renegadecassidyâ:
Even as an awkwardly cold sensation spread over her body she couldnât help but smile up at Nicky. Everything about him made her being sing, of course sheâd never say such a thing out loud to him. She liked their close relationship which was hard to pin down with a definition. They were just Nicky and Cass, always and forever doing their own thing, definitions were pointless. She watched him look down at Aspen and her heart stopped beating for a moment. Sheâd tried so hard to keep them separate knowing that if he ever saw the little girl it might upset things between them. Having Aspen had been Cassidyâs choice, a choice made after sheâd spent time with him on tour outside of Muddy Waters.
Days of them in a darkened room, drinking each other in came to a quick halt when she realized she could be pregnant. in the night, sheâd packed what little things sheâd brought and left their little sanctuary without so much as a goodbye. Instinctively she knew heâd never want to be a father, and it surprised Cass how much she, herself, had wanted to be a parent.
She let a chuckle leave her lips at his statement. âAnd what a subject you would be.â She said, scrunching her nose at him. âYou want to sit?â She waited for a moment, before looking down at Aspen. âSitting down doesnât mean anything changesâŠand trust meâŠshe wonât know the difference.â She looked down at his guitar, a knowing look in her eyes.
âI bet if I get the lighting just rightâŠI could catch the way the sun glints on your guitarâŠâ She said, her voice lilting, almost taunting him.
Things were easy with Cass, at least usually. Even with the complication that was the baby, it hadnât proved to be much of one until this moment because she was always willing (or at least, he could always convince her) to leave the baby and home and come have fun with him. Having fun was pretty much their MO, though it could be said that it was Nickyâs all the time, and thatâs all heâd thought it was when sheâd run into him on tour over a year ago now. There was something magnetic about the two of them, at least when they were together, so theyâd spent days practically in one room, just being together, and they were still good memories. Nicky didnât even think heâd gotten high as much with her there, since sheâd been his new drug for the time being. There was always something about Cass, ever since they were kids, that had drawn him in. She, of all the people heâd been with, was the one he was always happy to come back to, to keep being with, even if it was in an unofficial way. Nicky tried not to analyse feelings too much but even he knew Cass held a special spot in his life and maybe even his heart. It wouldnât do to say that out loud, though, why ruin the good thing they had?Â
He had wondered what the deal was when sheâd just up and vanished, though, since even through their many times of coming together and parting again, it was almost always on amicable terms and not so sudden. It had put him in a little bit of a funk before he dove headfirst back into his crazy life and managed to put it behind him. It wasnât until heâd moved back to Muddy, after the accident, that heâd figured out (or rather, been shown) why sheâd done it, and he supposed it made sense. Nicky didnât want to be a father, even if he was now in some, nominal way, and Cass had clearly known that about him.Â
His smile widened as she played along with his distraction technique. âThe best one youâve ever had, obviously.â He balked a moment when she asked him to sit down, shooting another almost panicky look at the baby, but swallowed when she reassured him to some extent. âYeah, okay, sure. Might as well.â He moved and settled on Cassâ other side, about as far away from Aspen as he could get. Maybe he could just ignore her. Truth be told, Nicky didnât really know how he felt about having a child, other than awkward and vaguely frightened, so he just tried to not think about it and Cass put no pressure on him so it was made a lot easier.Â
Nicky heard her tease and glanced down at his guitar case, forcing himself to smile though it probably wouldnât fool her. âCould you? I donât know, itâs pretty cloudy today...â His tone was convincing, but his expression probably wasnât. Damn, he shouldâve taken more pills, or mixed them with something else. But maybe Cass being here would keep him from taking the guitar out of the case and give him something else to focus on.Â







