Admit it, kid, you know noodles can't be beat!

Indie semi-selective rp blog for Colonel Noodle from PaRappa the Rapper 2.

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(Y’know what I realized when he does the “sushi, burgers, they all taste good” part he he takes the shrimp off the sushi and the bun off the burger and iT’S NOODLES YOU MONSTER WHAT THE HECK OF COURSE YOU’RE UP FOR SOME NOODLE SUSHI THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE LEFT YOU LIL BRAT

also for Parappa’s part I think he actually tries to take the noodles off of the pizza and out of the burritos just so he can say “see you little noodle monster u don’t have to be nasty to enjoy food”)

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(LEAVE IT TO... SMUG COLONEL NOODLE)

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(school: hey u know what’d be fun me: what school: making u only give attention to me :D)

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(*starts giving everyone a pkmn verse* w h o o p s)

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(cONFETTI HERE, CONFETTI THERE, CONFETTI IN MY CHAIR, CONFETTI IN MY HAIR)

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buggyguru:

Again, the calm in the young boy’s voice surprised him. Not many took too kindly to bugs such as himself, especially in restaurants. But, maybe this boy had realized that he was no ordinary bug.

“Thanks, lil man, but I made the mess. Won’t be too hard to clean up, either.”

With a soft smile on his face, Guru stepped towards the empty sugar packets, picking two up in all four arms. His eyes then looked back up at the boy after a moment, keeping his friendly gaze.

“If you could point me to the trash, though…”

The boy was a little surprised, but at least someone was finally cleaning up their own messes in the restaurant. He had to look around the kitchen for a moment, trying to remember where a trashcan was.

“Hmm, just a moment...”

He then remembered, there was a smallish one behind the counter. The boy went over, grabbed it, and brought it back to the ant.

“There ya go! And thanks, by the way. It’s not every day I get someone actually willing to clean their own messes.”

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buggyguru:

To say Guru was surprised would have been an understatement.

His head snapping up to look at the boy, he was quick to wipe away the remaining granules of sugar from his face. As if someone had just caught him…until he noticed the weirdly calm tone in the voice of the boy. He wasn’t used to being addressed, not by something so much bigger than him.

“…I’ll clean that up.”

As he thought, the ant was sentient. Well, at least there was one other person in the kitchen who wasn’t totally horrible.

The boy figured it wouldn’t hurt to be nice to him. The more friends he could make, the better. After all, he really only had one friend. With a shrug, he offered to do it himself.

“Ah, well, you don’t gotta, I mean, you’re pretty small, anyways...it’d probably be quicker if I did it.”

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What the farfelle did you just fusilling say about noodles, you little barbina? I’ll have you know I am the leader of the Noodle Syndicate, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Beard Burgers, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in garganelli warfare and I’m the top sniper in PaRappa Town. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the farfallone out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fogleing words. You think you can get away with saying that spiralini to me over the counter? Think again, fideua. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across PaRappa Town and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, mandala. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fedelining dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Noodle Syndicate and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable anelli off the face of the continent, you little ziti. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your filining tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you gemelli idiot. I will sagnarelli fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fettuccing dead, kiddo.

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@buggyguru

While going to pick something up in the restaurant’s kitchen, the boy noticed a bunch of sugar packets on the floor. The other employees had the nerve to call him a baby, when they were the ones that didn’t even clean their own messes?

Annoyed, the boy leaned over to pick the packets up, but before he got a grasp on a single one, he saw a little insect. An ant. However, it seemed sentient, much like basically everything else in the town.

“Hey, uh...sir?”

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micro-masta:

   “No thanks necessary my fine, afro’d friend. We all have bad days, but the things we do in anger do not make up our personality as a whole.”

He smiles down at the kid, arms crossing. Guru wasn’t one to let first impressions ruin things, especially not his first burger. Plus, he worried this kid might be being watched - maybe a security camera or something, waiting for him to mess up to fire him for losing a potential customer. Being the saint that he was, the lord, he couldn’t cost this kid his job!

“Oh? Well, what would you recommend I get? I’ve probably got enough for another meal…” He was sure Parappa wouldn’t mind him borrowing his allowance this week - it was a special occasion after all.

What could he recommend? The boy really didn’t like burgers, so it’d be hard for him to recommend anything to the ant. But he knew his dad would like it if he could get this customer to buy something else...so, he had to make some kind of attempt. Maybe he’d admit that he couldn’t really recommend anything, but twist it just a little.

“Well, what you got would probably be what I’d recommend, but I dunno! I mean, from what I hear, everything here is good! It’s hard for me to recommend anything specific, man...”

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my name is Noodle, and wen its day, or wen the sun is brite and gay, and all the foods haf turned into noodles- i look around. i enjoy it oodles.

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parcppa:

   “Well, I guess you’re ri–”

 I mean, he would’ve agreed with ‘not really good for you’ part, he should’ve taken that into note when he just ate a bunch for months at a time, but he awkwardly scooted away from the other when he sat back down. Well, this was gonna be a stressful night, for sure. He just kinda wanted to go to bed, but then again, he didn’t want to leave this kid alone.

   “Whoa man, calm down…”

 He stared at his glasses for a moment. Should he just… Swipe them? He was now 100% sure that the glasses were the cause of the problem, the other just didn’t want to admit it. He didn’t know why or how, but he felt like he had to do something–

      “…Dude, don’t look now, but there’s something on the window–”

 He quickly pointed at the window, before his hand made an attempt to just grab those red glasses of his. He couldn’t deal with this all night, darn it.

Colonel Noodle stopped holding his arm down and looked at the window, putting his hands on the sides of his glasses. He still didn’t trust this dog much, he remembered that his father wanted him to take the glasses away...and there was nothing on the window. It was possible that his ‘friend’ thought he saw something, but Noodle doubted it.

“I don’t see anything, man! Are you crazy or somethin’?”

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dcpeycaptain:

  The enraged captain grit his teeth at the others ‘old man’ remark. Oh, he knew he was old, but he didn’t need some brat telling him that was the case. He glanced around– What was he doing? He rubbed his head and looked up… It was a light that had bonked him this time. He glared at the other, as he was still fuming. If he was actually tall, he would’ve towered over the other in an intimating fashion, but he… Kinda shrunk in his old age.

     “What’s going on here.” He said in a rather stern manner.                   “Give me answers!”

The boy started backing away, seeming really nervous. Why was he so mad? Sure, having a light hit you in the head was pretty dang bad, but...it wasn’t really the boy’s fault, so why was the captain so mad?

“I- I don’t know! A light hit you on the head and you’re really mad, that’s all I know!”

He put the glasses on. Oh, he’d had about enough of this dang burger place uniform! Colonel Noodle took the apron off and threw it towards the counter. He then unbuttoned the shirt and put it on the table behind him, and underneath, he was wearing his leather jacket. That was much better...and then there was this angry old man. He decided not to say anything, not unless he was provoked.

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parcppa:

   Parappa just remained a bystander as he flip flopped. He was surprised at the ‘don’t really want noodles’ statement. Didn’t he like noodles, Colonel or not? He could understand him not really feeling it– Trust him, he knew the feeling. He was about to sit down when the other switched, kinda grossly eating the noodles. He. He gave him a fork for a reason–

    “I-I have an actual name, you know…”

“Uh-huh, yeah, sure, sure, kid...”

Colonel Noodle took his glasses off, then looked at Parappa again. He wiped his face off with his sleeve, sighing.

“Yeah, uh...maybe I really shouldn’t have noodles. I don’t think they’re- uh, well...really good for me...”

The boy started to stand up, wanting to take the noodles back to the kitchen, but he put the glasses back on again, sitting back down. Why did...whatever or whoever that thing was want to stop him from having his noodles?! The Colonel put the cup down, then proceeded to hold down one of his arms.

“Dang it, you! Stop it!”

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dcpeycaptain:

  Fussenpepper remained silent for a little bit, before he got up. But his demeanor was entirely different. He didn’t have that dopey, calm expression anymore, no, he seemed absolutely livid. His eyes made him look like as if he was in a trance, and his face was entirely red. He glared at he other, angrily huffing.

          “What do you think you’re looking at, Colonel?! You will address me as Captain! Do I make myself clear?!

Colonel Noodle jumped back when the captain started yelling. As soon as Fussenpepper finished, though, he narrowed his eyes. He’d just asked if the old man was okay, there was no need to yell!

“I’m not gonna address you as anything other than old man!”

The boy took his glasses off, then looked scared. Why was Fussenpepper so mad? Did he do something wrong? Did the light hitting him really make him that mad?

“H-hey, man, I’m sorry that happened! Y-you don’t gotta yell...”

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dcpeycaptain:

   The Captain paused when the other blinked. What did he just say? Was he too old to even..? He watched as the other took his glasses off. Oh… Oh, he kinda understood what was going on. He had the exact same issue, but… Well, it was caused by something more than putting sunglasses on, but still…

   “It’s okay, k–”

He was suddenly cut off– The light fixture above him suddenly broke and a piece of it bonked his head, nearly causing him to fall out of his chair. He had a shocked expression on his face, as he fell silent.

   “… …”

The boy jumped back when the light fixture fell, then went back to the old man’s side, really worried. Did his father do something? What happened?

“Are- are you alright?”

He took a step back, then put his glasses on. Colonel Noodles looked down at the captain, seeming confused. How in the world did that happen? He was actually almost worried for the other, since he was so old and suddenly on the floor.

“Uh...are you okay?”