Inside Thoughts

These are all thoughts and poems based on my personal experiences throughout life, I hope you enjoy this blog, and that these thoughts inspire you as well.

[mytrueescape]

“Third time’s the charm? 

More like three strikes, you’re out.”

-I thought that this time would be different, I guess not. January 12, 2017. (via mytrueescape)

[mytrueescape]

Fresh Start

It's New Year's Eve. 3. 2. 1. The fireworks roar like the shot of a gun. Everyone chants "Happy New Year!" Some kiss, some embrace. After it all quiets down, I head outside, To a quiet place. I see the lights from fireworks in the distance, I hear the fading pops and booms, And even though this new year scares me, It's a new, fresh start, And it's something that can't be tainted by you.

-m.k.h (via mytrueescape)

[mytrueescape]

“I want to hug him. Not one of those goodbye hugs that lasts a second, or one of those “Hello friend” hugs, but one of those warm, caring hugs. You know the ones. The “Haven’t seen you in a while, I missed you” hugs or the “I really care about you” hugs. They’re the hugs that linger, that make you feel like you belong. They aren’t uncomfortable or awkward in any way. I want one of those, because, his arms, even though I’ve only ever been in them momentarily, are one place that has ever really felt safe and warm and peaceful to me in so long.”

-I just want to feel loved by him. November 20, 2016. (via mytrueescape)

[mytrueescape]

He looks at me, And I see his soul.

He is so pure, Completely whole on his own.

-m.k.h. (via mytrueescape)

[mytrueescape]

"I spent a few hours with him. It was great. He was a gentleman, very kind and chivalrous. He treated me well, kept up the conversation, however I felt as though he was only looking at me from a friendship standpoint. I accepted this, and I let it go. Of course, I was disappointed, thinking he would have done something to show me he was interested within the time we spent together, but he didn’t, so I needed to let it go. However, the next day, when we saw each other again, something seemed different, as though something in him had shifted. Now I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to get my hopes up, especially since I am so unsure of how he feels. After all, he is so perfect, how could he ever fall for someone like me?”

-I wonder if he feels just as confused by me. November 16, 2016. (via mytrueescape)

[mytrueescape]

Life

Once in a while, We all have those days. You know the ones.

Your alarm didn’t go off. You don’t have time to wash your hair. You can’t find matching socks. Your car is acting up. You get caught in traffic. Your presentation isn’t complete. You have multiple meetings scheduled at the same time.

And somehow, it all seems to happen at once.

Those are the bad days. They are hard, They make us angry, They cause us to cry, But they also make us appreciate those good days, The days when everything seems to go right.

Your hair is perfect, Your eyeliner is even, Your coffee is perfectly mixed. You have time to breathe, You keep busy, And you see him and smile.

Those days, The good, As well as the bad, Make up this crazy thing we call Life.

And man, Isn’t it grand?

-m.k.h. (via mytrueescape)

[mytrueescape]

“I feel so inadequate. He is everything I ever wanted and more. I never would have seen myself with someone so perfect as he is, but now he is all the only one I can see myself with. I am so tainted by my past, but he looks at me as if I have never been broken. I wonder if he sees right through me, or if he even cares enough to look.” -Does he really care, or is it all an act? November 11, 2016. (via mytrueescape)

[mytrueescape]

Someone Like Me

One moment, I’m happy- On top of the world even- But then the fear strikes me, And doubt sets in.

There is no way he could ever Have feelings For someone like me. He’s too good for me- So intelligent, So well spoken- He couldn’t possibly fall For the girl with the messy hair Who seems to trip over her words.

He couldn’t ever love Someone like me.

-m.k.h. (via mytrueescape)

[mytrueescape]

“I can really see a future with him… In the last relationship I had, I now realize that I didn’t see a future, I made one. We forced it, I forced it to work, but you shouldn’t have to force a relationship to work, it just ruins it.”

-Something I realized when talking to my friend. November 8, 2016. (via mytrueescape)

[mytrueescape]

What Love Should Be

I don’t feel nervous, I feel excited.

I don’t feel scared, I feel safe.

I don’t feel judged, I feel excepted.

I feel happy, care-free, light-hearted, and all these feelings are new to me.

-m.k.h.

(via mytrueescape)

[mytrueescape]

Pointless

Literature, What is it? Some people say writing, Or a piece with value. I think that it’s A piece that reflects  The author’s thoughts To the reader.

Why do we write? Some may say That they write Simply for pleasure, Or to express their thoughts. I think that secretly, All writers want their work To be read By someone other than themselves. They want to see If they have communicated Their ideas, Thoughts, And emotions clearly enough To make the reader Feel what they are feeling.

If a writer’s work Isn’t read by others, What is the point?

What is the point of Speaking if no one will listen? What is the point of Writing if no one will read? What is the point of Singing if no one can hear?

There is no point.

-m.k.h (via mytrueescape)

[mytrueescape]

He was always attractive to me.

He was just a beautiful person in general. He had the chiseled jawline, beautiful frosty sea-blue eyes, and the hair that just naturally fell the right way. However, he was more than just physically attractive.

He had a magnetic personality, as though the everyone in the world was instantly drawn to him just by the goodness you could see in his eyes. Not a single soul ever disliked him.

His intelligence, though slightly intimidating at first, never was belittling. He spoke so eloquently, it was as though literature flowed from his tongue. When you would speak with him, it was as though you were the only person in the world, his attention was solely on you. It was almost as if solely by conversing with him, about simply any topic, no matter the importance, that all the world’s problems would fade into the background, and the only people on earth were the two of you.

Those were the things that most people would be able to notice after just a few moments with him, and they aren’t wrong. However, after spending more and more time with him, my interests began to grow deeper.

He had a character that is nearly impossible to imagine without experiencing it. He was always polite, and never spoke harshly about anyone. He would look at all people with the same amount of respect, and treat them as though he did. He would smile at people in passing, and his eyes would smile too. He would say hello to the people who would seem to feel forgotten, and he would be thankful for each and every opportunity presented to him.

Then I started to see the little things. I began to notice how he would cock his eyebrow when puzzled, and how he would run his had through his hair while concentrating. I would see the way he would rest his head on his hand while contemplating. I noticed the way his face would brighten when he would turn and come to the realization that I was the one who had called his name. I caught on to the phrases he would use, and sometimes his jargon would even slip into my conversations. The way his brow would knit just slightly while he was studying a particular page, and the faint freckles just near his hairline by his right cheek bone, how he would say my name, and his slight little smirk when I would become tongue-tied while speaking to him, they all began to captivate me.

-That’s when I realized, it’s the little things that make us fall. October 21, 2016. (via mytrueescape)

[mytrueescape]

Time

Thirty-seven minutes. Just thirty-seven minutes, Until I can see you again, Until I can see your smile, Until I can feel the vibration of your laugh, Until I can hear the happiness in your voice.

Now there are thirty-five minutes left. Thirty-five minutes left to wonder, Wonder if you think about me, Wonder if you can’t get me out of your head, Wonder if you feel the same, Wonder if you are counting down the minutes, too.

Just a half hour left now, And the doubts start flooding in, Doubting that you love me, Doubting that you want to spend time with me, Doubting that you feel the same.

Twenty-five minutes now, And the butterflies start, As I think of how I’ll see you soon And I’ll see the sparkle in your eyes.

Twenty minutes, And my heart fill with hope, Hoping that you haven’t changed, Hoping that you’ll be waiting for me.

Fifteen minutes left, And I start to get nervous, My palms start to sweat, My stomach does back flips, My heart pounds in my chest.

Ten minutes now, And I’m starting to be giddy Thinking of your face.

Five minutes left, And I start longing to feel your hand in mine.

One minute left,  And all of my emotions run high. Wonder, doubt, hope, And everything else, All swirling around inside of me.

Just seconds left now,  As I compose myself, The time comes.

Then I see your smiling face, And your kind eyes, Scanning the crowd, Until they lock with mine.

Your smile grows wider, And I start to blush, As you make your way through the crowd, And you are soon looking down at me. Then you say, With that bright smile, “Hey, I’ve missed you.” And I knew you could tell That I missed you, too.

-m.k.h (via mytrueescape)

[mytrueescape]

“It's like I'm afraid to fall in love, because every time I do, I let my guard down, only to be hurt again. It's like I'm afraid to be happy, because every time I am, someone comes and tears me down again. It's like I'm afraid to show the real me, because every time I do, people judge me again. It's like I'm afraid to stand up for myself, because every time I do, I realize that the things I say to defend myself I don't truly believe, and I give in to what they say to hurt me again.”

-Heartbreak changes people, and it sure as hell changed me. 2016. (via mytrueescape)

[mytrueescape]

Happiness

What is happiness? People find their happiness in different places. Some find it in books, or movies. Others find it in sports, or hard work.

What is your happiness? Is it your coffee on a rainy day? Is it your favorite song playing on the radio? Is it the A+ on your math test? Is it the pair of new shoes you got at the mall?

We all need to find our happiness. I didn’t think I would, That is, Until I met you. 

-m.k.h (via mytrueescape)

[mytrueescape]

“I try to change myself for you,  But you say you don’t want me to.”

-I just want to be my best for you. 2014. (via mytrueescape)

[mytrueescape]

Irony

He loves me, I don't love him, I love another, Who is his best friend. It's hard, this life, Because the one I love Loves my best friend. Isn't this ironic enough?! My, oh my, This is hard. We had something once, But I broke his heart. He's over me, I'm not over him, And the one who loves me, Once loved my best friend.

-m.k.h (via mytrueescape)