I've stared at my profile picture for 5 hours now @nekoghoulkaneki - Tumblr Blog

novice-heartbreaker-deactivated

I love you all so much, happy pride month

thatdunlife

The Basement // tonight

#TourDeColumbus

(x)

pochowek

yall like “I wanna die” like a broken record but a buncha clowns come over wanting to kill you and youre all shitting your pants. hypocrites you are

flanneldragon

the day i let fuckin bozo stab me to death is the day i die, pal

elysiadragon

well yeah thats how being stabbed to death works

flanneldragon

dont make fun of me dude what if a girl sees this

nekoghoulkaneki

A girl just saw this.

lesbianashleywilliams

me: eh i’m not sure about this pirate game hot lady pirate: *appears* me, pulling a pirate hat out of my ass: Scissor Me Timbers

dragon-jadefire

Its “shiver me timbers”…. 😒😒😒

aaaaaaaaaaalianzinsurance

oh honey

nekoghoulkaneki

Protect the innocent

jse-egopocalypse

Sacramento (x)

Mark has found his new super power!

nekoghoulkaneki

Please kiss me....

epitaaph

“i could write a book on how everything runs and how the process has grown over the years, but, for now, that’s the simple version of how it works.”

today-ifuckedup

Today I fucked up...by trusting a “hot local single in my area” on a dating app

Greatest/worst thing ever just happened to me, so buckle up folks..it’s story time:

Girl on a dating app tells me in the first few messages that I’m really cute (true) and interesting (also true) and asks me to meet her at 1140am for coffee at a random McDonald’s. When I ask if she’s a 45 year old man trying to harvest my organs, she proceeds to send me 15 pictures in a row that look like they’re straight from Facebook. Because that’s how you convince somebody you’re real (not true).

Now normally I don’t accept propositions like this because I’m thinking “what’s the catch?” Well, I decide to live a little on the YOLO side…and since it’s right next to a Subway Sandwich shop I think that the worst that could happen is it’s a 45 year old lonely man, I give him a big hug because I know the feeling as a 25 year old lonely man, get a tasty sandwich, then go home. Apparently that was NOT the worst thing that could happen.

I show up. She shows up. She’s real. I’m surprised. I buy her coffee because I subscribe to traditional gender roles unless requested otherwise. She uses her McCafe frequent buyers card so she gets stamps. Its cute. While the guy is making her drink, she tells me to go find a table outside in the sun. I go outside and find the perfect goddamn table because I’m a romantic at heart. 5 minutes later. 10 minutes later. 15 minutes later. No girl. I text her the typical guy message “lol u get lost???”. No response. Turns out she took the coffee and left.

So I’m not saying it’s bad to leave a date if you feel uncomfortable or aren’t attracted to them. It’s totally your decision. But I don’t think that’s the case…I think this girl is a serial McCafe dater. And I don’t think this was her first time. It was too professional. Too clean. It was the perfect McHeist. And I’m starting to think I’m not even mad…she didn’t steal my credit card, or my organs. Just a few euros.

And my heart.

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.