Apocalypse with König
Part 1
Part 2: word count: 13127
Trigger warnings: gore, vomiting, death
Obviously this took an age to come so my bad. 😭
You're in the kitchen when you hear the door open and his heavy footsteps, whilst you’re cutting up the vegetables for tonight's soup. “Maus?” He shouts for you while he stomps off the dirt on his boots. Today's a hunting day so he's been gone for a couple of hours.
You don't have any jobs for today (other than cooking for later), so earlier you decided you wanted to go take a look in the loft. König says he hasn't been in there, that he doesn't have it in him to go looking and make the former residents more human. He says it's easier if all they are is an infected couple. You don't blame him but you've been itching for something to do.
It's not that life's boring here, you have plenty to do your share of the gardening, the cooking, the cleaning and König is teaching you to shoot so you have that too. Since your arm is fully healed you help out with the wood every so often but you can't really say your skills have improved much since the last time.
It's just not enough, you still have long unfilled periods of time that just drag on for ages. Since you've read the book you packed almost 100 times now you don't feel like reading it anymore, what you've really been itching to do is sew. You're hoping if you go up there you might find a needle and thread. There are so many things that need taking in and almost all of Königs clothes are holey, not that you care because you don't.
“In here.” You call back to him as you pour the chopped carrots and pumpkin into the pot on the gas stove -you'll cook it later. You hear the rustle of him taking his coat off, maybe the mask too. You didn't see him before he left this morning so he probably went early.
“Get anything?” You ask when he appears in the doorway, he nods and holds up two hares. Before putting them down to check the canister of gas you're currently using. He’ll move the pot over the fire later to boil.
“Found deer tracks too so I might go out again this week.” He sounds pleased about it so you smile, when you hear the back door shut you make a beeline for the loft.
You found the key earlier that week, that was when you found out König wasn't ever going up there. He hasn't told you that you can't go, so you figure you'll just ask for forgiveness instead of permissionit's easier that way.
You're hit with the smell of dust when you open the door. You're not really sure what you're looking for, just something to do. Maybe a sewing kit would be ideal but that's probably wishful thinking. It's probably just a bunch of old boxes, maybe family photos, probably a large colony of spiders.
You're going to look regardless. You need something or at least to know that there's nothing.
You spend over an hour up there, searching through boxes and crates. Looking in black bags, that are so full they're almost bursting at the seams, and , yes, a decent amount of your searching was spent panicking every time you touched a cobweb.
You haven't found anything of note: some dusty pairs of curtains, a moth eaten suit and a bunch of old bed clothes. You only have a few boxes left and what is probably a few paintings in the corner under a sheet.
The last few boxes are fruitless. There's nothing in them so sewing, at least for now, is out the window.
You try not to let it get you down and go to check what paintings are under the sheet, when you pull the sheet off you try not to choke on the cloud of dust that it makes.
Turns out that the ‘paintings’ aren't paintings, it's a gramophone with a small stack of records. You smile as you run your fingers over the cold metal, the edges of the wood are chipped and worn. You wonder how long it's been there for -maybe it still works? The house has solar panels not that König uses the electricity for anything but maybe he would make an exception. You hear him humming all the time, so maybe he would like some actual music.
You are about to try hauling the thing down the stairs yourself when you hear his voice ring through the halls again. Clearly, he's done with the hares now and that's when you realise how long it's taking you to look through all of the boxes.
“In the loft!” You shout down to him hoping he can hear you. You're met with silence for far too long before he finally answers.
“Why?” You can tell he's coming up to you because you hear the stairs and floorboards creak under his weight.
You sigh when you hear his footsteps stop at the door, unsure if he's annoyed or genuinely curious. It's not like you expected him to be overjoyed but you didn't really want to upset him either
“Got a surprise, will you come up?” You again, get no answer but you're distracted this time by a tickle on your arm. You look down to find a spider crawling up your arm, you can't stop yourself from screaming.
König is up the stairs before you get time to call for him. “Maus.” He scans you, concerned that you could have hurt yourself.
“Get it off, get it off, get it off!!” You flail your spider free arm until you feel the warmth of Königs presence near you.
“Don't kill it though.” König stops moving and gives you a puzzled glance.
“But you're scared of it?” You nod holding your arm out for him to finally take the spider off of you. You feel his hand reach your arm again and when you next look down there's no spider.
“And why can't I kill it?” He looks between you and his clasped palms and you frown.
Your brows furrow and you don't even think before you say it. “Because..” you quickly think of a suitable name “That's Ted. You can't kill Ted. What if he has a family?” You feel your cheeks heat the minute it comes, your mum would make you do it as a kid to stop you from freaking out but it feels childish now.
“Ted?” He raises an eyebrow and you feel the flush on your cheeks spread up to your ears.
He gives you a bit of a lopsided grin and an exaggerated sigh. “Well, I suppose since it's Ted, I'll go put him in the garden.”
He's still looking at his hands, clasped around the spider you've dubbed Ted. “Why are you up here anyway? Other than invading Ted's territory.”
You shrug. “Guess I was looking for something to do.”
He frowns. “like what?”
“I don't know a sewing kit or something.”
He nods and takes a quick glance around the loft then he nods again for you to follow him. You do as he asks, not entirely sure where he's going.
He leads you outside “Alright Maus. Where do you want him?” He gives you a genuine smile and you feel that familiar heat rising to your cheeks again. It doesn't mean anything though, obviously.
You nod to a bush in the corner of the garden and the two of you say goodbye to Ted before könig takes you back inside.
He goes up to his room and you follow, assuming he wants to grab something or show you something. You've never been up there, in all of your time being here his room kind of seems like a huge step so you wait at the door while he digs around.
His room isn't dissimilar to yours, it's the same shape but maybe a bit smaller. The furniture is just as pretty and the walls are a pale yellow. It looks a lot more lived in then yours did, obviously. Since he's been living in it.
He's digging around in a chest, in the center of the room, at the foot of the bed. He's so hunched over it's funny because he looks a bit like a creature from a movie.
He eventually turns back around holding a dainty metal box. You trace your fingers over the little flower designs on it, when you open the box all that's in there are a few needles and a spool of black thread. You smile appreciating the gesture even if it isn't much.
“Uhm there's a craft shop not far from here.” He seems to pick up on what you think, or thought was well-hidden disappointment.
You give him a sheepish smile and shake, feeling guilty for coming off ungrateful.
“You don't have to do that, this is nice.” You look down at the box, you really do appreciate it. Even though it's not much, it's enough to sew up a few things, maybe take in some of the clothes in the wardrobe and fix some of Königs. Again not because you like him or anything, just for practical reasons. Plus the box is gorgeous.
He shrugs but you smile at him and go to put the box somewhere safe. At least you can start patching things up now, you have something else you can do that's still useful. You stay in your room for a while just looking at the box, it was sweet of him and you really do like it.
Eventually, you start on dinner the window above the sink faces the setting sun so the kitchen is always bathed in the beautiful orange glow. You put the finishing things in the pot before König hoists it up like it's nothing and puts it over the wood burning fire in the living room and goes back to the garden.
You can hear König pottering about in the garden. He's got a habit of talking to himself, usually in German. You figure it's because he's been alone for so long, you find yourself doing it too from time to time but you always wonder what he's talking about. If he forgets that you can hear him from inside. Some people would say it's cute, not you though. Obviously.
Eventually you have to call him in to eat, you can't help but smile because he jumps when he hears your voice. It's not cute that he’s so caught up in his own world, or at least you tell yourself that.
You completely forget about the gramophone in the loft, much more focused on the prospect of being able to take in your clothes so they finally fit and maybe, just maybe, patch up some of Königs.
Dinner is quiet as usual but it's comfortable. Neither of you are particularly chatty. König never has been and you sort of just fell into the routine of that and it's not like life is particularly exciting at the moment, you already know exactly what goes on in each other's days. Sometimes though, you think he might want to talk at dinner, just from how he looks at you.
It's not like when you were on the road, you would have had stories to tell him every night back then. Not that you would rather be on the road, sleeping in a bed and actually feeling safe beats having stuff to talk about.
The next day you offer to do the laundry, not because you specifically want to but if you do it’ll make patching up Königs clothes a little easier. All of the holes in them must be uncomfortable and you need to ‘thank him’ for giving you the box in the first place.
You realise, as you pick through his clothes, just how many have holes in. Some of his socks are more hole than sock and there are some hefty tears in some of his t-shirts, ones you couldn't fix without patches. You let yourself think about how he would look with little mismatched patches of fabric littering his shirts, the image makes you smile but only because it's funny. Not for other reasons.
You start on some of the socks, stitching the holes back together. You always hated holy socks. They feel tiny little toe strangulation devices, so you're glad for the chance to fix some of yours too.
You spend most of that day sewing all of the little holes in his clothes, and some of yours but mostly his. Just as a thank you, nothing more. He probably won't even notice so it's not that big of a deal.
You sit in the kitchen with him while he cooks that night.
“There's berries in the woods around this time.” You didn't really expect him to talk, he never really does when he cooks. He says he likes to focus on it, since he doesn't really know what he's doing. He's never really enjoyed it but it's a necessity so there isn't any getting around it.
You hum in response, he's been talking about finding someone who has flour since you enjoy cooking at least a little more than he does. It would give you something else to do when you're bored. You figure you can go with him next time he goes hunting.
So you do. The next time he goes out, you walk a little bit behind him as he leads you to his normal spot. This is where you assume he saw the deer a few days back, you just about catch when he nods towards the brambles behind you.
You remember as a kid you would go out and pick blackberries with your grandparents, your grandma would make crumble when you got back home. You always liked seeing them, getting to be out of the city. Now you live out of the city and it's nice, but in a way it's bittersweet. You miss the familiarity of being with relatives, you miss your mum really.
Originally, you didn't have to think about how much you had lost, being on the road and then mad at König, and then busy getting used to life again you never really got the chance to think about it but now that everything is slowing down it's getting harder to ignore.
For now picking berries will have to do. You suppose it's a good enough distraction, König sets up near you. You think he did so he could see you, or at least hear you.
Your run in with that infected boy still rests heavy on your mind, you can't count how many times you've woken up in the middle of the night. How many times König has had to shake you awake, how many nights he has sat with you. In that same chair, sometimes he would still be there when you woke up. His neck craned uncomfortably but even when you would wake him up he wouldn't say anything about it. Wouldn't bring it up unless you did, he'd just sit when you needed him and let you be when you didn't.
You appreciate him really, you at least feel safer when he's around. You can hear him mumbling to himself while he lies in the grass. You remember him saying something about wanting to be a sniper which explains his steady hand. You didn't ask what he actually ended up doing but imagine it wasn't that, he's probably too tall.
Picking berries turns out to be pretty therapeutic, that is until you're reaching into the brambles to grab another blackberry. You manage to prick yourself, so you pull your hand back but more thorns get stuck in your skin.
You hiss as blood trickles down your arm around the thorns. You don't even hear him come over but a gloved hand wraps around your wrist.
“You lost a fight to a bush Maus?” He muses, looking down at you.
You press your hand to your chest in mock offense. “Hey, the bush came out just as bad!”
You try not to smile when you catch his smirk. You want to tell him it's fine but it's nice that he cares so much. You try telling him you can walk back to the house on your own, which you can but he insists. So the two of you walk back in a peaceful silence, you don't really know how to bring up that he hasn't let go of your wrist and you're not entirely sure you mind that he's still holding on.
He only lets go when he opens the front door, you don't realise how warm his hand was until it's gone. He leaves you in the kitchen and comes back with a cloth and some water, again it's not like you need the help but he's clearly set on helping.
You don't need him to but he cleans the cuts anyway and as a thank you, you end up cooking that night.
You also make it your mission to sew up as many clothes of his as you could because they'd be uncomfortable otherwise, at least you tell yourself that.
You spend a good few days patching up holes and gashes with scraps of old tea towels and some of his less salvageable socks. You sew so much that you actually run out of thread, you also managed to bend one of your needles on a particularly tough jacket.
König doesn't mention the clothes that you patched up over the next few weeks, everything stays exactly how it was. You alternate shifts making dinner and doing laundry, you sometimes join him on hunting trips so you can keep learning how to shoot.
You accidentally let it slip that you're out of thread and you bent a needle, just in idle conversation. You don't even mean anything by it but now you're in the kitchen trying to talk König out of an unplanned trip to a retail park that he says is across the motorway.
He assures you that it will be fine, that it's a quick trip and he's made it hundreds of times before and then when that doesn't work he says there's other stuff he needs to get anyway, that he's being needing to go on a supply run and where better than a retail park?
You spend just as much time trying to tell him it's fine and attempting, and failing, to convince him that he doesn't need to go. At the point that it almost turns into an actual argument he yields but tells you he'll have to go at some point regardless.
The day after is quite heated, you don't really know why the idea of him leaving you here pissed you off quite so much. Especially as he would be coming back, maybe you're still not used to this place. Or at least not as used to it as you thought.
It's your turn to make dinner that night so you take your anger out on the spread of vegetables for yet another soup, you're getting a bit sick of soup but it's really the easiest option. You did try to suggest making a fire earlier so you could do something other than vegetables in slop but König told you it would rain -which it did.
Really that only pisses you off more, you hate that he's right so often. You don't talk through dinner, you can tell it's making König a little uncomfortable but you don't care. You're annoyed and it's somewhat his fault, you don't feel like talking to him, so you're not gonna force yourself to.
You try to go to bed early that night, hoping the weather will be nicer when you get up so you can actually do stuff tomorrow. Maybe cook something.
Unfortunately, when you get up the weather is no better. Usually, you find the rain quite calming but you can't hear them like you could last night. Most of them have probably managed to find shelter under a bridge or in an abandoned house. The shouting is always the worst for the first few hours of rain but you always found it comforting, at least while you were on the road you did. It meant safe passage, it also meant a couple really cold, soggy nights but that's a good price to pay really.
The house is quiet too, which usually when it's raining it's not. König is stuck inside so usually paces along a window, looking for something to do so you can hear his heavy steps but today it's quiet. Which could just mean he's still in bed but that's just as uncommon, he's an annoyingly early riser.
You roll onto your back and decide you don't care anyway, he would be down there when you eventually managed to drag yourself out of bed.
You listen to the sounds of rain on your window and on the roof above your head, the monotonous sounds making you tired again. You could go back to sleep, who would it hurt? You don't have anything to do except maybe make food.
When you get up for the second time that day you actually pull yourself out of bed to look out of the window. The sky is grey, the clouds still dark, the rain has stopped but you don't assume it will stay like that for very long.
You make your way downstairs calling out for König since you still can't hear him. You search the house, look out in the front and back gardens, and in the greenhouse and he's nowhere. On your way back in from the front you happen to notice a poorly scribbled note on the table next to the door.
You already know what it is, already know where he's going. You snatch the note off of the table and you're not entirely sure what you're feeling as you read it, if you're angry or annoyed, or scared but your eyes are stinging and the ink on the paper is smudging.
Schatz Maus, I went to the retail park. Best to go in the rain, I'll be back in three days. Don't be stupid and come looking.
The paper it's written on is crumpled, and the handwriting though a little scrawly is surprisingly nice.
For the rest of the day you sit with the note, on a chair in the living room. All of the chairs in there are worn, from the couple who lived here originally but the love seat below the window is the worst. Maybe the couple sat there a lot but now, more often than not, you find König after he's finished all of his chores for the day. Usually he's reading the book he keeps next to the chair, it's in German so you have no clue what it was about but he said he'd read it multiple times.
By the time you figure you should go to sleep you can place the feeling. You're scared. The house is so quiet and every noise seems so loud and what if one of them finds its way in and you can't get away? What if you have a nightmare again and he's not there to just sit with you? What if he doesn't come back? Sure the moonlight is nice and somewhat a comfort but it feels weird and empty and as much as you hate to admit it you're scared. Not because he's gone, you were fine without him before and you will be fine when he leaves. It's just so normal to have him here and now it's weird.
You don't sleep that night, not that it’s surprising. You only really start to calm down when the early morning sun streams through the windows since you couldn't bring yourself to close them.
You forget to eat that day, so caught up in menial tasks that mean you're not thinking about how long he's taking. You unclog the gutter, you sharpen some of your knives on the stone by the back door, you even dust the whole house. When night time comes and the house is dark you basically pass out on your bed the minute you hit the pillow. So exhausted from making sure you weren't thinking about it.
The next day is worse, your whole body hurts and you're still tired. Sleeping was rough but the weather is clear and you can hear birds outside this morning, you suppose that's technically a plus. You want to get up, you should and you know you should but your limbs feel heavy and your head hurts.
You've never really had time to physically carry stress. You were always busy, alert on the road so there was no time to carry it as physical pain or exhaustion but now, with nothing to do and an empty home it's weighing on you. The idea of getting up and eating, getting water all seems too hard.
The only reason you manage is the thought that food and water might do you good, and will probably make you feel better. It does but the whole situation is still eating at you. What if he doesn't come back? Is it your fault? You were the reason he left even if he says otherwise.
Getting out of bed was a task but you managed it, eating did you some good too and you managed to be somewhat productive. You also decided you were going to look for him, you'd give him three days like he said but you were going. You can't sit here and be scared anymore. If nothing else, leaving will be a good way to de-stress or at least make stressing about him being gone harder.
Day three comes and goes, mostly taken up by pep talks and you convincing yourself that it's a good idea, mostly because it is. What if something happened? It would be better to know. Maybe if something did happen you would make the trip up to your grandparents.
You hope it rains, knowing your luck it won't but it would be safer that way. König, on one occasion, had taken you back to the motorway he found you on, on the off chance that you were only staying because you didn't know the way back. At least if you get back there you can use street signs.
You didn't expect leaving to be as easy as it is, with nobody else there it doesn't really mean much. Not that you like him, it's just his house, that's all. The route you had originally planned takes you right through the place you got ambushed a few months back so you take an unfortunate but necessary detour. All you have to do is make it to the road.
The forest is nice, mostly quiet except for a few birds. If you're honest it's peaceful and somewhat familiar but you're still a little on edge.
Being alone with your thoughts is nice too, it's funny to think that a few weeks back all you were worried about was a gramophone you found in the loft and now you're here walking through the woods, directly ignoring what König asked of you in the note and trying not to jump when the branches rustle because of whatever little creature is scuttling around under there.
The sun is pretty high so it's probably about noon, if you're honest you wanted to be further into the forest by now but the detour is taking longer than you expect. You aren't used to walking like this anymore, your feet hurt and it's warm outside. On the upside you have some supplies, unlike last time.
You eventually come to a clearing you recognise; the one you had picked blackberries while König was shooting. It's pretty there. Quite open and lined with hedges, and daisies in the warmer months. It makes you feel safer, despite it being open from all angles it's familiar. If you imagine hard enough you can trick yourself into thinking he's out rustling in the bushes, trying to find a good vantage point. It's usually quite the task considering the small mountain that is his body.
You take a deep breath, letting your brain make up this little life where he wasn't stupid enough to leave and you aren't stupid enough to follow. You imagine how he'd grumble about the thorns in the foliage and how far down the floor is and how the bushes would rustle as he pushes through him. At least you think you're imagining the rustling, you clutch the axe you decided to bring with you and brace yourself for whatever is making the rustling.
For some incredibly stupid reason you shut your eyes, apparently fight, flight or freeze also include simply don't look. The absurdity of your reaction makes you laugh a little and you crack open your eyes since nothing has run at you yet.
You look in the direction of the rustling only to find a deer, a fawn? It's still still got spots so it's a fawn, you're pretty sure at least. You can't help but smile. You always did like nature less so now since the virus ruined it but this, animals finally having the space to just live without having to worry what the hell we're doing to make their lives worse, it's nice.
You scan the surroundings for its mum, usually they're nearby but you don't see her anywhere. You hold your hand out letting the curious little creature come to you. You're shocked when it takes a few cautious steps and sniffs your hands, slowly you brush your fingers over the top of the fawn's head. Through the soft fur and down over the little white spots on its back.
In the process you adjust your footing, snapping a branch under your foot and scaring the poor thing off. You suppose it's for the best though, hopefully it's running back to its mother. You take that as your sign to continue on too, you still have no idea where you're going or how to find him. If this is even a good idea ,probably not but you don't feel right being there and he's not back yet. Not that you'd know since you left but the chances he stumbled in right after you left and didn't come after you are really low.
Plus maybe it will be fun, educational? Probably not, you've been on the road before and it was hell. Not only because you lost everyone but because you were lonely, there's only so much talking to yourself you can take before you start to hate your own voice. It's not going to come to that this time anyway because you're going to find him and he's going to be fine because he's giant. It doesn't look like even a building could take him down.
Nights coming quicker than you expected or you're walking slower than you thought. Probably the latter you think you're going the right way, when you get the chance you're going to make König put some kind of markers on some of the trees so that you know where you are because they all look exactly the same. Part of the reason for that could be that you haven't been this far out since you decided to stay but also it's just a bunch of trees and paths that are slowly being taken back by nature anyway.
Panic slowly melts into your being as you pass what looks like the same tree as you had an hour ago when the sun starts to set. As much as it seems like the same tree it could just as easily be a completely different tree.
All you need is a car with doors that aren't locked or rusted shut and you should be able to make it through the night, if you can make it out of the damn forest. You love it because it's where you've come to call home but also it's a fucking maze and other than knowing you've past the clearing you have no idea how far the road is from you. Sometimes you wish the world hadn't ended because at least you could follow the sound of the traffic but no, you have to rely on purely memory and hopefully, if you actually make it, luck.
The sun is falling way faster than it should, slowly being swallowed by the clouds that are currently painted in shades of gold and orange. When it does eventually get swallowed up by the sky the lack of street light and just general civilisation mean that you'll have a great view of the stars, one that would be far more satisfying from your room. Where the potential chance of being eaten by people with half melted brains is basically zero.
As easy as it should be to just turn back, you're not even sure you could if you wanted to because you're already bad at direction when you can see when you're in the dark chances are you break your ankle on a rock or a fallen branch, may as well do that in the direction of your goal. God you actually want to make sure he comes back, you would have wished for this at the start. Not that you're worried about him, that would be absurd, entirely, you just don't feel right living in his house if he's not there…obviously.
When you do eventually come across the road, the moon has taken the sun's place and there are plenty of cars, the trouble is finding one with openable doors is a hassle but you do find one. It's dark but it was probably a nice car before it got all weathered, surprisingly all of the windows are intact and the seats are minimally gross.
It's on the smaller side so the back seats are a little cramped when you manage to pry open the front passenger door. It's definitely not the worst car you've slept in, the seats are still soft, they smell bad but they're still soft and they're not wet. That's a huge bonus, you would be shocked at how many cars have open windows so the seats get wet and then never dry.
Spending the night in the back of a car is a little nostalgic for you, it's nice to think about how far you've come. Car seats to beds, out of date granola bars and unwashed berries from the side of the road to actual meals, being alone to having a…to having a König. Thinking about him is oddly uncomfortable, you haven't cared about anyone else's well being in ages and now you're worried about a giant who sometimes has the slightest stutter which you can't help but find cute.
You honestly could have slept worse, thinking back to how you used to wake up this is one of the better moods. You're tired, that's not shocking and your back hurts, which is equally not shocking. You also can't feel your hand which is maybe a little shocking, what's genuinely extremely shocking is the face peering into the window of the car you're sleeping in.
She blinks, then you blink and you blink again and yep, she's still there. You're not entirely sure what to do with this, she must know that the door opens unless she's turned but she looks fine. There are no signs of fever so maybe she's just a traveler?
You open your mouth to ask her but no words come out and she's not moving, other than blinking. She speaks when you close your mouth and then open it again.
“Great fish impression” your jaw drops further open and you reach for your axe as she continues. “I feel like you'd be a fish if you were an animal. Not in, like, a mean way, you'd at least be a cool fish but not a shark, they're fish you know?”
You stare blankly at her because what the fuck is going on? Is this normal? Do people just do this now? No, normally if you see other people they're infected or going to kill you for supplies. You haven't come across it but you've seen the aftermath of it on the roads.
Maybe hunters are really talkative? Or maybe she's stalling so that someone else can put an arrow through your head. It would make sense, what idiot would travel alone out here? Oh right, you, you're the idiot and you're gonna die to an annoyingly talkative looter.
“I'm Lili, with an I. I'm not sure why. I never asked but thinking back maybe I should have.” she stares at you as if waiting for you to offer your name but you're still so flabbergasted by her whole being that even if you wanted to tell her your name, which you don't, you wouldn't be able to. Who even manages to ramble about their own name?
“You know, since you looked like a goldfish earlier I'm just gonna call you Goldie.”
Okay so probably not a trap, just an overly friendly girl who's still staring at you through the window of a car and has decided that you'll henceforth be known as goldie. You don't think she's stopped talking, you've just stopped listening mostly because she doesn't actually say much of anything. Just a lot of words.
You block most of what she's saying out as you try to remember where the hell he said he was going, if there is anything you can remember that would help you figure out where he is.
He probably isn't back yet anyway because he still hasn't come to find you, which either means he's not coming back because he doesn't want to or he's injured or dead or infected or, you cut that train of thought short, mostly because you would rather not think about losing more people. He's giant and has military training, he's probably fine. Definitely fine.
You know he said it was just past the motorway, and there must be signs for it. It's a retail park so that would make sense but really you have no idea, road signs are useless, even when you were going somewhere you were sort of familiar with they still make no sense. Half of the places on the board are just telling a big city that you’re traveling towards and you don't know what most of them are.
When you pull yourself out of your thoughts she is still talking, because obviously. You think she might have said she was trying to find her friend but you could honestly care less.
“Are you armed?” You cut her off because how oh the hell has she still got stuff to say? Her brows knit like it's a stupid question, which maybe it is, maybe she isn't armed but also who isn't armed now? It's safer that way. König hasn't been clearing the motorway as much since you decided to stay so there are probably sick wandering around.
“Yes.” She holds up what is essentially a rusty kitchen knife, it's probably not ideal but nothing really is anymore.
“Drop it.” Although she doesn't really seem the type to turn around and stab you, you don't really feel like taking that risk. It's possible she just wants better clothes or a nicer weapon so airing on the side of caution is definitely better. Especially if you're going to find König. Which you are and he's going to be fine when you do.
She does actually put it down which kind of shocks you, maybe she's got something else on her that she didn't tell you about. You need to get out of the car, you can't stay here forever staring at her staring at you so you get out of the car. You still have your axe so what's the worst that could happen.
Getting out of the car is a little bit of a hassle, you're not about to turn your back to her but you need your bag so you have to go to the other side of the car and wrestle with the rusty door for a while.
“Where are you headed?” You have no idea why she cares or why she's still here. Except maybe to kill you but she would have tried by now so maybe she's simply curious.
“You’re alone?” You can't bring yourself to be friendly, even if she's not trying to kill you she's annoying and chatty and that feels worse.
She nods in response so unless she's lying you're not going to be attacked the minute you step out of the car. You take your chances anyway, mostly because you need to keep going. The sun's getting higher and you need as much time as you can get before nightfall.
She immediately sticks her hand out to shake yours when you get out of the car as if she hadn't already talked your ear off for her introduction. You don't take it, you have no idea what makes her so friendly.
Regardless she seems to understand that you're not going to shake her hand. Much to your annoyance, that doesn't put her off talking, at all.
“So where’re you heading?” She tries again, perhaps thinking you didn't hear her the first time as she trails behind you while you walk. Maybe she's just going in the same direction but you have no intention of telling her where you're going, not that you could anyway.
You don't respond but as you've learnt in the fifteen minutes you've known her she doesn't take you not answering as a sign she should stop speaking. So she just keeps going. You can drown her out for the most part, your thoughts mostly focused on finding König. For survival purposes, you still haven't learnt to hunt properly, yeah. That's why.
Walking with another person is familiar, nice in a way. You would prefer it if the person you're walking with wasn't an annoyingly chatty stranger named Lili 'with an I’. You spend the day walking in a direction you hope is right and for some reason she never drops off to go wherever she was going originally, she also barely stops talking so by the time the sky is pretty shades of orange and pink you're irritated, tired and worried that you're lost.
“For the love of. Do you ever shut up?” The words come out slightly more snappy than you had intended but this will make two nights of sleeping rough and come the next night there won't be any cars to crash in. Not only because you're pretty sure you'll have to come off the road but the cars on this section of road are mostly burned, broken from crashing into each other or from looting. Not that it matters how they got into the state they're in, what matters is that you're no closer to finding König, you have nowhere to sleep.
You seem to have shut her up so at least you can think in peace. All you need to do is find one, mostly in-tact car and maybe one for her if she's not going to leave you alone, so two in-tact cars. You can do that, you did this for months. It's second nature.
You look into some of the burned cars and immediately regret it. The car you picked seemed to belong to a family, one that died with their car. Maybe they were ill, maybe they were victims of the looting that happened after the government took the rich and hid them. You keep walking, places like this are essentially graveyards now and anyway you're not going to find any ‘sleepable’ cars in this mess.
The sun falls lower in the sky, the moon rising to take its place and you're still walking. The mess on the motorway spanning further than you expected it would. Gradually the burned cars transition back into weathered and rusting shells with broken windows, a few are even missing roofs. Not ideal but better than before.
You pick two reasonable cars, a worn out black car which had no front window but the back ones are intact and a little (at one point) green mini with no wheels. You wonder what someone needed just the wheels for now especially, maybe a tire swing or to make a cart. Your shadow hasn't said anything for a while but when you turn around she's still there.
You finally take her in, now that the shock of her general existence has worn off. She has long black hair which looks brushed and about as taken care of as you can get anymore and she's on the taller side, slender too. She reminds you of how you looked when you were on the road, bony and tired, only she carries it off with a sort of innocent joy. You think maybe it could be how she copes. She has a black waterproof slung around her hips and she wears a stained green tank top. It's a nice green but you do think the shorts she wears are impractical. You study her for what is probably too long before you move on.
“You're not leaving?” You want to pretend you're shocked when she shakes her head but she's been trailing behind you all day, even after you snapped at her.
“Take that car.” you nod towards the mini and then adjust your grip on your axe. She seems confused that you're willing to help her despite showing now interest in knowing her, which is understandable. You're not even really sure why you're doing it, maybe having König around has spoiled you for solitude. Despite her obvious confusion she doesn't say anything so you go to check the surrounding cars, because if you're going to be mauled to death it's not going to be because you were too lazy to check your surroundings.
You walk around your makeshift camp, taking as wide a birth as you can. Partly because you don’t want to restart a covert with Lili but also because you can’t just ignore the fields that surround the road. It’s hard to believe that you used to watch those pass by on the way up to see your family and now you’re sleeping in the deserted cars on that same road. Luckily the first side is clear, just some skinny sheep grazing what’s left of the field.
You circle around to the other side, everything is normal. Dead grass, debris from car crashes and fires, rubbish in various states of decay, a half eaten deer, a few fallen trees. You double take on the deer, and then walk closer. There's a few things that could have done that; dogs that have been unfortunately abandoned after the bug, an unlikely large group of cats (as unlikely as it is you hope that one of those is the case) or people, specifically the sick.
The closer you get more the clear it comes that it wasn't a comically large group of cats, or a big dog. The body is littered with scratches from blunt nails and bite marks from human teeth, torn flesh and clumps of blood-matted hair, there are even sections that you can see down to the bone.
This isn't uncommon, the fever fries their brains but doesn't stop basic needs. Usually after a while the hazy state coupled with the general lack of food sends them into a fever-fueled frenzy and the most determined of them can take down grown men.
The body is already swarming with flies. At one point it would have been majestic but now, it lies In front of you, eyes open, antler snapped probably in the carnage of taking it down.
You scan the area hoping whoever managed to down deer has moved on or is reaping the consequences of eating that much raw meat. Still it's not worth the risk so you sweep the area once more, just to be sure. There isn't really any movement, what's left of the wildlife or otherwise.
When you get back to the banged up car you'll be sleeping in, Lili is already asleep or in her car and awake which is a genuine relief. She's really too cheery for how the world is now.
Sleep doesn't come as easily as it did the first night. After you've cleared out the broken glass and checked for spiders you're left with your thoughts and the wind that blows through the broken windows both are lined with jagged shards of glass, decent protection from the clumsy hands of the sick.
You want to say that the windows were why sleep seemed so far but you've slept in worse cars than this and on colder nights, you couldn't even say you were feeling uneasy because of Lili, the real reason was König. You're worried and it's surprisingly hard not having him around, you like his heavy footsteps and the way mumbles to himself when he walks around the house or when he's out in the garden, you miss the tunes he hums on walks. It's comfortable.
Every time you manage to think about something else your mind drifts back to him. If something could bring him down, a man with military training, what hope do you have? You don't even know where you're supposed to be going. You do eventually sleep although you do seem to wake at least every hour.
Dull thudding rouses you first, you look up but your two intact windows are fine and nobody is out there so you let yourself drift for a while longer. That extra five minutes is disrupted by the breaking of glass and a scream that you can only guess came from Lili.
Your hand closes around your axe faster than you expect it to and you don't even really stretch the sleep and cramped position out of your limbs before you're moving towards the car you left Lili in.
You can just about see the roof of the ,at some point, green mini. When you manage to get round the car without falling over the debris on the road, Lili is being pulled out of the freshly broken window, blood streaming down her arm from where she must have scraped it on the jagged glass that now digs into her back. She's flailing her uninjured arm against the scraggly looking woman who's yanking her out of the car.
The woman's eyes are hazy and she's got the same mixture of froth and drool around her mouth as the boy who attacked you before, only this time König isn't coming to save you. She looks further gone than the boy was, older too. Her hair is matted and and littered with leaves and sticks, her legs and arms covered in cracked dried blood, you think (more hope) that it's her own but looking at her face reveals the same dried blood, streaked with sweat from her fever.
Your attention is brought back to Lili when she as the woman tugs her yet again, a large shard of glass sinking into her back and tearing her skin as the woman continues to tug.
You look between the woman and Lili, you're not frozen, you're just not moving. The fear from your previous encounter with one of them still haunts you and in the moment it's holding you on the spot. Watching the back of Lili’s shirt change from that pretty green to a morbid brown as her blood seeps through the thread in the fabric. She looks at you, the pain evident on her face and nothing but panic in her eyes. You feel just as helpless as you did the first time, only nobody is coming this time. There isn't anyone to help.
Your fingers tighten around the axe as you channel all the anxiety you feel around being in such close proximity with the sick, into moving closer to them and then bringing your axe down right into the center of the woman's head.
The blade cracks against her skull before the sharp metal edge sinks lower and blood splatters onto your face. The woman goes limp, arms falling from where she was clawing at Lili as her legs give out from underneath her and she crumples to the floor, taking your axe with her as she does.
Both you and Lili are breathing heavily, although her breaths are broken with sniffles and sharp intakes of breath. The adrenaline starts to fade out of you but the feeling is quickly replaced by bile that rises up your throat.
You turn quickly holding onto the railing on the side of the road as you empty the contents of what was left in your stomach into the dry brown grass on the side of the road. Death wasn't uncommon, you'd seen plenty but never at your own hand. You have never even ended a thing with fur, let alone something that can talk and think, or, you suppose in her case could talk and think.
You hear fabric tearing which pulls you back to Lili, slowly pulling what was the bottom of her shirt out of the deep gashes on her arm.
“Did you get the glass out?” You manage, trying to ignore the acidic taste left in your mouth and she nods through a wince as she pulls the fabric tighter. You follow suit tearing a strip off the bottom of your shirt to wrap around her ribs in attempts to slow the bleeding there too.
You didn't like her by any means but at least now she owes you, so chances are she won't turn on you and try to kill you for supplies or anything.
You look back towards the woman and the large pool of blood flowing from her head, bile rises up your throat again but you need your axe back and you're gonna have to look if you want to pull it out.
You give the axe a weak tug but it doesn't give. It takes a lot of effort and wiggling and even leveraging with your foot to finally get it out. Upon pulling it out, the hole left by the axe gushed blood before returning to a trickle.
“You weren't bit?” You speak slowly, coming to terms with that being a possibility. Even if you don't like her, that's not a fate you'd wish upon anyone.
She takes a second to reply, you assume because she's still tugging at her makeshift bandage to get it tight enough. You wouldn't know since you can't take your eyes off of this poor woman.
“No.”
You briefly consider that she could lie but now you feel more tired than you did last night as the final dregs of adrenaline drain from your body. Leaving your limbs heavy and your brain entirely too loud and too quiet at the same time so, just this once you take it at face value.
The walking for that day is hard, after leaving that woman you feel sick, your limbs are heavy and your axe has been dripping blood for the past hour. Lili is quiet, which is maybe the worst part about it. She hasn't said anything since this morning and despite the sun, which is way too much at the moment, her jacket has stayed on since she wrapped her wounds. Maybe out of shock.
Even if you wanted to talk to her you're not sure what you'd say or where you'd even start so you just settle yourself to thinking about König all day. Just because the idea of him is comforting, the idea of being back home with that goofy giant helps you through it. It's weird seeing her so quiet.
Yeah she's been quiet, but only after you snapped at her. She walks almost by your side and she fiddles with her jacket, constantly tugging at the sleeve or pulling up the shoulder. You think maybe she's cold, you think people tend to be when they're in shock so maybe that's it.
Night comes quickly and you don't make much ground that day, but you get off the road. End up walking through a mostly burned down village, almost all of the houses have collapsed roofs and any non flammable buildings have been knocked down, or blown up maybe. Some people took the whole, controlling the spread thing, to quite drastic measures when the sick broke out.
People would lock the sick in houses and burn them down, or execute them for an audience as if they weren't people with families. Families with connections to the military pulled strings to get grenades and guns, people also looted hunting stores for what they thought was protection and some more useful things like hunting traps and fishing supplies but mostly weapons.
Looking around the area there are only a few somewhat standing houses, most of which are filled with the rubble from their collapsed roofs and second floors. There are two, maybe three options and a push. Since it's getting dark you check the nearest one with four walls and a ceiling. There isn't anyone there, doesn't look like there has been for a while now anyway, while Lili takes up shop in the corner you check what's left of the rooms.
The main room is still intact, mostly, there's a charred sofa, a broken coffee table and a bookshelf in the corner with what would have been books on the broken shelves. Half of the kitchen has caved in but the fridge is littered with melted magnets and you can see the remains of a highchair. A family home, or it was. Before they got sick or left. You try the door on the other side of the room but there's just rubble behind it.
“I'm gonna get some stuff for a fire.” You speak more to the room than to Lili, who's curled up in the corner covered by her jacket. You half expect a joke about this place having had enough fire, she seems like the type but it doesn't come so you leave. You gather some sticks and hope that you remembered to pack something useful like matches, you remember thinking about it before you left so hopefully they're in there.
Once you're outside it's clear it's going to rain, maybe not tomorrow but the clouds are hanging low and heavy over what's left of this place. It's a comfort that rain is coming means the sick will be hiding and you'll have a good shot at making some actual ground. You saw a street sign for a retail park a few miles back so hopefully you're still heading the right way.
You gather some dry enough sticks and bring them back before digging through your pack for matches. Turns out you did remember them and you just about manage to get a fire going.
Once the fire is going Lili shuffles closer and seems to perk up a little because she's back to talking. Telling you something about a fire at her primary school, you don't tell her to shut up this time. The background is nice and really she's sweet enough, you pick at some berries you found on the road while you listen to her stories and ignore how she keeps her hand over one of the bandages on her arm.
You consider asking how she's doing but you know it would ruin the mood for both of you. Thinking about that woman still makes you feel sick but at least you can say you somewhat trust Lili, two nights alone and a fight with a half-dead woman will do that to you, you suppose.
It's easier to sleep that night, your limbs are heavy from the walking and from what you woke up this morning so even with the floor and the constant feeling that spiders are crawling up your ankles you sleep.
You don't wake up refreshed though, your back hurts, your ass is numb and your fingers are freezing since the fire died out during the night. You warm them over the amber's that are left, Lili is awake too but she looks twice as rough as you do, her eyes are red and bloodshot, her skin is pale and her brow is lined with small droplets.
She still smiles when she sees you looking at her, as if there's nothing wrong with how she looks. Maybe she's just not a morning person.
“I think there's one more town before your retail park” she looks past you as she speaks. “That's what the sign said yesterday twenty something miles.”
You nod as she sets off on another story about how she was in a food fight at a retail park like this. Seems like you're just ignoring how bad she looks today but it's not so bad. She rattles on about her life as you walk through fields and pass mass graves of the sick, which are really just piles of somewhat burned bodies. At the start people hurried them but then it was ‘kill on sight and dispose of the corpse’. It's funny how even without the government almost everyone was doing exactly the same thing.
She tells you more than you expect honestly, she had a dog named Obi because her dad loved star wars and she has an older sister named Lindsey. From the way she talks about them you're not sure if any of them are alive. Part of you hopes they are but you doubt it.
She tells you about holidays and her favourite subjects in school, you even chime in a few times, mostly to take your mind off of everything.
The rain clouds get heavier throughout the day, slowly turning darker as the hours pass. You don't notice at first but not only are the two of you walking faster, Lili isn't talking anymore. She just glances up at the sky every now and again while trying to will her legs to move faster.
You're coming up on the town you think könig should be in. It's the only shopping center near here so chances are he'll be there so that much is a relief. The town is shockingly more out together than the last one, none of it is burned and most of the buildings are intact, if a little overgrown. It's pretty really, watching how nature has taken so much of it back.
The house you find is fine, mostly intact walls and a very overgrown garden. You don't find anyone in there but there's a barricaded door, or at least a door you can't open and whatever is behind it has been rotting for a while so that's probably for the best.
By the time you're ready to sleep you can hear the rain pattering against the glass, it's such a comforting sound now. The patering on the glass brings you back to the comfort of your room. Where it’s quiet and peaceful, where you feel safe. Actually safe.
There’s a small leak in the corner so both of you have set up as far from that as possible. Neither of you talk much that night, you're more focused on how close you are to finding König and you assume Lili is tired because you're tired and achy and frankly, a little scared.
When you used to be on the road you avoided towns, stuck to the road since it was open. This is new and it's different and the only person you would have been okay doing it with is missing.
Morning comes quickly since the cold biting at your skin wakes you up. Despite not being able to feel your toes it's pleasant, everything is still quiet except the steady beat of rain on the concrete outside of the crumbling walls.
You'll cover the rest of the ground today, you have to since you're running out of food and it’s raining still so it's safe. You can deal with a cold but the sick? Whole other much worse can of fish you would really prefer to never open again. You think maybe you're thankful for the stress and general lack of a break because you've had no time to think about how your axe sank into that poor woman's head or how the blood clumped thick in her hair from the dehydration.
The fact that you're relaxed enough to think about that has you up and ready to get out of the door and find Konig today. Not for comfort or anything just because he'll have a plan, yeah, that's why. He'll have a plan and you'll just go home and actually sleep in a warm bed and eat hot food and know that there is someone there, like it should have been in the first place.
“Lili?” you don't necessarily want to wake her but also you don't want to stay here anymore and she's the only one holding you up. She stirs or just about, you hear a very groggy grown and see some movement so you set about getting your shit together.
You decide it might be smart to raid a house or two for breakfast so you leave while she pulls herself out of the ball she curled up in for the night. By the time you get back you have a definitely stale bag of, at some point, crisps and a tin of tuna. Delightful. You're also a little cold and kind of soaked but so is the nature of travelling now, at least its safer.
You set the food down and look at your travel companion, rough does not even describe her anymore. Her eyes are sunken and dark, she's completely pale but you can tell from how the light is reflecting off her head she's sweating even though it's freezing in here. You hold out your incredibly nutritious breakfast but she waves a hand at you which if you're honest is fair enough the crips are long past stale and tuna is not ideal anyway.
You eat in relative silence, you trying to figure out the best and fastest way to Koing and her, you're not sure what she's doing, but she's shuffling. It's an awful breakfast and honestly you don't feel much better off for eating it but at least it's something.
You're just about ready to leave when you reach for your axe and just touch air, then the floor. You pat around the area you left it. Cursing yourself for being so forgetful. Chances are you've left it in one of the houses you checked, great, exactly what you needed when you're ready to set off and find your, well, König. You check your bag knowing full well it's not in there.
You can't really hear anything over the rain, except maybe your internal monologue going off on one about your lost axe which most definitely shouldn't be lost.
In your stress you don't hear her shuffle over, don't notice that she's blocked out the tiny bit of light coming from the window. You don't notice until the worn metal of your axe splinters the floor near your hand. You whip round, turning to face her as she tugs on the handle to unwedge it from the floor.
Thinking about it now she's warm, like warm enough for you to feel it from where you are on the floor. When you actually take a moment to look at her, she looks pale and she's shivering, but little droplets of sweat cling to her hairline and upper lip, she's got dark circles around bloodshot eyes and her pupils are huge, it's dark in here, sure but not dark enough for them to cover the majority of her eyes. So all that does nothing to calm your pulse which is now hammering in your ears.
You just about manage to move by the time the axe slashes through the air right in front of your nose. You honestly thought you were, maybe not friends, but good? That you like each other, at least enough not to kill the other.
“wh-” she doesn't let you get that out either before the axe slams down between your feet, it about answers your question anyway. She wants you dead for some reason or another. Probably the fever, it kind of jellies your brain, from what you heard before the radios went down at least.
You glance between her and the door, she's blocking your only exit that doesn't involve digging glass out of your palms later, although thinking about it, digging glass out of your hands would be better than Lili wrenching your axe out of your dead body.
You keep shuffling back trying to dodge her, honestly very clumsy swings, she has all the coordination of a baby deer. Your brief amusement at how she resembles a newly murderous bambi is short lived as you jerk your leg out of the way of yet another, frankly impressive strike considering her current state. You think really you should take this a bit more seriously because, well, you like your legs being attached to your body. It's a real selling point but sleep deprivation and pure adrenaline make you bark out a laugh of what is probably pure hysteria.
She hikes the axe above her head again but waivers this time, you realise she's probably been putting in a lot of energy she definitely doesn't have this. This time when the axe lands it splinters the floor, probably a rotted patch or something, regardless you take the opportunity. You brace yourself back on your arms and kick with as much force as you can from your almost prone position.
The force behind it isn't ideal but it still makes her wrist bend uncomfortably, the wrist you kicked recoils and she shakes off her hand. Feasibly, you don't have time to fight with her and your axe, since it's still very much wedged in the floor, so broken glass it is. You scramble over to the pile of glass next to the window, with all the grace of a rolling rubbish bin. The shards, slick from the rain that managed to get through the broken pane, prick at your fingertips and knees as you frantically pick through for one big enough to use as a makeshift weapon.
You can hear the wood creaking and cracking behind you as Lili heaves the axe out of the splintered floor. You just have time to come across a shard just long enough to hold with some excess as you stumble back with the force of the axe coming free before she somewhat regains her balance and rounds on you. She somehow manages to use the momentum from her complete lack of balance to slash the axe just to the side of your head.
She misses you by an inch, your hand clenches around the shard in an effort to keep hold of it as you clamber back to your feet. The glass bites into your palm and you feel blood start to drip down your wrist, that's what you get for not having a backup weapon you guess. You can imagine the ‘I told you so’ you'll get from Konig when you find him…unless you die, because right now it's looking like a very real and very painful option.
Her swings are somehow getting more uncoordinated taking her from murderous bambi to those inflatable guys outside of car dealerships but with an axe, so slightly more menacing. You almost laugh but a swing from her, with most of her weight behind it, un-wedges a sizable chunk of plaster from the wall next to you. You slash somewhat blindly and she recoils, clutching the underside of her arm. Her hand comes away red but she barely seems to care.
At this moment, it kind of just clicks for you, she's turning and it's raining and you're trying to leave. She doesn't want you to leave, but also the fever currently braising her brain in its own juices had probably messed up her critical thinking. You open your mouth to reason with her but another swing cuts you short. On second thought she's probably beyond reason anyway.
You keep moving backwards not wanting to get to close incase she suddenly gets the inclination to bite you and another swing from her lands your hatchet well and truly wedged in the door frame, that coupled with the gash on her arm she spends enough time trying to pull it out that you can get to a more open part of the room, closer to the door.
“Lili…” you say from behind her. She does eventually look up let alone react to the sound of her name. You could escape, she couldn't come after you but isn't that cruel? She's as good as dead anyway; nobody wants to be one of them. “Lili please don't make me..” You're cut off because out come the axe and round she turns.
Getting as good a look at her as you can in the low light she's gone, the foam is starting to form, she's basically all pupil and panting heaving breaths. Oh yeah, and she's trying to kill you. She's slower than you now and disoriented, probably from the pain in her arm. Now is probably your only shot to escape and you take it. Flinging the door open she lunges for you and all but howls when she gets to the threshold and splatters of rain fall on her pale skin.
Great, now your only weapon is a peice of glass that also cuts you when you use it. Plus, you've been warming to her and the whole not being alone on the road part. Still you start walking the rain slowly soaking through your clothes. Warming up later is gonna be a bitch but at least you're safe, none of them will be out. Thinking about them brings you back to Lili. You can't even imagine how she's been feeling since she got bit.
In her shoes you wouldn't want to be one of them, half starved and completely gone, slowly dying and not even being present enough to know anything past the suffering. The further you get the worse you feel, death would be the nicer option, living like that isn't really living anyway right? Somewhere within that though you decide to turn back. She doesn't deserve to be a walking corpse and to further justify it you had left all of your stuff in a feat to not be murdered.
You make your way back to what was the safe house and temporarily your potential resting place. At the end of the road you stop, it's quiet save for the rain. Each step towards the house is weighted, you make it there too quickly. Through the still open door you see her, you watch her stare at the walls and pace every so often. She reminds you of a caged animal. You suppose in some ways that's what she is, now at least.
The closer you get the better you can hear her muttering, it's never coherent but this early on you can make out details. Names, usually, sometimes places, they rarely get full sentences once the fever is this bad. Lili mutters names and sometimes coos as if she's talking to a baby or a pet you haven't seen it act quite this quick before but you do remember talk of a few strains before the news shutdown so maybe that.
Before you go in you take the opportunity to make your weapon less of a two way street. You tear another strip from the newly frayed t-shirt right below where you tore the first strip back on the motorway. You take a moment to wrap it around the shard fashioning a handle. You glance briefly at the dried blood from where the glass had been cutting into your hand realising you hadn't actually stopped clutching it until this moment. It's not deep or bleeding too badly.
At this point so long as you're quiet you should be able to sneak in without alerting her. You wrack your mind for the least painful option as you make your way inside trying to be as quiet as possible. She's been staring at the wall for a while, all you know is the quicker you act the better. There is no chickening out of this.
So when you reach her you cover her mouth and slide the shard across her neck. “Im sorry.” Your voice comes out teary even though you hadn't known her for long she was sweet, past the attempted murder. You assume you've hit where you need because too hot blood sprays out onto the wall and pours down over your hand. She doesn't scream or thrash, she just relaxes, going limp in your arms so you lower her slowly to the floor. You shush her and stroke her hair as what's left of her slowly disappears.
You avoid looking at the mess of blood slowly dripping down your arms and soaking into your clothes, the thought makes bile creep up your throat and the last thing you want to do right now is lose your breakfast, you already feel like passing out. You unwrap the cloth from the glass and use it to wipe the foamy stuff from her mouth. She looks peaceful, better maybe. Corpses were never meant to walk. You can't leave her here though, not to be eaten by more sick or an animal, she doesn't deserve that fate.
You take some time, most of your day in the rain to scope out a shovel and a nice enough place to dig a grave. You try not to make it too shallow since you don't want it dug up, it takes you far too long and leaves your arms aching but you dig a big enough hole. Carrying her to it, dragging her would be more apt, is a whole different ordeal your arms which are already jelly shake with each heave but eventually you get her to the grave and cover her up.
You make a note to come back this way with flower seeds if you can. She deserves something as lively and cheery as she was, few people have it in them to be like that at the end of the world. You sure as shit dont, especially not now.