The beginning
Have you ever noticed, what kinds of things inspire you to write more often? As for me, unfortunately, the muse almost always visits me on the verge of some unpleasant breakdown. In high school I wrote typical poems about sad emotional stuff, then in the university I started a diary which included several entries of some miserable days. I am for real a terrible writer.
And now it’s no different. Last night I couldn't sleep. I cried a little out of nowhere. I had strange compulsive emotions. I said it was out of nowhere, because I didn't expect myself to plunge in such a state. But in reality I knew what it was all about. It was a snowball of my insecurities, weaknesses and flaws of my current lifestyle.
I take this pen in hope of improvement. I'm not sure yet, if tumblr is a suitable place for such a thing. But anyway, I want this place to become my new diary and a measure to control my lifestyle.
I’m not in depression or something. I can leave everything as it is, have several breakdown nights and pretend it’s OK most of the time. But it’s not working well anymore. This bad days just mess up everything.
So, here’s my plan. There’re several areas for improvement in my life. I’ll highlight points,that make me stressed. I’ll make a list of actions for each direction and try to follow these steps. May be it will be something like week challenges to do the particular task, it’s a popular format nowadays. But I won’t do it for someone’s amusement. I will do it for myself. I’m not planning to make money of it. I just really want to renew my life. And if my struggles seem close to any occasional reader, I will be happy to discuss it.
By the way, if I make any stupid language mistakes, please correct me. I’m not a native speaker. But I prefer to write in English, because I like English and also I believe that English-speaking audience has more experience in terms of healthy lifestyle. And again, this way I can address to people all around the world and my own countrymen at the same time.
Time to post this. In next post I try to share the main causes of my frustration in life and what I want to do with all this.