Pairing: Baelor 'Breakspear' Targaryen x OFC (Jaehaera, daughter of Maekar)
Status: Ongoing
Summary
Princess Jaehaera Targaryen is the eldest child of Prince Maekar Targaryen, who could have been just another Targaryen princess marked as a footnote in the history of House Targaryen had she not wed her uncle, Baelor Breakspear.
Known as 'The only Man In Summerhall', Jaehaera becomes one of the most prominent women in Targaryen history, along with the good queen, the conqueror's wives and Rhaenyra the Cruel.
Tags: Targcest (Uncle-Niece), age gap, period-typical sexism, smut, asoiaf violence.
Tags: men being idiots, misogynistic conversations, past abuse.
Part I
You dared to hope after learning of Hyacinth's and Baelor's encounter for the first time in months. You've also been grinning nonstop.
The nursemaids told you that Baelor held Hyacinth like he had done it a million times before, gently holding her against his chest while humming her favourite lullaby and carefully placing her in the cot as if she were the frailest thing in the Realm. For you, it was your husband and Hyacinth's father rather than the Prince of the Realm.
You stand in front of your mirror in your room wearing your flimsy nightgown. A bump is beginning to appear as you enter your third month. You can feel your baby moving at night, and when you turn to face the other side of the bed and see it empty, you feel depressed all over again.Â
Baelor should be here to feel his child move in the same way as the previous ones. He should be here, speaking to your bump in a language you don't understand, picking names, and telling you how beautiful and radiant you have become while carrying his child.
You, the maester, and Maekar are the only ones who know about this child hidden beneath your heart, and you feel like you're going to burst if you keep this secret any longer.
"Do you feel safe in there, little one?" You spoke softly to your bump. "You have arrived at a very unfortunate time with what has happened to your father, but don't worry... everything will be all right in the end. If your father can cuddle your sister without remembering her, he will adore you. I have no doubt about it."
The next morning, Kiera rushed to your chambers. She told you that Baelor summoned Valarr and Maekar to the council chambers to discuss Hyacinth. You hurriedly dressed and dashed to the council room.
...
Baelor took a deep breath as he walked into the council room.
In the chambers it was him, Valarr and Maekar. Baelor needs his brother in these moments and to stop him from doing or saying something stupid.
âBrother.â
âFather.â
Valarr and Maekar said as he entered.
âApologies for keeping you both waiting.â Baelor sat down on the chair. âI need to work out what I wished to say⊠especially to you, Valarr.â
Valarr raised a brow and looked at him expectantly.
âI know, ValarrâŠâ He starts saying the words slowly. âAbout her.â
âHer?â Valarr asked.
âHyacinth. I know who she is.â
Valarrâs posture eased, while Maekarâs became tensed.
âYou know about the girl?â Maekar asked.
âYes, I saw her in the nursery two nights ago. Beautiful child.â
âShe is," Valarr agreed.
âI also met her mother previously."
Baelor said the name of the lady in the garden. Maekar looked down, his face blank and hard to read. Valarr looked relieved and happy. Perhaps the boy was content that he did not need to make their existence a secret anymore to his father.
âI understand why you have hidden them from meâŠâ
âI didn't want that father.â Valarr interrupted. âI wanted to tell you about them so as not to cause more confusion and more suffering, but they told me it could cause you distress, and in your mind mother was still alive...â
âI appreciate the care you have for my health, son.â Baelor interrupted this time. âBut I still find myself⊠disappointed.â
Maekar and Valarr shared a look.
Makear cleared his throat. âBrother, if I were in your position, I would be upset as well⊠to hide such an important thing from me⊠something that regards my children.â
âI know, brother," Baelor said. âItâs not every day your son forgets your teaching and his vows.â
Baelor looked at his son with eyes full of disappointment.Â
"What is the need for drama, brother?â Maekar scoffed. âLay off the boy; we all hid it from you. What vows were broken?
âThe vows he made to Lady Kiera in front of the Gods and men.â
âFather, I donât understand what you areâŠâ
âYour daughter and mistress," Baelor simplified.Â
Valarr looked at him with abject horror. His mouth opened and closed, but no words came out.
âWhile I understand why your daughter is here, what I donât understand is why your mistress must be here.â Baelor started. âIt is a shame to your wife, to your King, to your house, to me! I donât know what decision I made years ago when all of these came out, but Hyacinthâs mother remaining not to is not the wisest. We should find her a husband and sent herâŠâ
Baelor couldn't finish his sentence because he felt a sharp pain at the back of his head where his wound sat. It was so painful he couldn't breathe for a second. He gasped as he cradled the back of his head and noticed a shadow over him. He looked up and saw his brother standing over him glowering at him.
âBrotherâŠâ Baelor said, astonished at the realisation Maekar slapped him in the back of the head.Â
His brother, who has not left his side since they left Ashford. His brother, who would scold the maesters when Baelor hissed from the pain because of their harsh touches, has just hit him in the head, right on top of his healing wound.
âI didn't hit you that hard for you to become this stupid, Baelor!â Maekar shouted.
Baelor stood up from his chair. âDo pray tell me, brother, how have I become stupid?"
âYou have got it all wrong," Maekar hissed.
Valarr finally regained his voice, and in a broken whisper he said, "Hyacinth is not my daughter, and the lady is not my mistress. Sheâs my dearest friend.â
Baelor frowned. If Hyacinth is not Valarrâs daughter, why is that child the spitting image of Valarr and Matarys when they were that age? Why does she look like his mother?
âThen who is she?â Baelor asked.
If this is a horrible misunderstanding, he accepts it. He has accused his son of a sin he did not commit, and he accused an innocent woman of being something she is not. Heâll work hard to earn his sonâs forgiveness.
âHyacinth is my sister," Valarr answered.
Baelorâs eyes went wide, and he gripped his chair as his balance threatened to crumble.
âAnd the woman is your wife," Maekar continued. âIâll admit I never liked her, and you almost hacked at me when I disrespected her, but she is your wife.â
Baelor looked between Maekar and Valarr as another headache was erupting inside his cranium.
âI don't believe you.â
Maekar scoffed once again. âBrother, if you go down to flea bottom right now and ask any toothless illiterate rat down there who the handâs wife is, it is not Jenaâs name theyâre going to say but hers.â
Baelor hid his face against his hands and groaned. Suddenly, he felt something in him that he hasnât felt in years and that took years of discipline to control it. He felt anger. âWhy was this kept away from?!â
He has a wife and a daughter, and no one told him! Where were they hiding while they walked him around the Red Keep?
He remembered Hyacinthâs red face and her anguished wails. How she refused to eat because she missed her father. She missed Baelor. How long has his child been starving herself because he was not with her? How long has she been crying herself to sleep because she did not have his lullabies to put her to sleep?
And his wife?
She told him she had no husband. Did she say that because he did not recall her? Is that why she looked so sad that night? Because he did not remember her? Because he was not with her? Seven, forgive him!
What utter nonsense just came out of his mouth!
"Where are they?!â
He did not wait for any of them to answer because he was walking to the door. He abruptly opened it and almost collided with two people. He took a step back and looked at the two people, thinking they were guards or maybe two maids who were gathering gossip, but it was not that, and Baelor felt his heart sink into the floor.
It was Lady Kiera and his wife.
Lady Kiera looked at him in horror and disgust as she held on to his wife. His wife didn't look at him. He could only see her side profile. Her shoulders trembled and tears were running down her. Tears that he caused.
âMy ladyâŠâ Baelor tried to reach her.
The lady jumped back away from him and sobbed. âNo! No! No! Get away from me! Get away from my daughter, you monster!â
She released herself from Kieraâs grip and walked away. Kiera followed after her. Valarr came out, looked at his father with the same disappointment Baelor had looked at him with previously, and rushed after the two women.
âYou goddamn idiot.â Maekar said from inside the chamber.
Her cries echoed in the hallways.
...
What you thought was the end of a nightmare turned out to be the start for a new one.
You did not hide your tears and your sobs.
You held them back when you were sent away to another keep where they would reject you once again. You held them back when they would whisper behind your back that you were a whore that spread her legs to the Prince. You held them back when those same people looked at her with pity and prayed for a swift recovery for the prince.
They now have another reason to laugh at you.
Baelor Targaryen would rather believe that his son has forsaken his vows and sired a bastard than see you as his wife. He thought of you as the others think of you: a whore who spread her legs to garner Targaryen favour. A stain on the royal familyâs reputation. He thought of Hyacinth as a bastard and not a member of his family. His first thought was to send you away. Away fromâŠ
âHe wants to take her from me!â You sobbed into your pillow.
When they told you you had leave, you did with a defeated sigh because you had nothing and no one. Even if you didn't have your Baelor, you still had your Hyacinth. She was the last thing you had left.
What would Baelor do if he knew of the baby inside you? Would he tell the maester to take the infant away as soon as you had given birth? You put your hand against your belly as if they could rip your child apart from you any minute now.
"No," Valar said softly, rubbing your back. âThe King is not going to let it happen. Iâm not going to let it happen. I swear to you.â
Oh, Valarr! Sweet and soft Valarr, who was one of the first to welcome you when you married his father. How could Baelor think that his son would hurt his wife like that?
You hated him! You hated Baelor! You want him away from you!
You took a deep breath and sat on your bed. Kiera whipped away your tears gently.
The maids come and go inside your chambers, all of them looking at you with pity. Sooner or later the whole Keep will learn that Baelor Targaryen thinks his wife is a mistress and the princess a bastard.
You could no longer stay here.
âValarrâŠâ You called for your stepson with a hoarse voice. âCan you please get me a meeting with the King? I need to speak with him urgently.â
...
For the first time in his life, Baelor was lost.
This is something he cannot fix with diplomacy.
He has accused his wife of something she was not.Â
He has hurt her tremendously.
He has called his own child a bastard when she was made from a lawful union.
He tried to remember them.
He tried to make his mind remember his wife and daughter.
Does he even have the right to call them? After he disowned them so quickly.
Baelor looked over the letters between him and his wife. All the correspondence was hidden from him before returning to the capital. Maekar gave it to him. His brother looked regretful, a rare sight. He tells Baelor they all hid because they didn't want to make his condition worse. Baelor preferred to have had his health go worse than to do what he just did. He looked at the last letter he sent his wife before the trial happened. He promised to return to her. Her faithful husband returned to her as a cruel man.
He organised his letter from oldest to newest. He read them throughout the whole night. His wife had beautiful handwriting, and she explained things perfectly. She talks of their daughter and how her health is faring and what milestones she has reached. She speaks of his sons with the warmth of a mother. She speaks of household management like a seasoned lord.
When reading his own handwriting, Baelor can barely recognise himself. These are words that he would certainly use, but what he doesn't recognise is their content.
He sounds like a man madly in love. Every word is about his yearning for his wife, thinking of his wife and wishing to be beside her all the time. There were letters in which he wrote things he would never think he would write. Sentences that would even make the madames of the silk street blush.
He reads the letter that was written around the time Hyacinth was born. He writes about his daughter with so much love. He writes about his worry regarding his wifeâs recovery. He never thought of having another wife. He never thought of having children again. Valarr and Matarys had been enough.
The sun lightens his study. Itâs morning already.
Baelor decides to go to the nursery.
...
As Baelor walks to the nursery, he realises now why hyacinths have become such an important symbol in his life. He understands now why he had that handkerchief embroidered with the flower. He understands now why every time he goes to his study thereâs a fresh pot of them in his study every day. He understands now why thereâs a whole section of the garden full of them.
It was his wifeâs house sigil.
There was not much about his wifeâs house that he could find in the lineage books. The only notable members were a knight that various tournaments and she, a future queen. Naming a royal Princess after the sigil of her house was the closest thing his wife could do to honour her house.
Baelor was about to enter the nursery when the guard stationed next to the door stepped in front of him. He was surprised but quickly recovered.
âSer Hobart, please step aside.â He ordered with a firm tone.
âI cannot, your grace.â The guard stated. âI have express orders to not let you in.â
Baelor sighed.
He cannot blame her for doing that, but he just needs to see the baby for one minute.
âSer, I urge you to step aside," Baelor ordered again. âI respect you for complying with my wifeâs wishes, but I will not be barred from seeing Princess Hyacinth.â
âIt was not your wife who gave the order, my lord hand.â
Before Baelor could ask who gave the order, the door opened, and a new and even firmer voice joined the conversation.
âSo our Lord Hand finally remembers his wife and child! Such a shame it happened after he made a complete fool of himself, accused his son of something he didnât do and humiliated his wife.â
Baelor bowed his head. âFather.â He tried to peek inside the nursery, and he could see Hyacinth sitting on the rugs playing with her mother. The door closed just as Hyacinth looked over her shoulder and smiled when she saw him. He could hear her babbling from behind the door.
âDonât call me that right now. Iâm cross with you!âÂ
The king walked ahead. Baelor looked between him and the door of the nursery. Hyacinth was starting to sob. Baelor decided to follow the King.
âYour grace.â Baelor started as he reached his side. âWhat I have said was utter nonsense! A conclusion that I have shouldve thought of betterâŠâ
The King raised his hand, and Baelor stopped talking. He waited for the King to speak, but he remained silent as they walked through the corridors. They entered the garden where Baelor had met his wife for âthe first time'.
The King stopped in front of a purple hyacinth. He gently caressed the petals.
âFor years the council and I tried to find you a wife after Jenaâs death.â The King started. âWe brought forward every Lady of the Realm suitable for a Prince and you rejected every one of them. âI have two healthy sons, my king,' you said. âI have no need for another wife.â That was the end of the discussion.â
The King sat on the bench. Baelor stayed still, listening to his father.
âYears pass and suddenly you are⊠distracted. You arrived late to meetings, and even when you arrived early, you always seemed unfocused. Every time I asked what was on your mind, you always told me it was nothing.â The King chuckled. âNothing turned out to be a lady with no parents, an unremarkable house and barely a coin in her name. And you came to me asking my blessing to wed her. I thought you had gone mad!â
Baelor twirled the ring on his finger.
âI said no. It was too risky, and the Lords would never approve a low-born lady as their queen. But you fought me⊠Gods, you fought me. Thereâs a reason why your brothers always sent you first to negotiate for something as simple as getting a kitten. I objected to it. You fought it. I objected again. You fought me again. I relented and gave you my blessing. You came back a fortnight later with a bride who could barely look me in the eye. You have your motherâs Dornish stubbornness. Thank the gods sheâs not alive to see these.â
Baelor lowered his head in shame.
âAll though⊠I wished she were alive to see you after you wedded her.â The King, his tone now sombre. âYou smiled more. You weren't always locked in your study. You looked at ease. When Hyacinth was born, this place finally felt like a home once again.â
The King pauses as he thinks of his next words.
âI was a young man when my own father started to cast doubts about my parentage. Hyacinth is oblivious, but sheâll grow up and sheâll hear them. Even though thereâs no doubt in who her father is. There are still going to be those fools whoâll believe otherwise.â
Baelor closes his eyes. Shames runs through his body. He remembers his grandfatherâs horrendous remarks towards his father. He remembers how his father always kept his head high. His grandfather was a cruel man, and he has just become like him.
âFather⊠Your graceâŠâ Baelor breathed out and dropped to his knees. âPlease forgive me for my foolish words and assumptions. It was never my intention to hurt any of you.â
âStand up, son.â The King said. âIt is not my forgiveness you should ask for. Itâs your wife's, and I donât think you are going to get it sooner.â
âI will still fight for it nonetheless!â
âGo ahead but be patient.â The King advised. âIf she doesnât want you near her⊠If she doesn't want you near the child, respect that, even if that hurts your soul.â
âOf course,â Baelor accepted. âThank you, your grace.â He bowed his head and turned to leave.
"Baelor," The King called. âThereâs another thing.â
Baelor looked at his father.
âSheâs with child and she wishes to take sanctuary in Dragonstone.â
It felt like an invisible mace struck Baelor all over again.
...
You looked all over your belongings.
Years ago it was just two ugly gowns and a pair of shoes.
Now it was various gowns of various colours and fabrics, a multitude of shoes and jewellery that could feed a poor family for a year or two. Of course you are not going to bring everything to Dragonstone, only the essentials. You already packed Hyacinthâs belongings, and the boat was waiting for you two.
A maid comes in with her eyes uncertain just as you are folding a gown. âMy lady.â She mumbled. âThe Lord Hand is outside requesting your permission to come in.â
Your hands stilled.
Honestly, you felt like a coward running away from the capital, but for the first time in your life, you had control over where you wanted to go.
âLet him in and prepare Hyacinth," You said. âGirls, leave. I need to speak with the hand.â
Your back was turned as you continued folding your gowns. All the maids left, and he comes in but doesn't say anything. You both remained quiet as you continued to fold your gowns, but this quiet soon became too stifling. Out of frustration you threw a gown to the floor.
You turned around and looked at him.
He looked at you with a blank expression.
He hasn't said anything yet. He was letting you have the first word, so you broke the silence.
âYou were the first and only.â
Baelor looked at you confused. âPardon me, my lady.â
âI was a virgin when I came to the capital and remained so until my wedding night⊠our wedding night.â You explained.
âMy ladyâŠâ He started.
You laugh cruelly. âI didnât even want to marry you! I was just happy that I had someone looking at me. I was just happy someone like you found me interesting that you wanted my company. I wasn't looking for a husband. I wouldâve lived happily just being your friend.â
Baelor looked at you almost heartbroken, but you did not care. He broke you first.
âI didnât marry because I wanted to be Queen or have all the riches of the world. I married you because you promised me you would never leave my side. Because you said you love me. Because I loâŠâ Your voice broke. âBecause I loved you, and I love you still even after you said those horrendous things.â
You turned around, not wanting to cry in front of him. You are so sick of crying. He did not say anything. You were wiping away a tear when you heard a rushing movement behind you and something dropping to the floor. Before you could see what fell, hands grip your waist and turn you around. A face wedged deep into your stomach.
Baelor sobbed your name
âPlease! Please forgive me!â His tears soaked your dress. âI am a foolish man! A stupid man, but Iâll be better! Iâll be your husband! Iâll be Hyancinthâs father! Iâll love you again!â
You stare at him shocked. You never once saw Baelor cry. He was a steel wall that would never break. Now. In front of you he was crumbling like a sand castle. You became the steel wall in an instant.
âYour grace, get up⊠You are embarrassing yourself.â You calmly said.
Baelor doesnât get up. His grips get tighter. You grabbed his shoulders and pulled him up. He got up but did not pull away. His hands remained on your waist. Heâs taller than you, but heâs hunched over in a way that makes sure he doesn't tower over you. He laid his forehead against yours. His beautiful mismatched eyes were red-rimmed as he stared at you.
âI have to leave," You whispered. âThe ship is waiting. I have to get Hyacinth.â
Baelor shook his head. âNo.â
âI just want space...â You whispered, tears running down your cheeks. Baelor lifts his hand and places it on your cheek. Your body trembles as he gently wipes away a tear. You take a deep breath. âYou donât understand now⊠but for the first time in my life Iâm choosing where to go.â
Baelor moved the hand that was on your waist to your belly, to your bump. He touched it the same way when you carried Hyacinth. You chuckle a bit; the King must have told him.
He opens his mouth and you expect him to plead once again for you to remain. âWrite to me.â
You blinked at him.
âThey donât need to be long letters⊠I just need to know you are alright⊠that sheâs alright⊠our baby is alrightâŠâ
âI will.â You promised.
He sighed in relief.
âPlease forgive me, my love.â He said it one more time.
You closed your eyes. Your hands that have stayed on his shoulders move. They carefully go to the back of his head and lay on his wound. That goddamn wound that turned your world upside down. You lift your head, gently nudging your nose against his. You pressed your body closer to his and placed your lips against his. His body shuddered but he kissed you back nonetheless. You could taste your tears in the kiss.
The kiss started gently, but it soon grew into that roughness you recognised. Baelor pulled you even closer to him. You let yourself get lost in the kiss. You could pretend that everything was normal, just for today, but it has to come to an end.
You are the first to pull away. Baelor tried to chase your lips, but you grabbed his face and pulled him away.
âLet me go first."
And he let you go.
...
A/N: Oh Baelor, Baelor, Baelor... You fucked up big time, buddy!
My feelings towards Baelor's death and Jace's are the polar opposites of one another.
When Baelor died, I thought: "Bertie was amazing! He did wonderfully with only 15 minutes of screentime! I'm going to miss you, Baelor!"
When Jace died, I thought, "Fucking finally! And of course these idiots managed to screw it up! Where the hell are Aegon and Viserys?! Harry, you did the best you could! I hope you go with people who don't waste your talent! Fabien, you're probably next!"
It's going to be published maybe Sunday or Monday, but I want to give you guys this preview because I was dying of laughter as Baelor digged himself to a big hole.
Yep, wifey called the big guns, and it's personal for Daeron II.
For those who don't know, Daeron was accused by his own father of being an illegitimate love child of his brother Aemon.
This whole situation must have given him deja vu.
Hyacith is also the Kingâs youngest grandchild. He would purposely skip Council meetings just to spend time with her. So Baelor now has a very angry king AND grandpa on his hands!
It's going to be published maybe Sunday or Monday, but I want to give you guys this preview because I was dying of laughter as Baelor digged himself to a big hole.
Yep, wifey called the big guns, and it's personal for Daeron II.
For those who don't know, Daeron was accused by his own father of being an illegitimate love child of his brother Aemon.
This whole situation must have given him deja vu.
Hyacith is also the Kingâs youngest grandchild. He would purposely skip Council meetings just to spend time with her. So Baelor now has a very angry king AND grandpa on his hands!
Summary: Hyacinth flowers generally symbolise playfulness, joy, sincerity, and springtime. You thought everything was fine and that you didn't have to worry anymore. You just hoped your daughter would be spared.
Word Count: 7,416 words
Tags: angst, miscommunication, fluff, mentions of child neglect, mention of classist attitudes towards the reader.
My dearest Prince,
It has been two days since you departed, and in those two days our Princess Hyacith has let the whole keep know her displeasure at the fact you are not there to sing her lullabies and tuck her in for her nap. Her sweet little face goes red from how much she cries, and her gaze is fixed on the door, waiting for your arrival.
Do not worry; she does not cry all the time. She enjoys the company of her big brother, who takes her out to the gardens to play, and her Grandsire, who purposely skips meetings with the small council and goes straight to the nursery. Your father tried to sing the same high valyrian lullabies you sang her, but she does not find the Kingâs singing abilities enjoyable and fusses when he starts a song. Iâve managed to make her fall asleep by wrapping your shirts around her.
Our little girl is not the only one who misses you.
I just donât have the luxury of screaming about it like Hyacith.
I miss you so much, my love.
I wake up, and the first thing i do is reach for you, and I get confused when i only feel the cold and unmade sheets. Your pillow is slowly losing your scent.
Come back to me as soon as you can. Give my love to Valarr, Kiera, Maekar and his boys.
Your loving wife.
...
My Darling Wife
Every day away from you and our children is torture if I dare be dramatic.
It breaks my heart to know how distressed our little princess is.Â
My Poor Little Hyacith, too small to understand the world but wise enough to know when something is missing.
The same way she looks at the door, waiting for my arrival, I find myself humming her favourite lullaby when deep in thought, thinking that her cradle is next to me and iâm lulling her to sleep. You have to forgive me, my lady, but before I left I stole your handkerchief, the one with hyacinths embroidered on it. It carries your scent, my love, and unfortunately, just like my pillow, yours is slowly fading away.
I too reach for your warmth when I wake up first thing in the morning, but I only have a cold side of the bed and the sounds of horses and garrisons as the reminder of the miles between us. Donât count the days until you see me again, my love. Iâll be there before you realise it.
Your faithful husband, Baelor.
...
When the letters and trinkets stopped arriving, you did not get worried.
Your Baelor is a busy man. He could be far away from his study in the Red Keep, but heâll still find a way to bury himself in matters of the realm. In the meantime, you spent your days taking care of your daughter, overseeing your stepson studying and looking after household matters.
The horrible news arrives when you are strolling through the gardens with the King. Ever since you married Baelor, youâve become quite close to the King, a daughter he never had. A guard runs to the gardens, shouting for the King.
The Guard stopped in front of them, sweating and breathing rapidly.
âWe have received a letter from Prince Maekar bearing urgent newsâŠâ
You did not know what to expect. A Blackfyre conspiracy. How you wished that were the cause. The Guard hands over Maekarâs letter, and the King quickly reads it over. He wouldâve collapsed to the ground if he had not grabbed hold of you. You caught him and let him support your body against yours.
âYour grace!â You shouted.
The king was pallid, and his gaze was blank. He called your name and told you to get Mtarys. It was about his father. It was about Baelor. You guided the King to the guard and ran as fast as you could to the training yard where Matarys was.
When you find your stepson, you bring him to the gardens where the King remained. The King is sitting on the bench, crumpling the letter that had caused so much distress.
The King looks at Matarys with solemn eyes. He stands up. âMy boy, before you panic, I need you to know your father is alright. He has been injured.â Yours and Matarysâ breaths hitched. âBut he is alright. Your Uncle Maekar has assured me, and they are coming back.â
The King tells you, and Matarys tells you, that Baelor got injured after joining the side of a Hedge Knight during a trial of seven. Baelor fought bravely. Baelor was struck by his own brother's mace. Baelor lay asleep for two weeks with Maesters who did not know if he would live or die.
The Gods smiled at Baelor.
He woke up.
The King looked at you as he continued speaking. âThe Maesters say a lot of things can happen to a man when he's struck hard in the head. Baelor woke up asking for Jena.â
...
Baelor arrives inside a wheelhouse, a contrast to the way he departed a month and a half ago.
A month and a half ago, he stood in the Keepâs entrance bidding his goodbye to you, Hyacinth and Matarys. He ruffled Matarysâ hair and told him to behave. He gave Hyacinth a cuddle and kissed her cheeks. He puts your daughter back into your arms and kisses you gently. You still remember how much his gaze was full of love and adoration towards you, towards his family.
As he rode his horse out of the gates, he looked over his shoulder where you still remained with Hyacith in your arms and Matarys by your side. You grabbed Hyacithâs arm and waved at him. He smiled and waved back.
Baelor Breakspear returned to the capital a different man. Well, not different. He returns as a man he hasn't been in years. He returns as Prince Baelor, husband of Lady Jena Dondarrion and father of Prince Valarr and Prince Matarys. You and your daughter may as well not exist.
You met Baelor one year after Lady Jenaâs death. Baelor didn't intend to have a second wife, and you didn't intend to fall in love with him. Youâre an orphan who comes from a House whose sigil and motto nobody could tell even if their lives depended on it. Only Baelor could answer it.Â
When he asked your House name you felt embarrassed because you stood in front of the greatest man in the Realm and you come from nothing extraordinary. You mumbled your full name, and without wasting a beat, he asked if you were related to a knight. You recognised the knight he named, your great-grand sire. You were shocked that he would remember such a thing. He wasn't a remarkable knight; he just had few tournament wins under his name, and that was it.Â
On that day you felt seen, and that was the start of everything.
It wasnât a hot, passionate love affair.
It was built slowly over the years like a well-tended fire.
You were Lady Kieraâs lady-in-waiting.
You didnât see Baelor every day.Â
You were busy attending the Young Princeâs wife.Â
He was busy being the Hand.
When you crossed paths, you would bow to him, and he would nod at you.
It was a practice dance between the two of you, but as time went on, the dance started to shift patterns, like the invisible minstrels had changed the tune of their instruments.Â
When you and Baelor crossed paths, you both slowed your paces as if to make the moment last longer. You would hold eye contact longer than it is appropriate for either of your statuses. You would walk forward, and when looking over your shoulder, he would be staring right back at you. It was you who made the audacious step of turning this dance into something more.
âItâs just a beautiful day today.â You said.
He almost looked stunned by your comment, but he then smiled and agreed with you. Then Baelor did his own audacious step; he asked if you wanted to take a stroll with him in the gardens. You accepted.
The wheelhouse stops in front of the awaiting group. Prince Maekar, who was riding his horse alongside, quickly jumped off the animal before a stable boy even arrived. He rushed to the Wheelhouse and opened its door. Lady Kiera is the first to come off and then Prince Valarr. The Young Prince lifts his hand to the inside, and a big but thin hand grabs it. Maekar approaches and lets the last person inside lean on his body.
The sight in front of you almost makes you want to faint, and Matarys grabbed your hand.
Baelor looked too thin and frail. His clothes looked baggy, and his face was sunken. His head was bandaged, and you could see a faint spot of red.
The King is the one to go to him first.
Baelor tries to stand straight in front of his father and king.
âMy King,â He mumbled as if speaking was the hardest task he could perform. âPlease give me time to recover and I shall attend to my dutiesâŠâ
The King didn't let him finish. He walked to Baelor and pulled him into his arms.
Daeron Targaryen stripped his title and crown and held his firstborn, whom he almost lost. Baelor wrapped his arm around his father and rested his head against his shoulder. Maekar, who was holding Baelor upright, looked down in shame and was about to step away when Daeron grabbed him and brought him to his hold as well.
It was a heartbreaking sight.
âMatarys.â You called for your stepson lightly. âGo to your father.â
Matarys reluctantly lets go of your hand.
He approached shyly and stopped behind the King.
âFather.â He called out.
Baelor lifted his head and fixed his gaze at his youngest son.
Baelorâs mismatched eyes studied the boy in front of him; they go wide when it dawns on him who the boy is. Matarys was only eight years old when Jena died. He was now twelve. He carefully frees himself from his father's and brotherâs grip, and with uncoordinated steps, he moves forward.
Baelor takes another step forward and loses his balance, dropping to his knees right in front of Matarys. Maekar rushes to his brotherâs side. He was about to lift him, but Baelor raised his hand. He grabbed his youngest son and pulled him to his arms just like his father did a few moments ago. Matarys broke down and cried in his fatherâs arms.
"Shh...shh," He hummened. âWhen did you get so big, my boy?â Baelor asked as he patted his sonâs arms and back.
A tear slips down your face, and you quickly wipe it away. It gave you hope. If he remembered his son with one glance. He may remember you as well.
The Maesters start to surround Baelor, ready to see the extent of his wound and see how truly bad it is. Baelor reluctantly lets go of Matarys and allows Maekar to get him up from the ground and escort him inside.
They walk to the entrance where you stood. Your body goes rigid. Should you call for him? Should you hold his arm? Should you introduce yourself?
You looked directly at Baelor, and he looked back at you.
You waited for that glimpse of recognition, but it did not arrive.
Baelor politely nodded at you. âMy lady.â
You stayed there astonished.
You could almost laugh. Thatâs Baelor, alright. The man could have a limb hanging by a thread, but he would still slow down and greet the person in front of him just because he couldn't forget his good manners.
Maekar didn't look at you. His gaze was forward.
Coward! You think bitterly. Your brother would've looked me in the eyes!
Kiera walks to you and hugs you. You break down in her arms.
...
Maesters surrounded him and prodded his head.
They gave him Milk of the poppy, which made his senses go dull. He was in and out of consciousness. There was so much he wanted to ask and do. How was the realm? How were his sons? How was his fatherâs health? Where was Jena buried?
The maesters disperse, and heâs no longer being touched. His eyes were closed, but he could hear everything around him. He could hear them whispering among themselves about the side effects of his wound and how they could bring back some of his memories without causing emotional and mental distress.
He hears light footsteps coming inside the chamber.
âHe just fell asleep.â He hears Maekar say. âYou shouldn't be here.â His brother doesn't say it with a malicious tone, but Baelor nonetheless wishes to scold his brother. This person was a guest, a friend of his who wanted to check on his well-being.
He tried to open his eyes, but his lids were heavy.Â
The person doesn't respond to Maekar, nor do they obey him. In fact, they step closer to Baelor. Now Baelor wished he could see who this person was that was so bold to defy his brother.
The steps are light. A Lady, perhaps?
The bed dips as someone sits beside him. and his hand is held. It was a lady indeed. The hand was soft and warm. A contrast to his rough and cold skin. The lady rubs his hand delicately, warming him up.Â
The lady remains silent, but he could hear her sniff and a hitch in her breath as she held back a sob. He wanted to tell the lady to not waste tears on a fool like him. He tried to squeeze her hand, but his fingers still felt like wood.
No one speaks.
He could feel her gaze on him. Her hand grazed his knuckles slowly.
Another sound of footsteps appears along with the sound of clanking. A guard.
âMy lady?â He calls.
The lady speaks for the first time. âYes?â
Her voice is soft and gentle, just like her touch.
âPrince Valarr requests your presence.â
The lady pauses in her gestures, and Baelor mourns her touch. She sighs and carefully lays Baelorâs hand on the wool blanket.
He waits for her to get up and leave. She moves not away from him but towards him. She leans in, and Baelor could smell citrus fruits and oranges â a far cry from the medicine and incense that surround him. She presses her lips against his temple, and Baelor feels his heart skip a beat.
She gets up and starts to walk away, but Baelor wanted her to stay. He moved his head, and finally he managed to open his eyes, but his vision was blurry. He could only see the tail end of the Ladyâs blue gown.
The Maester suggests you and Hyacith keep a respectful distance from Baelor so as not to create more mental distress for him.
...
You are to be a stranger to your own husband.
Who are you now?
You have no idea.
Are you still a wife even if your husband doesn't remember you?
Is your daughter a princess even if her father doesn't remember her conception?
You lie on your bed. The same bed you shared with your husband a few months ago with your daughter sleeping peacefully right beside you. You envy her. She doesn't know one of her favourite people in the world doesn't recall her existence. He doesnât remember her laugh, her smile, how much he prayed for her and the love that he had for her. He doesn't remember how happy he was when she was born. A man who thought he would never hold another small child of his blood, especially a daughter.
âForgive me, my lady, but I never thought I would feel so much love for a woman until you presented this blessing to my life.â He told you when he held her for the first time.
She doesn't know her father doesn't remember her mother.
He doesnât remember the days where polite conversations turn into something deeper and meaningful. The days when you sought each other's eyes from across the room. The day he asked you to be his wife. The day you made oaths to one another in front of the Gods and men. The days of getting to know each other's bodies.
Baelor lies on a bed, not knowing on the other side of the Keep there are two people who have become important to him. He doesn't know thereâs a possibility you carry his fourth child.
You haven't told anyone. You haven't sought a maester or midwife to confirm it, but you knew. You knew your body. The lack of blood wasn't your only clue. Your breasts were tender, and when Hyacith would squeal, screech or whimper, you would feel a tug on them. You felt nauseous. You craved oranges, the same cravings you had in your first pregnancy. You wanted to tell Baelor in your letters but decided you wanted to surprise him. You regret that choice now.
If you had told him your suspicions, would he have still joined the fight? Maybe he still would. He joined a fight knowing he had two small children waiting for him, and he still went ahead.
Seven! How you wished to whack him on the head as well!
...
âAnd this is Aemon the Dragonknight! My great-great-uncle! My brother was named after him. When Queen Naerys, my great-grandmother, was accused of adultery, he demanded her accuser fight him in a trial by combat and won!â
âOhâŠâ
You smiled as you watched Aegon escort the Hedge Knight around the Keep, and you smiled at the Hedge Knight, who was amazed at everything around him.
Hyacinthâs shrieks announce your presence in the corridor.
Aegon turned around and smiled when he spotted you and his cousin.
âAuntie!â He ran towards you.
The Hedge Knight lowered his gaze as he followed his young squire.
âHello, Hyacinth!â He greeted her, grabbing her little hand.
âHello, Egg.â You greeted him in return and looked at the Tall knight in front of you. âWill you introduce me to your friend?â
Egg smiled. âAunt, this is Ser Duncan the Tall.â
The Knight stood straighter when you gazed at him, and his cheeks turned red.
âMy lady.â He respectfully bowed his head.
âSer Duncan the Tall this is my cousin, Princess Hyacith of House Targaryen and my auntâŠâ
Ser Duncan the Tallâs eyes go wider when Egg tells your name and your relationship to the royal. He began to speak, but his words were incoherent, and they did not make any sense. Then he dropped to his knees in front of you.
âMy lady⊠Please forgive me for all that has happened!â He started rambling. âIt was never my intention to drag the Hand into this mess! It was never my intention to cause this much harm to your family!â
âAnd what was your intention, Ser Duncan?â You asked.
Ser duncan lifts his head and looks with his sincere blue eyes. âTo protect the innocent, my lady. As every knight should.â
You sighed.
âEgg.â You said. âWould you and Ser Duncan like to take a stroll with Hyacith and me?"
Aegon and Hyacith walk ahead of you and Ser Duncan.
Aegon holds Hyacinth's hands and teaches her how to walk.
âAnother foot forward... another foot forward.â
Ser Duncan breaks the silence. âShe looks like him.â
You nodded. âShe does.â You nodded. âI was in labour two nights and one day, and she came out the spitting image of her father and brother.â
Ser Duncan smiled.
âAnd she has the audacity to prefer her father over me. The one who gave her life and fed from my very own breast.â
Ser Duncan let himself chuckle.
"Have you talked to him?â You ask, not needing to clarify who.
âI have, mâlady.â He answers. âHis grace recovers well and has been able to walk well with the assistance of a cane.â
âDoes he remember you?â
âNo.â He shook his head. âBut he does tell me that he would gladly let me join his kingsguard and serve him.â
âDo you plan on accepting it?â
âIâll be honest with you, my lady. I don't know..." He continues. âI am grateful for the offer. It is something a Hedge Knight strives for his whole life butâŠâ
âBut?â You encouraged him.
âI don't feel ready to give up that life yet. Especially with Egg as my squire.â He explains. âHeâs a good lad. A pain in my side⊠but a good lad. He could do so much better outside of places like these.â
You nodded. âI think youâre correct, Ser Duncan.â
âYour husband said the same thing. Even told Prince Maekar that he should reconsider it.â
That makes you pause.Â
Your husband.Â
Nobody has said that since Baelorâs return. As if the reminder were a dirty memory that shouldn't be evoked. As if that would cause him to break into pieces.
âI know itâs not the same, but I have lived that âHedge Knightâ life before.â You told him. âI came from a House that wasn't worthy enough to be remembered in the lineage books. I couldnât tell people which side they fought during the Dance of Dragons or the Blackfyre rebellion. My parents died when I was young, and I have been shipped off to every corner of the realm to various relatives. I learnt rather quickly to never get used to any keep I arrived at because I would be sent away before I could learn the names of the servants. I arrived in Kingâs Landing with one last favour and two ugly gowns in my name.â
Ser Duncan listened to you attentively.
âI don't know what you heard of me, Ser, but there are those who think I slithered my way into Baelorâs bed and seduced him into marrying me.â
Ser Duncan shook his head and stammered an apology and told you he would never believe such tales regarding your honour.
You laughed.
âOh⊠How I wish I could tell these noblemen it was the other way around. He seduced me! I didnât realise he actually wanted me for a wife until he took me to Dragonstone and knelt before me. A Prince knelt before me and asked me to be his wife! Do you know what I said?â
Ser Duncan blinked. âYes?â
âYour Grace, get up! You are embarrassing yourself!â You said using the same shrieking voice you did years ago. âAnd he did not get up. He told me he would stay like that until I said yes. And I just⊠kept denying him! I tried to get him up from the ground, but he would not budge.â
You smile as you remember that day.
âNo matter what objections I threw at him, he would fight back. âThe King would never approve,' I said. 'The King already knows and has given us his blessing,' he said. âYour sons would not want a replacement for their mother,' I argued. âMy son helped me choose the ring,' he argued back. âThe court would never accept me,' I tried once again to bring him to reason. âThe court would have to fight me if they disapprove of our union,' he said, still kneeling on the ground and holding the ring.â
âWhat made you say âyesâ?â
You twisted your engagement ring. âI made him promise to never leave my side and ship me off to whatever corner of this realm. If he promises me that I will say âyesâ.â
You wish to cry, but you will not cry. Not when itâs such a beautiful day.
âHe will remember you, my lady. I am sure of it!â Ser Duncan reassured you.
âI hope so, Ser," You say. âBecause who am I without my Baelor? I came from nothing and belonged to nothing, but Baelor never let me feel like I didnât belong next to him. " You look at your daughter. âAt least for my daughterâs sake, the Gods will guide him back to us.â
Hyacinth guided her cousin to you and Ser Duncan. She stopped in front of the tall knight and looked at him like she was studying him. She is definitely her fatherâs daughter. She pulled her hand from Aegon and grabbed Ser Duncanâs leg pant. Ser Duncan stood still like a statue, and he had a look of sheer panic on his face, as if it were a dangerous animal clinging to him and not a small child.
Hyacinth made a squealing noise and tried to climb Ser Duncanâs leg.
âIt seems like the Princess wishes to know how you view the world, Ser Duncan.â You said humourously.
âYou should do as your Princess asks, Ser," Aegon said, sharing your amusement.Â
Ser Duncan took a deep breath, rubbed his palms against his pants, crouched down and lifted the princess. He held her at arm's length away from his body. His breath hitched when Hyacith let out a screech.
âShe prefers being held closer, Ser Duncan.â You gently pushed your daughter into Ser Duncanâs chest, and you could've sworn he stopped breathing.
Ser Duncan looked at Hyacith, who was looking back at him, and cleared his throat. âhum.. Evening, Princess.â
The little girl babbled in response.
You smiled, but you couldn't help the feeling like someone was staring at you. You turned around and saw a person retreating, but you could recognise that silver head from anywhere.
âSer Duncan, Egg. I will be right back.â You said, not giving time to hear their answers as you went inside.
You catch Maekar just as he is going up the stairs.
âHow is it that a Hedge Knight and your nine-year-old son have more guts to look me in the eyes than you, brother?â You asked, saying the last part rather sarcastically.
Maekar goes stiff and turns around, staring at you with a scowl. Years ago that look frightened you, but now it held no power over you.
âI would like to remind you, girl.â He hissed. âThat you are speaking to a Prince of the Realm.â
âAnd I would like to remind you, your grace.â You said with your chin high. âThat Iâm still Princess of Dragonstone and your future Queen even if your brother doesn't remember me. Iâm still a member of this family until the King says otherwise."
Maekar has never been warm with you. Heâs only polite because you are his brotherâs wife. Because the King likes you. He shares the same opinion the court has towards you: too unfit and unworthy to be the heirâs wife.
Maekar huffs and goes down the stairs. âYou left your daughter with that oaf?â
âSer Duncan is a good man. My husband saw that, so I trust him, and besides, heâs with your son, and you let him be your squire.â
âYou trust him after he caused all of this.â
âYes.â You said, feeling ready to defend Ser Duncanâs honour. âAfter all, it was not him who called for a trial of Seven. It was not him who swung the mace.â
Something flickered in Maekarâs eyes. Hurt? You did not know and you did not care. Baelor remembers him, and Maekar gets to see him every day. You haven't been able to talk to your husband and could only rely on the accounts from your stepsons, Kiera and the maesters about his well-being.
âIf I could undo what happenâŠâ He started.
âSpare me your sorrows, Maekar," You cut in. âI will only forgive when he remembers me. When my daughter stops crying herself to sleep because she heard her fatherâs voice and he did not come to her. When the baby inside of meâŠâ You stopped when Maekarâs eyes went wide and he looked at your belly.
You turned around and walked away from him.
You owed him no explanation.
You owed him nothing.
You come back to Ser Duncan, still holding Hyacinth and asking Egg if sheâs still breathing because she has gone quiet. Hyacinth was happily sucking on her fist.
...
Baelor doesn't like to be idle. He doesn't like to remain still. He also doesn't like to be coddled. He understands an injury like this needs to be taken care of properly, but he feels like heâs going to forget all his manners if another person asks if heâs alright.
Itâs nighttime, and half of the Keep is asleep. Usually at this hour Baelor would be hunched over his desk and looking over his ledgers, but heâs not doing anything, and he hates that. He has probably counted every stitch and every flower in the canopy above him.
The wound has healed well, and he no longer needs bandages. He still gets headaches and has a persistent itch on his wound.
He lets out grunts when he sits on the bed. With deep breaths he grabs his cane and gets up from the bed. He walks out, ignoring the guard stationed at his door.
âA small walk, Ser.â He said, waving his hand when the knight started walking behind him. âI will be back before you know it.â
Baelor wished to know how much had changed in four years, and the cloak of the knight was perfect for it. There were no Lords and Ladies asking for his well-being and saying heâs in their prayers. Itâs more quiet.Â
He heard a babe the other day when he was strolling through the garden with Valarr. That was odd; there werenât a lot of babies in the Keep. The noble ladies usually leave them with nursemaids in their husbands' castles. He didnât get to see the babe, but he did hear the poor thing cry.
Not much has changed; the walls and the banners were the same, but the gardens looked different. There was a section that was full of hyacinths of various colours and an orange tree. It was beautiful and well taken care of. He wonders whose idea was it to plant them. There was also a bench in there; maybe he should sit there and rest for a bit.
When he arrives at the garden and hears a woman humming. He wonders if his brotherâs hit was strong enough to make him see the ghosts of the keep.
 He rounds the corner, and he sees a Lady sitting on the bench. He doesn't recognise her. Sheâs quite pretty. Her expression was calm and serene. In her hands was a handkerchief with peeled orange slices. The moon shone on her beautifully. He tried to look for clues of her house with her clothes, but she wore a plain white nightgown and a dark robe.
Why is there Lady alone in the gardens in the middle of the night? He wondered.
Should he join her? Or should he let her be in her own peace?
Before he could decide, a wave of nausea hit him, making his body brush against the leaves of the bushes.
The lady stopped humming.
...
"Who's there?!â You shouted when you heard something rustling in the bushes and the sound of a man groaning. âShow yourself before I scream for the guards!â
You get up from the bench and try to see between the gaps who this person is.
You hear a cane tapping against the stone floor path, and a person clad in a dark robe appears. Your heart skips a beat when you see Baelor coming out.
âForgive me, my lady.â He starts. âIt was never my intention to frighten you.â
âBae⊠your grace.â You collect yourself and bow before him. âIâm happy to see you recovering well. Are you here by yourself?â
âYes. I appreciate everyone has made sure I'm comfortable, but I needed time for myself.â
You look down at the orange peels in your handkerchief because you fear if you look at him, youâll say something you shouldnât. âThen Iâll let you be, my prince.â
You turn around, but he speaks. âWait.â You look over your shoulder.
âPlease don't let my presence disturb you, and I hope itâs not too much to ask; could you join me? "
How long have you waited for his invitation? It made you feel like the first months you knew one another when you didn't know how to act around him.
You nodded and sat on the bench again. He joins you soon after, groaning as he plops down the hard bench. Maybe you should ask a servant to bring a cushion for him.
You remained silent and so did he.
The silence did not feel tense. It felt familiar. Like the days you got to know each other, where you used each other's presence and didn't need words to pass time. You simply relished being together.
âThe song you were humming.â Baelor said, gently breaking the silence. âI recognised it. A High Valyrian song about a daughter asking her father to collect a star for her; he tells her heâll ride his dragon as high as he can and collect all of them for her. And when he does, the daughter gets sad because the sky is no longer shining, so the father puts her in his dragon, and they put the stars back in the sky.â
âYes.â You confirm. "Unfortunately I don't know how to sing the words; I just know the rhythm.â
âWhere did you hear it from?â
The truthful answer would be. âYou sang to our daughter ever since she was in my womb. You were so sure it was girl just by the way she kicked against your hand.â
âI heard it from a volantis singer that was passing by.â You said. âItâs my daughterâs favourite song. I hummed it to her when putting her in her cradle."
The more truthful answer would be. âShe doesn't like it when anyone else but you sings it. She once placed her hand in the Kingâs mouth to shut him up.â
âHow old is your daughter?â
âA year old.â
âWhatâs her name?â
âHyacinth.â
Baelor looked around the garden at the various hyacinths surrounding you and him and chuckled.
âA beautiful name.â
You named her, you thought bitterly. âThank you.â
Baelor shocked his head. âForgive me, my lady. I just realised I haven't asked your name.â
You answer him.
âDoes your husband know youâre here alone?â
âI don't have a husband.â You say it almost bitterly.
It might as well be the truth. Your husband is sitting right next to you like a stranger.
Baelor noticed the tension in your body. âThe hour is getting quite late, my lady.â He gets up from the bench and extends his hand towards you. âAllow me to escort you to your chambers.â
You accept his hand and you feel your whole body shivering when you feel Baelorâs skin. âThank you, your grace.â You reluctantly pull your hand away. âBut I have to refuse; my chambers are from yours, and I don't wish for you to exhaust yourself.â
âIt would be no trouble.â He tried to argue.
âPlease, my prince," You pleaded, exhausted yourself. âI wish to be alone.â
He nodded and stepped aside.Â
âI would like to thank you, my lady.â You looked at him confused. âIt felt nice to have a conversation with someone that didn't involve my injury or matters of the realm.â
âYouâre welcome, my prine.â
You bowed and left the garden, and you could feel Baelorâs eyes on you as he watched you disappear from his view. You put your hand in your belly as you feel a small flutter. As if a feather were caressing your skin.
When you were far away from him, the guards, or any living soul, you stopped and collapsed to your knees and started crying.Â
You tried to be strong. For your daughter. For your baby. But when Baelor gazed at you and the warmth and love weren't there, it was painful and heartbreaking. You felt like you were a little girl again being told to pack her things because she was leaving. Because sheâs not wanted. You thought you would never feel like that. That Baelor would not let you feel like that ever again. He promised! you know itâs not his fault. That your Baelor would rather forfeit his crown than let you or Hyacith feel like that. A burden.
...
Baelor canât help but feel like something is missing. Not just his memories but also someone.
At first he thought it was Jena he was missing. It wasn't a love match, but they had respect for one another, and he felt genuinely sad to hear of her death. She was not only his sonsâ mother. She was his friend and someone he felt he could rely on when his time came to be King.
When he woke up, his hand, without thinking, went to his side of the bed, expecting to feel another body. He and Jena slept in separate chambers. When he looks to his side, he expects someone to be there, but thereâs only an empty space.
He also hears the sound of a babe crying. When heâs in his study, he swears he hears a child crying. He would step into the corridor, but he would see nothing. He asked the guards if they heard a child, and they told him ânoâ. Baelor thinks heâs losing his mind. When he finds a small doll in his drawer and he smells the faint scent of baby powder, he knows that this child is real.
...
Baelor is on another nightly stroll when he hears once again the sound of a child crying, and this time he knows heâs not imagining it when he hears another voice speaking to the babe.
He follows the sound, and heâs surprised to find himself in the royal nursery where he and his brothers spent the first years of their lives. This section is reserved only for the children of the royal family.Â
He looks through the gap of the door and sees a small child, a girl, sitting on top of a rug surrounded by pillows. The child was crying almost hysterically. A young nursemaid stood next to her holding a bowl of porridge. She tried to give the baby a spoonful, but the baby turned her head stubbornly and continued to wail. The young nursemaid looked worried sick for the child in her care.
âShould we call the maester?â
An older nursemaid sighed. Baelor recognised she's the same one who took care of his sons. âDon't bother. She'll cry herself to exhaustion very soon.â
The Young nurse maid put the bowl down. âI feel so horrible for her.â The nursemaid wipes a tear from her. âPoor little Hyacinth."
Hyacinth?
The daughter of the lady in the garden.Â
âPoor little Hyacinth, indeed.â The older nursemaid repeated. âI recognise that cry. I have taken care of children for almost twenty years and recognised the meaning of every cry they let out. This one is âI miss my fatherâ cry.â
Hyacinth sniffed, agreeing with the nurse maid's conclusion. The girl turned her head and made direct eye contact with Baelor.
Hyacinth stops crying and her body goes stiff. Then she let out a happy shriek. The girl got up and walked towards him. Baelor took a step inside the nursery just as she collided against his leg.
âYour grace!â The nurse maids quickly bowed.
Baelor was more focused on the child in front, who clung to his trousers like it was a lifeline.
He crouched down and picked her up. He hoped his body would not betray him, not while he was holding something so frail.
âHyacinth.â He called her softly.Â
Hyacinth smiled, revealing two teeth on her upper gums, and buried her face in his neck.
Baelor was shocked that the child who was crying hysterically a while ago had calmed down as soon as she saw him.
âWhose child does she belong to?â
One of the nurse maids stammered the name of the lady in the garden, just like he suspected, but there's no mention of a father.
He was about to ask about him when the child pulled her face away from him and pointed at the bowl of porridge while babbling.Â
The nursemaid that tried to feed her let out a relieved sigh and quickly picked the bowl. She put the spoon in front of her mouth, but to the dismay of everyone in the room, she turned her face away.
âMay I?â Baelor asks, lifting his hand.
The nursemaid passed him the spoon, and he put it in front of the child's mouth. The baby girl chased the spoon and ate the porridge. She opened her mouth wanting more. Baelor scooped another bit of the porridge and repeated the process.
Baelor hummed at her.
âCan I⊠can I have a moment alone with her?â
âOf course, we'll be in the room right next to you.â
The nursemaids left, and it was just him and her.
Baelor sat himself and Hyacinth on the rug and continued to feed her. She happily took every spoon without hesitation. Once in a while she would stop and smile at him. And Baelor couldnât help but smile back at her.
When there's nothing left, he gets out his handkerchief and wipes the remaining porridge stuck to her mouth. The handkerchief has hyacinths embroidered on it. He found it inside his pockets when departing Ashford.Â
He takes a closer look at the child.
He couldn't help but think she looked familiar.Â
She has mismatched eyes like him and Valarr. Her hair was jet black, curled in a way that reminded him of his mother's hair.
Hyacinth got up and walked to him. She placed her hands on his shoulder and looked at him expectantly.Â
âWhat is it that you want, little lady?âÂ
She huffed.
Then Baelor remembered what the lady in the garden said about her daughter.Â
He started singing quietly.Â
Hyacinth relaxed and laid her head on his shoulder. Baelor put his hand on her back and laid her on his lap. She was so small. He continued to sing. He liked this song. When he was a tiny lad, the maesters would give him and his brothers songs to translate. This one became his favourite. He liked the story behind it, the love a father had for his child that he flew higher and picked all the stars in the sky for his daughter.
Hyacinth was sleeping peacefully.
Baelor carefully laid her in the cot and looked at her, not knowing how to feel. His mind was reaching an horrendous conclusion.Â
...
âAnd he stayed?â
âFor a bit, my lady.â The nurse maid explained. âAfter he tucked her in and called us back inside, he left but not before telling us to call for him if little Hyacinth needed a Prince to feed her porridge again.â
The nursemaids laughed, and you laughed as well. You could cry from happiness.Â
You looked at your daughter, who was in your arms munching on her doll. She looked well rested and happy.Â
âAnd you took your first steps, my little princess?â You laughed. âOf course the first person you would walk to was your papa.âÂ
You brought her closer to you. You could smell Baelor on her. The familiar scents of ink and parchment.Â
âMy cheeky little girl. Maybe it's you who is going to bring him back to us.â
...
Baelor paced back in and forward in his study.
A headache was going through his head worse than the others.
He did not know how to feel. Anger? Disappointment? Disgust? All of it?
Why did he do it?
How could've he done it?
Where did he fail?
Baelor thought Valarr better than this!
He was a small child when the BlackfyreÂ
Valarr was a young child when the Blackfyre Rebellion happened but old enough to remember the reason for why his father was fighting.Â
So, why did he sire a bastard?Â
And why are you here walking around the castle like you belong to House Targaryen?
Baelor understands Valarrâs need for wanting his daughter nearby, but his mistress?Â
Has he gone mad?Â
Why would he do this to his wife?Â
Does he go to her chambers in the middle of the night and sneak into her bed?
Baelor takes a deep breath and asks the guard to get his son.
I see a lot of people pitying Valarr, and rightfully so, Baelor accused him of cheating on his wife and having a child out of wedlock.
But just a reminder, Wifey was accused of seducing Baelor and being a social climber when, in reality, she was hesitant on accepting Baelorâs proposal.
Imagine how heartbroken she'll be when not only her husband thinks their daughter is a bastard, he thinks of her as a mistress, and that she should be invisible and away from her daughter.
As I'm outlining the part II of 'Hyacinth' I kept thinking:
Baelor waking up having no memories of his second wife would probably still be polite to her. His logic would be "She's my wife; even if I don't remember, she still deserves my respect."
And then my mind turned to Maekar being the one with amnesia. How would he treat his second wife when he has no memories of her?
My mind thinks he would be an absolute jerk towards her. Like, he wouldn't want to be around her! His heart and soul are loyal to Dyanna only. I imagine he would scold one of his children if he heard them call her 'mother'. And if they had a child... oof... I don't know if he would neglect them or tolerate their presence.
Edit: Now I've been thinking about Valarr, Duncan and Lyonel if they too had amnesia. Same scenario as 'Hyacith'
For Valarr I picture Kiera dying in childbirth (Sorry Girl!) and he has to wed so that he can have his own heirs. I imagine he would be shocked with the fact he managed to have a living child, and he would cherish that child even though he doesn't remember their conception or birth. With his treatment of the second wife, I imagine it would be the same as his father's. "She's my wife and the mother of my child. I will respect her."
For Lyonel... this man will have a laugh about it and would probably make crude comments to his wife. "So... my dear wife! Can you refresh my memory by telling me how we conceived this child? And I don't know if you know, but I'm a visual learner."
... and then turn into a neglectful husband and father. In this scenario he has been a bachelor for most of his life until he got married in his mid 30s'. So there are moments where he borderline almost cheats on his wife. He tries to bond with the child, but it's more of a
"Do you like beer?"
"My Lord, they're four!"
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do with them?!"
For Ser Duncan... red-faced 24/7 and poor Egg has the same questions all over again.
"I'm married?"
"Yes, Ser."
"To that beautiful lady?"
"Yes, Ser."
"And she likes me?"
"No, Ser. She loves you."
"And the child is ours?"
"Yes, Ser."
Ser Duncan can't wrap his mind around the fact he made a child when he can barely talk to the opposite sex without making a fool of himself. He blushes when he realises you saw him naked and he saw you naked. I think this would be the most wholesome scenario because it would be Ser Duncan falling in love with you all over again and trying to court you.
Summary: Hyacinth flowers generally symbolise playfulness, joy, sincerity, and springtime. You thought everything was fine and that you didn't have to worry anymore. You just hoped your daughter would be spared.
Word Count: 7,416 words
Tags: angst, miscommunication, fluff, mentions of child neglect, mention of classist attitudes towards the reader.
My dearest Prince,
It has been two days since you departed, and in those two days our Princess Hyacith has let the whole keep know her displeasure at the fact you are not there to sing her lullabies and tuck her in for her nap. Her sweet little face goes red from how much she cries, and her gaze is fixed on the door, waiting for your arrival.
Do not worry; she does not cry all the time. She enjoys the company of her big brother, who takes her out to the gardens to play, and her Grandsire, who purposely skips meetings with the small council and goes straight to the nursery. Your father tried to sing the same high valyrian lullabies you sang her, but she does not find the Kingâs singing abilities enjoyable and fusses when he starts a song. Iâve managed to make her fall asleep by wrapping your shirts around her.
Our little girl is not the only one who misses you.
I just donât have the luxury of screaming about it like Hyacith.
I miss you so much, my love.
I wake up, and the first thing i do is reach for you, and I get confused when i only feel the cold and unmade sheets. Your pillow is slowly losing your scent.
Come back to me as soon as you can. Give my love to Valarr, Kiera, Maekar and his boys.
Your loving wife.
...
My Darling Wife
Every day away from you and our children is torture if I dare be dramatic.
It breaks my heart to know how distressed our little princess is.Â
My Poor Little Hyacith, too small to understand the world but wise enough to know when something is missing.
The same way she looks at the door, waiting for my arrival, I find myself humming her favourite lullaby when deep in thought, thinking that her cradle is next to me and iâm lulling her to sleep. You have to forgive me, my lady, but before I left I stole your handkerchief, the one with hyacinths embroidered on it. It carries your scent, my love, and unfortunately, just like my pillow, yours is slowly fading away.
I too reach for your warmth when I wake up first thing in the morning, but I only have a cold side of the bed and the sounds of horses and garrisons as the reminder of the miles between us. Donât count the days until you see me again, my love. Iâll be there before you realise it.
Your faithful husband, Baelor.
...
When the letters and trinkets stopped arriving, you did not get worried.
Your Baelor is a busy man. He could be far away from his study in the Red Keep, but heâll still find a way to bury himself in matters of the realm. In the meantime, you spent your days taking care of your daughter, overseeing your stepson studying and looking after household matters.
The horrible news arrives when you are strolling through the gardens with the King. Ever since you married Baelor, youâve become quite close to the King, a daughter he never had. A guard runs to the gardens, shouting for the King.
The Guard stopped in front of them, sweating and breathing rapidly.
âWe have received a letter from Prince Maekar bearing urgent newsâŠâ
You did not know what to expect. A Blackfyre conspiracy. How you wished that were the cause. The Guard hands over Maekarâs letter, and the King quickly reads it over. He wouldâve collapsed to the ground if he had not grabbed hold of you. You caught him and let him support your body against yours.
âYour grace!â You shouted.
The king was pallid, and his gaze was blank. He called your name and told you to get Mtarys. It was about his father. It was about Baelor. You guided the King to the guard and ran as fast as you could to the training yard where Matarys was.
When you find your stepson, you bring him to the gardens where the King remained. The King is sitting on the bench, crumpling the letter that had caused so much distress.
The King looks at Matarys with solemn eyes. He stands up. âMy boy, before you panic, I need you to know your father is alright. He has been injured.â Yours and Matarysâ breaths hitched. âBut he is alright. Your Uncle Maekar has assured me, and they are coming back.â
The King tells you, and Matarys tells you, that Baelor got injured after joining the side of a Hedge Knight during a trial of seven. Baelor fought bravely. Baelor was struck by his own brother's mace. Baelor lay asleep for two weeks with Maesters who did not know if he would live or die.
The Gods smiled at Baelor.
He woke up.
The King looked at you as he continued speaking. âThe Maesters say a lot of things can happen to a man when he's struck hard in the head. Baelor woke up asking for Jena.â
...
Baelor arrives inside a wheelhouse, a contrast to the way he departed a month and a half ago.
A month and a half ago, he stood in the Keepâs entrance bidding his goodbye to you, Hyacinth and Matarys. He ruffled Matarysâ hair and told him to behave. He gave Hyacinth a cuddle and kissed her cheeks. He puts your daughter back into your arms and kisses you gently. You still remember how much his gaze was full of love and adoration towards you, towards his family.
As he rode his horse out of the gates, he looked over his shoulder where you still remained with Hyacith in your arms and Matarys by your side. You grabbed Hyacithâs arm and waved at him. He smiled and waved back.
Baelor Breakspear returned to the capital a different man. Well, not different. He returns as a man he hasn't been in years. He returns as Prince Baelor, husband of Lady Jena Dondarrion and father of Prince Valarr and Prince Matarys. You and your daughter may as well not exist.
You met Baelor one year after Lady Jenaâs death. Baelor didn't intend to have a second wife, and you didn't intend to fall in love with him. Youâre an orphan who comes from a House whose sigil and motto nobody could tell even if their lives depended on it. Only Baelor could answer it.Â
When he asked your House name you felt embarrassed because you stood in front of the greatest man in the Realm and you come from nothing extraordinary. You mumbled your full name, and without wasting a beat, he asked if you were related to a knight. You recognised the knight he named, your great-grand sire. You were shocked that he would remember such a thing. He wasn't a remarkable knight; he just had few tournament wins under his name, and that was it.Â
On that day you felt seen, and that was the start of everything.
It wasnât a hot, passionate love affair.
It was built slowly over the years like a well-tended fire.
You were Lady Kieraâs lady-in-waiting.
You didnât see Baelor every day.Â
You were busy attending the Young Princeâs wife.Â
He was busy being the Hand.
When you crossed paths, you would bow to him, and he would nod at you.
It was a practice dance between the two of you, but as time went on, the dance started to shift patterns, like the invisible minstrels had changed the tune of their instruments.Â
When you and Baelor crossed paths, you both slowed your paces as if to make the moment last longer. You would hold eye contact longer than it is appropriate for either of your statuses. You would walk forward, and when looking over your shoulder, he would be staring right back at you. It was you who made the audacious step of turning this dance into something more.
âItâs just a beautiful day today.â You said.
He almost looked stunned by your comment, but he then smiled and agreed with you. Then Baelor did his own audacious step; he asked if you wanted to take a stroll with him in the gardens. You accepted.
The wheelhouse stops in front of the awaiting group. Prince Maekar, who was riding his horse alongside, quickly jumped off the animal before a stable boy even arrived. He rushed to the Wheelhouse and opened its door. Lady Kiera is the first to come off and then Prince Valarr. The Young Prince lifts his hand to the inside, and a big but thin hand grabs it. Maekar approaches and lets the last person inside lean on his body.
The sight in front of you almost makes you want to faint, and Matarys grabbed your hand.
Baelor looked too thin and frail. His clothes looked baggy, and his face was sunken. His head was bandaged, and you could see a faint spot of red.
The King is the one to go to him first.
Baelor tries to stand straight in front of his father and king.
âMy King,â He mumbled as if speaking was the hardest task he could perform. âPlease give me time to recover and I shall attend to my dutiesâŠâ
The King didn't let him finish. He walked to Baelor and pulled him into his arms.
Daeron Targaryen stripped his title and crown and held his firstborn, whom he almost lost. Baelor wrapped his arm around his father and rested his head against his shoulder. Maekar, who was holding Baelor upright, looked down in shame and was about to step away when Daeron grabbed him and brought him to his hold as well.
It was a heartbreaking sight.
âMatarys.â You called for your stepson lightly. âGo to your father.â
Matarys reluctantly lets go of your hand.
He approached shyly and stopped behind the King.
âFather.â He called out.
Baelor lifted his head and fixed his gaze at his youngest son.
Baelorâs mismatched eyes studied the boy in front of him; they go wide when it dawns on him who the boy is. Matarys was only eight years old when Jena died. He was now twelve. He carefully frees himself from his father's and brotherâs grip, and with uncoordinated steps, he moves forward.
Baelor takes another step forward and loses his balance, dropping to his knees right in front of Matarys. Maekar rushes to his brotherâs side. He was about to lift him, but Baelor raised his hand. He grabbed his youngest son and pulled him to his arms just like his father did a few moments ago. Matarys broke down and cried in his fatherâs arms.
"Shh...shh," He hummened. âWhen did you get so big, my boy?â Baelor asked as he patted his sonâs arms and back.
A tear slips down your face, and you quickly wipe it away. It gave you hope. If he remembered his son with one glance. He may remember you as well.
The Maesters start to surround Baelor, ready to see the extent of his wound and see how truly bad it is. Baelor reluctantly lets go of Matarys and allows Maekar to get him up from the ground and escort him inside.
They walk to the entrance where you stood. Your body goes rigid. Should you call for him? Should you hold his arm? Should you introduce yourself?
You looked directly at Baelor, and he looked back at you.
You waited for that glimpse of recognition, but it did not arrive.
Baelor politely nodded at you. âMy lady.â
You stayed there astonished.
You could almost laugh. Thatâs Baelor, alright. The man could have a limb hanging by a thread, but he would still slow down and greet the person in front of him just because he couldn't forget his good manners.
Maekar didn't look at you. His gaze was forward.
Coward! You think bitterly. Your brother would've looked me in the eyes!
Kiera walks to you and hugs you. You break down in her arms.
...
Maesters surrounded him and prodded his head.
They gave him Milk of the poppy, which made his senses go dull. He was in and out of consciousness. There was so much he wanted to ask and do. How was the realm? How were his sons? How was his fatherâs health? Where was Jena buried?
The maesters disperse, and heâs no longer being touched. His eyes were closed, but he could hear everything around him. He could hear them whispering among themselves about the side effects of his wound and how they could bring back some of his memories without causing emotional and mental distress.
He hears light footsteps coming inside the chamber.
âHe just fell asleep.â He hears Maekar say. âYou shouldn't be here.â His brother doesn't say it with a malicious tone, but Baelor nonetheless wishes to scold his brother. This person was a guest, a friend of his who wanted to check on his well-being.
He tried to open his eyes, but his lids were heavy.Â
The person doesn't respond to Maekar, nor do they obey him. In fact, they step closer to Baelor. Now Baelor wished he could see who this person was that was so bold to defy his brother.
The steps are light. A Lady, perhaps?
The bed dips as someone sits beside him. and his hand is held. It was a lady indeed. The hand was soft and warm. A contrast to his rough and cold skin. The lady rubs his hand delicately, warming him up.Â
The lady remains silent, but he could hear her sniff and a hitch in her breath as she held back a sob. He wanted to tell the lady to not waste tears on a fool like him. He tried to squeeze her hand, but his fingers still felt like wood.
No one speaks.
He could feel her gaze on him. Her hand grazed his knuckles slowly.
Another sound of footsteps appears along with the sound of clanking. A guard.
âMy lady?â He calls.
The lady speaks for the first time. âYes?â
Her voice is soft and gentle, just like her touch.
âPrince Valarr requests your presence.â
The lady pauses in her gestures, and Baelor mourns her touch. She sighs and carefully lays Baelorâs hand on the wool blanket.
He waits for her to get up and leave. She moves not away from him but towards him. She leans in, and Baelor could smell citrus fruits and oranges â a far cry from the medicine and incense that surround him. She presses her lips against his temple, and Baelor feels his heart skip a beat.
She gets up and starts to walk away, but Baelor wanted her to stay. He moved his head, and finally he managed to open his eyes, but his vision was blurry. He could only see the tail end of the Ladyâs blue gown.
The Maester suggests you and Hyacith keep a respectful distance from Baelor so as not to create more mental distress for him.
...
You are to be a stranger to your own husband.
Who are you now?
You have no idea.
Are you still a wife even if your husband doesn't remember you?
Is your daughter a princess even if her father doesn't remember her conception?
You lie on your bed. The same bed you shared with your husband a few months ago with your daughter sleeping peacefully right beside you. You envy her. She doesn't know one of her favourite people in the world doesn't recall her existence. He doesnât remember her laugh, her smile, how much he prayed for her and the love that he had for her. He doesn't remember how happy he was when she was born. A man who thought he would never hold another small child of his blood, especially a daughter.
âForgive me, my lady, but I never thought I would feel so much love for a woman until you presented this blessing to my life.â He told you when he held her for the first time.
She doesn't know her father doesn't remember her mother.
He doesnât remember the days where polite conversations turn into something deeper and meaningful. The days when you sought each other's eyes from across the room. The day he asked you to be his wife. The day you made oaths to one another in front of the Gods and men. The days of getting to know each other's bodies.
Baelor lies on a bed, not knowing on the other side of the Keep there are two people who have become important to him. He doesn't know thereâs a possibility you carry his fourth child.
You haven't told anyone. You haven't sought a maester or midwife to confirm it, but you knew. You knew your body. The lack of blood wasn't your only clue. Your breasts were tender, and when Hyacith would squeal, screech or whimper, you would feel a tug on them. You felt nauseous. You craved oranges, the same cravings you had in your first pregnancy. You wanted to tell Baelor in your letters but decided you wanted to surprise him. You regret that choice now.
If you had told him your suspicions, would he have still joined the fight? Maybe he still would. He joined a fight knowing he had two small children waiting for him, and he still went ahead.
Seven! How you wished to whack him on the head as well!
...
âAnd this is Aemon the Dragonknight! My great-great-uncle! My brother was named after him. When Queen Naerys, my great-grandmother, was accused of adultery, he demanded her accuser fight him in a trial by combat and won!â
âOhâŠâ
You smiled as you watched Aegon escort the Hedge Knight around the Keep, and you smiled at the Hedge Knight, who was amazed at everything around him.
Hyacinthâs shrieks announce your presence in the corridor.
Aegon turned around and smiled when he spotted you and his cousin.
âAuntie!â He ran towards you.
The Hedge Knight lowered his gaze as he followed his young squire.
âHello, Hyacinth!â He greeted her, grabbing her little hand.
âHello, Egg.â You greeted him in return and looked at the Tall knight in front of you. âWill you introduce me to your friend?â
Egg smiled. âAunt, this is Ser Duncan the Tall.â
The Knight stood straighter when you gazed at him, and his cheeks turned red.
âMy lady.â He respectfully bowed his head.
âSer Duncan the Tall this is my cousin, Princess Hyacith of House Targaryen and my auntâŠâ
Ser Duncan the Tallâs eyes go wider when Egg tells your name and your relationship to the royal. He began to speak, but his words were incoherent, and they did not make any sense. Then he dropped to his knees in front of you.
âMy lady⊠Please forgive me for all that has happened!â He started rambling. âIt was never my intention to drag the Hand into this mess! It was never my intention to cause this much harm to your family!â
âAnd what was your intention, Ser Duncan?â You asked.
Ser duncan lifts his head and looks with his sincere blue eyes. âTo protect the innocent, my lady. As every knight should.â
You sighed.
âEgg.â You said. âWould you and Ser Duncan like to take a stroll with Hyacith and me?"
Aegon and Hyacith walk ahead of you and Ser Duncan.
Aegon holds Hyacinth's hands and teaches her how to walk.
âAnother foot forward... another foot forward.â
Ser Duncan breaks the silence. âShe looks like him.â
You nodded. âShe does.â You nodded. âI was in labour two nights and one day, and she came out the spitting image of her father and brother.â
Ser Duncan smiled.
âAnd she has the audacity to prefer her father over me. The one who gave her life and fed from my very own breast.â
Ser Duncan let himself chuckle.
"Have you talked to him?â You ask, not needing to clarify who.
âI have, mâlady.â He answers. âHis grace recovers well and has been able to walk well with the assistance of a cane.â
âDoes he remember you?â
âNo.â He shook his head. âBut he does tell me that he would gladly let me join his kingsguard and serve him.â
âDo you plan on accepting it?â
âIâll be honest with you, my lady. I don't know..." He continues. âI am grateful for the offer. It is something a Hedge Knight strives for his whole life butâŠâ
âBut?â You encouraged him.
âI don't feel ready to give up that life yet. Especially with Egg as my squire.â He explains. âHeâs a good lad. A pain in my side⊠but a good lad. He could do so much better outside of places like these.â
You nodded. âI think youâre correct, Ser Duncan.â
âYour husband said the same thing. Even told Prince Maekar that he should reconsider it.â
That makes you pause.Â
Your husband.Â
Nobody has said that since Baelorâs return. As if the reminder were a dirty memory that shouldn't be evoked. As if that would cause him to break into pieces.
âI know itâs not the same, but I have lived that âHedge Knightâ life before.â You told him. âI came from a House that wasn't worthy enough to be remembered in the lineage books. I couldnât tell people which side they fought during the Dance of Dragons or the Blackfyre rebellion. My parents died when I was young, and I have been shipped off to every corner of the realm to various relatives. I learnt rather quickly to never get used to any keep I arrived at because I would be sent away before I could learn the names of the servants. I arrived in Kingâs Landing with one last favour and two ugly gowns in my name.â
Ser Duncan listened to you attentively.
âI don't know what you heard of me, Ser, but there are those who think I slithered my way into Baelorâs bed and seduced him into marrying me.â
Ser Duncan shook his head and stammered an apology and told you he would never believe such tales regarding your honour.
You laughed.
âOh⊠How I wish I could tell these noblemen it was the other way around. He seduced me! I didnât realise he actually wanted me for a wife until he took me to Dragonstone and knelt before me. A Prince knelt before me and asked me to be his wife! Do you know what I said?â
Ser Duncan blinked. âYes?â
âYour Grace, get up! You are embarrassing yourself!â You said using the same shrieking voice you did years ago. âAnd he did not get up. He told me he would stay like that until I said yes. And I just⊠kept denying him! I tried to get him up from the ground, but he would not budge.â
You smile as you remember that day.
âNo matter what objections I threw at him, he would fight back. âThe King would never approve,' I said. 'The King already knows and has given us his blessing,' he said. âYour sons would not want a replacement for their mother,' I argued. âMy son helped me choose the ring,' he argued back. âThe court would never accept me,' I tried once again to bring him to reason. âThe court would have to fight me if they disapprove of our union,' he said, still kneeling on the ground and holding the ring.â
âWhat made you say âyesâ?â
You twisted your engagement ring. âI made him promise to never leave my side and ship me off to whatever corner of this realm. If he promises me that I will say âyesâ.â
You wish to cry, but you will not cry. Not when itâs such a beautiful day.
âHe will remember you, my lady. I am sure of it!â Ser Duncan reassured you.
âI hope so, Ser," You say. âBecause who am I without my Baelor? I came from nothing and belonged to nothing, but Baelor never let me feel like I didnât belong next to him. " You look at your daughter. âAt least for my daughterâs sake, the Gods will guide him back to us.â
Hyacinth guided her cousin to you and Ser Duncan. She stopped in front of the tall knight and looked at him like she was studying him. She is definitely her fatherâs daughter. She pulled her hand from Aegon and grabbed Ser Duncanâs leg pant. Ser Duncan stood still like a statue, and he had a look of sheer panic on his face, as if it were a dangerous animal clinging to him and not a small child.
Hyacinth made a squealing noise and tried to climb Ser Duncanâs leg.
âIt seems like the Princess wishes to know how you view the world, Ser Duncan.â You said humourously.
âYou should do as your Princess asks, Ser," Aegon said, sharing your amusement.Â
Ser Duncan took a deep breath, rubbed his palms against his pants, crouched down and lifted the princess. He held her at arm's length away from his body. His breath hitched when Hyacith let out a screech.
âShe prefers being held closer, Ser Duncan.â You gently pushed your daughter into Ser Duncanâs chest, and you could've sworn he stopped breathing.
Ser Duncan looked at Hyacith, who was looking back at him, and cleared his throat. âhum.. Evening, Princess.â
The little girl babbled in response.
You smiled, but you couldn't help the feeling like someone was staring at you. You turned around and saw a person retreating, but you could recognise that silver head from anywhere.
âSer Duncan, Egg. I will be right back.â You said, not giving time to hear their answers as you went inside.
You catch Maekar just as he is going up the stairs.
âHow is it that a Hedge Knight and your nine-year-old son have more guts to look me in the eyes than you, brother?â You asked, saying the last part rather sarcastically.
Maekar goes stiff and turns around, staring at you with a scowl. Years ago that look frightened you, but now it held no power over you.
âI would like to remind you, girl.â He hissed. âThat you are speaking to a Prince of the Realm.â
âAnd I would like to remind you, your grace.â You said with your chin high. âThat Iâm still Princess of Dragonstone and your future Queen even if your brother doesn't remember me. Iâm still a member of this family until the King says otherwise."
Maekar has never been warm with you. Heâs only polite because you are his brotherâs wife. Because the King likes you. He shares the same opinion the court has towards you: too unfit and unworthy to be the heirâs wife.
Maekar huffs and goes down the stairs. âYou left your daughter with that oaf?â
âSer Duncan is a good man. My husband saw that, so I trust him, and besides, heâs with your son, and you let him be your squire.â
âYou trust him after he caused all of this.â
âYes.â You said, feeling ready to defend Ser Duncanâs honour. âAfter all, it was not him who called for a trial of Seven. It was not him who swung the mace.â
Something flickered in Maekarâs eyes. Hurt? You did not know and you did not care. Baelor remembers him, and Maekar gets to see him every day. You haven't been able to talk to your husband and could only rely on the accounts from your stepsons, Kiera and the maesters about his well-being.
âIf I could undo what happenâŠâ He started.
âSpare me your sorrows, Maekar," You cut in. âI will only forgive when he remembers me. When my daughter stops crying herself to sleep because she heard her fatherâs voice and he did not come to her. When the baby inside of meâŠâ You stopped when Maekarâs eyes went wide and he looked at your belly.
You turned around and walked away from him.
You owed him no explanation.
You owed him nothing.
You come back to Ser Duncan, still holding Hyacinth and asking Egg if sheâs still breathing because she has gone quiet. Hyacinth was happily sucking on her fist.
...
Baelor doesn't like to be idle. He doesn't like to remain still. He also doesn't like to be coddled. He understands an injury like this needs to be taken care of properly, but he feels like heâs going to forget all his manners if another person asks if heâs alright.
Itâs nighttime, and half of the Keep is asleep. Usually at this hour Baelor would be hunched over his desk and looking over his ledgers, but heâs not doing anything, and he hates that. He has probably counted every stitch and every flower in the canopy above him.
The wound has healed well, and he no longer needs bandages. He still gets headaches and has a persistent itch on his wound.
He lets out grunts when he sits on the bed. With deep breaths he grabs his cane and gets up from the bed. He walks out, ignoring the guard stationed at his door.
âA small walk, Ser.â He said, waving his hand when the knight started walking behind him. âI will be back before you know it.â
Baelor wished to know how much had changed in four years, and the cloak of the knight was perfect for it. There were no Lords and Ladies asking for his well-being and saying heâs in their prayers. Itâs more quiet.Â
He heard a babe the other day when he was strolling through the garden with Valarr. That was odd; there werenât a lot of babies in the Keep. The noble ladies usually leave them with nursemaids in their husbands' castles. He didnât get to see the babe, but he did hear the poor thing cry.
Not much has changed; the walls and the banners were the same, but the gardens looked different. There was a section that was full of hyacinths of various colours and an orange tree. It was beautiful and well taken care of. He wonders whose idea was it to plant them. There was also a bench in there; maybe he should sit there and rest for a bit.
When he arrives at the garden and hears a woman humming. He wonders if his brotherâs hit was strong enough to make him see the ghosts of the keep.
 He rounds the corner, and he sees a Lady sitting on the bench. He doesn't recognise her. Sheâs quite pretty. Her expression was calm and serene. In her hands was a handkerchief with peeled orange slices. The moon shone on her beautifully. He tried to look for clues of her house with her clothes, but she wore a plain white nightgown and a dark robe.
Why is there Lady alone in the gardens in the middle of the night? He wondered.
Should he join her? Or should he let her be in her own peace?
Before he could decide, a wave of nausea hit him, making his body brush against the leaves of the bushes.
The lady stopped humming.
...
"Who's there?!â You shouted when you heard something rustling in the bushes and the sound of a man groaning. âShow yourself before I scream for the guards!â
You get up from the bench and try to see between the gaps who this person is.
You hear a cane tapping against the stone floor path, and a person clad in a dark robe appears. Your heart skips a beat when you see Baelor coming out.
âForgive me, my lady.â He starts. âIt was never my intention to frighten you.â
âBae⊠your grace.â You collect yourself and bow before him. âIâm happy to see you recovering well. Are you here by yourself?â
âYes. I appreciate everyone has made sure I'm comfortable, but I needed time for myself.â
You look down at the orange peels in your handkerchief because you fear if you look at him, youâll say something you shouldnât. âThen Iâll let you be, my prince.â
You turn around, but he speaks. âWait.â You look over your shoulder.
âPlease don't let my presence disturb you, and I hope itâs not too much to ask; could you join me? "
How long have you waited for his invitation? It made you feel like the first months you knew one another when you didn't know how to act around him.
You nodded and sat on the bench again. He joins you soon after, groaning as he plops down the hard bench. Maybe you should ask a servant to bring a cushion for him.
You remained silent and so did he.
The silence did not feel tense. It felt familiar. Like the days you got to know each other, where you used each other's presence and didn't need words to pass time. You simply relished being together.
âThe song you were humming.â Baelor said, gently breaking the silence. âI recognised it. A High Valyrian song about a daughter asking her father to collect a star for her; he tells her heâll ride his dragon as high as he can and collect all of them for her. And when he does, the daughter gets sad because the sky is no longer shining, so the father puts her in his dragon, and they put the stars back in the sky.â
âYes.â You confirm. "Unfortunately I don't know how to sing the words; I just know the rhythm.â
âWhere did you hear it from?â
The truthful answer would be. âYou sang to our daughter ever since she was in my womb. You were so sure it was girl just by the way she kicked against your hand.â
âI heard it from a volantis singer that was passing by.â You said. âItâs my daughterâs favourite song. I hummed it to her when putting her in her cradle."
The more truthful answer would be. âShe doesn't like it when anyone else but you sings it. She once placed her hand in the Kingâs mouth to shut him up.â
âHow old is your daughter?â
âA year old.â
âWhatâs her name?â
âHyacinth.â
Baelor looked around the garden at the various hyacinths surrounding you and him and chuckled.
âA beautiful name.â
You named her, you thought bitterly. âThank you.â
Baelor shocked his head. âForgive me, my lady. I just realised I haven't asked your name.â
You answer him.
âDoes your husband know youâre here alone?â
âI don't have a husband.â You say it almost bitterly.
It might as well be the truth. Your husband is sitting right next to you like a stranger.
Baelor noticed the tension in your body. âThe hour is getting quite late, my lady.â He gets up from the bench and extends his hand towards you. âAllow me to escort you to your chambers.â
You accept his hand and you feel your whole body shivering when you feel Baelorâs skin. âThank you, your grace.â You reluctantly pull your hand away. âBut I have to refuse; my chambers are from yours, and I don't wish for you to exhaust yourself.â
âIt would be no trouble.â He tried to argue.
âPlease, my prince," You pleaded, exhausted yourself. âI wish to be alone.â
He nodded and stepped aside.Â
âI would like to thank you, my lady.â You looked at him confused. âIt felt nice to have a conversation with someone that didn't involve my injury or matters of the realm.â
âYouâre welcome, my prine.â
You bowed and left the garden, and you could feel Baelorâs eyes on you as he watched you disappear from his view. You put your hand in your belly as you feel a small flutter. As if a feather were caressing your skin.
When you were far away from him, the guards, or any living soul, you stopped and collapsed to your knees and started crying.Â
You tried to be strong. For your daughter. For your baby. But when Baelor gazed at you and the warmth and love weren't there, it was painful and heartbreaking. You felt like you were a little girl again being told to pack her things because she was leaving. Because sheâs not wanted. You thought you would never feel like that. That Baelor would not let you feel like that ever again. He promised! you know itâs not his fault. That your Baelor would rather forfeit his crown than let you or Hyacith feel like that. A burden.
...
Baelor canât help but feel like something is missing. Not just his memories but also someone.
At first he thought it was Jena he was missing. It wasn't a love match, but they had respect for one another, and he felt genuinely sad to hear of her death. She was not only his sonsâ mother. She was his friend and someone he felt he could rely on when his time came to be King.
When he woke up, his hand, without thinking, went to his side of the bed, expecting to feel another body. He and Jena slept in separate chambers. When he looks to his side, he expects someone to be there, but thereâs only an empty space.
He also hears the sound of a babe crying. When heâs in his study, he swears he hears a child crying. He would step into the corridor, but he would see nothing. He asked the guards if they heard a child, and they told him ânoâ. Baelor thinks heâs losing his mind. When he finds a small doll in his drawer and he smells the faint scent of baby powder, he knows that this child is real.
...
Baelor is on another nightly stroll when he hears once again the sound of a child crying, and this time he knows heâs not imagining it when he hears another voice speaking to the babe.
He follows the sound, and heâs surprised to find himself in the royal nursery where he and his brothers spent the first years of their lives. This section is reserved only for the children of the royal family.Â
He looks through the gap of the door and sees a small child, a girl, sitting on top of a rug surrounded by pillows. The child was crying almost hysterically. A young nursemaid stood next to her holding a bowl of porridge. She tried to give the baby a spoonful, but the baby turned her head stubbornly and continued to wail. The young nursemaid looked worried sick for the child in her care.
âShould we call the maester?â
An older nursemaid sighed. Baelor recognised she's the same one who took care of his sons. âDon't bother. She'll cry herself to exhaustion very soon.â
The Young nurse maid put the bowl down. âI feel so horrible for her.â The nursemaid wipes a tear from her. âPoor little Hyacinth."
Hyacinth?
The daughter of the lady in the garden.Â
âPoor little Hyacinth, indeed.â The older nursemaid repeated. âI recognise that cry. I have taken care of children for almost twenty years and recognised the meaning of every cry they let out. This one is âI miss my fatherâ cry.â
Hyacinth sniffed, agreeing with the nurse maid's conclusion. The girl turned her head and made direct eye contact with Baelor.
Hyacinth stops crying and her body goes stiff. Then she let out a happy shriek. The girl got up and walked towards him. Baelor took a step inside the nursery just as she collided against his leg.
âYour grace!â The nurse maids quickly bowed.
Baelor was more focused on the child in front, who clung to his trousers like it was a lifeline.
He crouched down and picked her up. He hoped his body would not betray him, not while he was holding something so frail.
âHyacinth.â He called her softly.Â
Hyacinth smiled, revealing two teeth on her upper gums, and buried her face in his neck.
Baelor was shocked that the child who was crying hysterically a while ago had calmed down as soon as she saw him.
âWhose child does she belong to?â
One of the nurse maids stammered the name of the lady in the garden, just like he suspected, but there's no mention of a father.
He was about to ask about him when the child pulled her face away from him and pointed at the bowl of porridge while babbling.Â
The nursemaid that tried to feed her let out a relieved sigh and quickly picked the bowl. She put the spoon in front of her mouth, but to the dismay of everyone in the room, she turned her face away.
âMay I?â Baelor asks, lifting his hand.
The nursemaid passed him the spoon, and he put it in front of the child's mouth. The baby girl chased the spoon and ate the porridge. She opened her mouth wanting more. Baelor scooped another bit of the porridge and repeated the process.
Baelor hummed at her.
âCan I⊠can I have a moment alone with her?â
âOf course, we'll be in the room right next to you.â
The nursemaids left, and it was just him and her.
Baelor sat himself and Hyacinth on the rug and continued to feed her. She happily took every spoon without hesitation. Once in a while she would stop and smile at him. And Baelor couldnât help but smile back at her.
When there's nothing left, he gets out his handkerchief and wipes the remaining porridge stuck to her mouth. The handkerchief has hyacinths embroidered on it. He found it inside his pockets when departing Ashford.Â
He takes a closer look at the child.
He couldn't help but think she looked familiar.Â
She has mismatched eyes like him and Valarr. Her hair was jet black, curled in a way that reminded him of his mother's hair.
Hyacinth got up and walked to him. She placed her hands on his shoulder and looked at him expectantly.Â
âWhat is it that you want, little lady?âÂ
She huffed.
Then Baelor remembered what the lady in the garden said about her daughter.Â
He started singing quietly.Â
Hyacinth relaxed and laid her head on his shoulder. Baelor put his hand on her back and laid her on his lap. She was so small. He continued to sing. He liked this song. When he was a tiny lad, the maesters would give him and his brothers songs to translate. This one became his favourite. He liked the story behind it, the love a father had for his child that he flew higher and picked all the stars in the sky for his daughter.
Hyacinth was sleeping peacefully.
Baelor carefully laid her in the cot and looked at her, not knowing how to feel. His mind was reaching an horrendous conclusion.Â
...
âAnd he stayed?â
âFor a bit, my lady.â The nurse maid explained. âAfter he tucked her in and called us back inside, he left but not before telling us to call for him if little Hyacinth needed a Prince to feed her porridge again.â
The nursemaids laughed, and you laughed as well. You could cry from happiness.Â
You looked at your daughter, who was in your arms munching on her doll. She looked well rested and happy.Â
âAnd you took your first steps, my little princess?â You laughed. âOf course the first person you would walk to was your papa.âÂ
You brought her closer to you. You could smell Baelor on her. The familiar scents of ink and parchment.Â
âMy cheeky little girl. Maybe it's you who is going to bring him back to us.â
...
Baelor paced back in and forward in his study.
A headache was going through his head worse than the others.
He did not know how to feel. Anger? Disappointment? Disgust? All of it?
Why did he do it?
How could've he done it?
Where did he fail?
Baelor thought Valarr better than this!
He was a small child when the BlackfyreÂ
Valarr was a young child when the Blackfyre Rebellion happened but old enough to remember the reason for why his father was fighting.Â
So, why did he sire a bastard?Â
And why are you here walking around the castle like you belong to House Targaryen?
Baelor understands Valarrâs need for wanting his daughter nearby, but his mistress?Â
Has he gone mad?Â
Why would he do this to his wife?Â
Does he go to her chambers in the middle of the night and sneak into her bed?
Baelor takes a deep breath and asks the guard to get his son.
Summary: Hyacinth flowers generally symbolise playfulness, joy, sincerity, and springtime. You thought everything was fine and that you didn't have to worry anymore. You just hoped your daughter would be spared.
Word Count: 7,416 words
Tags: angst, miscommunication, fluff, mentions of child neglect, mention of classist attitudes towards the reader.
My dearest Prince,
It has been two days since you departed, and in those two days our Princess Hyacith has let the whole keep know her displeasure at the fact you are not there to sing her lullabies and tuck her in for her nap. Her sweet little face goes red from how much she cries, and her gaze is fixed on the door, waiting for your arrival.
Do not worry; she does not cry all the time. She enjoys the company of her big brother, who takes her out to the gardens to play, and her Grandsire, who purposely skips meetings with the small council and goes straight to the nursery. Your father tried to sing the same high valyrian lullabies you sang her, but she does not find the Kingâs singing abilities enjoyable and fusses when he starts a song. Iâve managed to make her fall asleep by wrapping your shirts around her.
Our little girl is not the only one who misses you.
I just donât have the luxury of screaming about it like Hyacith.
I miss you so much, my love.
I wake up, and the first thing i do is reach for you, and I get confused when i only feel the cold and unmade sheets. Your pillow is slowly losing your scent.
Come back to me as soon as you can. Give my love to Valarr, Kiera, Maekar and his boys.
Your loving wife.
...
My Darling Wife
Every day away from you and our children is torture if I dare be dramatic.
It breaks my heart to know how distressed our little princess is.Â
My Poor Little Hyacith, too small to understand the world but wise enough to know when something is missing.
The same way she looks at the door, waiting for my arrival, I find myself humming her favourite lullaby when deep in thought, thinking that her cradle is next to me and iâm lulling her to sleep. You have to forgive me, my lady, but before I left I stole your handkerchief, the one with hyacinths embroidered on it. It carries your scent, my love, and unfortunately, just like my pillow, yours is slowly fading away.
I too reach for your warmth when I wake up first thing in the morning, but I only have a cold side of the bed and the sounds of horses and garrisons as the reminder of the miles between us. Donât count the days until you see me again, my love. Iâll be there before you realise it.
Your faithful husband, Baelor.
...
When the letters and trinkets stopped arriving, you did not get worried.
Your Baelor is a busy man. He could be far away from his study in the Red Keep, but heâll still find a way to bury himself in matters of the realm. In the meantime, you spent your days taking care of your daughter, overseeing your stepson studying and looking after household matters.
The horrible news arrives when you are strolling through the gardens with the King. Ever since you married Baelor, youâve become quite close to the King, a daughter he never had. A guard runs to the gardens, shouting for the King.
The Guard stopped in front of them, sweating and breathing rapidly.
âWe have received a letter from Prince Maekar bearing urgent newsâŠâ
You did not know what to expect. A Blackfyre conspiracy. How you wished that were the cause. The Guard hands over Maekarâs letter, and the King quickly reads it over. He wouldâve collapsed to the ground if he had not grabbed hold of you. You caught him and let him support your body against yours.
âYour grace!â You shouted.
The king was pallid, and his gaze was blank. He called your name and told you to get Mtarys. It was about his father. It was about Baelor. You guided the King to the guard and ran as fast as you could to the training yard where Matarys was.
When you find your stepson, you bring him to the gardens where the King remained. The King is sitting on the bench, crumpling the letter that had caused so much distress.
The King looks at Matarys with solemn eyes. He stands up. âMy boy, before you panic, I need you to know your father is alright. He has been injured.â Yours and Matarysâ breaths hitched. âBut he is alright. Your Uncle Maekar has assured me, and they are coming back.â
The King tells you, and Matarys tells you, that Baelor got injured after joining the side of a Hedge Knight during a trial of seven. Baelor fought bravely. Baelor was struck by his own brother's mace. Baelor lay asleep for two weeks with Maesters who did not know if he would live or die.
The Gods smiled at Baelor.
He woke up.
The King looked at you as he continued speaking. âThe Maesters say a lot of things can happen to a man when he's struck hard in the head. Baelor woke up asking for Jena.â
...
Baelor arrives inside a wheelhouse, a contrast to the way he departed a month and a half ago.
A month and a half ago, he stood in the Keepâs entrance bidding his goodbye to you, Hyacinth and Matarys. He ruffled Matarysâ hair and told him to behave. He gave Hyacinth a cuddle and kissed her cheeks. He puts your daughter back into your arms and kisses you gently. You still remember how much his gaze was full of love and adoration towards you, towards his family.
As he rode his horse out of the gates, he looked over his shoulder where you still remained with Hyacith in your arms and Matarys by your side. You grabbed Hyacithâs arm and waved at him. He smiled and waved back.
Baelor Breakspear returned to the capital a different man. Well, not different. He returns as a man he hasn't been in years. He returns as Prince Baelor, husband of Lady Jena Dondarrion and father of Prince Valarr and Prince Matarys. You and your daughter may as well not exist.
You met Baelor one year after Lady Jenaâs death. Baelor didn't intend to have a second wife, and you didn't intend to fall in love with him. Youâre an orphan who comes from a House whose sigil and motto nobody could tell even if their lives depended on it. Only Baelor could answer it.Â
When he asked your House name you felt embarrassed because you stood in front of the greatest man in the Realm and you come from nothing extraordinary. You mumbled your full name, and without wasting a beat, he asked if you were related to a knight. You recognised the knight he named, your great-grand sire. You were shocked that he would remember such a thing. He wasn't a remarkable knight; he just had few tournament wins under his name, and that was it.Â
On that day you felt seen, and that was the start of everything.
It wasnât a hot, passionate love affair.
It was built slowly over the years like a well-tended fire.
You were Lady Kieraâs lady-in-waiting.
You didnât see Baelor every day.Â
You were busy attending the Young Princeâs wife.Â
He was busy being the Hand.
When you crossed paths, you would bow to him, and he would nod at you.
It was a practice dance between the two of you, but as time went on, the dance started to shift patterns, like the invisible minstrels had changed the tune of their instruments.Â
When you and Baelor crossed paths, you both slowed your paces as if to make the moment last longer. You would hold eye contact longer than it is appropriate for either of your statuses. You would walk forward, and when looking over your shoulder, he would be staring right back at you. It was you who made the audacious step of turning this dance into something more.
âItâs just a beautiful day today.â You said.
He almost looked stunned by your comment, but he then smiled and agreed with you. Then Baelor did his own audacious step; he asked if you wanted to take a stroll with him in the gardens. You accepted.
The wheelhouse stops in front of the awaiting group. Prince Maekar, who was riding his horse alongside, quickly jumped off the animal before a stable boy even arrived. He rushed to the Wheelhouse and opened its door. Lady Kiera is the first to come off and then Prince Valarr. The Young Prince lifts his hand to the inside, and a big but thin hand grabs it. Maekar approaches and lets the last person inside lean on his body.
The sight in front of you almost makes you want to faint, and Matarys grabbed your hand.
Baelor looked too thin and frail. His clothes looked baggy, and his face was sunken. His head was bandaged, and you could see a faint spot of red.
The King is the one to go to him first.
Baelor tries to stand straight in front of his father and king.
âMy King,â He mumbled as if speaking was the hardest task he could perform. âPlease give me time to recover and I shall attend to my dutiesâŠâ
The King didn't let him finish. He walked to Baelor and pulled him into his arms.
Daeron Targaryen stripped his title and crown and held his firstborn, whom he almost lost. Baelor wrapped his arm around his father and rested his head against his shoulder. Maekar, who was holding Baelor upright, looked down in shame and was about to step away when Daeron grabbed him and brought him to his hold as well.
It was a heartbreaking sight.
âMatarys.â You called for your stepson lightly. âGo to your father.â
Matarys reluctantly lets go of your hand.
He approached shyly and stopped behind the King.
âFather.â He called out.
Baelor lifted his head and fixed his gaze at his youngest son.
Baelorâs mismatched eyes studied the boy in front of him; they go wide when it dawns on him who the boy is. Matarys was only eight years old when Jena died. He was now twelve. He carefully frees himself from his father's and brotherâs grip, and with uncoordinated steps, he moves forward.
Baelor takes another step forward and loses his balance, dropping to his knees right in front of Matarys. Maekar rushes to his brotherâs side. He was about to lift him, but Baelor raised his hand. He grabbed his youngest son and pulled him to his arms just like his father did a few moments ago. Matarys broke down and cried in his fatherâs arms.
"Shh...shh," He hummened. âWhen did you get so big, my boy?â Baelor asked as he patted his sonâs arms and back.
A tear slips down your face, and you quickly wipe it away. It gave you hope. If he remembered his son with one glance. He may remember you as well.
The Maesters start to surround Baelor, ready to see the extent of his wound and see how truly bad it is. Baelor reluctantly lets go of Matarys and allows Maekar to get him up from the ground and escort him inside.
They walk to the entrance where you stood. Your body goes rigid. Should you call for him? Should you hold his arm? Should you introduce yourself?
You looked directly at Baelor, and he looked back at you.
You waited for that glimpse of recognition, but it did not arrive.
Baelor politely nodded at you. âMy lady.â
You stayed there astonished.
You could almost laugh. Thatâs Baelor, alright. The man could have a limb hanging by a thread, but he would still slow down and greet the person in front of him just because he couldn't forget his good manners.
Maekar didn't look at you. His gaze was forward.
Coward! You think bitterly. Your brother would've looked me in the eyes!
Kiera walks to you and hugs you. You break down in her arms.
...
Maesters surrounded him and prodded his head.
They gave him Milk of the poppy, which made his senses go dull. He was in and out of consciousness. There was so much he wanted to ask and do. How was the realm? How were his sons? How was his fatherâs health? Where was Jena buried?
The maesters disperse, and heâs no longer being touched. His eyes were closed, but he could hear everything around him. He could hear them whispering among themselves about the side effects of his wound and how they could bring back some of his memories without causing emotional and mental distress.
He hears light footsteps coming inside the chamber.
âHe just fell asleep.â He hears Maekar say. âYou shouldn't be here.â His brother doesn't say it with a malicious tone, but Baelor nonetheless wishes to scold his brother. This person was a guest, a friend of his who wanted to check on his well-being.
He tried to open his eyes, but his lids were heavy.Â
The person doesn't respond to Maekar, nor do they obey him. In fact, they step closer to Baelor. Now Baelor wished he could see who this person was that was so bold to defy his brother.
The steps are light. A Lady, perhaps?
The bed dips as someone sits beside him. and his hand is held. It was a lady indeed. The hand was soft and warm. A contrast to his rough and cold skin. The lady rubs his hand delicately, warming him up.Â
The lady remains silent, but he could hear her sniff and a hitch in her breath as she held back a sob. He wanted to tell the lady to not waste tears on a fool like him. He tried to squeeze her hand, but his fingers still felt like wood.
No one speaks.
He could feel her gaze on him. Her hand grazed his knuckles slowly.
Another sound of footsteps appears along with the sound of clanking. A guard.
âMy lady?â He calls.
The lady speaks for the first time. âYes?â
Her voice is soft and gentle, just like her touch.
âPrince Valarr requests your presence.â
The lady pauses in her gestures, and Baelor mourns her touch. She sighs and carefully lays Baelorâs hand on the wool blanket.
He waits for her to get up and leave. She moves not away from him but towards him. She leans in, and Baelor could smell citrus fruits and oranges â a far cry from the medicine and incense that surround him. She presses her lips against his temple, and Baelor feels his heart skip a beat.
She gets up and starts to walk away, but Baelor wanted her to stay. He moved his head, and finally he managed to open his eyes, but his vision was blurry. He could only see the tail end of the Ladyâs blue gown.
The Maester suggests you and Hyacith keep a respectful distance from Baelor so as not to create more mental distress for him.
...
You are to be a stranger to your own husband.
Who are you now?
You have no idea.
Are you still a wife even if your husband doesn't remember you?
Is your daughter a princess even if her father doesn't remember her conception?
You lie on your bed. The same bed you shared with your husband a few months ago with your daughter sleeping peacefully right beside you. You envy her. She doesn't know one of her favourite people in the world doesn't recall her existence. He doesnât remember her laugh, her smile, how much he prayed for her and the love that he had for her. He doesn't remember how happy he was when she was born. A man who thought he would never hold another small child of his blood, especially a daughter.
âForgive me, my lady, but I never thought I would feel so much love for a woman until you presented this blessing to my life.â He told you when he held her for the first time.
She doesn't know her father doesn't remember her mother.
He doesnât remember the days where polite conversations turn into something deeper and meaningful. The days when you sought each other's eyes from across the room. The day he asked you to be his wife. The day you made oaths to one another in front of the Gods and men. The days of getting to know each other's bodies.
Baelor lies on a bed, not knowing on the other side of the Keep there are two people who have become important to him. He doesn't know thereâs a possibility you carry his fourth child.
You haven't told anyone. You haven't sought a maester or midwife to confirm it, but you knew. You knew your body. The lack of blood wasn't your only clue. Your breasts were tender, and when Hyacith would squeal, screech or whimper, you would feel a tug on them. You felt nauseous. You craved oranges, the same cravings you had in your first pregnancy. You wanted to tell Baelor in your letters but decided you wanted to surprise him. You regret that choice now.
If you had told him your suspicions, would he have still joined the fight? Maybe he still would. He joined a fight knowing he had two small children waiting for him, and he still went ahead.
Seven! How you wished to whack him on the head as well!
...
âAnd this is Aemon the Dragonknight! My great-great-uncle! My brother was named after him. When Queen Naerys, my great-grandmother, was accused of adultery, he demanded her accuser fight him in a trial by combat and won!â
âOhâŠâ
You smiled as you watched Aegon escort the Hedge Knight around the Keep, and you smiled at the Hedge Knight, who was amazed at everything around him.
Hyacinthâs shrieks announce your presence in the corridor.
Aegon turned around and smiled when he spotted you and his cousin.
âAuntie!â He ran towards you.
The Hedge Knight lowered his gaze as he followed his young squire.
âHello, Hyacinth!â He greeted her, grabbing her little hand.
âHello, Egg.â You greeted him in return and looked at the Tall knight in front of you. âWill you introduce me to your friend?â
Egg smiled. âAunt, this is Ser Duncan the Tall.â
The Knight stood straighter when you gazed at him, and his cheeks turned red.
âMy lady.â He respectfully bowed his head.
âSer Duncan the Tall this is my cousin, Princess Hyacith of House Targaryen and my auntâŠâ
Ser Duncan the Tallâs eyes go wider when Egg tells your name and your relationship to the royal. He began to speak, but his words were incoherent, and they did not make any sense. Then he dropped to his knees in front of you.
âMy lady⊠Please forgive me for all that has happened!â He started rambling. âIt was never my intention to drag the Hand into this mess! It was never my intention to cause this much harm to your family!â
âAnd what was your intention, Ser Duncan?â You asked.
Ser duncan lifts his head and looks with his sincere blue eyes. âTo protect the innocent, my lady. As every knight should.â
You sighed.
âEgg.â You said. âWould you and Ser Duncan like to take a stroll with Hyacith and me?"
Aegon and Hyacith walk ahead of you and Ser Duncan.
Aegon holds Hyacinth's hands and teaches her how to walk.
âAnother foot forward... another foot forward.â
Ser Duncan breaks the silence. âShe looks like him.â
You nodded. âShe does.â You nodded. âI was in labour two nights and one day, and she came out the spitting image of her father and brother.â
Ser Duncan smiled.
âAnd she has the audacity to prefer her father over me. The one who gave her life and fed from my very own breast.â
Ser Duncan let himself chuckle.
"Have you talked to him?â You ask, not needing to clarify who.
âI have, mâlady.â He answers. âHis grace recovers well and has been able to walk well with the assistance of a cane.â
âDoes he remember you?â
âNo.â He shook his head. âBut he does tell me that he would gladly let me join his kingsguard and serve him.â
âDo you plan on accepting it?â
âIâll be honest with you, my lady. I don't know..." He continues. âI am grateful for the offer. It is something a Hedge Knight strives for his whole life butâŠâ
âBut?â You encouraged him.
âI don't feel ready to give up that life yet. Especially with Egg as my squire.â He explains. âHeâs a good lad. A pain in my side⊠but a good lad. He could do so much better outside of places like these.â
You nodded. âI think youâre correct, Ser Duncan.â
âYour husband said the same thing. Even told Prince Maekar that he should reconsider it.â
That makes you pause.Â
Your husband.Â
Nobody has said that since Baelorâs return. As if the reminder were a dirty memory that shouldn't be evoked. As if that would cause him to break into pieces.
âI know itâs not the same, but I have lived that âHedge Knightâ life before.â You told him. âI came from a House that wasn't worthy enough to be remembered in the lineage books. I couldnât tell people which side they fought during the Dance of Dragons or the Blackfyre rebellion. My parents died when I was young, and I have been shipped off to every corner of the realm to various relatives. I learnt rather quickly to never get used to any keep I arrived at because I would be sent away before I could learn the names of the servants. I arrived in Kingâs Landing with one last favour and two ugly gowns in my name.â
Ser Duncan listened to you attentively.
âI don't know what you heard of me, Ser, but there are those who think I slithered my way into Baelorâs bed and seduced him into marrying me.â
Ser Duncan shook his head and stammered an apology and told you he would never believe such tales regarding your honour.
You laughed.
âOh⊠How I wish I could tell these noblemen it was the other way around. He seduced me! I didnât realise he actually wanted me for a wife until he took me to Dragonstone and knelt before me. A Prince knelt before me and asked me to be his wife! Do you know what I said?â
Ser Duncan blinked. âYes?â
âYour Grace, get up! You are embarrassing yourself!â You said using the same shrieking voice you did years ago. âAnd he did not get up. He told me he would stay like that until I said yes. And I just⊠kept denying him! I tried to get him up from the ground, but he would not budge.â
You smile as you remember that day.
âNo matter what objections I threw at him, he would fight back. âThe King would never approve,' I said. 'The King already knows and has given us his blessing,' he said. âYour sons would not want a replacement for their mother,' I argued. âMy son helped me choose the ring,' he argued back. âThe court would never accept me,' I tried once again to bring him to reason. âThe court would have to fight me if they disapprove of our union,' he said, still kneeling on the ground and holding the ring.â
âWhat made you say âyesâ?â
You twisted your engagement ring. âI made him promise to never leave my side and ship me off to whatever corner of this realm. If he promises me that I will say âyesâ.â
You wish to cry, but you will not cry. Not when itâs such a beautiful day.
âHe will remember you, my lady. I am sure of it!â Ser Duncan reassured you.
âI hope so, Ser," You say. âBecause who am I without my Baelor? I came from nothing and belonged to nothing, but Baelor never let me feel like I didnât belong next to him. " You look at your daughter. âAt least for my daughterâs sake, the Gods will guide him back to us.â
Hyacinth guided her cousin to you and Ser Duncan. She stopped in front of the tall knight and looked at him like she was studying him. She is definitely her fatherâs daughter. She pulled her hand from Aegon and grabbed Ser Duncanâs leg pant. Ser Duncan stood still like a statue, and he had a look of sheer panic on his face, as if it were a dangerous animal clinging to him and not a small child.
Hyacinth made a squealing noise and tried to climb Ser Duncanâs leg.
âIt seems like the Princess wishes to know how you view the world, Ser Duncan.â You said humourously.
âYou should do as your Princess asks, Ser," Aegon said, sharing your amusement.Â
Ser Duncan took a deep breath, rubbed his palms against his pants, crouched down and lifted the princess. He held her at arm's length away from his body. His breath hitched when Hyacith let out a screech.
âShe prefers being held closer, Ser Duncan.â You gently pushed your daughter into Ser Duncanâs chest, and you could've sworn he stopped breathing.
Ser Duncan looked at Hyacith, who was looking back at him, and cleared his throat. âhum.. Evening, Princess.â
The little girl babbled in response.
You smiled, but you couldn't help the feeling like someone was staring at you. You turned around and saw a person retreating, but you could recognise that silver head from anywhere.
âSer Duncan, Egg. I will be right back.â You said, not giving time to hear their answers as you went inside.
You catch Maekar just as he is going up the stairs.
âHow is it that a Hedge Knight and your nine-year-old son have more guts to look me in the eyes than you, brother?â You asked, saying the last part rather sarcastically.
Maekar goes stiff and turns around, staring at you with a scowl. Years ago that look frightened you, but now it held no power over you.
âI would like to remind you, girl.â He hissed. âThat you are speaking to a Prince of the Realm.â
âAnd I would like to remind you, your grace.â You said with your chin high. âThat Iâm still Princess of Dragonstone and your future Queen even if your brother doesn't remember me. Iâm still a member of this family until the King says otherwise."
Maekar has never been warm with you. Heâs only polite because you are his brotherâs wife. Because the King likes you. He shares the same opinion the court has towards you: too unfit and unworthy to be the heirâs wife.
Maekar huffs and goes down the stairs. âYou left your daughter with that oaf?â
âSer Duncan is a good man. My husband saw that, so I trust him, and besides, heâs with your son, and you let him be your squire.â
âYou trust him after he caused all of this.â
âYes.â You said, feeling ready to defend Ser Duncanâs honour. âAfter all, it was not him who called for a trial of Seven. It was not him who swung the mace.â
Something flickered in Maekarâs eyes. Hurt? You did not know and you did not care. Baelor remembers him, and Maekar gets to see him every day. You haven't been able to talk to your husband and could only rely on the accounts from your stepsons, Kiera and the maesters about his well-being.
âIf I could undo what happenâŠâ He started.
âSpare me your sorrows, Maekar," You cut in. âI will only forgive when he remembers me. When my daughter stops crying herself to sleep because she heard her fatherâs voice and he did not come to her. When the baby inside of meâŠâ You stopped when Maekarâs eyes went wide and he looked at your belly.
You turned around and walked away from him.
You owed him no explanation.
You owed him nothing.
You come back to Ser Duncan, still holding Hyacinth and asking Egg if sheâs still breathing because she has gone quiet. Hyacinth was happily sucking on her fist.
...
Baelor doesn't like to be idle. He doesn't like to remain still. He also doesn't like to be coddled. He understands an injury like this needs to be taken care of properly, but he feels like heâs going to forget all his manners if another person asks if heâs alright.
Itâs nighttime, and half of the Keep is asleep. Usually at this hour Baelor would be hunched over his desk and looking over his ledgers, but heâs not doing anything, and he hates that. He has probably counted every stitch and every flower in the canopy above him.
The wound has healed well, and he no longer needs bandages. He still gets headaches and has a persistent itch on his wound.
He lets out grunts when he sits on the bed. With deep breaths he grabs his cane and gets up from the bed. He walks out, ignoring the guard stationed at his door.
âA small walk, Ser.â He said, waving his hand when the knight started walking behind him. âI will be back before you know it.â
Baelor wished to know how much had changed in four years, and the cloak of the knight was perfect for it. There were no Lords and Ladies asking for his well-being and saying heâs in their prayers. Itâs more quiet.Â
He heard a babe the other day when he was strolling through the garden with Valarr. That was odd; there werenât a lot of babies in the Keep. The noble ladies usually leave them with nursemaids in their husbands' castles. He didnât get to see the babe, but he did hear the poor thing cry.
Not much has changed; the walls and the banners were the same, but the gardens looked different. There was a section that was full of hyacinths of various colours and an orange tree. It was beautiful and well taken care of. He wonders whose idea was it to plant them. There was also a bench in there; maybe he should sit there and rest for a bit.
When he arrives at the garden and hears a woman humming. He wonders if his brotherâs hit was strong enough to make him see the ghosts of the keep.
 He rounds the corner, and he sees a Lady sitting on the bench. He doesn't recognise her. Sheâs quite pretty. Her expression was calm and serene. In her hands was a handkerchief with peeled orange slices. The moon shone on her beautifully. He tried to look for clues of her house with her clothes, but she wore a plain white nightgown and a dark robe.
Why is there Lady alone in the gardens in the middle of the night? He wondered.
Should he join her? Or should he let her be in her own peace?
Before he could decide, a wave of nausea hit him, making his body brush against the leaves of the bushes.
The lady stopped humming.
...
"Who's there?!â You shouted when you heard something rustling in the bushes and the sound of a man groaning. âShow yourself before I scream for the guards!â
You get up from the bench and try to see between the gaps who this person is.
You hear a cane tapping against the stone floor path, and a person clad in a dark robe appears. Your heart skips a beat when you see Baelor coming out.
âForgive me, my lady.â He starts. âIt was never my intention to frighten you.â
âBae⊠your grace.â You collect yourself and bow before him. âIâm happy to see you recovering well. Are you here by yourself?â
âYes. I appreciate everyone has made sure I'm comfortable, but I needed time for myself.â
You look down at the orange peels in your handkerchief because you fear if you look at him, youâll say something you shouldnât. âThen Iâll let you be, my prince.â
You turn around, but he speaks. âWait.â You look over your shoulder.
âPlease don't let my presence disturb you, and I hope itâs not too much to ask; could you join me? "
How long have you waited for his invitation? It made you feel like the first months you knew one another when you didn't know how to act around him.
You nodded and sat on the bench again. He joins you soon after, groaning as he plops down the hard bench. Maybe you should ask a servant to bring a cushion for him.
You remained silent and so did he.
The silence did not feel tense. It felt familiar. Like the days you got to know each other, where you used each other's presence and didn't need words to pass time. You simply relished being together.
âThe song you were humming.â Baelor said, gently breaking the silence. âI recognised it. A High Valyrian song about a daughter asking her father to collect a star for her; he tells her heâll ride his dragon as high as he can and collect all of them for her. And when he does, the daughter gets sad because the sky is no longer shining, so the father puts her in his dragon, and they put the stars back in the sky.â
âYes.â You confirm. "Unfortunately I don't know how to sing the words; I just know the rhythm.â
âWhere did you hear it from?â
The truthful answer would be. âYou sang to our daughter ever since she was in my womb. You were so sure it was girl just by the way she kicked against your hand.â
âI heard it from a volantis singer that was passing by.â You said. âItâs my daughterâs favourite song. I hummed it to her when putting her in her cradle."
The more truthful answer would be. âShe doesn't like it when anyone else but you sings it. She once placed her hand in the Kingâs mouth to shut him up.â
âHow old is your daughter?â
âA year old.â
âWhatâs her name?â
âHyacinth.â
Baelor looked around the garden at the various hyacinths surrounding you and him and chuckled.
âA beautiful name.â
You named her, you thought bitterly. âThank you.â
Baelor shocked his head. âForgive me, my lady. I just realised I haven't asked your name.â
You answer him.
âDoes your husband know youâre here alone?â
âI don't have a husband.â You say it almost bitterly.
It might as well be the truth. Your husband is sitting right next to you like a stranger.
Baelor noticed the tension in your body. âThe hour is getting quite late, my lady.â He gets up from the bench and extends his hand towards you. âAllow me to escort you to your chambers.â
You accept his hand and you feel your whole body shivering when you feel Baelorâs skin. âThank you, your grace.â You reluctantly pull your hand away. âBut I have to refuse; my chambers are from yours, and I don't wish for you to exhaust yourself.â
âIt would be no trouble.â He tried to argue.
âPlease, my prince," You pleaded, exhausted yourself. âI wish to be alone.â
He nodded and stepped aside.Â
âI would like to thank you, my lady.â You looked at him confused. âIt felt nice to have a conversation with someone that didn't involve my injury or matters of the realm.â
âYouâre welcome, my prine.â
You bowed and left the garden, and you could feel Baelorâs eyes on you as he watched you disappear from his view. You put your hand in your belly as you feel a small flutter. As if a feather were caressing your skin.
When you were far away from him, the guards, or any living soul, you stopped and collapsed to your knees and started crying.Â
You tried to be strong. For your daughter. For your baby. But when Baelor gazed at you and the warmth and love weren't there, it was painful and heartbreaking. You felt like you were a little girl again being told to pack her things because she was leaving. Because sheâs not wanted. You thought you would never feel like that. That Baelor would not let you feel like that ever again. He promised! you know itâs not his fault. That your Baelor would rather forfeit his crown than let you or Hyacith feel like that. A burden.
...
Baelor canât help but feel like something is missing. Not just his memories but also someone.
At first he thought it was Jena he was missing. It wasn't a love match, but they had respect for one another, and he felt genuinely sad to hear of her death. She was not only his sonsâ mother. She was his friend and someone he felt he could rely on when his time came to be King.
When he woke up, his hand, without thinking, went to his side of the bed, expecting to feel another body. He and Jena slept in separate chambers. When he looks to his side, he expects someone to be there, but thereâs only an empty space.
He also hears the sound of a babe crying. When heâs in his study, he swears he hears a child crying. He would step into the corridor, but he would see nothing. He asked the guards if they heard a child, and they told him ânoâ. Baelor thinks heâs losing his mind. When he finds a small doll in his drawer and he smells the faint scent of baby powder, he knows that this child is real.
...
Baelor is on another nightly stroll when he hears once again the sound of a child crying, and this time he knows heâs not imagining it when he hears another voice speaking to the babe.
He follows the sound, and heâs surprised to find himself in the royal nursery where he and his brothers spent the first years of their lives. This section is reserved only for the children of the royal family.Â
He looks through the gap of the door and sees a small child, a girl, sitting on top of a rug surrounded by pillows. The child was crying almost hysterically. A young nursemaid stood next to her holding a bowl of porridge. She tried to give the baby a spoonful, but the baby turned her head stubbornly and continued to wail. The young nursemaid looked worried sick for the child in her care.
âShould we call the maester?â
An older nursemaid sighed. Baelor recognised she's the same one who took care of his sons. âDon't bother. She'll cry herself to exhaustion very soon.â
The Young nurse maid put the bowl down. âI feel so horrible for her.â The nursemaid wipes a tear from her. âPoor little Hyacinth."
Hyacinth?
The daughter of the lady in the garden.Â
âPoor little Hyacinth, indeed.â The older nursemaid repeated. âI recognise that cry. I have taken care of children for almost twenty years and recognised the meaning of every cry they let out. This one is âI miss my fatherâ cry.â
Hyacinth sniffed, agreeing with the nurse maid's conclusion. The girl turned her head and made direct eye contact with Baelor.
Hyacinth stops crying and her body goes stiff. Then she let out a happy shriek. The girl got up and walked towards him. Baelor took a step inside the nursery just as she collided against his leg.
âYour grace!â The nurse maids quickly bowed.
Baelor was more focused on the child in front, who clung to his trousers like it was a lifeline.
He crouched down and picked her up. He hoped his body would not betray him, not while he was holding something so frail.
âHyacinth.â He called her softly.Â
Hyacinth smiled, revealing two teeth on her upper gums, and buried her face in his neck.
Baelor was shocked that the child who was crying hysterically a while ago had calmed down as soon as she saw him.
âWhose child does she belong to?â
One of the nurse maids stammered the name of the lady in the garden, just like he suspected, but there's no mention of a father.
He was about to ask about him when the child pulled her face away from him and pointed at the bowl of porridge while babbling.Â
The nursemaid that tried to feed her let out a relieved sigh and quickly picked the bowl. She put the spoon in front of her mouth, but to the dismay of everyone in the room, she turned her face away.
âMay I?â Baelor asks, lifting his hand.
The nursemaid passed him the spoon, and he put it in front of the child's mouth. The baby girl chased the spoon and ate the porridge. She opened her mouth wanting more. Baelor scooped another bit of the porridge and repeated the process.
Baelor hummed at her.
âCan I⊠can I have a moment alone with her?â
âOf course, we'll be in the room right next to you.â
The nursemaids left, and it was just him and her.
Baelor sat himself and Hyacinth on the rug and continued to feed her. She happily took every spoon without hesitation. Once in a while she would stop and smile at him. And Baelor couldnât help but smile back at her.
When there's nothing left, he gets out his handkerchief and wipes the remaining porridge stuck to her mouth. The handkerchief has hyacinths embroidered on it. He found it inside his pockets when departing Ashford.Â
He takes a closer look at the child.
He couldn't help but think she looked familiar.Â
She has mismatched eyes like him and Valarr. Her hair was jet black, curled in a way that reminded him of his mother's hair.
Hyacinth got up and walked to him. She placed her hands on his shoulder and looked at him expectantly.Â
âWhat is it that you want, little lady?âÂ
She huffed.
Then Baelor remembered what the lady in the garden said about her daughter.Â
He started singing quietly.Â
Hyacinth relaxed and laid her head on his shoulder. Baelor put his hand on her back and laid her on his lap. She was so small. He continued to sing. He liked this song. When he was a tiny lad, the maesters would give him and his brothers songs to translate. This one became his favourite. He liked the story behind it, the love a father had for his child that he flew higher and picked all the stars in the sky for his daughter.
Hyacinth was sleeping peacefully.
Baelor carefully laid her in the cot and looked at her, not knowing how to feel. His mind was reaching an horrendous conclusion.Â
...
âAnd he stayed?â
âFor a bit, my lady.â The nurse maid explained. âAfter he tucked her in and called us back inside, he left but not before telling us to call for him if little Hyacinth needed a Prince to feed her porridge again.â
The nursemaids laughed, and you laughed as well. You could cry from happiness.Â
You looked at your daughter, who was in your arms munching on her doll. She looked well rested and happy.Â
âAnd you took your first steps, my little princess?â You laughed. âOf course the first person you would walk to was your papa.âÂ
You brought her closer to you. You could smell Baelor on her. The familiar scents of ink and parchment.Â
âMy cheeky little girl. Maybe it's you who is going to bring him back to us.â
...
Baelor paced back in and forward in his study.
A headache was going through his head worse than the others.
He did not know how to feel. Anger? Disappointment? Disgust? All of it?
Why did he do it?
How could've he done it?
Where did he fail?
Baelor thought Valarr better than this!
He was a small child when the BlackfyreÂ
Valarr was a young child when the Blackfyre Rebellion happened but old enough to remember the reason for why his father was fighting.Â
So, why did he sire a bastard?Â
And why are you here walking around the castle like you belong to House Targaryen?
Baelor understands Valarrâs need for wanting his daughter nearby, but his mistress?Â
Has he gone mad?Â
Why would he do this to his wife?Â
Does he go to her chambers in the middle of the night and sneak into her bed?
Baelor takes a deep breath and asks the guard to get his son.
