What’s the hardest part of this job?
It’s pretty thankless, and that can be tough. You’ve seen burnout rates. I’m sure they teach you that in school. All my closest friends left after COVID. Some during. But I don’t blame them. They needed to do what was best for their mental health. A lot of people broke.
Dana trying to get closer, her face so open with concern and fighting the urge to inspect her herself. But she stays back because she knows shes in the best hands. Ugh I love demma
It was well past midnight. Emma's head buzzed slightly with all the wine she’d been drinking.
For the last few months all of the Pitt crew had been crowding into Dana's apartment for poker nights. It had been a tight enough squeeze, but it had become a little routine that everyone began to look forward to.
That was until Robby had decided to place fifty dollars into the ring. Since that first week the wager had only been rising. With Dana being the enabler. She’d thrown another fifty inot the pot. Santos had thrown in twenty, so had Langdon and reluctantly Mel. Whitaker had surpassed all expectations and thrown in a hefty seventy dollars.
“Christ, you tryin’ to go broke, kid?” Dana had laughed, eyeing the young doctor with a look.
Since then, Dana and Robby had taught them all how to play properly. The winner, actually had been none other than Mel. After five weeks of intense battle and best of five challenges, Mel had won over Santos, and Robby. She’d claimed that the game was fun, and easy to get her head around. She’d pocketed her winnings and after much fanfare and far more drink than was advisable, she’d left.
That had been an hour ago. Which begged the question as to why Emma was still hanging around Dana’s apartment.
“Nolan, you know the party’s over?” Dana called from across the room. “What are you waitin’ for?”
Taking another sip of her wine, Emma shuffled back over to the long Island where the poker cards still sat. “How about we play another game, new rules?”
“I told you, everyone’s gone.” Dana shrugged, though the slightest quirk of a smile formed on her lips. “But, maybe I’ve got one more game in me. What are you thinking?”
Sliding her glass away, Emma took the cards in her hands. She was sure to fix Dana with a stare. “Another game. You and me, but since we don’t have cash anymore…”
“We have…?”
Maybe it was the late hour. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the way Dana had been looking at her across the table for weeks that gave her the confidence to speak it.
“Clothes.”
Dana almost choked on her wine. “I’m sorry? What?”
Raising her head, Emma grinned. “What, scared you’re going to lose?”
“No,” Dana countered, though she’d gone very still. “You need me to check you for a fever, too?”
“Oh, um, Dana I’m sorry.” Heat bloomed on Emma’s cheeks. Maybe she’d been wrong. “I’ll just –“
“ – Do you really think this is first time I’ve been asked to play strip poker?” Dana laughed. “If you really want to play, Emma Nolan, you better be prepared to lose.”
Emma whirled. Had she heard that right? Maybe she was too drunk after all. What was she even doing thinking that Dana was interested in her like that? But, here she was, agreeing to play her stupid game. “Oh, I mean - ”
“- Come on, grab the cards.”
So she did. She also swallowed the rest of her wine, and then some more for good measure.
Dana settled in opposite her. One hand fanning her cards. The other pressing a fresh cigarette to her lips. Smoke plumes filling the room “My turn.”
Sliding two cards across the table, Dana picked up a second pair, eyes drifting to inspect her hand. She said nothing and gestured for Emma to take her turn.
Carefully, Emma lifted the edged of the second set of cards. She groaned. Bad hand. Still she met Dana’s eye with confidence. “Show me yours, Evans.”
“Deal.” Dana chuckled as she picked up another set of cards. Then, she cast Emma a wicked grin as she presented the first two. A better hand than Emma had. “What was that about clothes, Nolan? Start with the shirt.”
Emma tried to focus on anything other than Dana’s dark eyes locked on hers. Or the way her cigarette hung lazily from her mouth. Or the way her long, slender fingers clasped around her cards. She averted her eyes and shrugged off her shirt.
She heard Dana’s breath hitch slightly, but she remained quiet until Emma drew the next hand, showing two slightly better cards. “Your turn, shirt too.”
“Fuck,” Dana spat. “Really thought I had this one.”
On and on the evening went. Both women swapping cards for various items of clothing. A pair of socks here, a necklace there. And after several drinks and cards later, Emma found herself practically stark naked on the edge of Dana’s sofa.
“I won,” Dana boasted, her eyes drifting down to the last item of clothing clinging to Emma’s body. Her pants. “Those come off too, sweetheart.”
“I’m sure you cheated.”
Dana raised a disapproving brow. “Sore loser?”
When Emma didn’t answer, Dana’s hands came to rest at the soft flesh of her waist. She was so close now she could smell her breath. Sweet like wine, but thick with the ashy scent of cigarettes.
Fuck, she was crazy. She was stupid. She was drunk.
So was Dana. The evidence clear. Pupils wide, and hands wandering. “Emma, if you’re not comfortable - ”
Before she could finish that thought, Emma pressed her lips to Dana’s, leaning into her touch. At first, she didn’t react, and Emma thought she’d misread the situation. Misread every interaction she’d ever had with the woman. Until she relaxed, and Dana’s hands wrapped themselves into Emma's hair. A groan escaping her as she deepened the kiss. Her lips parting to make way for tongue and teeth.
And then, they were stumbling through Dana’s apartment.
Dana stopping to remove clothing of her own. First her bra, her trousers, her bracelets. That earned a laugh from Emma. She’d only grinned and shut her up with another needy kiss. Bodies pressing up against eachother.
Emma gasped as her back hit cold wall. Dana cupping her hands on Emma’s cheek. As they broke apart, her breaths came heavy. “Christ, I’ve wanted to do that for weeks.”
“Seriously?” Emma asked, feeling the warmth of Dana’s body against her own. “You have?”
“Yes.”
Dana said nothing, but pressed another kiss to Emma’s lips again. Hungrier this time. Needier. She moaned slightly and she pressed her knee against Emma’s still clothed crotch. She gasped at the sudden friction. Feeling something sparked low in her stomach. Digging her hands into Dana’s back, Emma whined and rocked her hips into the movement.
“Fuck,” Dana sighed, hands trailing lower. Until finally they slipped into the waistband of Emma’s pants. “Take these off, honey.”
Her head was spinning, but she didn’t argue. Dana kissed her again. All tongue and so needy. Her hands slipped lower, until they rested at the inner most corner of Emma’s thighs. She could feel her slickness there, already wet from Dana’s knee.
“Dana,” Emma whined, desperately trying to pull her closer. “You won, okay?”
“Yeah, I know.”
And then Dana's fingers pressed against her aching cunt. Tentatively. Gently. Emma gasped and opened her legs slightly. Back still pressed against the wall. Emma could hardly breath. Could hardly think straight as Dana slowly inched her way inside. Painfully slowly.
“Fuck,” She whispered, “You’re so fuckin’ wet.”
“Must be the - ” Whatever thoughts remained left Emma’s head as Dana pressed her fingers further. Deeper this time. Harder. Curling slightly, in a way that had Emma’s breath hitching already.
Dana’s eyes never left her face. Her crooked smirk the hottest thing Emma had ever seen. “Jesus, I should have done this weeks ago.”
Forcing her fingers deeper, Dana began to pump into her with more pressure. Faster and faster until Emma felt her desire pool low in her belly. Legs trembling slightly. She couldn’t stifle the moan that escaped her, which only grew louder as Dana pressed her thumb to Emma’s already swollen clit. “Fuck, Dana!”
Dana chuckled against her, continuing to trace small circles against her throbbing clit. Her fingers stretching her out as Emma's back hit the wall with every thrust. Until Dana pressed a bruising kiss to her lips and began to push harder, deeper.
Emma’s breath hitched, coming short and ragged now as she pressed herself against Dana’s chest. Finally, she snapped. Dana’s fingers bringing her over the edge. Legs trembling, and her body shaking with the weight of her orgasm.
“Good girl,” Dana cooed, still riding her through it. “Good girl, Emma.”
Emma could hardly stand. Her body was exhausted, her cunt still so sensitive and every movement Dana made caused her to whimper and shudder. “Jesus Christ, Dana.” She huffed, “I think you like winning.”
With a sly grin, Dana helped her up, but not before giving Emma another kiss.
“Sure do, Kid.” She laughed. “Same time next week?
- Multi Chapter Fic, Slow burn, eventual smut, word count 6k +
Dana
Hearing those words never got any easier. Such a stupid safe word. It was easy to laugh about it before it became dangerous. Before you were running through the ER with a vial of Versed in your pocket, heart pounding and a new nurse being bound in a violent headlock.
Emma was going to be fine. She’d had no injuries. Physically, at least. The bright eyed woman had looked up at Dana in a way that made her chest tight. Since the moment she’d stepped into the buzzing ER, with that inquisitive but steady look in her eye, Dana had been drawn to her.
Now, standing in the ambulance bay, Dana blew out the smoke of her cigarette. She’d told Robby this would happen. After Doug had near broken her nose. He’d looked at her sideways as if she was crazy. As if she hadn’t experienced enough to know better.
And she’d been right of course. Another nurse had been assaulted by a patient. Another nurse who had to have been Emma Nolan. Emma Nolan who’d only been a few hours into her first shift. Emma Nolan who was probably put off for life. Probably, Dana thought. But, something in her told her that the kid had some fire in her. Maybe she wasn’t out for the count yet.
Smoke break over, she’d headed back upstairs. Loud. Overcrowded and constantly a mess. PTMC was all those things, but Dana she wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Weaving through the nurses and rolling beds, Dana made her way to where McKay was checking on Emma. The smaller woman perched on the bed, McKay leaning over her with her stethoscope.
“Hey kid,” Dana called, tracing her eyes over Emma’s body. Looking for anything McKay might have missed. “How you feeling?”
“I’m alright,”” Emma said, rubbing her neck. “I’m not a quitter.”
McKay nodded, and cast Dana a pointed look. “She’s tougher than she looks. No bruises, no cuts, just like I told you ten minutes ago.”
“Alright,” Dana laughed. “I believe you. Thank you, Doctor.”
Emma’s lips quirked into the smallest of smiles. “Dana, I’m alright. Seriously. I’ve had worse from my older brothers.”
“I bet.”
Emma shook her head, and turned to Cassie. “Am I all good?”
Wrapping her stethoscope around her shoulders, McKay smiled. “All good. You’re free to go.”
“Thanks.”
Cassie stood, and slipped quietly through the glass doors.
“How about we call it a day?” Dana asked, now that McKay was out of earshot.
Emma’s jaw feathered. “My shift isn’t over.”
“It was a shift and a half for anyone.”
“I told you, I’m not a quitter.” Emma said again, eyes blazing. “If it’s alright with you, I’d rather stay.”
“Fine,” Dana huffed, fighting the smile that tugged at her. “But, stay close to Donnie for the rest of the day, you hear?”
“I’d rather stay close to you, actually.”
Now that, she hadn’t been expecting. Gently, she ushered Emma out of the room, laying her hands gently on her shoulders. “Alright, come on kid.”
Emma stood, and straightened her badge. But she paused, turning slowly back to Dana with wide eyes. “Thank you for saving me”
Tightening her hold, Dana smiled. “I got you, girl.”
***
That had been the last time they’d spoken on the subject. Until several shifts later when Emma had quietly turned to Dana and furrowed her brows.
“I lied to an attending for you.”
Guilt tugged at Dana. She knew Emma had chosen to lie. She wouldn’t have blamed her if she’d told Robby the truth of it. That that son of a bitch hadn’t slipped. That even before Dana had realised what she’d done, before she’d reached for the Versed – she’d assaulted a man for putting his hands on the girl.
In fact, she’d clocked him so hard she’d watched his eyes roll back. So hard that blood had poured out of his smug face and Dana had watched him whimper and crawl away with a sick kind of satisfaction. Still, Emma had lied. She’d shouted the same reasoning to Robby. That he’d slipped. That they’d stuck him with a sedative and he’d bumped on the way down.
“I never asked you to do that,” Dana said, fixing Emma with a stare. “Wouldn’t have blamed you if you’d told Robby the truth.”
“He slipped,” Emma said, jaw set. Eyes never leaving Dana’s own. “That’s all there was to it.”
Right, thought Dana. She was leaving out the part where she’d stormed into the room, screaming at that asshole to let Emma go. In truth, she hadn’t even given him time to answer before she’d yanked his arms out from under the girl. That’s when he’d roared to life. Set on his own two feet, hands still reaching out for another person to assault. His wild, manic eyes had locked onto Emma. Which was precisely when he’d gone for Dana. Which was when she’d driven her first right into his face, and stuck him with the Versed.
He’d stumbled, and slunk to the bed slowly than she’d have liked, but Dana had eyeballed the dosage. Done the quick calculations based on his stature and sunk it into his shoulder right there.
Emma had watched the whole thing with panicked eyes. But when she’d met Dana’s cold stare, there was real fear there, yes. But, there was something else in those brown eyes that made Dana take pause. Something like conviction. Like humility and rage all at once. Since then, Dana had tried not to give in to the protective instinct that ran high every time the girl was in her vicinity. Like she was a child that needed to be bundled in soft blankets, and not a woman with her own quiet strength. A woman that everyone else seemed to forget she was.
“Dana?” Asked Emma gently, snapping her out if her own thoughts. “Did you hear me?”
“Yeah, I heard.”
Emma sucked in a breath. “Then you know I'm not backing down from my decision.”
“Alright, Miss Emma.” Dana teased. Though her chest filled with pride, and a touch of surprise once again at Emma’s bold personality. “I believe you.”
It had been three months since her first shift. As all of the other kids from this year had proven, they were tougher than they looked. Every single one had gone through a baptism by fire. Pittfest, the Ransoming of the computers. They’d had an actual fire a few weeks ago. Dana had been Fire Warden. Taking names and registering every patient out and handing the list to the fire department. Emma, along with Santos and Robby had stayed with the most critical patients. Those that could not be moved, save for life saving transportation measures. The fire hadn’t been huge, but it had wiped out the main server room and four of the OR’s upstairs.
They’d met up again in triage hours later, and Robby had given Dana a full report. Turns out, Emma had calmed a patient in the throws of PTSD. He’d been a burns victim, and the fire had prompted many a painful memory. He’d been noted as potentially violent in his chart, but regardless Emma had crawled in close and held his scarred hands in hers, rubbing soothing circles the whole time. Despite the smell of smoke and the angry wailing of the fire alarm. Emma was a saint, Robby said. She’d been brave and never thought about the fire or about the dangerous patient next to her or anything else save the ones that mattered most.
Even Santos had been impressed. That permanent scowl had been momentarily wiped off her face. She’d come to Dana the next day, leaning over her desk.
“Nolan kicks total ass, D!” She’d grinned, with a little more fervour than was necessary. “You should keep this one.”
Pushing up her glasses, Dana peered at the girl over her tablet. “Uh huh.”
“I mean, really,” Santos pushed. “I’m not one to give high praise but Nolan is the real deal. She’s cute and all, but she’s tougher than she looks.”
“You always rootin’ for the pretty ones, Santos?” Dana chuckled. “Or what?”
“I didn’t say she was pretty, I said she was cute,” Santos huffed, eyes darting to the patient board. “You know what, whatever. If Emma wants to switch to the Doctor side of town, let me know!”
After that, she’d been careful to keep an eye on Emma, but let her fly free most of the time. Thrown in the deep end of course, but she seemed to be enjoying it. Every day Emma waltzed into the ER with a smile. Not the same giddy, wide eyed grin that she’d sported her first day. But, a more muted, more grounded smile. Controlled, but still honest. She still arrived as she did every morning, in her denim jacket. Hair braided. Blue notebook tucked against her chest. Only now, the thing was overflowing with pages of text, notes and colour coded stickers. A few scratches and dents adored the cover. A testament to the hard work Emma had put in the past few months.
Some mornings, Dana found herself simply nodding ti the girl quickly before the morning rush. Other days she found Emma making a bee-line straight for her desk. And days like today, Emma was doing just that. Only this time she’d stopped by a Starbucks and brought Dana a coffee.
“Regular latte, two sugars.” She said, sliding it over.
“Thanks, kid,” Dana nodded. “But, this one better not have any of that–”
“- Artificial sweetener crap.” Emma laughed. “I know.”
“Huh.” Dana mused, reaching out to clasp her hands over the hot cup. “We’ll make a good Nurse out of you yet.”
Emma smiled, and shuffled over to Dana’s side of the desk. Her own cup of coffee in one hand, and the other reaching to grab a pen from her drawer. Her drawer that just happened to be in Dana’s desk. Next to Dana’s own drawer full of nicotine gum and cigarettes.
It had become their little routine. More often than not, Dana found herself oddly disappointed when Emma didn’t start her day at her desk. The irritated pang of a decaffeinated coffee was to blame, she was sure. Her mood always improved when she watched Emma’s calm and gentle strides wander through the ER.
“Dana?” Emma asked, voice taking her out of her thoughts. “How is Daniel Lewis doing today?”
Thumbing through her tablet, Dana took a sip of her coffee before answering. Savouring the almost too sweet taste. “Still in South Twelve. Stable. Pulse ox is steady, and his blood pressure improved over the night.” She raised a brow towards Emma. “What are you so worried about? You did a great job with him yesterday.”
“I just don’t want to miss anything,” Emma admitted. “He came in for minor delayed allergy reaction, and I wanted to make sure he got the best care I could give him.”
“Did you?”
“Did I what?” Emma asked, head tilted.
“Did you give him the best care you could, with the time you had available?”
She swallowed. “Uh - ”
“– The answer is yes, Sweetheart.” Dana pressed. “You gotta give yourself credit, no one else is going to do it for you. Know your worth, and don’t let it affect your work.”
Emma only smiled, and walked back to South Twelve. A pen clutched in her hand, coffee in the other. There was a slight spring in her step and she made her way across the corridors, weaving between stretchers and patients alike with ease. Tracing her eyes over the woman, Dana couldn’t help but feel a hit of pride at how far Emma had come. She’d done most of the evolution herself. Girl had that same fire in her than Dana saw in herself, but she’d just needed a push to strike the first match. Unfolding her glasses, Dana grinned. Emma Nolan was going to one hell of a Nurse.
****
Three hours later, Robby had come bounding over the central. Feet hardly touching the ground between steps. Lips pressed into a hard line. As his eyes met hers, she knew something was wrong.
“Hey,” He muttered, eyes never leaving Dana’s face. “We’re going to need South Twelve reopened for night shift. I’m heading out in five, and it’s the last room.”
“South Twelve is already clean, it’s good to go.” Dana slid her finger across her tablet, checking the status. It matched, reading clean / vacant. “Why you asking?”
“I was Daniel Lewis’ room,” Robby said, dropping his gaze. “He didn’t make it.”
Dana’s grip on the tablet tightened. Emma’s patient. It had been so busy and he’d been doing so well that Dana hadn’t even connected the dots that the body bag she’d seen be wheeled down to the morgue several hours earlier had been Emma’s patient.
“Shit, you’re kidding me.”
“Yeah,” Robby sighed. “Room’s clean, ready to go expect for the Nurse that’s still inside.”
“Fuck.”
“Do you want me to - ”
She held up a hand, eyes already peering down the hall.
“- I got it.”
Robby had only nodded in understanding and headed off to complete his final rounds before night shift took over.
Seconds later, Dana found herself outside of South Twelve. Staring up at the glass door, and the curtain that was pulled across it. Tentatively she knocked.
“Sorry,” Came Emma’s muted voice, followed by the sound of shoes scrambling across the floor. “I’m just finishing up in here!”
Dana didn’t wait for the girl to open the door, and instead swung it open on her own, slipping inside and closing it behind her. Sat on the stool, furiously wiping at her reddened eyes was Emma.
“You okay, kid?”
“Yeah,” She said, in a voice that tried to sound steady. “I’m just finished in here, so the night shift can have the - ”
“– Emma.” Dana bit out. “I know about your patient.”
“Oh, yeah I know, I’ll be okay.” Her head snapped up, eyes wide. “Please don’t worry about me, Dana.”
Drawing closer, Dana focused on the way Emma’s hands trembled slightly. The way her hair stood slightly dishevelled, and how her eyes shone a little too brightly under the clinical lights.
“Emma, it’s alright to be upset.” She said softly. “It’s part of the job.”
Slowly, Emma’s shoulders dropped. Her eyes lost that brightness they’d held a moment ago and she’d shuffled herself to reluctantly meet Dana’s stare.
“I’ve never…” She trailed off, voice shaky. “Lost anyone before.”
“I’d like to tell you it get’s easier, but it doesn’t.” Dana said. “It gets less surprising. You’ll get better at handling your feelings about it. Better at recognising the grief. Better and managing the pain. But, that’s the thing, it’s always going to hurt.”
Emma shifted, turning her eyes to watch Dana’s face. As if the answers were etched onto every hard earned line there. “How do you do it?”
“Thirty two years, kid.” Dana huffed, turning away. Feeling suddenly too exposed. “It takes more than it gives, that’s for sure
“I did everything right. I was checking on him, he was my last patient.” Emma explained, brows knitted together. “He was fine one minute, and gone the next.”
“Yeah.” Dana swallowed. “It’s a bitch. But you did nothin’ wrong. You can’t blame yourself for it. But you will, trust me.”
“So,” Emma sighed. “It’s always going to feel this way?”
As she gazed into Emma’s soulful brown eyes, something tightened in her chest. Emma’s young, hopeful demeanour reminded Dana far too much of how she’d been when she’d started. The Dana that had waltzed into the ER with a light in her that refused to dull. The fire within her ever present but simmered more than it burnt these days. The Dana who would have done anything for anyone no matter the cost. The Dana that would have vowed to never let this damned ER take every part of her soul. Every part of her kindness had come at a cost.
She wondered then, staring at Emma, how had she lost so much of herself? Was it the years spent under the fluorescent lights, the decades of santizer wafting off her clothes no matter how many times she washed them. Was it the bloodstained scrubs she’d tried so hard to save the night her first patient had passed? Every kindness had cost a part of herself. She’d be damned it she let Emma feel that way, too.
Idk what absolute TOP TIER crack COCAINE they put in The Pitt because this is the first time in my life I've watched a show where you can GENUINELY ship every single character with eachother in any combination, like spin a fucking wheel, land on some wild pairing and have it still make complete sense.
I feel like Dana isn't as included in the pitt yuri of it all as she should be. She has so few f/f fics, and even in the general plan, she isn't as shipped as the rest of the characters.
Here are some of my humble suggestions:
Dana/Ellis: Hell yeah, did you see their scene together? The potential is there. Hopefully, people will see the vision now that Ellis is going to be on the day shift.
Dana/Garcia: Who do you think gave her the "nurse pretty face" nickname? She is Garcia's perfect match in the "i'm gonna make this as awkward as possible for my coworkers" game and the non-bullshit contest.
Dana/Perlah: You cannot convince me that Perlah doesn't have a crush on her. Just imagine the first time she saw Dana defending her nurses.
Dana/Santos: Dana knows that Santos has a crush on her and sometimes will tease her about it because she knows Santos can take it (her words, not mine)
Dana/Baran: don't even let me get started on this one
romaincrisis
dededos
discoholicmusic
tangentwithtanner
jbbartram-illu
