Welcome to Perfection

Nanette Barder||Pureblood||4th Oh, don't call me Olivia, please, call me Nanette. Pleasure to meet you, yes I am a Barder and a fourth year at Hogwarts University. I'm sure you've heard all about me, if not, it must have been so tragic to have been living under a rock. All my sympathies go to you.

[heartbends]

[claretlacey-blog]

Well, if it isn’t the older, and even more expellerific Barder. It’s absolutely fab seeing you, too, even if our reunion was brought about by a barmy bird. Quinet’s just been more irritable, lately - whiny git always liked ‘Quin better, you know. It’s been ages, or feels it in any case. I’m totes sorry I didn’t make the effort to come see you sooner, but I hope you’ve been doing well considering.

No, you’re splash-and-spot on. I ask in hopes someone will dish out bawfaggotries about how their lives suck, so I have more bitching material. However, running into you, I’m totally curious as to how you’re doing. Hm, not as many as you’d think. I’ve been more positive lately, it’s ew, gnarly. Hopefully it’ll pass. 

[nanette-barder]

It certainly is, it's pleasing to know that you still have functional eyes and memory. Well, better a barmy bird than a tragic incident, yes? Though I do believe our reunion is long over due. I take your apology, doll because you're a totes favorite of the family. And perhaps one of the only friends that Little Poo has that je t'adore. Of course, darling, you should now by now that I'm always fabulous. 

Sneaky, though I shouldn't have expected any less. Are you now? Well, aren't I swimmingly flattered. Though I've got nothing for you to report in your little Burn book. Rather disappointing to hear that, I was hoping that you'd gained a few that you disliked, particularly a Lukas Clarion. But seeing how you're all sunshine and rainbows now, I assume that's not the case. 

[claretlacey-blog]

Ugh, gingersnaps. Has anyone seen a very angry - bezoomy mad scale angry - owl fluttering about? Quinet is very irritable, and she does bite, dollface, so if you do see her try not to approach her. Just let me know. Especially since she has my letters with her.

That aside, hope everyone’s feeling saucy and not too hungover, or anything equally unspliffy.

[nanette-barder]

Fortunately, I haven't. You should take better care of your little critters, doll. Who knows what'll happen if you anger them just enough. That aside, it's lovely to see you, Claret. How many years has it been since the last time we've seen each other face to face? You don't seem to have changed at all.

I never pinned you to be one of those people who cared about how people are doing. Though I'm sure there are a couple people you would want to wish ill on. 

[lukas-clarion]

Whoever got me this teddy bear

[lukas-clarion]

You can go to hell. I’m going to walk away, don’t stare at my back for too long, babes. 

[nanette-barder]

As appealing as hell is, I don't need permission from the likes of you to do anything. Keep up with the cute act, Clarion. I'm sure someone will buy it. I'll let mother know you send her your love. And I won't, I'll take a picture of it and send it to mother. It was so thoughtful of you to suggest that. Ta-ta.

[lukas-clarion]

Whoever got me this teddy bear

[lukas-clarion]

I what?! Listen here, whoever the fuck you are, I have a policy not to sleep with married women. On top of that, you look around your 20’s which means your mother had to be at least 20 when she had you unless if it was an early pregnancy. Either way, she’d be over her 30’s and I haven’t banged anyone over their 30’s. I tend to shy away from the older ones and so, no, fuck no, I didn’t sleep with your mom. 

[nanette-barder]

Hilarious, Clarion. No you know what, doll? Ignore what I said befre. Continue with this little charade, it's amusing to see you in this state of distress. 

[sayumae]

[lukas-clarion]

Whoever got me this teddy bear

[lukas-clarion]

Original of you, mudblood? Taking a lesson from the classic textbooks. But reminds me, how the fuck do you know I’m a muggle born? What the fuck are you talking about?

[nanette-barder]

At least I can read and understand the words on the textbook. Aw, but do forgive me, I didn't mean to make the mudblood upset. Clarion, your initial reaction of forgetfulness, granted annoying, was amusing but now it makes me want to slap you. Do tell me, how do you forget bedding my mother? She'll be very upset to know her boy toy forgot all about her. 

[nanette-barder]

Hello, Hogwarts University.

[louviathan]

-Cocks an eyebrow and eyes her up and down- It’s really not a matter of remembering you. I don’t know you, so I can’t say I missed you.  

You seem to think yourself well known though. So it’s swell meeting you, I suppose. The name’s Elora, and you? 

[nanette-barder]

Then why comment on that bit at all? Best not to waste breathe or time now, wouldn't you agree? 

Not a think, I know. Pleasure meeting you as well. Elora, ah, you did seem familiar. Elora Xanthe, am I right? Fancy meeting you here in University. Didn't snipe you as the type to come to such a place, too much talent in Quidditch to be here in my opinion. What could the coaches here teach a stunning prodigy seeker such as yourself? Unless if you're pursuing a different route. My name is Olivia Nanette Barder though I go by Nanette now. 

[chez-barder]

Because you’re you, obviously. -winces as the actions, fighting the urge to pull away due to the risk of ruining his face-

She’s the woman who gave birth to me and took care of me my entire life, she deserves the title. I don’t see why you’re so - ah. Nevermind, I’ll ask her since you’re obviously not budging.

[nanette-barder]

Yes, I am me. It's so comforting to know you know that, I was beginning to worry about your intelligence. -Smiles cruelly as she removes her finger from his cheeks- 

If you knew half the things she did, I wouldn't be too sure that she'd still hold that beautiful warm title in your heart. Do as you like Little Poo but I guarantee you, Lillian won't say a word so let your curiosity die. It won't do you any good. 

[nanette-barder]

Hello, Hogwarts University.

[libby-connors]

You know what. I’m just gonna bite my tongue and walk away. Because the sister of Chez, and I wouldn’t want to upset him by saying something that I shouldn’t to you. So, goodbye Nanette.

[nanette-barder]

Oh good, you know when to do yourself a favor. I understand, it's hard to talk to someone like me and after what I've gathered, you'd only hurt your brain trying to keep a conversation with me. Don't bite too hard, or you'll die, but you should know that. Toodles, thanks for saving me from the snoredom boredom that was coming along. 

[chez-barder]

Why? Is it laced with poison? I’m going to pass but thanks for the offer.

It’s not adorable, it’s normal. She is my mom after all. You know what? Fine, I’ll ask her. I’m sure she’ll tell me.

[nanette-barder]

Oh Little Poo, you are so hilarious. Why would I lace a prize with poison? -With a twinkling laugh, she pinches his cheeks- 

Yes, she's the woman who gave you birth into this world. Pity that she did. Go ahead, though I doubt she'd tell you, it'd be too much for her icky Little Chezie Wezzie. 

[nanette-barder]

Hello, Hogwarts University.

[libby-connors]

Wasn’t that long ago. Didn’t think it would be too difficult to remember you. Right. That. Well, sorry. That wasn’t my finest sentence. But no. I don’t have a speech impediment. I just make slip ups sometimes. We do actually. Since him having put up with me for so long.

[nanette-barder]

It's comforting to know that you're memory is still intact as I am an unforgettable person. Though, you must forgive me, I have a tendency to forget uninteresting people who don't make a clear first impression on me. Oh, how unfortunate. I suppose you're just unable to form coherent sentences then but no matter, all is forgiven. Are you done now? 

[nanette-barder]

Hello, Hogwarts University.

[libby-connors]

Libby Connors. I met you a couple of years ago, along with your parents. I said, it’s nice to see you again. Chez is my friend, and has been so for years, of course I’m going to defend him.

[nanette-barder]

 Did you now? Well, I'm flattered that you remembered me. No, that wasn't the phrase I was referring to. The comment you said that I was referring to was, "I’m sure Chez would keep everyone do quite the opposite to boring us all," which makes no sense even after repeating it a couple times. I do understand though, if you have a speech impediment then it's not your fault. Oh has he? Well, I don't recall him talking about a Libby very often. But no matter, I'm sure the two of you get along swimmingly. 

[nanette-barder]

Hello, Hogwarts University.

[libby-connors]

Should have guessed that you’d be here too Nanette! It’s … nice to see you again. I’m sure Chez would keep everyone do quite the opposite to boring us all. Even if I haven’t heard much from him since we got here.

[nanette-barder]

And who are you again? I've recall your face but your name escapes me because of your irrelevance. I'm sorry, come again? Please, if you are to speak to me, at least attempt to formulate a coherent sentence. Aw, and defending Little Poo, how adorable. You're quite the adorable little red head aren't you? 

[nanette-barder]

Hello, Hogwarts University.

For those of you who remember me, missed me? Rhetorical question, but I do hope that Little Poo didn't bore the tears out of you. 

[lukas-clarion]

Whoever got me this teddy bear

[lukas-clarion]

Sorry, do I know you? 

[nanette-barder]

Hilarious. What an unoriginal approach, you could have at least tried but then again, what could I expect from a pathetic mudblood like you. But I suppose after fucking with a woman like that, anyone would want to forget the entire experience and consequence. 

[nanette-barder]

NANETTE BARDER OH DEAR MERLIN I NEED TO SEE YOU AT ONCE

Hello baby, I heard from a duckling that you'd be around. Saunter into my room, it's always open for you. Fourth year dorms on the 4th floor first room to your left. I'll be waiting.