@ncityzen - Tumblr Blog

I was able to have a day off from work today (recommended by my supervisor) and still managed to feel like shit I 100% blame the weather

#literally made myself cry all evening just thinking about this damn book #i was trying to do some yoga and my nose was so watery I had to stop because I couldn't breathe during the poses I 😭😭😭#I'm going through a weird time I think and this story really hit me hard for some reason that's what loneliness does to a person I guess #I just realised this makes no sense without the context of the previous tags #weather books keep up with my brain

I was able to have a day off from work today (recommended by my supervisor) and still managed to feel like shit I 100% blame the weather

#I understand rain I can even appreciate it every once in a while #WIND however #it literally gets into my brain and pisses me off I don't know what's wrong with me #I'm too embodied embedded extended enacted in this world it's getting ridiculous let me have my own private mood #I also finished reading 'death in spring' and cried in public from the ending #I see a miserable lonely character who gets a terribly tragic ending and I'm like ah yes fantastic book my new fave

allow me a self-centred post

#you know when people say they really hate hearing their own voice recorded #not me I love that shit I think I sound so cute #I do not recognise it as mine for sure it's a bit weird I agree but I think she sounds good??? like she sounds sweet actually #I'd be friends with her #I never send voice notes because I hate speaking as an action but maybe I should start doing it more

maniatown

Girl whose most frequent mistake is inaction voice: wow I keep making mistakes I better not do anything

shirleyjacksons

i know this will make me sound old and boring but once i’m home for the night i’m home. i don’t like upsetting my plans even when i don’t have any. yes it’s only 8pm but i spent the whole evening believing i’m not going anywhere, i cannot perceive or be perceived right now, try again later

#especially in the winter I've got one (1) going out ticket and if I go back home there's no leaving again

.

#I was hanging out by the river yesterday with my friend and some new people and this one guy started talking to me #first asking me if I'd ever drowned and then saying that he recently saved two people from drowning #but then as he explained it to me it sounded more and more unhinged and more and more like it was actually his fault #that they were drowning in the first place #and he was very serious about it but I highly suspected he was just straight up lying to me 😭😭😭😭#but like I couldn't just be like are you lying rn because he'd created a whole story I dhfjkdfk #he also told me there's a glacier in Switzerland that sounds like my name and that bit is actually true #it proved useful because everyone (including his brother later) gets my name wrong and he corrected him lmaodjfjfh #anyways apparently he started making puns with everything my friend said to him later #I don't know how to respond to this sort of stuff but you know what I respect it

gaysie

t shirt that says I MISS EVERYONE I WAS EVER FLEETINGLY CLOSE TO SO MUCH THAT IT KILLS

thewingedwolf

do you think the catholic church effectively utilized wokeness by funneling money into the colonization and rape of the americas after issuing the doctrine of discovery which effectively legalized the subjugation of indigenous peoples?

#how are they woke you people say such bizarre things pls 😭#coming from a catholic country when I got to the uk and I entered a church there I couldn't believe my eyes #when I saw they had hung a pride flag in there literally unimaginable in the catholic church #just like having women or openly gay pastors you guys I think the Catholics are the least woke of them all actually #(except maybe one of those branches they follow in the us which are so crazy they don't quite compute in my head)

urie

i love being a mutual so much i was made to be a mutual i hope they put on my gravestone that i was a beloved daughter sister ex wife and mutual

#I really miss my peak mutual era you guys are everything

bonne maman fig conserve save my life. Save my life bonne maman fig conserve

#I love her sm #salad with ricotta on bread and fig jam on top hear me out #I'm on the second day of my period I feel ravenous I ate two brownies and a chocolate cake slice yesterday no regrets #it's a shame they don't stock it in my usual tesco I had to walk 50 minutes for this one

threedollarsdotcom

doctor diagnosed me with something while i wasnt listening

#I have to actually mentally prep myself to focus beforehand because this happens otherwise

japanese-plants

Lily of the valley by Kawarazaki Shodo (1899-1973)

#lit/art

(as the youths would say) we are so cooked

#i leave my small town in the middle of nowhere where working class men are getting indoctrinated into the far right #to attend a prestigious university where incredibly posh and privileged men make fun of the 'woke left' and think it's funny to be a twat #there's always this one group of guys in our common room and around where I usually hang out (one of the libraries lmao)#so I see them every day and unfortunately I hear them talk every day #I don't want to #sometimes I'm like maybe I should be more sociable because I never say anything to them #and my friends are never around on their day to day activities so I'm alone most of the time #but then they come up with something like this 🙃😐#I'm glad I don't talk to them actually #they gave me posh tory vibes (and insufferable man vibes) from the very beginning my instincts never ever miss #one of them I think likes me to some extent he's always staring at me but I'm not engaging mate your friends are assholes what do you think

.

#I just unlocked the most random memory #it was from when I was an early teen and my parents sent me to the therapist because you could already tell I wasn't normal lmao #and the therapist was trying to make me talk about my insecurities and reasons why I was 'too shy' and stuff #and I said something like well I hate my nose #and she was like well I didn't really notice it at all at first but now I see what you mean #DHFJKDFKNF #i also said I hated my thighs and she made no comment to that which somehow felt worse #no wonder therapists have never worked for me I think I tried all of the worst people who decided to get a degree in psychology #that and I've always been too self-aware I never learned a single useful thing

help I keep getting manifestation girlies and tarot readers on instagram reels telling me this week is gonna be the best week of your life, tomorrow is gonna be the day with the most positive energy in 100 years, you're gonna meet the love of your life in 3 to 5 business days and all I get is all trains back home CANCELLED i think this wasn't 100% meant for me as advertised

#where is the loml I wonder if they're in this extremely delayed replacement train 🤔🤔#I've only had sugary stuff since lunch and lunch was a salad #I'm gonna get home so late:))))

proustiansleep

"Desire ... merely indicates direction, but never destination; destinations, in any case, always remain phantasmagoric and unclear; the closer we get to them, the more enigmatic they become. By no means is it possible to ever actually attain a given destination, nor, in so doing, appease desire. This process of striving is best encapsulated in the preposition “towards”. Towards what?’

—Olga Tokarczuk, Flights

#I can't say that anything surprises me anymore because we live in a dystopian reality #but I'm so disappointed by her recent declarations on ai :((#I've read drive your plow and the empusium and I loved them both soooooo much (which doesn't always happen to me with contemporary fiction)#anyways currently reading mercè rodoreda's death in spring and it feels like a fever dream in a good way she'd never fail me like this

It's gonna get sunny and warm from tomorrow and girls i cannot WAIT to buy my overpriced iced drinks and sit on the grass with a book!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#absolutely terrible for my bank balance but it's my favourite activity ever #we had such a dreary may and now it's gonna switch up so suddenly I hate climate change :))#I really do need to write my dissertation and that's Also going to be bad news for my productivity but I'm choosing to focus on the good #bubble tea ice cream or maybe one of those extremely inauthentic sweet matcha lattes this is my red flag I fear

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