I'M SORRY, OK? / NO, YOU'RE NOT. YOU SAY THE WORD, BUT YOU DON'T CHANGE.
patron saint of poor decisions & manic pixie boymare, Ryan Akagi. ⭑ private, selective, & mututally exclusive. est. since 2026.
¹⭑ Rules. ²⭑ Ryan. ³⭑ Reciepts.

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@n6wheres
I'M SORRY, OK? / NO, YOU'RE NOT. YOU SAY THE WORD, BUT YOU DON'T CHANGE.
patron saint of poor decisions & manic pixie boymare, Ryan Akagi. ⭑ private, selective, & mututally exclusive. est. since 2026.
¹⭑ Rules. ²⭑ Ryan. ³⭑ Reciepts.
“the cinema” - erin lecount // “working for the knife” - mitski // “chinese satellite” - phoebe bridgers
KENTO YAMAZAKI in ATOM NO KO アトムの童 (2022)
❝ if you fall asleep, i’m drawing on your face. ❞
she sticks to him. like a SPLINTER. no matter how much he digs—dig, dig, dig—nails scraping raw at the soft skin of memory, with hopes to excavate her from his mind once and for all, she remains. EMBEDDED.
he wants to hate her guts. and her disgustingly pretty face. he wants to claw the smell of her perfume from his nostrils, erase the image of her smile—that sharp, knowing little grin she’d wear whenever she said something brilliant just to watch his brain jog to keep up. those intense eyes that ALWAYS seemed to see right through him, judgemental most of the time, but always holding his gaze. daring him to say something about it. she was just born with it, like her smile. all pearled teeth, delicate jaw, lips he had been fascinated by since they had split a blunt between them in the back of his van. Y'KNOW, because it'd be rude to smoke in the house with her parents out of town. no big, he rolled the windows down before they got bored and decided to head inside to watch a movie.
the glow of the television screen washes over the living room, blue and silver streaks flickering across the couch. on-screen, a movie playing on HALF-WATCHED, something thrown on in the compromise of finding something they could both agree on, though neither was actually paying attention. ryan, always able to make himself at home in any space afforded to him, had spread out on the sectional's chaise like he owned the joint. a lazy, long-limbed SPRAWL that took up twice as much room as he actually needed.
❛❛ your desperation is showing, holloway, ❜❜ he mumbles, a slow, lazy smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth, head tilting back against the cushions as he exhaled a quiet laugh. he fights back a yawn, EXHAUSTION pulling at his eyelids, though he refuses to give her the satisfaction of seeing him crash. ❛❛ i'd like to see you try, though. ❜❜
he sinks into the comfort of his hoodie, lifting his arms in slow, mock-surrender, fingers interlacing behind his head to cradle the back of his neck. ❛❛ hey, say the word and I'LL LEAVE. that'd make your evening, wouldn't it? ❜❜
↪ 𝚂𝙴𝙽𝙳 “ ♫ ” 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝙼𝙴 𝚃𝙾 𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃 𝟹 - 𝟻 𝚂𝙾𝙽𝙶𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙸 𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙾𝙲𝙸𝙰𝚃𝙴 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙼𝚄𝚂𝙴𝚂 , * bonus points if receiver specifies lyrics !
A LIL CONTINUATION FOR @loudbark--deepbite ; BEER + CIGS
the final shreds of SUNLIGHT kiss the back of his neck, early july presses its lips against the horizon, sky bleeding syrup like ichor of the gods. ryan had spent so much time chasing sunlight, stretching the day thin like an old tee-shirt. now, soft and fraying at the seams, the day gave away completely and night pressed in.
the air between them is sticky and saccharine like lemonade on his teeth, asphalt hot under his fingers as he hauls himself over the lip of the gutters. it's hardly GRACEFUL, grit scraping his palms as he lifts his body up and onto the slant. sneakers snag, the 18-pack slung awkwardly against his hip. down below, the neighborhood is DEAD QUIET, cast in that hazy, orange-blue glow of flickering streetlights and summer humidity.
he cracks his own can open with a sharp, echoing psshht, taking a long, appreciative swig of cheap beer before he even looks over at gary. STILL GARY. just as he remembered him—or at least as much as he could remember someone he had only ever really looked at from the corner of his eye. direct sunlight usually washed people out, but the dusk suited gary, filling in the blanks ryan's memory had cheated him out of. he looked MORE REAL, less dead-eyed than he looked in class, someone who he didn't have to think twice about when his arm grazed his in the hallways. ryan was still a vision of chaos. didn't look much different from grade school, stupid graphic tee-shirts and cuffed jeans, wire red-framed glasses and hands that were always moving. tapping out a rhythm stuck in his head or rolling a can of beer between his hands just to hear it crinkle. always searching for music SOMEWHERE.
was he staring? when the cardboard pack of cigarettes is shoved into his line of sight, ryan looks at it, then up at gary, the orange cherry of gary's lit smoke cutting through the air between them. he didn't smoke because min-gi didn't smoke. or drink. or leave his house after 9 PM. but tonight is already an anomaly.
he plucks a cigarette from the box like plunging his hand into FIRE. ❛❛ been trying to quit, ❜❜ it's a bullshit excuse to soothe his ego, but he sells it with a lopsided grin. steadies the cigarette between his lips and leans back on his elbows.
❛❛ wishful thinking my ass, ❜❜ ryan scoffs but there's not hate behind it, his tone dropping into that EASY, slow-rolling drawl. ❛❛ i'm here to save you from infinite boredom. your tissue box can thank me later. ❜❜
he breaks the distance, slides over to gary's side nice and CLOSE and cups his around around the cigarette. ❛❛ spare me a light? ❜❜
PEOPLE WE MEET ON VACATION (2026) dir. Brett Haley
「 Atom No Ko ✦ Episode 1 」 ― for @old-folk
@n6wheres continued from here
Belle leans against the van with crossed arms, rolling her eyes in a way that betrayed only a little irritation. She was expecting the pen to enter the void that was his backseat the moment she handed it over; she just liked to tease him.
"Princess? Now you're trying to butter me up so I forget," she snorts, but nonetheless waves his offer away. "In the end, it's just a pen. I'm more interested in what you've been working on."
She offers him the slightest smile, eyes twinkling with both amusement and admiration. For all of his faults, Ryan really was talented (and charming). How else could he convince her to pause her responsibilities to 'hang out' or attend his 'gigs'? "It must be something BIG judging by how many notes are floating freely about the cabin."
he's modern-day icarus, flying TOO CLOSE to the sun and only feeling the burn. wax wings shrivel and fall away in paper scraps, red ink scrawled on littered loose leaf in half-baked verses. muse lulls like an engine stutter, coughing and spitting sparks but refusing to catch. he'd have to pick up a couple more shifts at needle drop to pay for all the fuel he's BURNING between shows.
he's gotten good at pretending his world isn't seconds away from crashing down around him. he was homeless in the sense there wasn't any home worth returning to, his old bedroom plenty of space to give the twins their own bedroom. the akagis had always been good at that, filling in the cracks, moving on without him. if he returned home now he'd just prove to min that he had been right all along. would he still let him take the floor if he asked nice enough? FUCK THAT. min had made his choice, and ryan would rather sleep on a bed of rusted springs and threadbare blankets than than crawl back to beg for a square of carpet.
❛❛ maybe, ❜❜ his voice seesaws between coy and delicately placed sarcasm. he shifts his weight against the open door of the van, leans his head out to give her an expectant, no doubt SIDEWAYS look. he gets a good look of her then. she's a princess pulled straight from the cracked spines of the paperbacks he used to watch his mom read growing up. ❛❛ why, is it working? ❜❜ followed by a convincing wiggle of the eyebrows.
he was usually good at these things. avoiding the question, ducking reality, sinking back into the comfort of pretending he had his shit fully together. but belle had a way of coaxing it out of him. ❛❛ y'know, WRITING MUSIC music is so much harder when you have the notes but not the lyrics. i just can't nail the chorus. it's actively harshing my vibe. ❜❜
“ Teach me how to play.”
for someone who took great satisfaction in BRINGING LIFE to center stage, this living room was in desperate need of a resurrection. house parties had never been his scene. they were often too crowded with sweaty, drunk, and ANNOYING people, always making him feel like he was staring straight into the eye of a black hole—one that was slowly sucking the life right out of him.
such social settings expected a specific behavior from everyone involved, wanting them to be outgoing and to have a "good time," which usually just meant being WASTED and out the door by a quarter 'til midnight. while he had nailed the drinking part, ryan was still working on the extroverted side of things. with each tap of his foot to the beat, the change in his red solo cup jingling, just loud enough that he could ALMOST hear himself think over the sound of amp feedback and a voice. clear against the endless drone.
his eyes flick up from the ground to peer at the stranger from behind his glasses, SMUDGED in the corner from the nervous habit of pushing them up and stupid, sticky beer fingers. STILL, he's getting paid to be here and he needs the gas money if he wants to make it to the state border by daybreak. he leans back on his heels, foldable plastic creaking against his weight as he postures his guitar between himself and the wall, strings still HOT from the last strum.
he tilts his head to the side, makes it real convincing like he's thinking about it. his guitar was his baby, HAD BEEN since his parents had scrounged up the money freshman year of high school after years of careful penny-pinching and skimping on everything else just to make it happen. ❛❛ dunno, it's not as EASY as i make it look. ❜❜ there's a lazy tug at the corner of his lips. for now, he'd indulge. ❛❛ self-taught, too. with a little help from bowie. ❜❜ he's grinning freely now. ❛❛ private lessons are gonna cost you, though. large bills PREFERRED. ❜❜
⋆。‧˚ʚ💋ɞ˚‧。⋆ 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠
send ‘reverse’ for the sender and receiver to swap. adjust wording as needed!
[ bump ] noses knock, both pull back, then immediately lean in again and knock foreheads instead
[ teeth tap ] teeth click together, followed by simultaneous laughter that completely kills the tension
[ breath ] one forgets how breathing works, pulls back too fast, then covers their face in embarrassment
[ overcommit ] one leans in with way too much enthusiasm and almost topples them both
[ eye contact ] one opens their eyes mid-kiss, panics at the eye contact, and immediately turns away
[ timing ] both lean in, both pull back, both try again at the exact wrong moment
[ hair in mouth ] loose hair gets caught between lips, forcing an awkward untangling
[ balance ] one stumbles forward during the kiss, arms flailing before catching themselves
[ nose ] the kiss lands squarely on the nose instead, followed by frozen confusion
[ smile ] a grin breaks the kiss before it even starts, ruining the moment
[ cheek ] nerves redirect the kiss to the cheek at the last second
[ laugh ] a laugh slips out mid-kiss and derails everything
[ hand ] a hand reaches for the other’s waist and misses completely, grabbing empty air
[ hair ] fingers tangle in hair unintentionally, followed by frantic untangling
[ wrong angle ] they tilt the same direction twice in a row and just give up for a second
[ forehead ] pulling back leads to a gentle forehead collision instead
I've been perfectly miserable for the last two weeks.
luxury has NEVER impressed him. growing up, his parents raised the akagi kids on the responsible ethos that they could be content with a simple, financially sensible life. ryan never cared for brand names or expensive material possessions. even though his father did his best to buy everything she ogled in shop fronts, his mother never expressed a DESIRE to own more than we could afford. ryan cared only for music—high on front porch performances and his father's hand-me-down cassettes. he didn't know or CARE what he was missing, even at school among the kids from wealthier families, who were all designer bags and shiny new sports cars.
money, he's come to realize, can not only buy happiness, but also a 18-pack of beer and NOTHING but time to drink it. he just needed someone to split it with. in his defense, gary barkovitch wasn't his first choice. he couldn't even REMEMBER the last time they'd talked, what was it, middle school? nah, had to be later than that. alphabetical last names meant they spent the better part of a decade knocking elbows and making small talk like pulling teeth. but min was busy with college applications and couldn't call and ryan was, well, NOT.
in his defense, he didn't expect gary to WANT to see him. they weren't friends in the traditional sense, or any sense at all, really. but an open window was an OPEN invitation.
❛❛ i call bullshit. just say that you’ve been HELPLESSLY bored without me since summer started, ❜❜ canvas bag lops off his shoulder and onto the floor. an aluminum clang cracks through the air, window wide open behind him. ❛❛ so are we drinking these on the roof OR WHAT? ❜❜
FINDING EMILY (2026) dir. Alicia MacDonald
Long time no homosexuals
有栖 良平 (ARISU RYOHEI) IN EVERY EPISODE:
今際の国のアリス (Alice in Borderland) Episode 02
Are you sorry you came here?
RYAN AKAGI did not believe in fate, cosmic intervention, or the universe's sense of humor, but he was RECONSIDERING all three as he stood as he stood at the edge of the pier, looking down into the dark, churning water in a borrowed suit and scuffed sneakers.
when met with kindness, his body has never quite known the difference between common courtesy and an attempt to trap him in a cage. his spine, taut as a wire, ACHES always with the urge to run. still, he made it a point to be there when ariel needed him. he tries not to think about it too much, how much he cares and makes it look like an AFTERTHOUGHT. how much thought he puts into not caring at all.
he's bleeding luck and late by fifteen minutes. the gig, some snot-nosed kid's twelfth birthday party, had RUN LATE, the traffic had been worse, and now he was running on nothing but pure adrenaline and a stubborn refusal to just go home, ryan.
the suit was STOLEN borrowed from min - gi— too large in the shoulders and a hideous shade of powder blue, pearlescent and gleaming like oil slick under the pale veneer of moonlight. he looks his age, a tall child in adult shoes. ❛❛ you serious? ❜❜ his voice breaks through the wind, a breathless, self-deprecating laugh that SHAKES the tension from his shoulders. ❛❛ yeah, sorry for not coming sooner. ❜❜ he slumps down at the edge of the dock, his limbs as heavy as stones. for as big as the suit is, it barely scrapes his ankles and bunches up around the knees. ❛❛ you DO realize we're friends, right? i'm not just NOT gonna show up when you ask me to. ❜❜
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚ : IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT . . . a collection of screwball rom-com roleplay sentence starters from old hollywood screwball romance comedies from NUMEROUS FILMS, holiday genre: romance, slice-of-life, comedy, love, fake relationship.
How are you, darling?
It comes and it goes. How annoying.
Believe me, it's of no importance.
I only say what the doctor said: To forget it and not to worry.
Don't let's go into that again. I'll not be psychoanalyzed!
You mustn't say that about yourself. Not even in fun.
Can you imagine what that means to a person living in a penthouse?
I want to be frank with you.
I'm absolutely certain there's nothing really wrong with me.
You see, most people know nothing about themselves.
Now, what I'm trying to do is to introduce you to your inner self.
Wouldn't you like to meet you?
You see, I'm a little shy.
It's always the same whenever I see a doctor.
Whatever comes and whatever goes, there's no denying it worries you a lot.
It's rather unpleasant and sometimes very uncomfortable.
Believe me. There's nothing wrong with my life.
Okay fine, we'll talk about something entirely different.
During one of these sleepless nights when you wriggle around restlessly, when you look to your right, what do you see?
What are you trying to do? Break up my relationship?
My partner has nothing to do with my sleeplessness.
I doubt there's anything I can do.
Didn't it make you nervous?
Now I think of it, it is rather irritating and not very considerate.
Why haven't I heard from you?
Are people talking about us?
They know you and I are friends.
Defend me against what?
I've been perfectly miserable for the last two weeks.
I'm so relationship conscious. Whatever I look at or think of, I always find I connect it with my marriage.
If I take a look on someone through a magnifying lens, I will find something, things I was never aware of before. Things I never noticed.
I don't know what's the truth anymore.
I'm completely confused. I'm so uncertain.
I'd always heard the ideal marriage should be something of a mystery.
I don't know yet, I'll let you know as soon as they call.
Now, I don't want to cause any trouble. But cold facts are cold facts.
My dear, that's the trouble with 95 percent of all marriages.
The joke is on me, huh.
When you came in just now you asked me if there was anything new.
It means 'to your health' or something like that.
It's just a little thing but you know how it is.
Why do you do that?
But when you do it, what does it mean?
If you want to call it that.
I don't know. I've never tried.
Darling, do you feel well?
Is there anything uglier than a human face?
Do you mind if I smoke? Do you smoke yourself?
Let me warn you that I say what I think. I'm a complete individualist.
I'm against everything and everybody.
Why do you say that? What's wrong with me?
You don't go to a psychoanalyst to have a tooth filled.
But what does one have to do to be happy?
This is the first time in my life I have ever met a really happy person.
I've often wondered what it would be like to be happy 24 hours a day.
My presence seems to annoy you so I think I'll leave.
We're both here for the same reason. Happiness.
I am very happy to have met you. Very sorry if I offended you.
It's only the surface. Art goes much deeper.
Are you sorry you came here?
Why do I bother you with all this?
You want me to enjoy this evening, don't you?
I'll let you in on a little secret.
I told you the other day, but that's the trouble. You never listen to anything I say. It makes no impression.
You know, sometimes I don't understand you.
Can't I just myself spend one evening with Rimsky-Korsakov and Stravinsky?
Why didn't you invite the whole philharmonic and bring Andrew Loyd Webber along as commentator?
Alright. Let's drop the whole thing.
Listen. Quit kidding me. What is it?
I know I'm just a poor ignorant person and I don't know anything about Stravinsky.
When I ask you a question you should be courteous and answer. You don't have to make fun of me.
It's a catastrophe. It's a disaster. [Name], we're sunk.
Darling, you don't begrudge me a little music, do you?
I'm so busy with my music and visiting art galleries that I haven't time to think of any doctor.
You know, I'm beginning to see something in this.
You took that seriously? I was only kidding.
I was nervous about the dinner party and I said whatever came into my mind.
Don't be stubborn. Can't you take a joke?
Don't make a martyr of [him/her/them]!
You've got to look at this thing from a woman's angle.
Things aren't going along as well as they used to.
What is the right approach?
I should say a mink coat would do the trick.
I'm afraid I'm not the right person to give you any advice.
I probably have too much sympathy for you, but not enough patience with [name].
There's only one thing you have to sell. Yourself.
There's nothing wrong with your marriage. You just have to resell it once in a while.
Who are you going to be this evening?
Make yourself at home. I'll be right back.
You're going to accuse me of something which I'll deny and you'll not believe.
I'm not going to fight. My hands are my only livelihood and I'm not going to risk them on your jaw.
That's very funny. You know what I thought?
Where would you be then?
I'm going to do something for you whether you like it or not.
I know. I understand. You're an isolationist.
You love my partner, don't you?
You should know better than that.
If you both felt you'd have been happier without me what can I have done?
I don't want there to be any bitterness.
Come now. Don't act like a little boy. What is it?
No. I wouldn't put you in that position.
Why should you take the blame?
Well, if there's anything you want ..
I don't need anything.
I think I can do better than that.
You know, I never cared so much for your friends.
Don't worry. You can rely on me. I won't disgrace the family name.
Do you really want this divorce?
I've always believed that you were sincere.
I'd like to take that memory with me.
I'm sorry if I hurt you.
Don't worry. There will be no bitterness.
Darling, there's nothing to worry about. It's a very clean-cut agreement.
Please. I'm so nervous. Can't you understand?
Keep quiet. It's my business.
Are you willing to take your coat off for me?
I'd say, maybe, you would slap the face.
As soon as I snap my fingers you start the argument.
Who are you to poo my mother?
I hope you'll forgive me disturbing you on a Sunday.
I've had a series of late nights. I'm not as young as I used to be.
I came to ask if in your future plans you have any use for me?
You're sure it doesn't disturb you?
I make nothing but a lot of noise.
I've picked up a few things. Some snapshots of us taken together.
Please don't make me go to [name place].
I didn't expect it to be easy.
Couldn't we just have dinner together tonight?
You promised to love, honor and obey.
I remember everything you said to me. I'd love to say it again [name] if you would only give me the chance.
Never again. I swear. There's no use pretending.