Nathaniel Sharpe

Currently in Hiding Drug Dealer || 46 || Single || Bisexual || Mute "Your big brother never tells you but he loves you so. You're only happy when your sorry head is filled with dope. Everything is blue, his pills, his hands, his jeans..."

[nathaniel--sharpe]

Addressed to: [ @the-younger-lane​ ]

Postmarked: 1st of November 2020

Signed: No signature.

I miss your face! 

[nathaniel--sharpe]

[ @the-younger-lane ]

Postmark: August 31st 2020

Penny, 

If you are getting this, something has probably happened. I finally remembered or someone decided to eliminate the problem before it became one. Now that the end has come, I guess I can admit it. I remembered. I have remembered for a month or so, but I was too afraid to admit it. I knew this would be the outcome. It doesn’t matter now though. It’s over. 

Enough about that though, I wanted to talk about you. I love you, Penny Lane. You are the best friend I ever could have imagined having. You loved me when no one else did, and you even learned sign language for me. I was extremely lucky to have you in my life. I hope you aren’t sad for too long. I hope Verity takes really fucking good care of you. Tell her if she doesn’t, I will haunt her. 

Listen... I am not sure I believe in a higher power. I want to say I do, but that is mostly because I don’t want to just not exist. I can’t live in a void. I would lose my mind. I hope to think one day our paths will cross again. Two hearts entwined forever. 

Smile, beautiful. I love you and it is a new day. 

[nathaniel--sharpe]

Angels On The Moon || Closed

Don’t tell me if I’m dying,  cause I don’t wanna know. If I can’t see the sun;  maybe I should go. Don’t wake me cause I’m dreaming... of angels on the moon.  Where everyone you know,  never leaves too soon.

‘I think I might know who is responsible for my near death...’ Nathaniel mouthed the words as he leaned across the table. Gregory shifted in his chair and leaned forward. “I need you to tell me who it was. I can make sure whoever did it gets put away. I can put in an anonymous suggestion. You need never be in danger again.” Nathaniel frowned deeply and cleared his throat. He wrapped his hand around the coffee cup that sat beside him. His fingers were shaking a bit. ‘I can’t. If they find out I remember... and if I am wrong.’ There was just way to much at stake. If he was wrong and put the wrong person in prison, or if the person who did it suspected that he knew. Perhaps he should have died in that coffin. He had this horrible feeling that his time was just ticking away. He wasn’t going to make it. ‘--maybe I should just go away for a while.’ 

Gregory had seemed very hesitant as he suggested allowing Nathaniel to come stay with him for a bit, keeping safe in numbers but Nate could tell that his older brother wasn’t going to risk his safety even if he didn’t totally admire him, he still loved him inside. They parted so that Nate could go back a bag. It was getting late and while he was jumpy he was sure he was just overly paranoid. He approached the back door and reached into his pocket to pull out his keys when he heard someone speak behind him. He turned around and his chest tightened. There was a small flash of a memory. He remembered seeing that face in the dark before. ‘I’m sorry, mate; do I know you?’ He used sign language, hoping that he could act normal and calm but he was terrified. 

His hand reached back for the doorknob and he tried to move fast. A hand wrapped around his around the doorknob and he slammed the door on his wrist. He leaned forward, parting his lips to let out a cry but not a sound came out. The door was shoved open and his back slammed into the wall. His eyes widened. A sharp pain split between his ribs and he gasped out. He couldn’t yell. No one knew he was back here. No one would find him in time. If he were ever asked how he would die, he probably would have told anyone that he expected to die of a drug overdose. He never planned for this. No one ever plans this. 

“Nate! Nate, no; god no!” Greg’s voice felt a million miles away. He tried to laugh and shook his head. ‘Don’t tell me...’

[fallon-frazier]

nathaniel–sharpe​:

He shrugged. ‘He thought I killed his wife. I expected some strain, lots of it.’

Fallon raised her brow slightly at him. “I guess you don’t remember if you killed his wife?”

[nathaniel--sharpe]

‘I am fairly sure I didn’t kill her. But it was in a way confirmed when I suddenly buried myself alive...’ Nate said with a small grin. It wasn’t funny but if he didn’t laugh it was too terrifying to live with.

[fallon-frazier]

nathaniel–sharpe​:

Nathaniel gave a small nod. “That might be true. It definitely saved a very strained and bitter relationship with my brother.” 

Fallon nodded. “He was at the hospital a lot.  It didn’t look like there was much of a strained relationship between you.”

[nathaniel--sharpe]

He shrugged. ‘He thought I killed his wife. I expected some strain, lots of it.’

[nathaniel--sharpe]

fallon-frazier​:

Fallon gave him a small smile when he put his hand on hers. “I don’t think that’s true. If anything not knowing who you were showed more of your true self.  You weren’t able to put on any kind of act.”

Nathaniel gave a small nod. “That might be true. It definitely saved a very strained and bitter relationship with my brother.” 

[nathaniel--sharpe]

fallon-frazier​:

Fallon looked down, fidgeting with her fingers in her lap.  She felt like trauma defined her whole life.  First everything that had happened with Alec and her sister, then her ex boyfriend abusing her, now this.  She looked at him sadly and nodded. “Well, I just remember being in awe of how strong you were.”

He reached out to put his hand on hers. He gave a small smile and shook his head. ‘That’s because I couldn’t remember it. If I remembered more of it, I might not be so tough.’

[nathaniel--sharpe]

fallon-frazier​:

Fallon sighed softly. “I don’t really know what to say because I feel like people would say it’s okay. But it wasn’t okay, so I don’t know. I guess I’ll just say thank you?”   She didn’t want to mention that her sister had died being one of -A’s pawns, not when she knew how scared he was already.  “I don’t know why that was my first thought to share.  I’m sorry.”

He shook his head slightly. ‘Don’t be sorry. Sometimes trauma is what makes you if it doesn’t break you. You know me based on one of my worst moments in the world.’

[nathaniel--sharpe]

fallon-frazier​:

Fallon looked at him, wishing she could help with his pain.  It was one of the worst parts of being a nurse, seeing people in pain when you couldn’t do anything for them.  Maybe she should try to take some painkillers from work for him.  “Me? I’m awfully boring. I promise.” She laughed softly before chewing her lip.  “I moved to Baberton with my family years ago. My sister she was…killed…recently.” She admitted.

Nathaniel couldn’t help but smile at the mention of being awfully boring. He imagined that he understood this. He was pretty boring himself, or at least the new him was terribly boring. Right? He frowned and shifted in his seat. ‘I am so sorry.’

[theabigailtate]

nathaniel–sharpe​:

Nathaniel had come inside and taken a place at the bar. He had taken a napkin and wrote down what he wanted before beginning to simply doodle on the napkin. He was in no giant hurry. He felt a little extra nervous today and was definitely hoping that a little liquor would sooth that need to look over his shoulder. When she spoke, he nearly jumped as he looked up. He smiled though and shook his head, tossing his hand slightly, in a way of telling her there was no rush. He then pushed the napkin forward. May I have a gin and tonic, please?

Abi offered him a smile. At least he didn’t seem too upset, some people would get irritated. She watched him as he slid the napkin over and she nodded. “One gin and tonic, coming right up.” She smiled again, turning to fix him up his drink. “Waiting on anyone tonight?” She wondered, just making the normal conversation.

[nathaniel--sharpe]

He smiled softly at her and took a deep breath. He wasn’t in a rush and even if he was, he had a feeling that he understood the need to hide in the back for a minute. He couldn’t remember being a bartender, but subconsciously he remembered. He shook his head, but instinctively looked behind himself. A little fear of being followed. ‘Nah, all alone.’ He mouthed.

[the-younger-lane]

nathaniel–sharpe​:

Nate: yeah, probably not.

Nate: definitely didn’t plan on being buried alive.

Nate: god… i hope i didn’t plan on that.

Penny: I don’t think you are that kinky.

Penny: Don’t worry.

[nathaniel--sharpe]

Nate: Don’t worry. Ha.

Nate: I’m hungry...

Nate: wanna get a burger?

[fallon-frazier]

nathaniel–sharpe​:

Nathaniel couldn’t help but smile softly. Could he really do that? Not worry about who he used to be and just continue being whoever he was now? In a way maybe that would help with his stress over the situation. He wouldn’t be striving to be what everyone expected. ‘I might have to try that. Just be me… because the old me seems so foreign.’ He sat back slightly and crossed his over his arms. ‘I see him in a couple days and thought I might bring it up then.’ 

Fallon liked his smile and she nodded, looking over at him.  “I think you should try it. If things start to come back, that’s great, if not than you’ll still be moving on with your life.” She said softly. She furrowed her brow slightly. “Good, you should and hopefully they’ll take another CT scan just to check on everything.”

[nathaniel--sharpe]

He cringed slightly at the idea. A CT scan didn’t sound like the best idea, but he would do it if they thought it was necessary. If he just closed his eyes and took slow breaths, surely it would be okay. ‘Enough about me. Tell me about yourself.’

[theabigailtate]

“Oh, sorry!” Abi hadn’t realised anybody was waiting. She’d been hiding out in the back room of the King’s Head during a lull in customers after a mild panic attack. “I didn’t hear anybody come in.” She continued, moving up to stand in front of them at the bar. “What can I get for you?”

[nathaniel--sharpe]

Nathaniel had come inside and taken a place at the bar. He had taken a napkin and wrote down what he wanted before beginning to simply doodle on the napkin. He was in no giant hurry. He felt a little extra nervous today and was definitely hoping that a little liquor would sooth that need to look over his shoulder. When she spoke, he nearly jumped as he looked up. He smiled though and shook his head, tossing his hand slightly, in a way of telling her there was no rush. He then pushed the napkin forward. May I have a gin and tonic, please?

[nathaniel--sharpe]

the-younger-lane​:

Penny: I don’t think going into it is something you actually plan on doing.

Nate: yeah, probably not.

Nate: definitely didn’t plan on being buried alive.

Nate: god... i hope i didn’t plan on that.

[nathaniel--sharpe]

fallon-frazier​:

Fallon looked at him. “You know, I wouldn’t worry too much about what you used to be like and if you are different now. People change all the time and trauma can affect you.” She knew her ex boyfriend had certainly changed her and she felt like a different person now after Angel’s death.  She nodded at his comment about the over the counter stuff. “Well, I can add it to your chart and talk to a doctor if you think you might need something stronger.”

Nathaniel couldn’t help but smile softly. Could he really do that? Not worry about who he used to be and just continue being whoever he was now? In a way maybe that would help with his stress over the situation. He wouldn’t be striving to be what everyone expected. ‘I might have to try that. Just be me... because the old me seems so foreign.’ He sat back slightly and crossed his over his arms. ‘I see him in a couple days and thought I might bring it up then.’ 

[nathaniel--sharpe]

the-younger-lane​:

Penny: It sounds like even when you start to remember, you might have to pretend you don’t.

Penny: I don’t know what I would do if they put you in witness protection and I lost you.

Nate: yeah. I can’t remember. It is too dangerous. 

Nate: I have no plans on going into witness protection.

[nathaniel--sharpe]

fallon-frazier​:

“So are you saying you that because you’re a giant flirt, I shouldn’t feel that special about you wanting to flirt with me?” Fallon teased, though she knew it was probably the truth. It wasn’t like she was anything special.  She kept her hand on his temple a bit longer, before lowering her fingers. “Did they prescribe anything for them?”

Nate smiled and shook his head. ‘No, I don’t think that to be true. However, I don’t honestly know myself very well.’ He shrugged his shoulders. That was the worst thing about it all. He couldn’t remember what he had been like before. He had an inkling, but he was in a way trying to avoid certain memories. There were things he didn’t want to remember. If he remembered, how much danger would he be in? ‘No, they told me just to take some over the counter stuff...’