Can you write another short paragraph story about the kids hearing the moms have sex, I just read Mama Trauma and that was the funniest greatest thing ever !
Iâm so glad you liked Mama Trauma, anon! Itâs one of my faves, tbh. I went in a little bit different direction this time but hopefully you enjoy it just as much! Itâs longer than you asked for but itâs still on the short side for me. đ
Also, thanks for sending this. I donât usually write the kids, and pretty much never without at least one of the moms but this was actually really fun and reminded me that once upon a time, I actually liked this little gang of hooligans. Sibling commiseration is great!
âAre you okay?â Mariana asked, looking up from her phone as she came through to the living room from the kitchen. Jude was perched on the edge of the couch, the color of his face a sickly yellow. He shook his head.
âWhatâs wrong?â she asked, sitting down beside him, her face soft with concern. Jude stared across the room with glassy eyes.
âI just wanted to get my backpack so I could do my homework.â He sounded far off as he spoke. âI went upstairs to get it andââ
Mariana gasped. âYou went upstairs?â
âOh, no, Jude.â Mariana looked at him with sympathy. âLook, when moms go upstairs right after dinner, theyâre either fighting or⊠well, you know. And you do not want to be upstairs for either one.â
âYeah, sorry.â Mariana scrunched her nose, looking guilty. âItâs just something weâve all kind of learned the hard way.â
âHow will I know when itâs safe to go get my homework?â
Mariana shrugged as she leaned back against the couch. âI usually give them an hour, just to be safe.â
âI mean, you can go up earlier if you want but do it at your own risk.â
âNo, no. Itâs fine. Iâll wait.â
At the sound of footsteps in the entryway, they both turned their heads.
âCallie, no!â Jude shouted as his sister mounted the stairs. Callie backed up to the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest and a scowl on her face.
âGirl, I would not go up there if I were you.â
Callieâs eyes narrowed in suspicion. âUh, why not?â
She stared at Mariana for a minute. âYou mean likeâŠ?â she asked, her nose wrinkling and Mariana nodded. âGross.â
âAt least you didnât have to hear it,â Jude complained.
âOh, no, buddy! You didnât!â Callie said, trying and failing to cover her laughter with sympathy. Jude glared at her as she came to sit in the arm chair across from them.
âHe didnât know not to go upstairs when moms go up right after dinner.â
âUh, yeah, me neither.â
âReally?â Mariana asked and Callie shook her head. âYou both went this long without making that mistake?â
âI guess,â Callie said with a shrug.
âNow that I think about it, it hasnât been happening as often. I guess maybe you havenât because they havenât⊠been⊠you knowâŠâ
âCan we please stop talking about this?â Jude begged.
âStop talking about what?â
âMoms having sex,â Mariana answered as Brandon plopped down in the other arm chair.
âUh, yeah, Iâm with Jude. Letâs not talk about that.â
âHe went upstairs,â Mariana told him in a loud whisper, shielding her mouth from Jude behind the back of her hand.
Brandon grimaced and sucked the air in between his teeth. âOh, yeah, bud, you canât do that when moms go upstairs together right after dinner.â
âYeah, I know. Now,â Jude said to his lap.
Callie pulled her legs up into the chair and leaned forward, looking between Mariana and Brandon. âWait, so thatâs, like, really a thing? This happens enough that you guys just know when not to go upstairs after dinner?â
Brandon shrugged and nodded. âI mean, sometimes theyâre fighting, which is still best to avoid. But you can usually tell if itâs a fight when they donât talk very much during dinner. Or when one of them leaves the dinner table before dinnerâs over and then the other one goes up not long after. But, I mean, weâve all made the mistake Jude did. Itâs pretty much a right of passage.â
âMore like a fright of passage,â Jude muttered.
The sound of the front door slamming had all four of them watching as JesĂșs appeared in the doorway, his wrestling bag slung over his shoulder and a sweatshirt tucked under his arm.
âWhereâs Mom?â he asked after plucking out his earbuds.
âYou donâtââ Jude started then grunted when Mariana elbowed him in the ribs. He rubbed his side and frowned at her.
âUpstairs,â Mariana chirped, a wide smile plastered to her face.
Callie had to cover her mouth with her hand as he gave them a nod and bounded up the stairs two at a time. The four of them sat in silence, unable to look each other in the eye for fear of laughing as they listened.
A pained groan came down the stairwell, followed by footsteps racing back down the stairs. âSeriously?!â they heard before JesĂșs even made it back down to the landing and they all dissolved into a fit of laughter.
âI hate you!â JesĂșs declared as he turned the corner and chucked his sweatshirt right at Marianaâs face.
âUgh.â She dropped it to the floor, her mouth curling in disgust. âYeah, well, if you were ever home for dinner anymore, youâd have known not to go upstairs.â Her lips pursed and her head bobbed as she crossed her arms on her chest.
Dropping his bag at the bottom of the stairs, JesĂșs sneered back at her. âSorry, Mariana. Some of us actually have lives.â
âShut up,â she spit back and rolled her eyes.
âAt least youâre not alone, now, Jude,â Callie offered, a hint of laughter still in her voice.
âOh, man, did you go upstairs?â JesĂșs asked. Jude nodded. âBro, if they go up right after dinner, you gotta give them at least an hour. Just to be safe.â
âI KNOW!â Judeâs cheeks blossomed red and he flopped back against the back of the couch, sighing. âYou know, you guys could have mentioned this any time in the last year.â
âSorry, man.â JesĂșs sat down on the step, his legs stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankles as he leaned back on his hands. âItâs just one of this things you donât think about. You just know, yâknow?â
Jude groaned and covered his face with his hands. âDo you ever stop hearing it?â
âNo,â Brandon said and his siblings shook their heads in agreement. âEventually, you stop thinking about it but then, when youâre least expecting it, it pops back in your head and you wish all over again that you could bleach your brain.â
âAt least now you know, so hopefully it wonât happen again,â Mariana said, patting his shoulder.
âIt hasnât happened to me in years, thank god,â JesĂșs said.
âIt only happened to me once. I think I was like eleven? Twelve?â Mariana shook her head. âI donât know. All I know is that it was awful.â
âYeah, well, at least none of you ever walked in on them!â Brandon lamented.
âOh my god!â Callie covered her mouth again, her face a mixture of amusement and horror. âYou did?â
âI was like nine. It was the first year the twins were here. I wasnât used to sharing the bathroom and someone was in there. So I went to momsâ room to use their bathroom but⊠I never even made it to the bathroom.â
âOh god,â Mariana groaned.
âBro, didnât you knock?â
Brandon shot him an indignant look. âI was nine! The door wasnât locked! How was I supposed to know theyâd be in there doing⊠that?â
When Brandon shuddered, JesĂșs burst out in a full belly laugh that echoed through the entryway while Callie and Mariana both tried to cover giggles. Jude was the only one regarding Brandon with an appropriate amount of sympathy.
With a grunt, Jude dropped his head into his hands. âCan we please talk about something else? I donât need any more visuals than I already have.â
âOkay, yeah, youâre right. Sorry, dude,â JesĂșs agreed, though he was still laughing.
âYou know what? Why donât we go, like, get some ice cream or something?â Brandon suggested. âYou donât want to be home when they come downstairs. Trust me. You think hearing it is awkward? Seeing them afterwards, when you know what just went on? Thatâs even worse.â
Judeâs head popped up, his eyes wide. âYes please! Letâs go!â He jumped from the couch and darted toward the front door.
âSure, Iâll come,â Mariana said as she pushed herself up from the couch.âWhy not,â Callie shrugged.
âHell yeah!â JesĂșs popped up from the floor and grabbed his sweatshirt from the floor, pulling it on over his head. âHey, can we stop for burgers on the way? Iâm starving.â
âWe all just had dinner, dummy,â Mariana reminded him and accompanied it with an eye roll.
âWell, I didnât. Dummy,â he shot back.
âYou guys knock it off or neither of you are coming,â Brandon warned.
Ignoring the bickering as she pulled on her jacket, Callie said, âWhy donât we just go to Shake Shack? JesĂșs can get a burger and we can all get shakes.â
âI donât care where we go, as long as we just go,â Jude insisted. He was standing with his hand on the door, his eyes darting up the stairs like he was waiting for a ghost to appear.
âFine. Weâll go to Shake Shack,â Brandon said as he grabbed keys from beside the door.
âWhat are you doing?â Mariana asked, cocking an eyebrow and crossing her arms over her chest. âThose are Momâs keys.â
âYeah, I know. Iâm not cramming all you guys into my car. Weâre taking Momâs.â
âDonât you have to, like, ask?â
Brandon looked at the keys in his hand, then back toward the stairs. âMaybe Iâll just text her so she knows weâre gone.â
âYouâre gonna get in trouble.â
âYeah, well, if youâd like to go up there and ask, be my guest.â
Mariana put up her hands. âOh, no. Iâm not going to. But you knowââ
âJude!â When she turned to face him her mouth gaped open in shock.
âLook, if you donât want to come, thatâs fine. But we have to go so either come with us or shut up and let us go!â
Mariana scanned all of their faces and when she found no sympathy, she sighed and rolled her eyes. âFine. But when we come home and Momâs mad, I want it noted that I was the only one who said we should ask.â
âFine, Mariana. Youâre perfect. Duly noted. Now letâs go.â Brandon ushered everyone toward the door.
âYou know,â JesĂșs said as they spilled out the front door, âhopefully sheâs in a good enough mood by the time we get home, she wonât even be mad.â
The last thing heard before the door slammed shut was a chorus of groans while JesĂșs threw his head back and laughed.
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