Jasper X Fem!Human!reader dating headcanons. SFW + NSFW because i'm a pervert. 18+ so minors DNI for my safety and yours.
word count: roughly 1,900 something. Wanted to make this cuz i'm horny and I need an excuse to take myself out of writer's block for ao3. Anyways enjoy. uhh this is F/F but it doesnt exclude transfemme lesbians obviously because they rule too so i'll try to make the genital area as gender neutral or stating both M and F genitals. Peace and Love! :-) TW: Some toxic themes because this jasper we're talking about, duh.
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One of her toxic traits is that she can NOT trust you to go anywhere that she deems is dangerous in the slightest. This will border on like stalking so what would happen is if you wanted to go to Little Homeworld without her, after some begging she'd reluctantly "let you go", little do you know she's still following your ass LMAOOO. She's not very subtle either it's just you're quite oblivious to it until she comes out of the shadows and arguing due to you interacting with the crystal gems.
Despite living on earth, she does not put in much effort to acclimatize towards earth's culture and anything human related. If you tried explaining to her customs, jokes, different cultures etc - it'd probably fly into one ear and out the other. She'd only put in the effort if it DIRECTLY affects you. Other than that she's as awkward about human knowledge as a regular homeworld gem.
If she ever discovered that Steven can fuse with Connie, she'd ignore the fact that Steven is half human and go straight to trying to fuse with you (despite you being human). When it does fail, she gets incredibly frustrated and gives you the silent treatment because to her - you're choosing to not fuse with her despite being in a relationship with her. Something something throw back to lapis.
On a less toxic note: She is incredibly cuddly behind closed doors. In public, she wouldn't want to do ANYTHING physical with you whatsoever due to the fear of being seen as 'weak' (imagine that one clip of donald trump trying to hold the pope's hand). Even if you try to force her to hold your hand, she won't hesitate to pretend that you are a stranger. However, in your home she LOVES being next to you. She's kind of like a cat (to be honest most earth gems are like that, talking about cat-eyes amethyst in the earlier seasons). Jasper doesn't even really know why she's like that, whenever you point it out how she loves being in your proximity she'll deny it over and over and scoff at you like you're going insane... whilst laying her head in your lap and holding your hand.
She likes getting her hair pet and scratched. She sometimes even lets out involuntary groans of pleasure (not in that way.) at the feeling of your finger scratching against her scalp. Catgirl Jasper propaganda.
She's a bit shy with kisses. Because kissing is a human behaviour, her kisses can be very rough and sudden - especially on the lips. This is why she rarely initiates it and just prefers it when you do it instead. When you do initiate it, she gets very stiff and shy about it. She can handle cheek kisses and hand kisses better though and unless you are like 7 feet tall, that'll probably be the most common due to height difference.
It took her a while to understand that humans need to eat to have energy and to sustain their body. I'd like to imagine this kind of interaction:
"Hey Jasper... Am I getting fatter?..."
"Yes. This is why food is inefficient and light is the best method to gaining energy." --> proceeds to convince her human girlfriend to go photosynthesise outside with her.
If you ever complain about body pains from anything ranging chronic pain to just being tired from a hike, she will YELL at you to keep on going and that the pain just means that you're training hard and that if you push through the pain you'll get stronger. Imagine: Reader and Jasper are on a hike together and reader states that her legs hurt and that they should turn around to go back to the car. Jasper proceeds to force her to walk another 5 kilometres or so before reader collapses and Jasper thinks "Hm... maybe she wasn't lying..."
Although she sucks with many love languages, her top two are gift giving and acts of service. She is a gem soldier after all. Tell her to get something? She's back in a nanosecond. Ask her to take the trash out? She hurling that thing into the ocean (no concept of how bins work). In a time of need, she'd gladly do anything for you to show you that she does care about you and that she appreciates what life she has been begrudgingly given. Gift-giving is more-so her bringing anything she thinks is cool to the reader. Cool shiny rock? Now it's yours. Cool skull? Now it's yours. Somebody's lost wallet? You just got like 53 bucks for free.
Whenever you try asking her about Homeworld, she ignores the questions LOUDLY. What I mean by that is if you ask her like a personal question about Homeworld, she'd probably just stare at you for a second before walking away. It's not that she doesn't want to tell you. It's just that the last time she did try explaining how Homeworld was like and what her position was, you were completely lost. Jasper promised herself to not waste her time by trying to explain 4D concepts to a being that has only lived with 3D concepts iykwim. If you try confronting to her about this, there's a 50/50 chance she'll outright say it's because she thinks you're too stupid to understand gem history and concepts.
okay.. time for some NSFW stuff..
Stone power top. I'm sorry, as much as I'd love to go for bottom submissive jasper agenda or even top sub, I just can't see it with her. The closest you'll get with her is a service top. I think it's just that obviously sex to a gem is an abstract concept because they don't have sex. Thus, she doesn't receive the exact pleasure that humans do during intercourse. Her main goal during sex is to make YOU feel good. If you try to initiate anything sexy that would work for humans, she'd just look confused at you. Grab her crotch and she'll ask if you're trying to kill a bug off of her. HOWEVER..
I don't want to leave her completely dry so I'll say that she has that common Steven Universe NSFW trope of having a 'sensitive' gem. Give her a nose job or something and she'd probably enjoy it a lot more than she realises. The gem clit. The Glit one might say. Additionally, when she does the equivalent of "cumming", what happens is her physical body becomes unstable and like glitches out a little. The overwhelming pleasure of the gem being rubbed makes it difficult for her to continue projecting light into a physical hologram, thus she twitches and shakes crazy.
Speaking of her physical hologram, you can throw away that dusty old strap because Jasper can easily just manifest one onto her body. Pretty handy trick eh? She can also manifest a pussy if you so wish. (This is for my transfem dolls out there who wanna fuck her too).
Sit on her face. Trust me it is probably the best position for both of you. On one hand, you're getting your pussy or ass ate, on the other hand your crotch is rubbing against her gem on her nose which makes her feel amazing. So ride that butch gem!
She LOVES it when you're loud, both in public and private sex. If you guys decide to have sex in the woods, she'll force her fingers into your mouth to keep them open and loud whilst she pounds you from the back or front. If you try to resist, she'll scold you for shutting up and go even harder till you're screaming. Jasper's not that worried about getting caught, as she is a gem soldier after all! If she spots anybody, she'll just quickly move spots with you. If you guys just have sex indoors, she'll make it so that the quieter you are, the less harder she fucks you so that you end up begging and whining for her to pound into you. She'll also gladly choke you out if you so want to.
Jasper has tits... just no nipples... I don't know why this sounds so canon but it does. They're just fat mounds. Fat mounds to hold. She'll gladly hold yours too! In fact, she does enjoy using your tits for leverage and for warmth since she can't produce heat on her own obviously so it's an interesting feeling for her. I think she's a tit girl in general, big or small she likes resting and sleeping her head against your chest because that's where your heart is, and the heart makes sure that you can even become warm in the first place.
I don't think she'd be one for anything like Wet and Messy, but she doesn't mind if you cum all over her. Headcanon that she doesn't have taste buds so to her it's just fluid. All fluid no flavour.
Her favourite poses are doggy, cowgirl, full nelson (if you are capable), and missionary. She's a basic girl, so she likes any pose that she can impose some form of power over you. Cowgirl is included in this because she can easily use you like a fleshlight.
Another thing that's her favourite is when she's going down on you, and you shake from the pleasure and clamp your legs around her head and just squeeze it. God she loves it. It's really hot for her and she doesn't know why... But I do! It's because it's one of the only times where she can see first hand the strength of some of your muscles, and well muscles and strength = sexy for her.
As much as I'd like to say she's a chubby chaser, I think her preference in dating girls are they have to be either OVERweight or UNDERweight. The reason why is because most of the time women who are over or under the average ideal weight will be more likely to have insecurities over it, to which Jasper can exploit. She'll gladly throw in a few backhanded compliments, especially during sex, about your body in order to keep you doubting yourself. It's a conflicting state of mind really, your girlfriend who makes sweet love to you and clings on to you also points out the things that make you feel less human.
To finish off (because I need to go sleep), aftercare. Aftercare is.. subpar at first. After you cum, she sits there confused as fuck on what to do with you. Does she leave? Does she stay? Does she continue??? After a failed aftercare session, you'll have to sit her down and explain to her the human customs of behaviour after sex and just the concept of after care. After that, aftercare with her feels like she's just checking off a big list of what she's done correct and not, kind of like a routine. She'll definitely cuddle with you, but mainly because she's tired too and wants to rest for a little bit in the sun/moonlight (charging her gem, am I right?). Don't expect any words of affirmations from her unless you ask for some directly. One thing I'll say is that she notices that after sex, her beloved reader becomes much more emotional and clingy so during aftercare she's VERYYY careful with what she says and does. Probably the only time where you'd be able to get away with some things that you usually don't when not fucking.
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Thanks for reading this hornypost guys. I wanted to write this on a whim and I'm aware that my postal dude headcanons on ao3 are post-poned for a moment. Just been chudding out for the summer and i remembered how much I love that sexy toxic butch jasper.
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