got me out, somehow. Probably threw money at people."
You turned your head to look at Regina. She was already paying keen attention to you. "I told my mandated therapist I was gonna change. I said I wasn't going to ever do anything like that ever again. I lied, of course."
"When did you actually stop, then?" She asked.
"Months after the mandated therapy was over." You put your hands in your pockets, getting cold. "I wanted to do it before then. I wanted to just, not be that. A druggie fifteen-year-old spraypainting some dilapidated trailer, hanging around guys that were way too old to be hanging around me. I didn't want to be that but at the same time being anything else was terrifying. I don't think highly of myself, but that was low even for me. Then, Mrs George found me one time."
"Mom?" The question was more out of shock than actual inquiry.
"Yeah." You blinked a couple of times. "I was in a bad state. Withdrawals. I made her promise she wouldn't tell my dad if I allowed her to take me home. She was talking the whole ride from downtown to mine, trying to keep me awake. I just lost it. I don't remember what I said or exactly what I did, but she had to pull over and restrain me." You gulped. "It was awful. Then she offered that I could mow your lawn for some money. I used it the first couple of times to get a new dose. She used to ask what I'd be spending it on and those times I had some bullshit excuse, but the first time I said I was probably gonna get some McDonalds', she cried. Cried real actual tears." You didn't feel like looking at Regina, but you could feel her eyes on the side of your head. "After that it just... It wasn't worth it."
"You never told me." Regina breathed out, still sounding shocked.
"I didn't want to." You turned onto your side, body facing her. "I was- am ashamed."
You didn't feel shame now, though. You undoubtedly would later, tomorrow perhaps, but not now. You were glad for it. You regretted it, wished you hadn't gone down that road, but lying there in the cold snow there was only indifference. That had happened. You had done that.
"Me too." She whispered. "Obviously, it's not the same, but-"
"I know what you mean. And it could be more similar than you think. Quitting an addiction is hard, but I wouldn't say quitting a behaviour is easy."
"It's stupid to compare drug addiction to being a bitch." Regina huffed, a frown on her face. "It's incomparable."
"Well, then let's not compare. Both can be hard in their own way without diminishing the other. What I'm trying to point out is that," You thought for a moment. "We're both trying to get over a bad, toxic habit that feels safe and good and like the only option, without seeing the merit or the other supposedly better option first. It's scary."
"Are you still trying to get over it?"
"I haven't been on drugs since, no. But it's not something that goes away. Not ever."
"And you're still kinda in it." She said, remembering your hustle around the school.
"Yeah. I can't expect you to be all buddy-buddy with everybody suddenly. That'd be hypocritical."
"So what do we do?"
What a question. One that you did not have the answer to. You didn't feel unsettled by the confusion. You hadn't told anyone of your dark past (gosh, could you be any more emo?) since those that knew had just kind of stumbled across it, so telling somebody felt... Good. You'd just sort of blurted it all out without thinking about it too much.
"Can we go back home? I wanna..." You stopped, realizing I wanna make out with you on the couch sounded awfully crude.
A lecherous grin spread Regina's cheeks. "Oh, I see. You just want me for my body."
"No!" You denied, indignant. "I would never."
"You would never want me for my body." She reiterated, purposefully misconstruing what you said. "Wow. Just wow."
"Regina, c'mon, I just mean..."
"Say what you were gonna say." She rolled away and up, towering above you with a twinkling smile pointed down at your prone body.
"Let's just go," You said and tried to get up. Like some bondage dominatrix, she pushed you back down with a shoe on your chest.
You hated how that sort of got to you. Your heart beat faster against her Ugg. Hopefully, she didn't feel it through the thick sole.
"Nuh-uh. Say it."
"I... I wanna make..." You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. "I wanna go home and make out with you on the couch."
"Oh, that wasn't so hard, now was it, baby? Let's go."
It was only once you'd made it back, chucked your wet clothes into the hamper, and spent a considerable amount of time in liplock, that either of you thought to circle back.
"Hey," Regina said, adjusting her weight to not be leaning on you so heavily. Your lips smacked apart and, gosh, now you were the gross ones. "I just now realized,"
"What are you realizing while you're supposed to be kissing me?" You pouted, falling onto your side and away from her. Your hand went over your eyes like you were a swooning maiden. Regina just patted your leg in mock consolation.
"You have your drug thing-" Only she would refer to your past addiction as your drug thing. "but I was, like, the only one doing anything actually wrong. Actively. You know what I mean." You craned your neck to look at her. Your double chin was probably epic.
"I lied to you by omission. I was really mean to you on Thanksgiving."
"Okay, lying by omission was bad and never do that again," She paused, waiting for you to affirm. You nodded solemnly. "But you were only mean after I was mean first. So, both forgiven. Anyway, I'm talking, like... I don't know how to say it."
You blinked. You didn't know what she meant so you couldn't really help. Regina huffed, nails scratching absent-mindedly on your calves.
"You made it sound like we were both wrong for how things exploded." She eventually said. "That was all me."
"I shouldn't have been such a doormat. I let you walk all over me and I never said anything about how I really felt."
"I don't think you can be in the wrong for that."
"I think I can be. At least the way that I was. I could've said something."
"And what would that've achieved? Me cutting you off and nothing changing?"
You clambered up to your elbows. "And now we're here." You smiled, one side a little crooked with how gleeful you were. "Look, we can hash everything out during the break, now just... Let's focus on other things."
Regina, still looking conflicted, caressed a hand up your leg. You shivered. You were in just a hoodie and loose briefs. Regina was more covered up than you, but still in just your old basketball shorts and a big band tee.
"Reggie, I'm getting used to asking for things I shouldn't want. Amuse me." You turned onto your back and hooked your legs around Regina. She fell forward, hands braced on either side of your torso. "Kiss me."
"I just don't want to mess up and have all this go away." She swallowed, a worried crease between her eyebrows.
"I think we're gonna mess up plenty of times. It's a possibility you'll find some justification to make somebody's life hell for a time. I could relapse." You pulled her closer with your legs, arms coming up to cross your fingers behind her neck. "A lot of the time we're not gonna want to admit it, we might not even know it. So, we can lay out a few... Promises, or something."
"Okay," Regina said, gazing down at you like you never imagined. Like you meant things to her. Important things.
"Promise me that you'll listen. Even if you disagree, please hear me out." She nodded seriously. "And, in turn, I promise to speak my mind. When I don't like something, or just like something, I'll say so." Again, she nodded. You loosened your hold on her neck and rubbed your thumbs on her cheeks. Getting to touch her like this, having her literally between your legs, was more than you ever thought you'd get.
Even if this ended in a similar fashion to the Thanksgiving kiss, or even much, much worse, you'd have regretted not taking the chance for the rest of your life.
"And... This is the most important one... Come closer."
Regina shifted closer, bending down, her elbows coming to rest next to your chest as she turned her ear towards you.
You whispered conspiratorially, like this was top-secret: "Still let me do your yard work."
Notes:
Fucking christ. I wrote this all in one sitting. 4.3k words. That's like two chapters. I've written long chapters before, longer than this, but I got so used to the 2k on average pace that this felt huge.
Also! Don't be spooked by the [final chapter] marking! This is the last chapter in the story, yes, but we'll be hearing more from Reggie and Jorts still! I have a couple of epilogue sequences I want to write. Would y'all be interested in a poll as to what order those should be published? As in, chronological. Do we start from 10 Years Later... or something more like, idk, next summer? Lmk in the comments :)
This might be counterintuitive to add, and if my lovely amazing readers have exercised their reading comprehension during this series they might get why on a more nuanced level, revenge on Gretchen was left out purposefully. This will not be the last we hear of her, I have some plans for her in some of the epilogues, but yes. That plot point was left open on purpose.
The name. A lot of people like it! I was feeling insecure about my lack of foresight and impulsive naming, but hey, as it turns out it's not that deep! To add, it went really nicely with the end there I think :) No changes will be happening.
This note is getting so long. I just wanna thank everybody that's been along for the ride so far. I read every single comment and check my notifications way too often for new ones. I'm pretty used to writing for quite dead/inactive fandoms on AO3, and I love that site it's my origin, but it's very different to Tumblr. I just feel like people on here are much more open to sharing their thoughts. Everybody who's bore witness to my grief with the taglist, thank you for your patience. And thank you so much for wanting to be on it. I cannot believe people wanted that. For little ole me? Oh, you shouldn't have...
If there are spelling errors or grammatical weirdness, shhh. I'm not reading all that again at 1am. Toodles!
Taglist will be posted separately! Comment on that post if you want to be added to be notified when the epilogies are published!
[Summary:] Y/n is a rare outcast who has wings, but her parents don’t care enough to take care of her. So what happens when She runs away to the safety and protection of Enid Sinclair and Wednesday Addams after hearing her parents make a deal with a persistent man who will stop at nothing to get his end of it?
[Warnings?] ooc Wednesday that's all I think, small mentions of abuse
[A/n:] Hope y'all don't mind but I changed from saying 'Y/n' to just saying 'you' and 'your' and so on! Enjoy! :]
Part | Part ||
[With Y/n]
It has been officially two days since You have been staying with Enid and Wednesday, and it was the best two days of your life. There were so many things you learned and so many things you experienced. And the best part of it? you can be free to do what you want! Play around with Thing? Of course! Draw all of your new friends? Absolutely! Ask Write questions when you're confused about it? You don't get hit or yelled at, It was awesome!
The only thing you didn't want to ask was why Enid was distant all day. You knew about Enid's and Wednesday's classes. So you would usually stay in the dorm with Thing and draw, or play while they were away. But when about the time Enid would come to the dorm and play with you, she wasn't there.
You and Thing were playing before you heard the door open but only Wednesday entered the dorm. You liked Wednesday, but was too scared to talk interact with her. You looked at Thing who only shrugged, or did something that looked like a shrug and crawled away somewhere as you huffed.
Wednesday walked towards you and stared. You only stared back, yours and Thing's drawings scattered around you in a mess. "Clean this horrid mess up, we have work to do today while Enid is out." You only tilted your head at her but obeyed regardless. Thing helped you to the best of his abilities, as you finally finished Wednesday started out the door. You hesitated but followed her outside. The air was chilly with a small breeze, You breathed in and smiled.
You loved outside, it's where you can be free and stretch out your wings, which were awkwardly getting bigger. your wounds were healed and you were happy about it. The nurse that fixed your scratches was odd to you. Looking at your wings a little too long, so you were happy you won't have to visit her anymore.
Wednesday walked in front of you in her usual confident posture which demanded to give her respect or else. You look from behind Wednesday to see that she was headed to the entrance of Nevermore. The woods that surrounded Nevermore was beautiful, but you shivered because the bearded man that chased you may still be in these woods. Your breath hitched as you hugged your notebook that Enid gave to you to write down your responses if they weren't yes or no, which had very bad spelling and somethings didn't even look like words, but you tried.
Wednesday huffed, but kept going. The only reason she wasn't going to help Y/n with her reading in the dorm is because she didn't want to be interrupted, and she wanted to get away from Nevermore and the very annoying students inside of it. She also wanted a quad over ice to cool her nerves. Wednesday felt Your tiny hands grip her oversize jacket and scowled. "If you don't let go I am going to pluck out your feathers," And that did the trick. Wednesday hasn't seen anyone retreat that fast, though that could be because you're a kid, but hey Wednesday wasn't complaining.
You stopped momentarily to write in your notebook, but Wednesday kept walking forwards. After you finished your statement in the book you looked up to see the Addams was farther away. you groaned and opted to fly to her. You spread your wings and flapped them with one powerful push of your wings and flew over to Wednesday. You made it in no time and landed in front of her, out of breath as you hasn't flown in a long time, and handed the short girl her notebook. Wednesday scoffed at the writing. Maybe she should teach you proper grammar too.
'were is we going' It said. Wednesday raised her brow at the younger girl with an unamused look and handed her the notebook back, and continued to walk. "We are going to the town of Jericho, ever heard of it?" You shook your head and looked forward. "Of course." she muttered and kept walking, but she nor Y/n and Thing could shake the feeling that they were being watched.
[With Enid.]
Enid huffed when she scratched her arm for the umpteenth time that day, the other spots that she scratched were turning red from the continuous assault on them.
Since her and all the other werewolves were going to wolf out today, they all had the day off in the forest to wait until they wolf out. Enid was excited. This was her first official wolf out, not one where she had to fight a Hyde Tyler through it all.
The only thing Enid wasn't glad about was the seemingly endless scratching that came with waiting. She was confused at first until she saw that the other werewolves were scratching furiously too, so from what she can guess is that this happens you're are about to wolf out, or this place is filled with invisible mosquitoes.
Either way she hated it. Enid was scratching furiously at her head and neck when she heard someone sit next to her and jumped. She turned to see a dark skinned girl with short curly hair, eyes that looked almost golden, look at her with a sympathetic smile on her face. "First time here?" Enid huffed in annoyance and nodded. The girl laughed. "Don't worry you'll get used to it, I'm Naomi." She introduced herself, holding her hand out for Enid to shake. "Enid." "I think everyone knows how you are, Enid" Naomi tilted her head. " 'The one Wednesday is soft for'."
Enid's cheeks were now were dusted with pink and looked away. "She's not soft for me." Naomi only tutted and shook her head. "Yeah right, who else does she let touch and call her nicknames?" Enid was going to respond, but stopped when another series of iches came. She looked over to Naomi to see that the other girl wasn't scratching at all. "Hey why aren't you scratching like crazy like everyone else?"
"Oh, that's because I'm not a werewolf." She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Then why are you here?" Naomi looked around to see if anyone was listening, but no one seemed to be interested in what they were talking about. "I don't know why I'm going to tell you this, but for some reason I trust you," Enid smirked. "I am very trust worthy." She boasted but Naomi raised a brow. "You literally have a blog about the gossip that goes around this school.
"That's-" Enid started, but looked down. "That's a good point." Naomi looked back at the chaos of werewolves in front of them. "I'll just say this, I'm not a werewolf but something that's similar." Enid furrowed her brows. What is similar to werewolf but not one? Though that thought disappeared once she had to scratch her head again. She growled in great frustration. "I change my mind, I don't know why I was excited to have my first wolf out." she growled out, Naomi chuckled and got up.
"Well, I have to go. Have fun scratching!" She ran off to another group of werewolves, and started to talk to them. Enid huffed again and started to scratch again. "I wonder what Y/n and Wednesday are doing."
[With Y/n and Wednesday.]
The trio were now in front of a cafe from what you saw. They walked inside and sat in a booth in the very back, You and Thing sat in front of Wednesday as she pondered what to teach You first. "It seems she knows how to write simple sentences, but not basic grammar, so I could start there." Wednesday straightened her posture when a young waiter came over.
"Anything I can get you ladies?" They asked looking at them both until Wednesday spoke up. "I'll have a quad over ice." The waiter jotted the order down before glancing back at you, then at Wednesday. "Would you like anything else?" "No-" Wednesday got interrupted when Thing started to sign something, which startled the waiter a bit. "Fine," Wednesday sighed. "And fries for them." "O-okay ma'am right away." The waiter jogged off to make their orders.
Wednesday turned to see you looking at her, your mouth slightly agape. "What?" The five year old only shook her head, and started to play a new game he taught her called Rock, paper, scissors. You groaned as you lost and was going to play another round, but Wednesday loudly cleared her throat. "Can you speak, Y/n?" you were taken back from the question. "Why does she need to know if I speak? I thought she liked the silence." The Avian nervously nodded anyway, Wednesday hummed and nodded looking at Y/n's notebook.
"Can you read?" You tilted your head and pondered on how you would answer that question. You could read a little bit, but not a lot. You never needed to read when you still lived with your parents only chores and smarts, so You shook your head slowly, looking back at the goth girl. "This may be harder than I thought." Wednesday muttered, and sighed. "Fine, give me your notebook Y/n." You slid it over to Wednesday with confusion painted on your face. "I would assume you know the alphabet." Wednesday quipped and you nodded, but still recited all the 26 letters mentally anyway for good measure.
The waiter came back over to their table and slid the Quad over ice to Wednesday and the fries to you and Thing, which you didn't know why he needed it since he didn't have a mouth, but whatever. Wednesday took a sip of her drink and before focusing back on you. "Y/n, you will need to speak if I am going to teach you efficiently." You nodded reluctantly, putting on a mock focused face.
[A few hours later]
"Um, 'The black raven flew over the.....har-rize-on?'" You furrowed your brow at the sentence written on the page in your notebook as well as many others. The sun was just starting to set, making the sky pink-ish, there were three empty fry baskets beside you, with Thing curled up besides them.
Wednesday nodded to confirm that you indeed said the word right and started to write another sentence. Who knew reading was so exhausting? So many new words and very hard words to pronounce, but you kept going, you actually like the new things you were learning from Wednesday.
When Wednesday was done writing the sentence she turned the notebook towards you for you to read. It took a while but you finally got and Wednesday immediately started on another. You bit back a huff and layed your head on the table with a small pout. Maybe you can ask Wednesday where Enid is, you haven't seen her since she left for classes.
As You raised your head to ask the question a person with a hood entering the Weathervane caught your attention. You froze when you saw it. The same pocket knife that the man had. Your wings seemed to have a mind of their own as they puffed up and trembled which unfortunately caught the attention of the hooded person. As they turned their head and revealed their face they also confirmed your worries. The man gave you a sinister smile and waved.
Wednesday noticed this and looked to where your mortified face stared. She raised a brow at the man as he noticed her too, his smile dropped a little. "He must've thought I was here alone." You shuttered at the thought. Your voice trembled as you started to talk in your usual whisper from the session you had with Wednesday. "W-Wednesday, we should go back to t-the school." You moved your wing to hide part of your face, moving your legs to your chest, hugging them.
Wednesday turned back to you, sliding the notebook towards you. "Who is that man to you, Y/n." You and the man were still looking at each other, before he started to play with his knife and making slicing motions with it, all still with the same smile. "That's the bad man." You answered and Wednesday's eyes were still on you so you continued to tell her. "All I remember is my parents talking to him and tell him I'm all his." You continued. As you talked it was as if the moments were happening right in front of you.
"T-then he took me away and tried to c-cut-" You didn't finish your sentence as a few tears fell, you didn't have to, Wednesday knew what you were going to say, so she suddenly got up and pulled out a few dollars and left them there on the table for the waiter. "Come on Y/n we should get back to Nevermore before dark." You nodded and grabbed your notebook and put the seemingly sleeping Thing on her head, and followed Wednesday out of the Weathervane the man's eyes following too.
You walked right beside Wednesday, practically skipping to keep up with her steps. "Y/n." Wednesday said walking a little slower so you can keep up with her. "Tell me all you can about your parents." You hesitated. "Were they abusive?" She asked still looking forward. When you didn't answer she clarified. "Meaning hitting you or making you feel like you aren't enough." You thought for a bit.
Yes. Yes your parents were horrible, they plucked out lots of your feathers and it hurt. They even broke your wing once or twice. They neglected you and a lot of other harmful things, mentally or physically. So you nodded, a little whimper coming out of your mouth. Wednesday nodded. "I see, do you know what your parents last name is? So I can know who they are?" You and Wednesday continued to walk, you guys now in the road in the forest leading to Nevermore.
Wednesday may have only met you days prior, but she was seething. What kind of parents do those things? She knows there are unfortunate children who have bad parents, but never heard of anything of this rate. To say she was angry was an understatement. You gulped at her angry face, but kept walking, the deep orange sky now turning to a dark blue as they kept walking.
They were now about half way to Nevermore when the sun finally sunk under the horizon, the only sounds were their footsteps, the Werewolves howling and the leaves rustling in the breeze. You were hugging the hoodie Enid got you from the cold. You fiddled with the hoodie strings as you gather the courage to finally ask Wednesday the question you've been wanting to ask all day.
"Where's Enid?" You whispered, looking back at the Addams. Wednesday looked down at you. "Did you not know," She started. "Enid is a werewolf, so she's out there," She pointed to the woods. "Most likely chasing around little animals." You giggled at the thought. "Like a big puppy?" Wednesday was glad it was dark so you wouldn't see the very small smile on her face. "Yes, like a puppy, she acts like one too don't you think?" You smile and nod.
[With Enid.]
Enid has already transformed and is chasing a group of bunnies with some other werewolves before she stops and looks around confused. "Why do I feel betrayed?" She shrugged before starting to chase a stray bunny, losing it as it goes into its bunny hole. Enid paws at it and whines. "Dang it!" Enid growled and pouted before going and started to rough house with another werewolf that 'challenged' her.
[With Y/n and Wednesday.]
You snickered then stopped and whispered. "Please don't tell her I said that." Wednesday looked forward. "I'll keep it to my grave." You suddenly stopped and looked around. You couldn't see well in the dark, but you were certain that someone else was there. Wednesday didn't say anything but looked around too. 'We should be quick, it is getting dark, and I have a feeling that, that man won't let a target go that easily."
You whimpered but followed her. Looking around wearily, flinching every time something moved or heard a stupid owl hoot in the distance. And you were pretty sure you saw the man looking at you through some bushes. Then a dart flew out from nowhere, landing on a tree behind you. You stopped and looked around, wings tense ready to fly away if needed. Wednesday looks around, eyes landing to a group of bushes. You looked over too but did't see anything but leaves. The night was quiet as you both were both frozen in your spots, watching the bush carefully .
Wednesday leaned down to you, Thing now awake and alert. "Y/n whatever you do don't fly, It will be easier for him to shoot," Wednesday muttered, and softly smoothed your wings down. This was the scariest thing you experienced, what if he shoots both of you? Maybe you can ask Enid for help! If you can find her, this forest is huge. You were about to ask Wednesday what to do when a voice called out.
"Look kid, just give me the outcast and you'll be on your merry way." The voice was gruff and low. Wednesday spoke loudly and took a step forward, now standing in front of you. "And why would I give her to a cowerd who won't even show himself?" She yelled out. "Because she's my end of the deal, now hand her over, or you'll have to face the consequences of getting in my way!"
Wednesday slowly raised her hands. "Go try to find Enid, no doubt he knows where Nevermore is if he hunts Outcast." She muttered, signing something to Thing as she spoke. He crawled off of your shoulder and towards the man. "Hurry up, kid!" Soon there was a grunt and a shot, but not from a dart gun this time. "Run! We shall go separate ways if you can not find Nevermore find Enid!" Wednesday muttered and ran towards the man.
You ran and as fast as you could, listening to the howls of the werewolves and going in that direction. "Hopefully Enid is this way." You silently prayed as you heard more gunshots.\
[With Enid.]
Enid heard gunshots and now is looking around wearily, trying to find where the source was. The gun shots sounded close, were people hunting at this time? A puff of smoke left her nose as she huffed and ran towards where the gunshots were. "This is going against what I usually do you're supposed to run away from danger not towards it." "Mhm, you are that one stupid girl who trips over nothing."
She grumbled but kept walking. Soon she made it to the scene and sniffed around but froze. Those were yours and Wednesday's scents. But there was also an unknown scent. Enid sniffed around more and your scents parted ways, which tore her. Should she follow you or Wednesday? Fuck it. She ran towards your direction. After she knew you were safe she would go after Wednesday.
You ran a long way, almost back to where she originally was. Soon she finally found you, your hair is messier than usual, wings flung out making you look quiet bigger than you actually are. Enid walk out towards you, and how high you jumped would be comical if not for the situation. You looked at her with wide eyes taking a small step towards her. "Enid?" You whispered. Wait, did you just speak? She nodded and leaned down, so now her muzzle was in front of your face. You reached your hand out and pet her snout.
"You should go find Wednesday and Thing, they are out there with that bad man." you whispered, backing away. "I'll stay here, Go!" Enid hesitantly looked behind her, but nonetheless trotted away. While you went to climb a tree nearby, sitting on a big branch while looking out for any sign of Wednesday or the bad man.
Meanwhile, Enid ran back to the road and sniffed out where Wednesday's scent trail went and followed it deeper into the woods. To say she was angry was an understatement. Why the hell were you and Wednesday out in the woods this late. And what did you mean by bad man? Ugh, why did the most beautiful girl in school have to be the most reckless? Why did she have to be so difficult!
Enid suddenly heard a shout. "Come on, kid just let me have her, you don't have to make this hard!" Enid then heard Wednesday grunt and say "Never." Enid self-consciously growled and leaped out from her spot in the bushes.
Enid saw a bald man with a beard in front of Wednesday, breathing heavily while holding a pocket knife, the side of his face was dripping blood, his left eye closed. He stopped what he was doing and looked behind himself, where Enid appeared. His eyes widens as he backed up, dropping his knife, Enid barked at him, lunged at him making him fall backwards.
Wednesday smirked and walked to be right beside Enid's head and pet the side of it, Enid leaning in to her touch despite being angry with her. "Now, why do you want Y/n?" The man grunted and got up. "She's my end of the deal, and one of these days I'm going to get my wings." He sneered then smirked and walked backwards. "You will slip up soon." And that was the last either of them heard of him before he disappeared in the wild-growth behind him.
Enid kept growling, while Wednesday stayed in her spot for a while. Making sure he is actually gone, before Enid moved away from Wednesday to go back to you, Wednesday walked over the pocket knife, picked it up and inspected it before turning around to follow Enid. Wednesday didn't really worry where you were right now since she trusted Enid lead you to a safe place before going to save help her.
They walked for a while in silence, a few grunts and huffs from Enid, sounding like she was muttering under her breath, but silent either way. Once Enid led Wednesday into a clearing she expected to see you sitting there waiting, but didn't see you. She kept silent anyway. Enid walked up into a tree, looked up and barked, letting you know it was her. In a flurry of movements you flew down and hugged her snout, and pet her face. Enid whined happily, and leaned into your touch, ignoring Wednesday who was standing there awkwardly.
From this, Wednesday could infer that Enid was indeed mad at her. Why? That Wednesday was sure she would find out soon. Wednesday took a step forward and began to speak. "We should go back soon, you will turn back soon." Wednesday muttered. You pulled away from Enid and walked towards her to follow. Enid watched, but stayed back, and she needed to go back to the spot she kept her extra clothes. So she got up and walked back into the deep undergrowth.
[Small time skip at Nevermore]
Wednesday was out on the balcony, reading Edger Allen Poe. The short Addams waiting for Enid to return. You had already fallen asleep on Enid's bed, all that excitement tired you out, and you flopped on the bed as soon as you entered the room. Wednesday softly groaned when she turned to think, the book long forgotten. She was debating if she should continue to search for your parents or leave them be and except defeat.
Wednesday was a psychopath , but she won't go as far as to give you back to parents who clearly abused you. And she could see as clear as death that you don't want to go back to them anytime soon or at all for that matter. The book in her hands closed shut, Wednesday furrowed her brows in thought.
The full moon illuminated everything around her, the colors on Enid's side of the window lighting up, like the said girl every time she smiled. Wednesday felt spiders in her stomach from the thought. "No, what am I thinking? This isn't normal.." She got up from her chair and looked at the trees from the balcony.
Just then a seething Enid slammed the door open, her hair slightly messy as she immediately spotted Wednesday on the balcony and stomped towards it. Enid slammed the door to the space with a snarl on her face. Wednesday didn't flinch at the noise, and turned to look at the werewolf with a raised brow, her arms crossing.
"You're going to wake up Y/n with all that noise." She gave a small smirk seeing that the comment made Enid growl, her face getting angrier, if that was possible. "Since when do you care for her well being?!" Enid whisper-shouted, walking closer to Wednesday. If looks can kill Wednesday would be more then six feet under.
"Oh come on Enid, You think I wanted to put her in danger? You're more of an imbecile if you do." Enid glared. "You know why am I surprised, you always put everyone in danger!' Wednesday stepped towards Enid, looking in her blue eyes almost getting lost in them. "It wasn't my fault, I was just doing what I said I would," Enid straightened her posture. "I took her to the Weathervane so I could help her with her reading.."
Wednesday explained what happened, all the details and Enid was furious. Abusive parents? A creepy guy hunting you down? All the information that she just learned was swirling around her head, causing a small headache to form. "What...what kind of..." Enid was breathing heavily, gripping the railing so hard Wednesday half expected it to break. "Why?" Enid whispered quietly, looking down.
"I don't know, but I do know one thing," Enid looked up, her eyes glossy. Wednesday turned to look back at your sleeping form through the window, your wings spread out, and an arm over a bunnie plushie. "I want to protect her with all I have." Wednesday looked back at Enid who nodded. "Me too."
"Then it's settled, she will be at one of our sides at all times, we can't leave her alone anymore." Enid smiled, and looked at the star filled sky. She swear she would protect you, from your parents, the man, and any other danger as if her life depended on it.
summary:
You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.
Shivering in the cold, hiding beneath the bleachers, you held your cigarette between trembling fingers. Crouched on your feet so you wouldn't have to sit in the snow, your legs were already going numb.
Taking a drag, you held back tears. She'd tried, she picked you, and you didn't want it. No, you did want it, but didn't believe it.
Your phone beeped. It'd been ringing and pinging since you left. Kylie and Mrs George were worried about you. You'd text them back soon enough, let them know you felt under the weather, and that you were home.
"You're so predictable, y'know," You startled so badly that you toppled into the snow.
"Fuck!" The burning bit of your cigarette fell onto your hand. "Ouch! Fuck!"
"Should be flattered or offended?" Regina—fuck, Regina—stood over you, hands on her hips. She was still in just the camp tee. You spied the hairs on her arms were prickling.
"What do you want?" You grouched, flicking your barren cigarette away.
"What did you think of the song?" She cocked out a hip and crossed her arms.
You got up, not wanting to crane your neck as you had this conversation. You brushed off the snow clinging to your clothes.
"Real pretty. I..." You could pay her a compliment. Casually. "I do like your singing voice."
"I know. You've told me. I also know you're not intellectually challenged, so..." She trailed off, eyebrows quirking and eyes scanning your face.
"Yeah," You sighed. "A song isn't gonna do it."
"Just wanted to make sure you got the message." She straightened her spine and uncrossed her arms, instead intertwining her fingers in front of her. She took a deep breath and spoke:
"I'm sorry. I don't know if... I'm sorry for back then. When I left you in middle school. I don't know if explaining why would help, because," She glanced up at you. "I don't want to make excuses. You were my friend, my best friend, and I should've done better. Done right by you."
You didn't know quite what to say.
"I'm also sorry for Thanksgiving. I'm sorry I freaked out like that. I felt..." She fiddled with her fingers. "Rejected, I guess, and I didn't know how to handle it. I should've handled it better, that's for sure."
You stood there, waiting to feel some relief or happiness or even anger. Anything.
"I know apologies aren't gonna be enough. I tried to prove to you with that song that..." She swallowed. "That you're more important to me than status. I don't need to wow everybody if I had you. I've changed."
She looked up at you, also waiting. Still nothing.
"Do you think you'd already be hugging me if whatever happened today hadn't happened?" She bit her lip. "I'll make them pay, y'know."
"I thought you'd changed." You parrotted her words back at her. Brain whirring to action, you digested that it hadn't been her. Or maybe she was bluffing.
"Not that much. Not enough to not do anything when somebody hurts you."
"I..." You examined her, brow furrowing. "I haven't told many people. Only you and Mrs George. Janis, too."
"You told Janis?" Indignant, Regina's voice rose and arms spread. She was getting cold you could tell, because she shivering intensely, teeth chattering if not for the clench of her jaw.
"It came up some time ago." Back when I was still defending you. "Solidarity, y'know."
"Okay, fine, but why do you assume they had to know? There's been buzz about your sexuality before, unprompted." Her eyes narrowed. "I would know. I took care of them."
You blinked. "What?"
"Obviously. You..." She looked away as if looking for a way to convey what she meant without speaking it. "I just didn't want that. For you."
Was she lying to you? Trying to manipulate you? What was her goal? You didn't trust yourself to believe this was all sincerity and the lack of foundation, the instability of your own conclusions, made you feel crazy.
You circled back, refusing to process Regina supposedly protecting you all this time. What did it mean? No, not now.
"Yeah, but why now? Isn't the timing a little too convenient?" You accused, looking at Regina closely for signs of guilt. "You had every reason, all the power, to fuck me over, Regina. I think it was you."
"What? No. Why would I do that? I just dedicated a song to you!" She sounded frantic. "I've kept you safe!"
"I don't know! Why would Gretchen shout that I was lesbian in the middle of their performance? How would she know unless somebody told her?" You ran your hands through your hair and turned away from her. "Maybe you wanted me to run back into your arms so you could pick up the broken pieces. The pieces you broke."
"I did not tell Gretchen. I don't know why she did that and I don't know why I expected a fucking Britney Spears song to change anything, but I fucking tried!" She took a step back, pausing for a moment. "I don't want to shout. Let's not shout."
"I- are you fucking kidding me? Are you actually fucking kidding? Things didn't go your way, I didn't respond like you wanted, and you don't want to shout. You don't control me, Regina, I have my own life, my own things, I don't need you!"
You inhaled the cold air until it burned in your lungs.
"Okay. Feel better now?"
You felt the blood rush to your head, painting you red and exploding out in a shout.
"Shut up! No! No, I don't feel better. I would've felt better if you ever fucking listened to me or talked to me. It doesn't even matter what happened back then, because, yeah, it hurt, but we were kids. I know why you did what you did and no, it wasn't right, but I get it. Now, though?" Your chest bubbled with hysterical laughter. "We're nearly adults, Regina. Why- why..." Why couldn't you treat me better? That, just less pathetic. "Why did you have to be such a bitch?"
"I get it, okay. You don't have to forgive me. We can just move on." Her voice trembled, from the cold and something else.
You clenched your fists so hard your hands shook, squeezed your eyes shut so tight you felt the tension in your forehead, and so badly wanted to throw a tantrum on the ground like a toddler. Your hands found your hair and tugged.
"I don't know! I don't know!" Your voice was beginning to sound more and more like a wail. "I want to move on, I've had enough of feeling like this but I don't- I love you but what am I supposed to do with that? I should- should just hate you- I don't know what to think."
You pulled, tugged, and felt some rip out of your scalp. The world was spinning around you, leaving you behind in the impossible pressure of space. Your skull was full to bursting, bees buzzing between your ears.
"Who was it?" You hiccuped and resented the hot tears painting streaks on your cheeks. "Why would they do that to me?" You were angry but so, so tired.
"Hey, J, stop that." Regina pulled at your hands, still knotted in your hair. You let her move you, all tuckered out from shouting. Your body shook.
"I'm tired... I wanna go home." Your eyes closed. Regina was still touching you. She had you by your forearms.
"Okay. I'll drive you." She whispered. You couldn't look at her. Shame was crawling down your spine, settling deeper with every passing second.
"With what? Didn't Mrs George drive you?" You slumped against the back of the bleachers. Regina followed, stayed close with her hands on your arms.
"I'll drive your car." She spoke softly. A part of you bristled, not standing to be patronized, but you didn't have the energy anymore.
For a moment, not a word was said. With tentative movements, Regina's hands trailed from your arms to your torso, slipping into your coat and around your back. Her head came to rest on your shoulder as she held you close. Your skin crawled at the contact, but reluctantly, as if your body was used to her, you sunk into her.
Your arms hung limply at your sides.
"Notice me," Your eyes fluttered open when she uttered the melody. "Take my hand,"
Her hands petted at your back, scratching lightly with her long nails.
"Why are we, strangers when, our love is strong?"
In the darkness of a wintery night, breath-creating wisps in the air, she sang and held you. It was impossible to ignore the poetic setting, the sappiness of the moment. Even so, you could appreciate it. A little.
"Why carry on without me?"
It was nowhere as good as she'd been on stage. The acoustics outside in the snow, below the bleachers were even worse than in the gym. But it was just for you, this time around.
You tried to hold your breath, tried to keep it in. Not now, not here. Not for her. Again.
"And every time I try to fly I fall without my wings," She lifted her head and you looked at her. She paused there. "You're the wings." With a little smile, she continued singing. All the while looking at you.
Your head felt too big, like somebody had blown it full of air. You'd float away if she wasn't holding you down.
"I feel so small. I guess I need you, baby," The backs of your eyes heated up, the tear ducts stinging, and you bowed your head. Your arms came around her and wound tight around her neck.
"And every time I see you in my dreams, I see your face. It's haunting me. I guess I need you, baby,"
You sobbed. You sobbed and sobbed, interrupting her song, and wept into her collar. You missed her. You wanted to be with her so badly. You didn't want any of this to happen. You wanted things to be easy. Why did this have to be so hard? This was all unfair.
You cried at the injustice, cried for the hurt she'd made you feel, for the pain you'd made her feel and the names you'd called her. You wept because there was little else you could do.
"I'm sorry. I- I don't know what to do." You tried to breathe in, but your breath kept wooshing out of you. Every single orifice in your face flowed with fluid and you felt thoroughly disgusting. You couldn't stop it.
"We'll figure it out." Regina's voice was soft and her face even softer through your blurry vision. All hazy, gentle shapes.
"I'm- I'm scared." You whimpered, holding onto her shoulders.
"I know." Her arms tightened, holding secure around your waist. "I know, baby, it's gonna be okay."
"I'm still angry with- with you."
"That's okay."
"I dunno if we can... Y'know."
"I don't care. I just want you."
"Woah," You laughed, still sounding a tad bit hysterical. "Deep."
"Shut up." You could tell from her voice that she was rolling her eyes. "I preferred it when you were shouting at me."
Your laughter mixed with a hiccup.
"I don't believe that." Your voice wobbled since you still weren't quite done crying, apparently. Mortifying.
"You shouldn't." She amended, burrowing deeper into your coat.
With her hands rubbing your back, your fronts pressed so close together, you calmed down pretty fast. Your eyes stung and your nose was blocked. You felt dried out, like all moisture had been sucked out of you.
You knew this already. Every time, you'd go back. Every time, she'd wriggle under your skin and find solace in your heart and you couldn't even resist. Not really, anyhow, not effectively.
You wanted to believe she'd be there to stay, this time around.
"Can we go soon?" She asked, noticing your weeping had mostly concluded.
"Ugh," You groaned, head falling to rest on hers. "You think the crowd's been let out yet?"
"No, there's a sock puppet play that lasts ages. I think it was Hamlet or something."
"Sock puppet Hamlet? Reg, I think we need to go back in."
"No, nope, not if I have your keys!" She felt around in your back pockets. You did usually keep them there, but they'd been digging into your ass when you were sitting in the gym. They were in your coat pockets instead.
"Woah, take me to dinner first, jeez," Just like that, her hands detached like your butt was stove-hot.
"Sorry," She muttered. The mood shifted, the lighthearted and familiar air turning awkward.
"It's all good." Was it? It didn't feel weird, there was nothing sexual about what she'd done, but you weren't sure how you could say that. You yourself weren't sure what your boundaries were. You weren't even sure if you wanted to be vulnerable like that now.
She looked up at you with a contemplative look on her face. You looked back, waiting for her to ask something. When she didn't you shrugged.
"Let's go to yours." She said and then waited for you to... Do something again. You nodded. "I'll order, uh... What do you feel like eating?"
"I can cook-"
"I want take out, Jorts, so we're getting take out, 'kay?"
You tried not to smile at that.
"Whatever you say." You patted her on the back. She hummed, satisfied.
"Let's do Chinese. Sound good?" You nodded along, eyes closing. "We sleep. In the morning, we'll go for a walk. We'll talk about serious stuff during or after the walk?"
"Do we gotta go for a walk?" You asked petulantly.
"Yes." She said and did not elaborate.
"Fine, I guess."
Notes:
A confrontation! At last! I couldn't keep the readers hanging for long, that would've just been cruel. I do have a nasty tendency to finish chapters with cliffhangers. Am I the drama? Noooo...
Btw, being transparent here, I named this fic "yard work" back when I was still thinking it was gonna be a one-shot, so (at least IMO) it doesn't really fit the series as a whole at this point. If I were to change it to, let's say, "everytime" would that be confusing or what? If the change were to happen it'd only be after this was completed, so no worries there. Just let me know y'all's thoughts!
Taglist will be posted separately! If you wish to be added on there, comment on that post :)
summary:
You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.
You told Mrs George (or was it Ms George now? Too soon?) that you'd drive yourself to the school. Under no circumstance did you want to sit in close quarters to Regina. Besides, you knew she'd have to be there significantly earlier because she was performing. If the thought of being near Regina made you uncomfortable, that of being in that building made your skin crawl.
Why you were even bothering to go was beyond you. You'd been made into a laughing stock, a subject for people to talk about and twist around for the rest of the break. There was no PR response you could concoct to fix this, because for one, there was no time, and secondly nobody would want to hear it.
Maybe this wouldn't ruin your entire fucking life. Maybe you'd get over it eventually. Maybe it would all turn out fine. But it didn't feel like that. You could understand Regina more now, could see more clearly what she'd been talking about when she went on that rant.
Thinking all your problems would dissolve once you were old enough was stupid. That could only be applied to something vain, like pimples and pit stains and body odour. But issues like Regina's, utter self-hatred weaponized against society and everybody around her, and yours, chronic doormat syndrome with a side of people pleaser, could not just resolve. One could not pray the gay away, could not sweep it all under the rug.
You looked at the chicken sandwich in your hand. Mrs George had made some for lunch earlier and you'd swung by after the grocery trip to get you one. Then, she'd driven back to yours, helped you pack it all away, and made a weekly meal plan with you while you ate. It'd been nice. And the chicken sandwich was divine.
Your tummy was already full, but you didn't want to stop eating. You almost never got to really stuff yourself. The feeling of it was luxurious, though painful.
You put off going for as long as you could. You left at just the last minute, cutting it dangerously close. Didn't bother changing your clothes or anything. A hoodie and jeans, your usual jacket and scarf. By the time you arrived on the scene, the parking lot was pretty much deserted. You hustled to the gym where the thing was set up and easily found Mrs George and Kylie.
"C'mon, it's- it's- it's almost starting!" Kylie hissed at you, patting the seat next to her.
"Okay okay!" You whisper shouted back, mustering a little excitement for the little girl's sake.
Most of the performances were utterly dull. To be fair, the talent show was also an opportunity to get extra credit for some classes. Several people from your Spanish class took the stage. There was poetry and a couple songs, all mediocre at best. A pair performed a salsa number, which was surprising on two accounts. One, they were both dudes and two, they were good.
After Damien's dramatic rendition of Christina Aguilera's Beautiful, it was time for The Plastics to take the stage. Karen, Gretchen, and Cady were slowly revealed by the curtain. Cady stood front and centre, Gretchen to her left and Karen to the right.
Unlike many of the other dance performances of the night, the highlight was certainly not the choreography. The wow factor was hinged on the simple fact that it was them, specifically these girls, in latex, borderline slutty Santa costumes doing a provocative dance. The audience was not thrilled, the adults' reactions ranging from mildly uncomfortable to downright scandalized, while the other high schoolers looked on in either lust or disappointment that the act was missing the thing that had made it interesting in the first place.
Regina George had been the main attraction. Without her, without her effortless stage presence making the dance seem interesting, it was actually pretty embarrassing.
You had to look away when they started doing stunts. Karen went to the floor on all fours crab walk style, while Gretchen positioned herself behind her, and Cady geared up to- you couldn't watch. Suddenly, the music cut out and a heavy thump accompanied by someone's breath wooshing out of their lungs echoed through the gymnasium.
Kylie covered her mouth in a valiant effort not to laugh. You bumped your shoulder into hers. She bumped back. Mrs George had gasped and almost surged out of her seat. A beat of silence. Then, like water rippling, laughter began to bubble out of people.
You still couldn't watch. You could hear heels clicking on stage, groaning, and some frantic whispering. Kylie had tears in her eyes and her whole body was shaking.
"What's happening?" You whispered to her.
"Cady... She... Belly flopped the stage." She managed to get out before bursting into giggles.
"What? Is she, like, okay?"
"She's getting up. The principle's getting on stage." Kylie reported while you kept your eyes firmly on your lap. "He's gonna say something, oh, Gretchen's taking the mic-"
You had to look up when you heard your full name being spoken into the microphone, but regretted it as soon as Gretchen finished the sentence:
"-is a lesbian!" Quiet. Again.
You looked down so fast your neck cracked. Through the tinnitus in your ears, you could vaguely hear the principal admonishing Gretchen, the murmurs in the hall, their heels clicking off stage.
Why was Gretchen of all people announcing your sexuality at the talent show? What did she have to do with any of this? Maybe Regina had put her up to it. It didn't seem planned, though. You thought that Regina and Gretchen weren't talking.
"What's a lesbian?" Kylie asked you, all innocence and wide eyes.
"Kylie, don't ask that, it's not appropriate." Mrs George said.
"Why? Is it a bad word?" She turned to her mother. You took deep breaths and clenched your fists. Unclench. Clench. Everything was going to be fine.
"No, but it's not good to accuse somebody like that." Mrs George tried to explain gently, but you could tell she was out of her depth.
"But what does it mean?"
"Kylie, I said don't-"
"It means a girl that likes girls." You cut in.
"Huh... So like how boys like girls, but a girl likes a girl?"
"Yeah."
"Oh. Okay."
You would've paid so much money for it to be that simple. Why you couldn't be afforded the benefit of the doubt that you weren't a pervert, riddled with disease, and out to get people? Why was it so unbelievable that you didn't want to change the world, you just wanted to get married someday? Why did kissing girls on the mouth make you a predator?
You suspected there were no real answers to those questions. Fear. Repression. The patriarchy. Religion. The wage gap. Whatever.
The show went on. You felt numb. Realistically, what could you even do? Stand up and shout that it wasn't true? That would only serve to put a name to a face. The next talents came and performed their mediocrity to the mildly interested crowd. There was a pretty good sleight-of-hand magician. Somebody had trained their cat to do tricks.
Eventually, it was Regina's turn to take the stage. You couldn't help but perk up when they announced her. Mrs George was out of her seat immediately, kneeling on the pathway to the stage with a video camera poised to film her daughter.
The curtains parted. She stood in the centre of the stage, mic stand in front of her. She smiled a little, eyes on her mom presumably.
Her hair was done in soft waves, framing her face so beautifully. Natural makeup kept light, a compromise between the bare face that you liked and the full beat she was into. She was wearing an old white tee shirt, the logo so faded you could barely make it out. That had been your shirt, you realized as you narrowed your eyes. You'd gotten it from summer camp, one that Regina hadn't been able to come with you to. After you came back she'd confiscated all the stuff you'd gotten there. Tee shirts, crafts projects, a whittled duck, braided cord. You'd always assumed she had thrown it all in the trash. On her wrist was a braided leather cord and a wood bead friendship bracelet. She had on Lee jeans that hugged her hips and thighs exquisitely. Those had been her mom's.
In her hands was the photo album. Everybody could read the front, Reggie & Jorts.
"Notice me... Take my hand..." She crooned into the mic as the soft melody of Briney Spears' Everytime began to play.
"Why are we strangers when our love is strong? Why carry on without me?"
You felt like you couldn't breathe.
"And every time I try to fly I fall without my wings," Her eyes scanned the crowd. You wondered if she was looking for you. "I feel so small, I guess I need you, baby,"
She found you. Your eyes met, hers clear and blue and somehow so sad, even as she glittered up on stage. Even with everybody's eyes on her, she was looking at you.
"And every time I see you in my dreams, I see your face," She sang so prettily, every note like a gentle caress, a soothing balm to your ears. You did so love to hear her sing.
"It's haunting me. I guess I need you, baby," Her eyes closed, like she couldn't focus on two things at once; looking at you and singing. She swayed gently with the rhythm, feeling the soft instrumental in her feet. Sneakers. Simple, white sneakers.
Her eyes opened again with the next lyrics. You tried not to overthink it, tried not to imagine things that weren't there, but maybe there was a glassiness to her eyes that hadn't been there before.
"I make-believe, that you are here. It's the only way that I see clear. What have I done? You seem to move on easy."
You swallowed, eyes closing. You weren't sure what to think. Was this her way of apologizing? Was she trying to make up for what'd been said? Hadn't she just earlier today made your life living hell?
You leaned your elbows onto your knees and cradled your face in your hands. What were you supposed to do now? She was singing to you. This was the ultimate show of sincerity, of vulnerability, but what were you meant to do with it all in your hands? Your chest tightened and your breaths shortened.
The song continued, you knew the lyrics by heart, but only once she sang the next part did you open your eyes again.
"I may have made it rain, please forgive me. My weakness caused you pain, and this song's my sorry,"
You understood. Cowardly as it may have been, Regina was apologizing to you. Though the references were obscure enough that most, if not all, people would not know who she was singing to, it was quite clear this was a song for somebody.
You rubbed at your throat. It felt constricted, like something was tightening around it.
You couldn't shake the feeling that it was too late. As much as you would've liked to weep in gratitude, be swept in the relief that she was taking you back, irreversible things had happened. None of this made sense. If she hadn't pulled the stunt today then who had? Had she told somebody? Had Janis told?
Regardless, you were an outcast. If not, then ridiculed. You were scared. You had become a target. You didn't think anybody at Northshore was capable of the atrocities you saw reported on the news, but nobody who'd become a victim did until it was too late.
As it was, it didn't matter whether or not you forgave Regina. It didn't matter if she forgave you.
"I guess I need you, baby," As the last line of the song carried throughout the gymnasium, and after the split second of stunned silence before people began cheering and clapping, you got up and left.
You'd smoke a cigarette and get out of here once and for all. Then, you'd drive home and call dad. You'd tell him everything, tell him you needed to switch schools and that you were gay and that you'd made a real mess of things.
You'd take what was given, reap what'd been sown, and forget all about this goddamned town.
Forget all about Regina George.
Notes:
Took a bit longer with this one. Sorry for the suspense! Here, have some more unresolved stuff! Also, I fucking love that song by Britney Spears. I've known Regina was gonna sing it for J since pretty much the beginning and finally, she did.
Taglist will be posted separately. If you want to be added to the list, please comment on that post! Thank you!
