maybe some people would like to know that this image is being used to sell twist potato sticks in south korea (source: i took this picture when i was there)
I’m not the only one that suffers birthday blues right?? I have these big plans for my birthday and when it starts to come around all i can feel is this cloud of depression..to make it worse I’m too broke to even afford my plans and so I’m just going to rot in my bed and cry all through lollllll
Every year I tell myself I won’t cry on my birthday.
And every year I am incorrect.
Because I want people to celebrate me the way I celebrate them.
But it never happens.
Im not sure if it’s because of me being me. And no one actually likes me. Or if I’m too emotionless on the outside that they don’t recognize the thoughts I have on the inside. Or if they just don’t like birthdays in general and I have nothing to do with it.
while watching nana tour. i realized how cute it would be travelling with vernon to the shooting location of call me by your name. being all cute with him in italy. riding bikes, eating gelato, taking a swim in the ocean. (cue mystery of love by sufjan stevens) ✨✨✨
first of all - vernon would have a whole ass playlist ready for your trip. in fact, he’d start making it the second you even mentioned the idea of going on a trip.
second of all - travelling with him would be so peaceful. you wouldn’t have to worry about deadlines or any responsibilities, it’d be just you and him.
you’d fight over which ice cream flavour is the best, eat tons of amazing pasta, do a lot of “salute” while laughing your asses off, and do the typical touristy stuff, like visit museums and the monuments.
one of the days would be dedicated to going on a road trip to the outskirts of town to visit the smaller villages, where you’d rent bikes and just live your best lives, while the playlist he made would be quietly playing from his phone. at some point you’d find a secluded part of the beach where you’d just run straight into to the water without worrying that your clothes were still on.
you’re so right for saying it’d be cute, i also feel like it’d be so peaceful and healing. you’d spend the time in your little bubble of love not worrying about anything other than which pizza you should order.
just imagine the smile vernon would while watching you have fun splashing the water on him, or when you’d yell out the lyrics to a song while biking.
Synopsis: Headcanons of seventeen’s reactions/ behaviour when you are on your period.
Svt x gn! reader | fluff, comfort, established relationship | 1.6k words | warnings: reader has a uterus, menstruation, cramps, hormonal mood swings, medication, food | requested by anon
₊˚ෆ Drama is his middle name (Your pain is his pain)
Seungcheol, Junhui, Hoshi, Dokyeom
↬ There is nothing he hates more than to see you in pain. He hates that you have to go through all the discomfort and pain every single month for years on end. He’s also so sympathetic to whatever you are feeling. It’s as if your feelings and emotions are in sync with his. Seriously, he’s literally sobbing more than you during this time. When he’s with you, he’s shifting when you’re shifting in discomfort. He’s flinching and wincing when you’re writhing in pain. He’s sulking and nodding empathetically when you complain about how bad you’re feeling.
↬ The worst part is, he feels completely helpless in this situation. He rather shoulder the burden of your cycle, transferring all the discomfort and pain to himself. Alas, he can’t. All he can do is hold you, tend to your needs, and try to kiss away any pain you are feeling. And despite you reassuring him every month that what he’s done is more than enough, that you have been well taken care of, and that you always feel better when you’re with him, it doesn’t do much to settle that helpless feeling that festers within him. So, he swears that he’s going to be the best partner ever when you are on your period!
↬ He decides that your period = his days off from work or doing anything really. When you’re on your period, he’s extra clingy and cuddly. He wants nothing more than to be by your side as you go through your monthly torture. This is the best time to spend a few days being plastered to your side. He’s already giggling and giddy at the thought. He’s going to baby you even more than normal. Chocolate, sweets, food? Back rubs? Feet rubs? Heat packs? Whatever you need, he’s going to order it for you. You deserve to be pampered during these trying times.
↬ Wait… what do you mean he can’t take those few days off? What do you mean he still has to work? What do you mean he can’t follow you to school/ work? He’s going to be kicking, screaming, and grabbing at the door with tears running down his face dramatically as you either push him out the door, or as the members forcefully remove him from your side. That said, he manages to throw you his credit card, yelling to tell you to get whatever you want before he’s thrown into the car and driven to work.
↬ Bonus: Whenever he’s being dramatic, you simply shake your head in loving, but grateful exasperation even though you know you will have to take more frequent naps with him because he ends up tiring himself out more after getting so worked up.
₊˚ෆ Perceptive is his middle name (He’s basically your personal attendant)
Jeonghan, Joshua, Wonwoo, Mingyu, Seungkwan
↬ To say he’s observant, that would be putting it quite mildly. This man is perceptive. Now, what’s the difference you might ask? There’s an added layer of sensitivity to your emotions and behaviour. Every single little change in your position, a minor shift in your breathing pattern, every gasp or wince, or thoughtful look. He knows how you are feeling and what you need/ might need even before you do, bringing it to you in preparation for the exact moment that your brain registers that you need something.
↬ He can’t even begin to fathom how you feel, and he knows that there’s nothing he experienced that could ever compare to your period. What he does know is that you’re incredibly strong for pushing through all the pain and discomfort every single month. He knows it’s no easy feat. There are so many times when he sees you hunched over in pain, or times when you’re crying because you’re just so uncomfortable. Hence, during this time, he wants to make sure you take it easy, and that you’re extra well rested.
↬ He’s incredibly well prepared. He’s already done his research on how to help you. He might have asked his mother or his sister for advice. He’s going to be making sure you’re well hydrated, and well fed with all the nutritious food to replenish your energy and the iron in your blood. He knows what medication you need, and which teas/ foods help with cramps and bloating. He might not be the best cook, but you can be sure that he will go the extra mile of trying to cook the food for you. If not, he will go out and purchase it for you. Besides food, he has warm blankets ready for when you’re feeling cold, and the air conditioner ready for when you’re feeling too warm.
↬ You’re his precious s/o and you’re currently suffering. You deserve to be pampered even more than normal. He’s going to try to wait on you hand and foot, and he will coo at you whenever you whine about wanting something. Whatever you need, he’ll get it for you, don’t you worry. You don’t even need to move. Cuddles? Kisses? He’s wrapped around you like a koala already. You’ll definitely be his passenger princess during these few days (even though you’re basically that all the time anyway). He always tells you that he’s just a phone call away, and even if he’s busy he will make time for you. Of course, he will spoil you rotten. Whatever you want to eat, he’s going to get it for you as long as you make sure to strike a balance between that and the more nutritious meals. He’s also up on his feet in an instant bringing you whatever you need so you don’t have to move around too much. Long story short, your boyfriend during this time is also your personal attendant and nurse.
↬ Bonus: Once you went with him to practice, and you wanted to get something from the cafe. He literally stopped the practice halfway just to get it for you. And when the other members complained about him not getting them anything, all they got was an apathetic shrug as he made his way towards you, hands full of sweet and savoury treats.
₊˚ෆ Adaptable is his middle name (Let him know how he can help)
Woozi, Minghao, Vernon, Dino
↬ Unlike some people (ahem… the drama queens…) he accepts that periods are just something you have to live with. While the discomfort and pain due to the cramps can be debilitating at times, he knows that it’s not like you can put your whole life on pause. You have to go to work, school. Basically, you need to carry on with your life while still being on your period. He’s already very well adjusted to your routines and how to mold your lives around each other. However, during this time of the month, he tries to be even more accommodating and patient than normal.
↬ He knows you aren’t helpless. Even before you’ve met him, you have established a certain routine or standard procedure of what you want to do/ need to do when you’re on your period. You have a stock of pads/ tampons, medications, hot water bottles. You have an emergency stash of your favourite snacks that you like to eat. You even have different clothes you like to wear during your period because you’re going to be so uncomfortable and bloated. After you start dating, he takes note of all these things so he can help to ensure that you’ll have your supplies ready at all times.
↬ Admittedly, no matter how prepared you are for trying to make yourself as comfortable as possible during your period, there are things which are completely out of control. The biggest thing which inadvertently impacts everything else, is your period hormones. You can’t tell how emotional or irritable your hormones are going to make you. Each month feels like you’re playing emotion roulette. There are times you’re extra cranky, and perhaps the environment you’re in adds to that. But it’s hard to gauge whether other people are really annoying, or whether you just perceive them that way because of your heightened senses and hormones. And then there are other times when you’re a sobbing, sad, mopey mess who feels like crying over everything (inconveniences, genuinely sad things, and happy/ cute things alike).
↬ So, because he understands that your needs are different every single month, he defers to your judgment when it comes to what you need. But, he’s not a mind reader and as empathetic as he can be, he would prefer you to use your words to tell him what you need him to do so that he can care for you as best as he can. Once you do, he’ll indulge you in whatever you need and want. Your requests could be as simple as wanting more cuddles or attention, and he’ll be sure to shower you with as much affection as you want. Or it could be more complicated, like the times you wanted food from a specific restaurant 30 minutes away from your shared apartment. He’ll gladly make the extra detour after work. Like I said, he will try his best to be accommodating and patient with you during this time.
↬ Bonus: Of course, there are times when you have a particularly difficult time during your period. You’re exceptionally clingy and you don’t want to be away from him. When that happens, he brings you to work with him, letting you sit curled up next to him while he gets on with practice/ producing.
jimin and taehyung are only two months apart but jimin sounds like hes 12 and taehyung sounds like he’s gone through puberty twice and this is why i have trust issues
seriously and jin is older than yoongi by a year but yoongi looks like he’s been through multiple economic crises and built a home with his bare hands or something idek
And namjoon and hoseok are only 7 months apart. Namjoon talks as if he’s been reincarnated like 8 times while hobi is still using the \@_@/ emoticon idk
summary: living in 2077 isn't as fun as it sounds. the neolands is the last liveable place in the world, and it happens to be controlled by totalitiarianistic megacompany, nerocorp. you find yourself a wanted fugitive after stealing the nanocore to create the only known unsurvalinced android, jinx-7 (commonly referred to as jin), now the companies infamous owner, min yoongi, is out for you.
pairing/s: vampire!yoongi x fem!reader
warnings: cyberpunk!au, violence, blood and gore, abuse, vampire compulsion, smut, angst, murder, totalitarianism, government/company control, did I mention death? possessive!yoongi, yandere!yoongi, manipulation, enemies to lovers, stockholm syndrome (slightly due to compulsion/siring), blood drinking, bloodsharing. 18+ minors, do not interact.
Jungkook led you into the warehouse, carrying an unconscious Jimin over his shoulder. Your heart raced. Olconis had, in fact, changed since you returned. Maybe you were in over your head here, but walking into a dimly lit warehouse building doesn't exactly deem safe to you. Not anymore, anyway.
The neon hues flickered from outside the walls, the wind breaking noise within the industrial structure. The wind whistled echoes around the building. It flustered something nauseous inside you. There it be, another moment where your confidence shrunk. Your eyes drifted to an unconscious Jimin, hanging arms loose against Jungkook's backside.
The closer you got to him, the more nervous you became. He couldn't have changed far from the old Namjoon you knew. He was far too kind to become so cruel.
You giggled, hands reaching to push Jungkook away. "It's not fair, Kook," you whined, attempting to stand from the floor of your room. After your mother passed away, you had no one. You couldn't even remember how she had passed away.
All you knew is you awoke to a trashed house and blood covering it. But all of that changed when you bumped into a certain doe-eyed boy. He, although from Olconis, he was your shoulder to lean on. Helping raise your credit status back up. Building your own garage. Jungkook was the angel you never knew you needed.
You were currently housed in Olconis, in Jungkook's unit, alongside his roommate, Namjoon. He was older by several years. However, he still acted as young as Jungkook.
"C'mon ___, we're not done yet!" he huffed out, grabbing your wrist - pulling you back down to the floor. "You said you weren't ticklish. Don't tell me you lied.." Jungkook muses, his lip twitching slightly. You watched his fingers grazing your wrist, tracing invisible circles on you.
You shrugged your shoulders, the carpet on the floor making a slight sound from your actions. "You know." His eyes met your own, leaning close enough for your foreheads to touch. "Why don't you just stay here? You'd be protected by Namjoon and myself. No one would ever put you in harm's way - and you can have your own garage here," he said as his nose bumped your own. "In Olconis."
You moved back from Jungkook, your wrist, which once had traces of him now left bare. You wondered why he had been so adamant about you staying far away from the other sectors. What was his reasoning?
Feed a beast, and it will come back craving more. Its gluttonous nature will drain you. The second you let it in, you're theirs. That's how they get you. That's how you ended up in an abandoned small warehouse with an unconscious Jimin, a beaten Jungkook and Namjoon.
You didn't understand it at first. Why you had been taken. Why this was all happening to you?
But your inner turmoil clenched with every breath you took in the dusty abandoned space. Lights flickered as the old generators, you assumed, were decaying with age. It's greatly useless to try pushing your way out of this - given the motive that Namjoon had you in chains.
Chains he made Jungkook put on you.
You were angry, unsure, and above all, confused.
Something made him change into... someone else.. a monster. You caught a look into Namjoons brown eyes. What once was warm, kind, and gentle - now held sinister and cold blood. His hair was fluffy, but covered in a substance, you would only presume to be blood.
His face etched a grin as you shivered, his hand coming to contact with your skin. "Why so sad, gremlin?" There were several times in your life when you had been scared, frightened even. One of them resembled faint memories of your mother's passing that you couldn’t seem to remember fully.
Faint shadows etched your mind as you often desired a need to recap the passed event. The thumping of your heartbeat followed through as you pushed your anxiety down. Ears rang as though they had been pierced with sound, though they had not.
Namjoon had always made you feel safe. Now, he resembled those loose shadows that fragmented your mind late at night. The nightmares in your dreams. If you called nightmares dreams, what were dreams in themselves?
You tried leaning away from his touch. What once was warm now felt cold. What hands once held empathy, now fed off the chaos he created.
"Don't touch me," you spat, squinting your eyes in disgust. You couldn't believe how much he had changed in the few years you'd not seen him.
"Tsk.." He clicked his tongue, his body circling your own. Your eyes looked to Jungkook - who immediately turned his head back - away from you. Parts of his curly hair fell into his face as you watched him suck in a breath.
Your heart shattered. He was right, and he tried to warn you. To disappear. You weren't even sure where Hobi or Jin were. You had no backup - hell, you'd much prefer Yoongi's sarcastic remarks over this.
"Where's Hoseok, Namjoon?" you exhaled, finding the temperature dropped down in the atmosphere. Something inside you snapped at loss and passing of grievance, the overwhelmed urge to cry. Perhaps you’d been tricked here. Maybe you weren’t as smart as you thought yourself to have been.
"I sent them to Olconis for safety." You had fond memories of Olconis. Of both Namjoon and Jungkook. All of which seemed to have faded like clouds within a storm. The brewed up powerful storms that destroyed all in their path. It reminded you of the cyber storm that had struck the Neolands a few years prior.
The power of radiation, pollution, and the cybernetics shield protecting the city echoed in your mind. Its feeling strongly resembled that of what was happening now.
Your eyes matched Namjoons. "I guess I was mistaken. You've changed." You spat out, all of which closely resembled a viper's hiss. All thoughts of Namjoon had changed, in your eyes, he had become the very thing you were against in this world.
Namjoon flickered a smirk before he motioned with his hands for someone. You had guessed it was from the dark to come over, as you noticed a couple of goons pulling out their knives.
Namjoon pressed closer to you as the goons neared closer. One, now close enough to you. You flinched as they pressed the knife into the side of your throat. "Changed?" Namjoon murmured into your ear. A ripping shiver itched down your spine, his voice no longer tracing borderline teasing.
"You're the one who changed, gremlin." His voice traced to your other ear - the pressure of anxiety tightening your throat. That or the knife he had a goon digging into your throat.
You coughed, your body unable to move - your eyes frantic as you caught glimpses between Jimin flawlessly unconscious and irresponsive to anything; Jungkook, who became a bystander to this all. You felt a trickle of what you assumed to be blood, fall from the side of your neck. The knife pierced a small amount to your skin, hissing at the pressure.
"I thought we were a team. We'd help you, in return you help us," he hissed, pulling your hair back - a yelp releasing from your mouth in angst. "Here I find out from a little birdy that you're cosy up with Mr. Farconis. I don't take traitors lightly," Namjoon laughed crookedly as he let you go. His warmth you had previously known him for, disappeared the moment you walked into the warehouse.
You watched as Namjoon proceeded back to his original spot, near Jungkook. He clicked his tongue sucking in a breath, “Traitors.” You had thought perhaps there had been a misunderstanding. Why had Namjoon assumed your betrayal? You couldn’t place the reasoning in his methods. Why had his personality flipped the moment you entered Farconis? What happened in the weeks you spent there?
The goon he had pressed the knife closer before they pushed you onto the floor harshly - your head smacked into the concrete with a cry.
You exhaled a cry, rolling over in an attempt to sit up. Your head was punctured with a sharp pain from the blow. "I don't know what you're talking about - I don't - I'm not inv-" You slurred your words - confusion taking hold of your mind.
"Shall I get him out here to tell you himself?" He waved his hand in the air.
You squinted your eyes, your brows furrowed together. "Who are you talking about?" Perhaps this had been the brewed-up storm you had thought about from earlier. Your mind is left rigid and ragged from a blow to your head from a goon. Something inside you, instinctive and angry. If you had been betrayed by someone - you would be left with nothing left to lose.
Namjoon simply smiled in response.
Your instincts kicked into your bloodstream - a sick guttering feeling forming in your gut. You shook your head. "No," you
murmured. It couldn't be—someone who you had loved. Continued to love dearly - well up until now.
Your eyes tore from Namjoons as you hear a familiar whistle. Hobi. Your Hobi.
His body manoeuvred through old trash scattered across the space of the room, flawlessly - he guided himself towards you - by his side, Jin who followed closely. You watched faintly, black dots pattered your vision as sounds of footsteps echoed throughout the place, and his shoes released small taps.
"Hoseok." You omitted a cry, unknown to you - as blood trickled out of your head. You were more than likely concussed from before. The surging pain that sored in your mind both from the present situation and as you saw your best friend. Partial relief flooded your senses.
You waited for him to come up to you - to hold you close and whisper words of encouragement. Fuck. You’d kill to have him get you out of these chains that scratched your skin deep.
But Hoseok didn’t do any of that.
He simply looked as if you were a stranger. The chocolates of his eyes no longer looked at you as if you were holding a piece of him. Your friendship seemed nonexistent to him, as he nonchalantly looked to you. You felt abruptly disheartened, for several years he had been a light to you. Your sunshine on a dark day - the warmth that guided you during your hard times. Especially whilst making Jin.
It all hurt.
Your head, heart, mind; soul.
If Namjoon’s anger had switched to press information out of you, you couldn’t give them anything. You had nothing left to lose. He had taken your light, your best friend - now switched off, and closely resembled the perinthsia’s back in Harcodia - Farconis. Much of their emotions were artificial - mimicked versions of their masters.
You prayed that Jin had not changed into this too, albeit, his time here in Olconis - with Hoseok and Namjoon. That was your creation - you were his master. He could never hurt you, even if he so wanted to. You noticed the grease oiled in Jin's hair as he pressed emotionless faces to both yourself and the others around him. You were unable to read his emotions, but body language suggested he had switched them off.
“Now that I have your attention, __,” Namjoon chuckled as he flicked his own hair back with his hand. You watched his actions, wanting nothing more than to rip his hands from his body. He had unleashed an anger within yourself you never realised you had. You figured he had no soul.
Of course, he didn’t, if he did he wouldn’t be doing this. You thought mindlessly to yourself. You stilled as Hoseok stood proudly next to Namjoon - their closeness irritated you severely. “I’m going to offer you a deal, you decline and I’ll kill everyone you ever cared for,” Namjoon spoke darkly, his voice deepening as he pulled out his cybernet device.
You gasped, as Namjoon stuck a small device on Jungkook’s neck. Jungkook flinched out in reaction to his skin pierced with the device's bug. It crawled and latched onto the warmth of his neck before it created a neck gadget around him.
“What are you doing?!” you sobbed, attempting to push yourself closer to Jungkook, who now had fallen to the ground in pain. You couldn’t believe what you had been seeing. Jungkook and Namjoon were long best friends, brothers. You could not remember a time when they were not together. It shocked you how fast he had turned on everyone, not just yourself, but Jungkook too.
Your eyes flickered between everyone. Jin, who simply watched it all - no words exited his mouth. Hobi - no, Hoseok, who had simply smiled menacingly at you before he crossed his hands. Namjoon, as he stopped playing with his cybernet auburn device, watched your reaction with pleasure.
Then there was Jungkook, all but not deserving of this torture. You understood their friendship went deeper than some of the roots within the Neolands - but this? This was a betrayal of the deepest cuts - a war within Olconis had started. Fuck. It had started all around the Neolands. You almost let out a jagged sob as he whined from the pain pressured on his neck.
Jimin had still not awoken - and you were frightened Namjoon’s goons would kill him, better yet, torture him too. His blonde scruffed hair splayed across the cold grey cemented floor.
“Give me access to Jin’s codes - or I’ll poison Jungkook from the inside out.” Namjoon peered his eyes into your own, as you glanced back at him. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. Hurting his own best friend to get to you - to Jin. It poisoned your own jagged mind. Fractured you restless and uncomfortable.
“You must be some type of psycho to hurt or maim your own best friend,” you sneered. You then felt a pressing force from the blade next to you from the goon, who returned the blade to your neck, this time, it had become stronger. Hissing, you continued on, “What could Jin have that is worth the friendship of both I and Jungkook himself?”
Namjoon’s eyes twinkled mischievously. He pressed a button on his device and Jungkook screamed - no wailed. As he did, it shattered your mind. You never wanted this for him - for him to get hurt in the process of this.
Had this been Namjoon’s plan all along? Play with your emotions like a toy? Get you close to Jungkook, for him to support your way back up to Harcodia - to use your mind and expertise in creations of Perinthsia’s; to build himself an army, perhaps?
“Whatever you’re thinking, you are more than likely right,” Namjoon replied, stuffing the device he had pressed in his hands into his pocket. He moved over to where Jungkook had been kneeling on the ground - he grabbed his face, softly., “I’m sorry, Kookie, but it's for the change.” He kneeled to come face to face with Jungkook. “You’ll understand, right?” Namjoon patted his head, before pretending to pick off dust from his shirt.
You watched closely as Namjoon slowly turned his head towards your figure. “What’s it going to be, ___?” He lifted his hand, motioning for the goon to leave you, the strain from the sharp knife at your neck, leaving. You rolled your head around, the ache, you presumed was from tensing away from the knife so much.
A thought crossed your mind as you stared at Jungkook. His eyes telling you to not give him anything. You weren’t sure what to do. If you gave him the codes, Jin would no longer be yours; your creation would be someone else’s. If you declined his offer, you wouldn’t be able to save Jungkook. Jungkook meant an awful lot to you.
You felt your throat tighten, as a pressure rang in your nose - you attempted to not cry. “I can’t do this, Namjoon.” You leaned your head down to your own shirt, attempting to dry your own uncontrolled tears. “You can’t do this to him, to both of us; weren’t we friends?”
Namjoons eyes faulted for a moment, his eyes watched your position on the floor you hoped to be swallowed by. You prayed he could be swayed from what could potentially happen. Only wanting to build a better Neolands - that was your mission, your purpose. If that meant this was to happen, you would have been selfish and left everyone else to suffer - for the hope of your friends and family surviving.
You hadn’t realised you let out a scream when Namjoon had pressed a button in his pocket, releasing the poison from the bug on Jungkook. You scratched at the chains placed behind your back as you watched black veins petrude from Jungkooks neck - he cried, the metahuman in him began to shift through different faces; Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, Jin, Namjoon - Yoongi. That’s when you lost it.
Your airways constricted, your voice had dissipated. You couldn’t breathe, with hopeless attempt to crawl your way to Jungkook.
“We were never anything, ___,” Namjoon sneered, dropping his hold on Jungkook’s head - you crawled to him. The cement scuffed your knees as you did so - the pain almost not nearly as vivid as what you had witnessed.
Your heart pierced with pain as you managed to catch his head with your shoulder. “Kookie, please,” you cried as you watched from your side how slow his breathing had gotten.
You looked back at Hoseok, Jin and Namjoon, “You’ll never get Jin’s codes, he belongs to me! Hoseok can try and decode all he wants,” you sneered, an icy glare protruding from your face to Hoseok and Namjoon, one which both easily reciprocated back to you. “You’ll never have him.”
Namjoon attempted to walk his way over to you, but was stopped by Hoseok, who placed a hand to his chest. “Leave her, she’s chained - Jungkook is dying, there’s nothing left for her but to rot.”
Your tears continued to fall as you watched them disappear. “Jin. Follow us,” Hoseok ordered, before grabbing Namjoon, guiding him away from you. Namjoon’s goons followed.
Your eyes landed on Jin, who stood still for a moment, before quietly walking to you. He pressed a hand gently to your cheek, his hand whipped the tears, “I’m sorry, Master.” Jin’s voice faulted, a soft mechanical whine exhaled from him. He turned to your backside, as he pulled at one of the chains, loosening it. “I can’t do it all, they will be suspicious.”
You watched as he bowed his head at you, his oily black hair, matted dirty skin only showing how mistreated he was being. He didn’t deserve this either. “It’s okay, Jinnie,” you whispered, your voice cracking at the strain from all your wailing. You surveyed Jin as he left you alone - alongside an unconscious Jimin, and a dying Jungkook.
Once you knew the coast was clear from them, you pulled at your chains, managing to break free from their hold. You turned your body facing Jungkook. “Kookie?” you murmured, your hand placed on both sides of his face, cupping it. You leaned your forehead against his as he groaned, “It’s - it’s not your fault, ___,” he sputtered out, as he coughed up a black substance. The reminants fell on your shirt, but none of that mattered at that point. It was him who needed help.
“I’m gonna help you, okay?” You hushed him, leaning him on the floor before crawling over to Jimin. You shoved him, “Jimin? Jimin! Wake up, please!” You continued to shake him and to your surmise he groaned, walking up. “Get off me, you moron. I feel like I’ve been walked on.”
You hit his chest lightly, as he opened his eyes, a red hue omitted from them. “No time to explain but I need you to help me! Jungkook is hurt, I need your blood or something - Do something!” You were desperate to save Jungkook, and you weren’t sure how long he had left, counting the jagged breathing patterns that became more present with every passing second.
Jimin sat up from his position, looking over from behind your figure - an almost unconscious Jungkook lied, drenched in his own sweat and blood. Jimin glanced back to you, a frown settled on his porcelain toned face. “There's nothing I can do for you, ___, I can’t save him.”
Jimin groaned as you shook him, your hands pulled him to Jungkook. “No, that’s not true,” you murmured pushing him to Jungkook, you knew he could do something - he had to have that healing ability - he was Shador. Didn’t they all have healing abilities?
“Do something!” you hissed as you grabbed Jungkook, pulling him into your embrace. His body had dropped in temperature, and you slowly lost your shit. You mind began swirling down a deep, dark hole. “Jimin!” you cried out, as you felt Jungkook’s pulse slow.
Jimin winced at your pitch, his ears must have been sensitive from the knockdown he had earlier. “Help me, please! Help Jungkook.” You had never felt more hopeless than you did now. You rendered yourself powerless to Jimin. You practically begged for his help and he was as stiff and still as a stone.
“I don’t have that ability, __! I can’t help you!” he remarked, avoiding your gaze as you held Jungkook closer. You furrowed your brows. If he couldn’t help you - this meant that Namjoon won. He took your so-called best friend, Hoseok, and your truest best friend, Jungkook.
“Jungkook?” You cusped his face with a shaking palm, his skin dropped in colour - his eyes drooped as he flinched in your arms. “No, no, no, Jungkook? Jungkook!” you repeated, pressing yourself closer to his body, Jungkook then began choking on his breath. His breathing slowed.
“Please don’t leave me, Kookie. I need you here, with me - I promise I’ll stay this time. We can do what you always wanted.” You sobbed into his arms, nothing mattered at that moment, not Jin, not Namjoon. It was just you and Jungkook. Your best friend; platonic soulmate. “And - and I won’t run away. We - we can just stay here.”
You knew without any help, he wouldn’t be able to survive. With Jimin unable to help, all you could do is cry into Jungkook’s neck. He faintly exhaled a shallow breath, and you felt his hand, which you once held, lose its grip. This caused you to cry harder into his cold body. All whilst you mumbled your sorry’s, rocking back and forth into his own.
“__, please talk, we need to get back - I need to get you back.” Jimin pleaded with you, a fragrance of annoyance hinted in his voice. It had been weeks since Jungkook’s death - and you buried him next to his old unit - now abandoned. Since his passing, you stopped speaking much, and that was straining on Jimin as he tried to communicate with you.
You had been hiding out there with Jimin since your gadgets broke - unable to connect with the first two sectors. Namjoon was lurking around - and it was only a matter of time until he figured out you were hiding out at Jungkook’s old place. Your mind was in shambles, overwhelmed by grief and sadness.
Jimin was getting angsty since it had been a few days since he last ate. Namjoon’s goons were nearing closer to your hideout and Jimin used them as food most the time. That was the only time you were thankful he had been a Shador - getting rid of Namjoon’s goonies. But a few days ago, the goons that usually patrolled around had stopped patrolling. This had made both you and Jimin anxious - so Jimin was trying to convince you to leave with him.
You shook your head in response to Jimin, which caused him to grumble as his own response to you. You understood the dangers and risks to staying, but you felt this was the last piece of Jungkook you had left. You couldn’t just leave.
You spent most of the time in Jungkook’s old wardrobe. His scent calmed you. Old cologne filled up his room and throughout the unit. You mused those days where things hadn’t been so hard. But you ruined it all. Ruined Jungkook, Jin, Hoseok. Namjoon tainted Hobi - Jungkook tried to save you and that killed him.
It was all your fault.
You were the reason he had died that night.
You were selfish.
If you had just -
“__, stop overthinking to yourself and grab that bag, I’m done with your bullshit,” Jimin spoke gruffly - causing you to stop your train of thought to come through.
You picked up an old photograph of you and Jungkook - shoving it in your bag, before pulling one of Jungkook’s old hoodies over your head. You didn't want to leave, and frankly you did not care if Namjoon and Hoseok had found you here. You already felt dead inside.
Jimin looked over at you, his eyes softened as he watched you for a moment. You knew he had just be hangry, and anxious from being in uncharted territory. But the way he had looked at you presently felt as if he had simply pitied you and you hated it.
"I'm sorry I couldn't help." Jimin's usual mischievous and teasing tone, replaced with sincerity. You knew he felt bad - and you couldn't blame him for not being able to help. Rather you blamed yourself for getting the both of you in this situation.
You shrugged your shoulders as you swinged the backpack over them. "Nothing we can do about it now, can we?" You stared back at him, before pushing through him. "Let's just go already. The border is not far from here. You're lucky Jun-" You stopped yourself from saying his name as a pain omitted from your chest.
Don't cry.
Don't cry, ____.
Jimin walked towards you, simpathinsingly, and to your surprise he hugged you. Almost worried he might break you, he patted your pack momentarily before he let go.
"I'm not the best person to talk to, I tend to push my emotions behind me, I focus mainly on the logic of life - but if you ever want someone to talk to you can…" Jimin hesitated, before he continued. "... You can come and talk to me."
You nodded curtly, not wanting to open up about it right now. But it was good to hear someone say something more positive.
You couldn't get your mind away from what had happened. From that day, soon after Jungkook's death - you begged Jimin to help you put him to peace.. He complied, you swore you heard him mumble ideations to avenge and stop Namjoon from his fanatic and repulsive ideations.
You were so drained emotionally - physically, even, that walking through the streets of Olconis with Jimin had almost rendered you breathless. Your body was drained from grief - you didn't even realise you had lost your own personality, namely you're sassy, and naturally bratty nature. Unsure, you almost collapsed as you made it through the gates to Harcodia - there one of Yoongi's cars seemingly waited for the both of you.
You were shocked to find no Yoongi staring you down the minute you got in the luxurious flying car. The LEDs illuminated around the car's exterior - softly changing in colour as you flew over Harcodia.
You glanced over at Jimin, who had just then relaxed into the leather seating. He pushed his hair behind his face - You definitely had seen better days on him. But you knew you had seen better days, too. The both of you didn't speak the whole car ride - only reminiscent of the past few weeks.
These few weeks had pushed you to a breaking point you didn't realise you had. You were captured, hurt, and witnessed the death of one of your old friends. You had practically tasted a sour feeling the whole time. You hoped that whatever Farconis had in store for you, as you stepped out the electric car, would not be as bad as what had just been.
The misty rain flowered your hair in small drops as you closed the car door behind you. You held your arms close, tucked in between one another as you hugged yourself. The familiar purple hued building, followed by a misty cloud fogged your eyesight once more.
You nodded in response as Jimin had ushered you with his hands inside the building. The immediate warmth caused a pleasant sigh to release from your mouth. Goosebumps that had once lingered on your skin - had now faded with the closing of the electric entrance to the building.
Guards had been standing side by side adjacent to you and Jimin. Their black suits radiated a sense of wealth you remembered noticing as you once stuck your way into the sector. That had felt like such a long time ago, in comparison to these last few weeks.
You flinched as one of the guards wrapped a heated blanket around your body. The warmth of both the atmosphere and the blanket almost drowning you into a slumber. You mumbled a quiet thank you in the thick - yet quiet lobby. It was late at night - and you assumed the ones who had been present now were regular guards on night shifts, and for Yoongi's penthouse.
You walked your way to the elevator, alongside Jimin - who had also received a blanket for his drenched and dirty state. You probably had smelt like death - notably so, you hadn't had a shower for at least a week. Jungkook's unit lost power and water systems a week after his passing. You assumed it was Namjoon taking control and reign of the unit.
The two guards alongside you and Jimin had followed suit to the elevator with you. Their earpieces flashing a certain similar purple every known again as the radio frequencies went off in their ears.
Yoongi probably found out you were back.
A part of you was hesitant to see him - almost anxious. Indeed, Yoongi had not hurt you throughout your stay with him in those weeks you resided with him. But to see his face once more ushered butterflies in your stomach.
As you heard the elevator ding to the highest level, Yoongi's penthouse, you awoke from your dazed daydreaming state. You were on the verge of collapse - as your body began to switch off survival mode. Your adrenaline, almost out of fuel.
The doors opened and you were greeted with a certain set of dark chocolate eyes. Your own eyes softened at his - as you found yourself walking out of the elevator. You couldn't take your eyes off his. You hadn't realised Jimin had long left the elevator- probably to find himself a new set of clothes, a shower and something to sleep on. The guards, now long gone from the elevator.
Your vulnerable state had rendered you weak and anxious - but for some reason, as you looked into the iris of his own, you felt that familiar tingling sensation in the back of your mind.
You both had not said anything, simply stared at one another. That changed as you dropped to your knees in front of him. Yoongi's soft inhale as you continued to lock your eyes with his own. You were the first to break eye contact as you clinged your arms to his legs.
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt anyone." Tears welled in your eyes as you spoke with a wheeze. You coughed and cried on the floor, your nose blocked up from the tears. "It's my fault! I hurt - hurt everything I touch!"
Deep in your broken down state, you hadn't realised Yoongi had picked you up from the floor - unlatching your arms from his legs. His arms circled your body - as he hoisted you up into his arms. Your heart ached - burned, even. You were inconsolable.
When Yoongi had placed you on his bed, was when you awoke from your teary state. Your eyes widened, swollen and red from your crying.
You tried pushing Yoongi away, "no, please don't hurt me - don't hurt anyone!" You screamed, thrashing around, unable to hear Yoongi's voice as he attempted to speak to you - all but muffled in your ears. "I'm sorry, I couldn't choose. I killed him - it's my fault -" Your pleas and cries had been stopped as Yoongi grabbed you - his arms encompassed your body.
""Shh. No more - you're safe, ___." Yoongi whispered, the weight of his body felt like a warm blanket - not just one of those ones the guards had placed on you. Your cries had slowly turned into whimpers, eventually until sleep had overtaken your state.
You wondered how long it would take until Yoongi, even, would see the monster in you.
How could someone care for a monster?
If not for the shadows that played in your head all day?
a/n: a long one, right? fuck sorry, kinda died (cried) making this and came back to life. but I'm here now, so is yoongi.
