The strategy of the coquette is never to offer total satisfaction
The ability to delay satisfaction is the ultimate art of Seduction.
Coquettes are the grand masters of this game, orchestrating a back-and-forth movement between hope and frustration.
They bait with the promise of reward - the hope of physical pleasure, which however proves elusive. Yet his only makes their targets pursue them more
People are inherently perverse. An easy conquest has a lower value than a difficult one.
We are only really excited by what is denied us, by what we cannot possess in full.
As a coquette, your greatest power in seduction is your ability to turn away, to make others come after you, delaying their satisfaction.
Most people miscalculate and surrender too soon, worried that the other person will loose interest or that giving the other what he or she wants will grant the giver a kind of power.
The opposite is the truth. Once you satisfy someone, you no longer have the initiative.
A man actually loves to be able to prove himself, to be challenged, to compete, to undergo tests and trials and emerge victorious.
He has a masochistic steak, a part of him loves pain.
The more a woman asks for, the worthier she seems.
If you are easily had, you cannot be worth that much.
Make people compete for your attention, make them prove themselves in some way and you will find them rising to the challenge.
Coquettes seem totally self-sufficient. They do not need you, they seem to say.
Their narcissism proves devilishly attractive
„Narcissistic women have the greatest fascination for men. The charm of a child lies to a great extent in his narcissism and inaccessibility, just as does the charm of certain animals which seem not to concern themselves about us, such as cats….It is as if we envied them their power of retaining a blissful stat of mind - an unassailable libido-position which we ourselves have since abandoned.“ - Sigmund Freud
The narcissistic woman is not emotionally needy. She is self sufficient.
The less you seem to need other people, the more people want you.
Coquettes are never jealous - that would undermine their image of fundamental self-sufficiency.
But they are masters at inciting jealousy by paying attention to a third party, creating a triangle of desire, they signal to their victims that they may not be that interested.
This triangulation is extremely seductive, in social contexts as well as erotic ones.
Obviously flirting will reveal your intentions too clearly. Better to be ambiguous and even contradictory
The more obviously you pursue a person the more likely you are to chase them away.
Coquettes have an inherent understanding of this particular dynamic. Masters of select withdrawal, they hint at coldness, absenting themselves at times to keep their victim off balance, surprised, intrigued.
Vanity is critical in love. Make your targets afraid that you may be withdrawing or lost interest and you arouse their innate insecurity.
Then, once you have made them uncertain of you and of themselves, reignite their hope. making them feel desired again.
Never be put off by your target’s anger. It is a sure sign of enslavement.
Coquetry depends on developing a pattern to keep the other person off balance. The strategy is extremely effective. Experiencing a pleasure once, we yearn to repeat it.
Their withdrawals make them mysterious and we build them up in our imaginations.
Their coolness suggests a comfortable confidence that is exciting to be around, even though it may not actually exist.
Seduction is a process of drawing people in, making them want to pursue and process you.
The Coquette is addictive. Seem distant and people will go mad to win your favor.
The cold coquette can stimulate a particularly deep hatred because she plays with volatile emotions
Every time the pendulum swings, love shifts to hate, so they must orchestrate everything carefully.
Their absence cannot be too long, their bouts of anger must be quickly followed by smiles.
They must realize the limits of the game and the disturbing effects they can have on less stable people.
Source: The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene
Next Part: The Ideal Lover
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