Shady. They felt sorry for your family. You leaving was apparently shady. You were eventually going to backstab your family. Frozen in the salon chair seat, the wooden expression had overtaken what was typically a facial expression full of life and joy at any given moment. Whoever this person was, spreading these fallacious rumors about her caused a heart-dropping sensation down towards the pit of her stomach after Nadine faced her with the reality. It had been two months since her return back into town. People still wanted answers and to stick their nose where it didn’t belong. The truth was, she didn’t know how many people assumed her leaving was indeed shady and her grand plan was to backstab her family, but in all hopefulness, an ounce of her wished it was a hand full instead a sea of individuals who didn’t know the truth of her leaving Newport after high school. They didn’t deserve it. Yet, they felt as if Jolie deserved the poisonous relationship with her mother ever since she was three years old. Did they know that? How her mother flipped a switch after her father, Pierre’s, funeral and erupted into hatred toward her only daughter. Any moment, whether it was one up to highest marks to be proud of, an instant jab from her mother. There was never a moment of happiness in their household. Not with the constant negativity and poison drifting between the mother-daughter relationship which had been on the rocks for years. Her decision to leave wasn’t selfish. It was for her own being. After having fallen into a pit of despair of using drugs, a brief period of a year until her startling revelation of her pregnancy had ultimately saved her life from addiction and welcoming a child into this world. At one point, she was rebellious and did things to numb the sensation of her mother’s crippling words which were etched into her conscious at any moment of the day. The days she once loved became a terror to her. In Charity Howard’s eyes, Jolie would never be enough. All of the things she did made her mediocre. And perhaps, that’s how all she would ever be to her mother. “Nadine,” she whispered, leaving the cavernous state of her silence whilst wrapping around the words. Tears began to form in the ducts of her seafoam hues, aggressively blinking them away from daring to cascade down her face. She wasn’t weak. This was far from who Jolie was. All she had ever wanted was to be loved. To feel loved by her own mother. It wasn’t too hard to ask for. Right? No, she didn’t think so. “Thank you for doing this. For me… for telling that lady to never come back. I can’t… thank you enough for this.” If there was one person Jolie knew would always stick up for her, it was Nadine. The comfort of her decision to ask the lady to leave after her appointment and to never return brought minuscule ease but other things overpowered.
Digits gently gripping on the lucent glass, bringing the cup to her lips, whilst desperation of substance to numb her overflowing emotions waiting to burst in front of Nadine. All of the soul and energy had been taken out of her. Nor did it help as her mind returned back to her youth, reacting all of the things Jolie once and for all wanted to forget. The blonde wanted people to forget about her life and her problems. She just wanted to focus on her issues without people inserting their opinions and lack of knowledge. The move alone had brought her anxiety to an uneasy state. How could she say no to further her career? It was a once in a lifetime solution. She studied the endless amount of hours in achieving both of her University Degrees to be here. It wasn’t selfish nor was it shady. It was her future. It was her every decision. No one made them for her. “I know,” a whimper had fallen from her petals. Jolie knew that. Nadine knew that. Those closest to her knew the truth of this situation. The minuscule effort of her hues remained focused upon items toward the spotless floor, lacking the courageous side of Jolie at this moment. Her mother still had power over her. Soon to be in her thirties, it felt as if her mother kept her on strings and still managed to control her life. “You don’t think I know that? You’re an amazing person. I saw the way you progressed ever since we first met each other, Nadine.” The example, wise enough, to realize where Nadine was coming from now. Where both of the females used to be in terms of their lives simply shouldn’t define their current selves. They were aware of that. Yet, as her hues didn’t dare to focus upon Nadine for much of the recent moments, those words from her friend had caused them to lift, showcasing a glassy set of her seafoam hues. A sight rare to be seen as luminescence overpowered every day. The silence was a virtue for her at this moment. The woman who allowed others to lean on her needed someone to lean on. Nadine was that person. “It’s not that simple,” she whimpered, swallowing the lump in the pit of her throat. “It’s not that simple.” Once more repeating to herself more than Nadine at this moment. The way her heart yearned to leap out of her chest and lay on the glacial, hard floor, hoping for a miracle for someone to stomp it away. There was a beautiful life out there for her. It just meant she had to get past this hurdle. Staring death set in Nadine’s hues, a tear cascaded down her fair complexion, “Did your mother ever tell you that you were unlovable? That every man who came into my life only was with me out of pity. Not because they actually loved me or could see more a future with me. But they felt sorry for you?” The vexation in her tone came out like spitfire. This sight of Jolie was rare. The gentle, fun-loving nature of the female would never hurt a single soul after the agony she felt. “Did she?” It was a genuine question, knowing those words etched into her mind. It made her feel unlovable. “I know so many things deserve my light. I want to fall in love. I want to move on from all of these feelings permanently. I……” an instant break in her words, a cascade of tears had eventually made its appearance, feeling as her hand began to gently shake, soon over her whole body. The uncontrollable set of sobs had begun to fall off her lips. Barely keeping her calm and collected self from earlier, the words fell off as an utter through sniffles and deep breaths, “God…. you’re right.”
Sick, pathetic, twisted—that's what it was; what people forgot to realize was that these rumors had more impact than what it appeared to seem on the surface as 'innocent'. It was far from that. "It's just what I've heard," or "It's all messy BS, people don't believe it anyway," were examples of arguments used by those spreading the insane speculations. People don't believe it anyway? What was the point, then? Boredom? Nadine bowed her head, shaking it quietly as she watched how Jolie was taking it in. Frozen, as she had imagined, because surprise, surprise words hurt. For a second there she silently regretted anything she herself might have spread in the past, wondering if she inadvertently hurt people like the dear person close to her. She knew what Jolie was really doing in that time spent away—fighting for her future, separating from the toxicity at home...all in all, people were awful by picking sides. She raised her head up again when the blonde spoke up with a whisper. A slight frown was promptly replaced with a melancholic smile as she watched the other woman aggressively blink away the urge to break down. If Jolie started crying, she would too. "Of course," she answered reassuringly, "of course, of course, of course." Losing one customer meant nothing when it involved a friendship that meant everything.
That same sad smile remained upon her features as she continued to listen. Being called an amazing person and having a truehearted confidant inform her of just how much she had progressed over time sent a feeling of warmth; while it was no question that there were still some internal battles within her that needed settlement, the expression of praise was certainly appreciated. She had the idea that adopting the family business and reconstructing aspects of it—from the company name to adding services and brainstorming possible expansion to branch out in other locations, had all been a part of the grand development in making a name for herself. From birth to the point of divorcing from her ex-husband, she always felt taunted by the pressures put on by her parents. Her personal life and the rash decisions made led to temporary and unhappy outcomes. As much as Nadine loathed to think it, the only person she could blame was herself after her world came crashing down. Maybe it was foolish to think making her previous and somewhat loveless marriage work once upon a time. Maybe she was just a fool to think she was actually in love. And maybe, she was a fool to believe in hoping the arrival of an unexpected new life into this cruel world could mend it all. Ultimately she was the fool that loved too fast and lost it all. She knew that one day she could have that shot again. Having a real love. Becoming a mother. Currently she was married to her work and while there was nothing to complain, there were those nights where she would roll over on an empty cold bed wondering where exactly she went wrong and if she could have done something better. Or if there was something she should have been doing now. Whenever her mind tortured her she shoved it away and had to realign it back to the good things in her life. The good people. The growing trust she had in knowing that things got better over time. Healing.
Naturally, the woman was a healer, wanting to put everyone first before herself and doing everything possible to be of help. A pang in her chest came about after hearing the accuracy in those words: It's not that simple. It's not that simple. And it wasn't. She nodded and couldn't argue. It was always easier said than done, life was far from easy. Her own parents told her to do this, and accomplish that, and at first glance it seems like it could have been coming from a place of love. Then again, Nadine thought, if her parents truly cared about her, they would have supported her from the jump and stopped breathing down her neck which led to those abrupt life choices and affecting her every move. Fortunately and unfortunately the old couple backed off after she had separated from her ex-husband and lost her baby. While she and her mother had a complicated relationship and their own issues, it burned her to listen to the hurt in her friend's voice. Both women had experiences uncomparable; at the same time, Nadine could only imagine how terrible it was to have a mother speak like that to their child in their formative years, let alone, speaking like that at all. She chewed on the inside of her cheek, eyes welling up with tears, reaching over to grab Jolie's hands. Jolie had this journey that Nadine knew from personal experience, is a journey that one must locate for oneself, but it didn't mean she had to go through it alone. "You're on the path to a beautiful destiny," is what she told herself, and now she was speaking it aloud to Jolie. "And you can. You so can move on from this. It can take time. Might have to run into obstacles in the way, but you are a fighter. You will get there." She squeezed her hands gently. "If shit goes down when those challenges get real, you can stand up to them. Or, if you don't want to and it makes you uncomfortable and you're not ready, you have the right to step away. Because guess what... you don't owe anyone, strangers telling lies, family members, anything! Fuck everything. You've got yourself." With a heavy exhale, the corners of her mouth turned up in a manner of optimism as opposed to the sad smiles from before. "And me, but that goes without saying."
