Hey,

Update available. Restart now. (Black, 31yrs still baby tho, Pan)

[sandandglass]

[vetmedirl]

God bless nurses forever

[dynamite5ftjewishbitch]

[ruby-cloud]

   doing some embroidery ⚝

[thunderbottle]

they should let me design tshirts

[thunderbottle]

i really struck a chord here didnt i

[colemckenzies]

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

[ggiornojo]

as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

[colemckenzies]

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

[animatedamerican]

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

[nentuaby]

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

[animatedamerican]

… huh.  I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.

I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.

[thepioden]

Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.

“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Something is

Something is wrong with our language

[rooksandravens]

Is it a glitch or a feature?

[cranberrybogmummy]

Feature

[s-peak-in-tongue-s]

this neat feature is called collocative substitution, and it occurs when certain words are strongly linked to certain context and/or phrases. when you read/hear a pair of words that usually wouldn’t go together, your brain fills in the context with what would normally be inferred, given the originally phrased pairing. thus, finding out that there’s a term for this phenomenon may indeed leave you utterly sandwiched. lesser known or less strongly linked phrases and pairings may not be able to translate substituted words to appropriately fit the inferred context, so you were not utterly floorboarded at the club last night, but rather you were absolutely floorboarded, and as this explanation continues to drag on, you may by the end of it find yourself completely coathangered from read it all.

[lizawithazed]

I, like all linguists I have met or even heard of, have a deep intricate love-hate relationship with the English Language because of complete and total coathangering like this

[official-linguistics-post]

official linguistics post

[killbilled]

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 1-3 dir. James Gunn

[beanofthequeens]

Jet from atla is so funny bc like, he's fighting zuko and taunting him being like "bet you wanna use some fire instead of those swords, dont u fireboy" which is a funny thing to say to a guy who is clearly very eager to fight using swords

[nathotshastroganoff]

its so annoying that this account is shadowbanned. I'm gonna be using my other dumb blog (ShardInspector) for a while maybe

[shardinspector]

testing

[nathotshastroganoff]

hello doppleclone.

[phantomrose96]

I'm convinced it was a tragedy that tumblr learned the phrase "bury your gays" at the exact same time it decided that any fictional media darker than Landlord White was pearl-clutchingly problematic. Pouring one out for every creator of earnest LGBT+ media wanting to explore the themes of grief loss and tragedy who then got subsequently hounded by mobs of terminally online users brainrotted on nothing but conflict-free coffee shop AUs.

[sunshine-tattoo]

What Bury Your Gays actually is: queer characters brought in and killed only for shock value and to further the journey of the straight protagonist

What Bury Your Gays is NOT: any story with a queer death

[byjove]

“Why do Americans celebrate St. Patrick’s Day like that?” “Why do Americans celebrate Cinco de Mayo like that, we don’t even celebrate it in Mexico?” IT IS AN EXCUSE TO GET DRUNK AND EAT FOOD. Every popular American holiday is an excuse to get drunk and eat food. Labor Day. Veterans Day. Memorial Day. Halloween. Valentines Day. Fuck it, Leif Erikson Day. My family celebrates Guy Fawkes Day, for some reason.

[byjove]

Ask American friend if they want to celebrate a culturally specific holiday that involves drinking and eating and they will say FUCK YEAH.

[chempathetic-fallacy]

The Descendants of Puritans construct elaborate rutuals that allow them to touch the "enjoying life" of other cultures.

[carrionkid]

would you like a nice glass of

[pastel-pinku]

[lets-jam-deactivated20240101]

[xenasaur]

seeing strange fetishes im not into on my dash is like observing an edible herb on a walk. Hmm. someone wise ☝ could make use of this... but i shan't 👴

you paint such a beautiful picture with your words anon thank you

[thememedaddy]

[detailspecialist]

Tramell Tillman in

SEVERANCE 2.10 " Cold Harbor"

[lloerwyn-deactivated20201104]

Every word that starts with an N should have a silent G in front. Gnorway. Gnuclear. Gnervous system. Gnipples.

[esoanem]

At some point my brain decided based on the word knee that body parts beginning with a n sound should have a silent k (particularly the word neck) so I am against gnipples wholeheartedly, it should clearly be knipples!

[lloerwyn-deactivated20201104]

How about a compromise? Gn words and kn words get switched. So now it’s gneecaps and gnowledge, but it’s also knome and Knosticism.

[lunamargarita]

the problem with this is that it doesn’t account for the original dilemma, which was gnipples vs. knipples 

I, for one, think it should be pnipples, like pneumonia 

[lloerwyn-deactivated20201104]

Okay, but what about mnipples, like ‘mnemonic’?

[thatwheezingsoundthetardismakes]

Gkpmnipples (pronounced “nipples”)

[anasandorpygoscelis-deactivated]

This is the kind of content I remain for. (and y'all provide on the regular, I love you)

[definitelynotclayface]

Female presenting gkpmnipples

[evilkitten3]

what the fuck are you people doing, trying to invent neo-french?

[astrophysicist-not-princess]

No, we’re inventing Gkpmneo-French

[nuclear-mech-wizard-deactivated]

don’t try and read this phonetically you’ll have a stroke

[romcommunist]

lukewarm take but i personally do not give a shit if poor people cheat a system that was designed to fail them anyways. i also coincidentally do not enjoy the taste of boot rubber

[shirecorn]

the fear I felt with the blurred pink mass in my inbox under the harried confession of mistakes