Sad Girls Poems

These are all poems I wrote in high school that I want to share. I'm no longer the sad girl who wrotes these so please no one worry about me. Some of these will have dates of when I wrote them and others I'll just put what grade I was in. I'm trying to post them in oldest to newest but the notebook I have them all in is out of order so it's going to jump around a bit, sorry. 

[nat-k-blog1]

September 20th, 2015

I need you more then ever 

I can’t do this on my own 

Without you I would have broken by now 

But you have somehow kept me whole 

Your words help me and sooth me when nothing else can 

Listening to your music

The right song always comes on

The words I need to read or hear you always make come on 

Thank you for everything 

I hope I’m everything you want me to be 

I’m trying my best... I think  

[nat-k-blog1]

September 14th, 2015

I’m to tired for this 

I don’t know what I did wrong but it seems I do something wrong everyday now...

I don’t mean to 

I just want this to end

I don’t want to feel this way

I hate the fact that you are

I love you but this is causing me so much stress and worry 

I can’t focus in class anymore 

I just want to cry but instead I wear a blank look on my face

I’m done 

[nat-k-blog1]

10:57 AM August 12th, 2015

She had to keep moving because she knew if she stopped moving and keeping herself occupied then she would break 

Her knees wanted to give out but she wouldn’t let them 

She lend against a wall to help support her weight 

She looked in the mirror and saw big wide eyes, a round face, small lips, a nose a bit to big and hair that wouldn’t stay in place

Some things she liked while others she hated 

She wanted to take a step back and look at the rest of her body but if she moved she would fall

She wouldn’t tell anyone what was wrong

She told one person and they were there for awhile but then left her for 30 minuets which was the worst thing they could have done

She just wanted to fall and cry but she had to be strong 

  She could plaster a fake smile on her face that everyone would buy 

She had done it before 

It wasn’t that hard 

People thought they knew her but they didn’t 

They couldn’t see past her mask whenever she put it on 

She almost fell 

It was getting harder and harder to stay standing 

It was either keep moving or don’t move at all 

Looks like it was the last choice

[nat-k-blog1]

11:14 PM August 5th, 2015

I hold a lot back from you now 

You always seem to make it about yourself 

You need me but when I need you you’re no where to be found 

I want to cry right now but am I going to text you?

No 

I don’t want to make you worry and also I want to be stronger and get use to not relying on you 

Because I have a feeling I won’t have you anymore soon 

And that scares me and makes me sad 

But it’s how I feel 

I just want to curl up into a ball and disappear 

[nat-k-blog1]

1:00 AM August 3rd, 2015

Ok I get it 

I’ll be your perfect little girlfriend

No wait I’m just a doll now 

I’ll dress how you like, act how you like, I’ll just be a shell of who I really am 

But you won’t notice or care 

I’ll be all the things you want me to be 

I want to cry but I’m holding it back 

I’m such a good little actor 

No one knows how I feel

You asked if I was crying and I said no 

Even though at that moment I had a tear going down my face 

I have a feeling when we get off the phone I’ll break down and cry of feeling nothing at all

[nat-k-blog1]

10:55 PM August 2nd, 2015

I’m drowning in a sea of emotions 

Pain, anger, lose, numb, loneliness, like I did something wrong 

I’m just trying to protect you... 

I care so much about you 

Please tell me whats going on 

In person we’re fine but over the phone nothing ends well

I feel like you’re avoiding me  

You may not be but I’m so afraid you’ll leave me I can’t help but worry

We talked a tiny bit today 

I have a feeling it’s because you felt like you had to not because you wanted to hear my voice or hear about my day 

Maybe you were looking for sympathy but I just couldn’t give you any today 

I’m so afraid I’ll have to break up with you and I really don’t want to 

But I’m starting to feel that’s the only option I have left 

I don’t want to be controlling over your life but I also can’t deal with what you used to do and what you’re doing 

It’s effecting me too 

You might not think it is or would but it really does 

I just don’t know what to do 

I want to send you this but I don’t want you to get mad at yourself or at me 

I love you but I don’t know how much longer I can take this  

[nat-k-blog1]

9:00pm August 2nd, 2015

I feel so much pain right now 

What happened to us?

We used to talk all the time and now I feel lucky if I get a call

I just want to cry and shout 

I want to scream out all my pain I’m feeling

I don’t know what to do 

I want to cut but it will just make you mad 

It will also make me mad in the end

I don’t know how to cope with my emotions anymore 

So instead I write my feelings in a “poem”

If I can even call these things I write poems 

They don’t rhyme or anything

I guess I can call them poems because of all the raw feelings I put into them 

I don’t know what to do anymore with you 

I don’t want to be to controlling but I can’t stand to think of anything bad happening to you 

I wish I could tell you how I feel but I don’t know how you’ll react 

I don’t know if you’ll drink or dive yourself into a deeper depression 

Ugh I’m just so confused 

Even my mom knew something was wrong today 

Because I was so upset that you didn’t text me back 

I don’t wanna break up with you but you’re making it my only option right now

[nat-k-blog1]

10:59pm June 30th, 2015

Sometimes I look in the mirror and don’t recognize myself  

Do I really look like that?

Do I look that tired and defeated all the time?

Do I always have these dark circles and sunken in eyes?

What happened to me?   

[nat-k-blog1]

2:17pm June 29th, 2015

No one understands the joy I feel right before I ride 

Just knowing I get to see the horses brings such an amount of happiness 

It doesn’t matter what I’m doing at the barn 

Just being able to hear and smell them is enough for me 

I think it’s almost impossible for me to be mad while at the barn 

[nat-k-blog1]

9:00pm June 28th, 2015

I cause you so much pain 

Why do you put up with me? 

You say it’s worth it but is it really?

I don’t think it is

I don’t think I am 

I’m not worth putting you through all this pain 

You’re quit things because I didn’t like them 

I don’t understand 

You say it’s nothing and that I’m worth it 

But then I hear your voice and it breaks my heart 

You sound so... lost?

Maybe lost isn’t the right word but I don’t know what would be 

[nat-k-blog1]

11:25am June 26th, 2015

New pain old emotions 

I hate this 

I want to stop feeling 

Why do I do this?

Why do I dig up old feelings

It doesn’t do me any good

It just makes me hurt again

Makes me want to hurt myself again 

[nat-k-blog1]

9:03pm June 24th, 2015

That didn’t take to long 

You asked me out and now we’re broken up 

You hate the person you’re becoming and I’m bringing out that person 

I wish we had never dated for your sake 

If we hadn’t met you wouldn’t be going through this 

You blame yourself for everything but it’s not your fault 

Why can’t you see that?

I was right when I said we need to stay away from each other 

But I was even more right when I said I was bad for you 

Today just proved that 

So stay away from me or I’ll make you 

[nat-k-blog1]

6:13pm June 24th, 2015

I was going to say I love you 

But then you started going to far 

I said no but you kept trying 

Saying and doing things you thought would make me want to do it

“I miss you sooooo much”

Then you would kiss my neck and bite my ear knowing it would turn me on 

It just makes me sick 

How could the guy I’m dating try and make me do something we both know we shouldn’t?

I couldn’t look at you 

I wouldn’t open my eyes 

I felt like I was going to cry 

I told you we would regret it 

I teased you a bit and then regretted it 

After a bit you understood and stopped 

I felt so bad 

I said I was sorry 

On the way home I was so afraid you were mad 

I couldn’t look at you

But then you held my hand 

I don’t know what to feel 

[nat-k-blog1]

June 21st, 2015

We’re taking a break 

I thought it would be simple

After two months we would get back together 

But something clicked today 

And I decided

If you want me 

You can come get me 

I’m done 

I opened up to you so much more then any other and now... 

I don’t know what to do 

[nat-k-blog1]

June 16th, 2015

I can’t believe I fell for someone this hard again 

My first and sixth 

Doesn’t seem to make much sense 

Maybe it’s because I did new things with the both of you 

While with the others it was the same old thing 

Maybe I’m just feeling the new found lost of six and once it’s past in a week or two I’ll be fine 

But it doesn’t feel that way 

It feels to raw 

[nat-k-blog1]

June 16th, 2015

I didn’t think it would hurt this much 

I thought I didn’t like you that much 

That I was just lonely and was looking for someone to call my own 

But yesterday we decided to take a break 

It was a good idea because we were both getting into dangerous territory 

I was fine with it 

But today I realized how much I miss you 

There were signs this was going to happen  

You would say one thing but then do another 

You asked for your hoodie back 

How long were you going to keep acting like you still wanted this?

I was the one who had to bring it up 

I didn’t realize how much I fell for you 

The 23rd is going to be hard 

You said you still want to talk and for things to not get weird 

But I know if I text you it will just make it worse the pain of letting you go 

You said after you solve everything out with your family we can get back together 

But I’m not sure if I believe you   

[nat-k-blog1]

June 16th, 2015

I hurt you so bad that I don’t want to talk to you 

I’m a poison 

I need to stay away from you 

Your bracelet reminds me of your kindness 

How was I so cruel to you?

How did I play these games with you?

You say you’ll want me back one day but I won’t go back 

I won’t hurt you anymore 

You deserve so much better then me 

Someone who won’t temp you 

Someone who will love you more then me 

I miss you yes 

But I know it’s better to stay away