One thing I’ve had to accept in a long term/long distance relationship is that it will get bland. Every day, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year, Alex and I are living our own lives when we’re apart. When we do talk it’s always through FaceTime or texting, this is our normal.
I don’t question where he goes or who he’s with, most nights I fall asleep before getting a chance to say goodnight. We bicker and swear over money. Our future. Jobs. Kids. Parents. Politics. Cars. Bills.
It is a commitment and I’d be lying if I said it was easy.
But then, little things will happen.
One random day, he will randomly call me and just make me laugh for hours. He’ll tell me about places he wants to go and new foods he wants to try.
When he’s home we’ll drive around for hours. Sitting at parks. Talking. Just like we did five years ago.
We’ll go for late night sonic trips, late night wawa runs. If either of us ask, “you hungry?” The answer is always “yes.”
We’ll talk about what his heavens will look like. Stories we tried to write. Songs you we to sing. He’ll tell me about his fears and I’ll tell him about my insecurities.
And amongst all of these adventures, I remember why I love him. Why I have stayed with Alex for years and years, never leaving, even when things got difficult and scary.
I remember that these stories are what keep me going and that life is life- and sometimes life is bland.
Its no ones fault, sometimes these things just happen.
So here’s something I learned within the past couple of months and through the help of some very insightful people: don’t convince yourself that you have fallen “out of love” because your life is repetitive.
Your weeks will be the same. Your afternoons will be the same. You will, in fact, get so used to each other that you don’t have to ask where they’re going when they leave the room- you will know they’re going to read a book on the front porch or pet the cat in your bedroom.
And yes, you will fight. You will scream at each other and cry until your face hurts.
But, yes, you will also adventure. Dream. Create. Talk. Love.
You will fall in love with him again and again. Sometimes you won’t need an adventure. You will sit beside him on the love seat as he watches Bob’s Burgers and you will notice how long his eye lashes are. Or how rosy his cheeks are.
How he sits with his arm around you. And even though he does it every single day, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year, it still makes your heart flutter when you actually acknowledge the gesture.
When you sit down and remember your adventures together, you will remember why you love him. Why you stay.
And if you’ve listened to his stories, you will know why he stays, too.
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