#sadpoem

[lizziejlovesu]

Silence in a Goodbye (A Poem by Me)

Who would stay at my grave the longest,

When the world’s moved on and time has passed

Who’d hold tight to the memories,

Even when they’ve been unmasked?

Would it be the ones who heard the strain

Behind every laugh laid bear?

Or the ones who stayed in silence

Because they took the time to care?

What about those who sensed the distance

Even with my feet on the ground?

Or the ones who could truly tell

My head was in the clouds?

Perhaps it’s the ones who picked up pieces

Of my soul I’d left behind.

I didn’t know I needed them,

But the stars they were aligned.

In the silence of being gone,

When all is said and all is done,

Who would hold the longest vigil,

For the life they knew was gone?

[sad-girl-1995]

Sigo enamorada de ti, aunque el tú del que estoy enamorada, ya no exista.

[natdpoetry]

I promised two people to post the whole thing so here it is:

My father taught me that love should hurt

But now that he is ashes

Dirt turned to dirt

Will I be able to redefine that heavy word?

My mother, on the other hand never liked my size

So I ate less, tried to slope my shoulders

Yet still my very sight she would despise

I was the insect for which she’d never find a fitting pesticide

I believed myself to be a nuisance

An uninvited guest that barged into her home

And every time I bathed, I imagined myself dissolving into the bubbly foam

Then slipping into the drain

So at least I’d have a fitting burial for what may remain

I was nothing but a splinter in her eye

Yet a tree in my own

And each branch I’d reach out to her

She’d cut down and burn in order to warm her home

And years later I understand that you did it because you were alone

I extracted your sorrow and made it mine

And now I sometimes drown at the smell of wine

Because when I look into it’s thick red colour

Your glassy eyes stare back at me

And suddenly I am 15 and begging for you to see me

I think it made me become the ghost that haunted you

Like a poltergeist I’d push over trinkets and shut doors forcefully

Because when I’d look at my hands I’d see the ugly carpet underneath them and the thought of fading scared me

I needed you to be the receiver of the sound I made when I fell

Bear witness to my presence

And now that I am at peace, every few weeks you start a seance and summon me

I do not wear a collar, I am not on a leash

Yet I will never be free from the creative ways in which you rob me of my dignity.

You may reach out with your hands

But all I see is claws

You say that there must be more than just petals on a rose

I say that you only have one and need to grow the other

In your mind all friends turn to foes

When I see your name on my phone my stomach turns

And when I look back on my adolescence and my childhood

The memory still burns

So don’t blame me

for wishing for an urn when I turned seventeen

Because my body felt heavy

and you ripped down each wall

on which I tried to lean

Yet I held on to prevent her sorrow

I held on to the word tomorrow

And though it was for her that in those

moments I chose to breathe

My lungs shrivelled at the prospect of no relief

Her foot on my chest, my words no time to rest

To her I was like a chewed up child’s teddy bear

I was her comfort, like a sponge I’d soak up her

tears just to rain them out myself

So how come she left me no room for air

Yet claimed that it was I who suffocated her

My sister was my last hope

After all, my family had run out of rope

I thought she’d pull me back into the boat

But on a cold night she took our last warm coat

Her words pulled at my hair

I checked for monsters in her closet

and was appalled to find a mirror

Left with a gaping wound named childhood

My questions desperate for answers

Does all love come with an entry fee?

Will there come a time when I bathe in the sea

without stuffing rocks in my pockets?

And after what they have seen,

are my eyes still willing to remain in their sockets?

-ND/ natdpoetry

[theresmusicinyourface]

hi,why'dyouonlycallmewhenyou'rehigh?

you are a loud creature standing on a ledge. i pray every night for your safe return. i text every time i think i've lost you (and i use this as an excuse to talk, because god forbid, we ever have a normal conversation).

hurt pools in my lower belly, just as the liquor in your throat. i feel like roadkill no one bothered to stop for. your tires paint the gravel with my crimson.

i followed you to hell every time you went there. but the walk home is long. it's been months, and i'm still lost.

last December, my lips are chapped. your fingers are sticky with greed. i smell it when you trace my jaw. this feels more familiar than my mother's cruelty. i was a lamb birthed to get slaughtered. my body pulsed for this very moment.

you are silent this year. the summer felt like we finally buried something that was long dead. i cannot hold you back from digging your grave anymore. you were ruined before i even touched you. i cannot imagine the thoughts you don't say out loud. you sway with the wind. you tip your head a little too far and i hope you don't fall.

(i like to think you'd set fire to yourself just to see if i'd come running to extinguish whatever the f you've been doing in the dark).

you will hurt me and i will hurt you and we both knew (i like to think you remember my voice and the words i never said) but we didn't know how soon. or how, as a matter of fact. i know now.

[additti]

Aftermath

You saved my life

The day you first said my name

Voice laced with distaste

But it healed me anyway

I always knew

My name belonged on your lips

And those lips belonged on mine

Our robes swirled

A tapestry, scarlet and emerald

As I pinned you against the wall

But you didn't stay

Now the world knows your name

While mine lies in tatters

I wait for you to save me again

I need you

To say my name

[poetry-universes]

Why an introvert?

I wore truth in my eyes,

Wrapped in my words,

in tales of pleasures and pain,

But you could never see it,

Or cared to listen, and told

To talk about it later,again.

So next time I walked in slow,

To let you know how I felt,

Through what all I'm going,

How things are messed up,

and how I dealt.

But you were too busy with your story,

And barely had time to listen,

So I started to hide my pleasure,

Sorrow, scars all under my skin.

I made silence my language,

And never really told people

What I'm going through,

Now you wonder why you

hear less from me,

About how I've been and things I do.

But I was compelled to build walls around,

When I could find no one to confide,

And now I'm afraid to break these down,

Even though I'm suffocating inside.

[writing-from-the-closet]

END : Distance over You&Me

Hi, how are you?   Let’s stay on the call for a few hours or two.   I’ve been missing you   All day long.   Let’s stay on the call   For a few more songs. I can’t. I love you,   But you can’t be on my neck.   Wasted time, wasted days   On this stupid rectangle box. I have a life to live.   I’ve got some real things to finish.   You have your life online,   But this life of mine…

END : Distance over You&Me

[tales-of-a-broken-mask]

Brief Immortality

A time-lost wanderer stuck on aspirations

Of knowing that this moment is brief.

A few familiar faces linger around,

As time remains constant for them

While my moments here are brief.

The curse of immortality makes the years into seconds,

A small blip of existence that gets forgotten.

They’ll be gone when time marches on,

And why should I get attached to someone so fleeting?

I’ll remain longer than them when the clock strikes midnight.

A body turns to ash then earth,

I stand near their graves in silence.

Unable to cherish something so impactful

When they disappear in a cosmic second

And getting attached means more pain when the bells toll. 

Wilted ambitions for cheerful banter,

Faded desire for small talk.

I can’t get the feeling of a connection,

Suppress the butterflies and keep the heart’s pace

So that when the dust settles I won’t grieve their memory.