Looking for love
About a month ago, I decided to create a Tinder account. I was not sure about what I was looking for but I did it anyway. As I was swiping, I realized I cannot look for someone special based on pictures so I focused on the profiles descriptions. I took initiative and started sending messages as soon as I matched with guys. Everything was fine for a while, I talked to some people and met interesting guys.
On Valentine’s Day, I matched with someone that I found really interesting. I think he is the most fascinating man I have met on this app. I wanted to go out with him that day but it was not possible so I went to see him three days later. i was really nervous since that was my first date in a really long time. I was a mess because it was raining but I got to the place and looked for him. He was using glasses and he stood up as I arrived. He is really tall. We talked about so many things as I was drinking my coffee. I was nervous but I was having a very nice time. As we finished the conversation, we decided to see the cats from the place. It was nice to see a lot of cats sleeping and playing with each other. I was not able to touch them as I felt a bit scared of them. My date played with them and was asking different questions to the lady in charge of the cats. I think that was a nice moment.
When it was time to leave, I went to the bathroom and I thought about the situation. So far, it had been a good date but I looked myself in the mirror and I thought I looked not so good. I was expecting that he did not focus on my appearance and today, I am not sure if he likes me physically. We went out, he walked me to the bus stop, said goodbye with a kiss in the cheek and left. As he was leaving, I could see him walking and I felt like he was running away. I felt really bad and I thought about everything that happened in this fast date. I thought that I really liked him because he was not only interesting but also good-looking. At that moment, I recalled him saying he lives at a fancy neighborhood. This in our capitalist, materialistic world can be a drawback in a relationship considering my family is not wealthy and I live in southern Bogotá. So I started asking how a man like him could see me as a possible match. A week has past and I still wonder the same.
In one of our chats, he told me that he is not interested in a relationship or a friendship so that made me feel better in a way, although I cannot deny I like him a lot. We still talk sometimes and he is nice. I hope we can go out some other time and do something fun. Maybe someday we can be friends. I would really like that. I realize I talked about him a lot and probably this is my longest post but I needed to express what I feel about this guy and this situation.
I am talking to someone else, he is not as good-looking as the other guy, but he has talked to me more and he has scheduled a date for next Saturday and possible future dates. He seems nice and smart so I want to hang-out with him and discover if we want the same things. I am not swiping anymore as I want to see what happens with these men.
As I am writing this, I do not know what I am looking for. I have analyzed my love life and it has not been as good as I would have wanted. I am not really sure about wanting a boyfriend because they require time, money, explanations and other stuff. On the other hand, I want to feel loved again; I want to be important for someone. For now, I am going to let things happen and see what goes next. I hope whatever it is, it would be something good for me.