~Nekokittu~ @nekokittu - Tumblr Blog

sto-vo-kor

I think I did it. I managed to capture the very essence of Red Dwarf in only one screenshot.

cat-memes-only

petshed-blog

mythicalpiranha-moved-deactivat

wizardhuts

@grumpyteenagers

justbadpuns

At any given time, the urge to sing “the lion sleeps tonight” is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away

prokopetz

Trainability in cats is a funny thing.

My cats understand and will obey a number of verbal commands, one of which is “go away”. I don’t use it often, but if they’re bugging me and I’m trying to work or doing something that could be dangerous for cats, I can tell them to go away, and off they go - they’ll only keep pestering me if there’s a serious problem they need me to look at.

That said, their idea of a serious problem that requires my attention is somewhat eccentric. Previous instances have included:

There was an unfamiliar car parked across the street

Their water bowl was four inches to the left of its usual position

One of them had puked on the stairs and they didn’t want to walk past it

It was raining

One of them saw a weird bug

hollowedskin

These are all very important things that required your attention. They’re doing a good job.

blenderweaselhasopinions

Dogs really aren’t much better. I teach all my dogs the command “show me”. How it works is if the dog needs something but I’m having trouble understanding what exactly they’re trying to tell me, I say “show me” and they lead me to whatever the problem is. Usually they lead me to a real problem (like a toy that got stuck under the couch, their water bowl is empty, etc). But sometimes they want me to fix things like this-

They pulled the covers off my bed and now they want me to put the covers back

They put their ball on top of the ottoman but the ottoman won’t throw it for them

The cat is sleeping and won’t chase them

A flower fell off the potted plant

The cat is sitting in a box and they don’t like it

One of them lost their bandana

The cat won’t take the toy they’re trying to give her

The cat DID take the toy they gave her and now they want it back

idiopathicsmile

you know what’s probably more fun than playing chess? cheating at chess

“ohhh would you look at that, my pawns found jesus and now they’re all bishops”

“so i realize it looks like i’m putting a thimble on the board but actually my rooks have been using their downtime to build another rook, one that’s better, stronger, faster—”

“hey welcome back. while you left to get a snack, those six pieces you’d captured slipped their guards, tunneled to safety and emerged right in the middle of your royal palace.”

“oof, looks like you’ve got my king cornered…maybe this is a good time to mention that shortly before we started playing, my pawns and knights revolted and instituted a representative democracy. feel free to kill the puppet ruler that was the one remaining vestige of our tyranny, you cringing servant of the crown. vive la revolution!”

lizardywizard

did you mean Mornington Crescent

toolusingmammalgirl

sorion

If you’ve never seen this video, WATCH IT!

bisexualwario

notcaycepollard

girlfriend just delivered me a box of candy canes and here is my new personality test to replace MBTI or astrology or whatever

the Cruncher: you start at the hook end and chew your candy cane to pieces. you are forthright and impatient. behind your back people call you an asshole, but lovingly. how do you cope with that much hard candy stuck in your teeth.

the Snapper: you start at the hook end and snap off bite-sized pieces, eating each piece before you unwrap the next segment. you are life’s natural planner. so orderly you probably use colour-coded excel spreadsheets for your groceries. you never forget to do all that seasonal cleaning apartment therapy tells me to do and i never do. like dusting your baseboards. you probably do that.

the Unwrapper: you start at the long end and unwrap the whole thing so you can clutch it stickily in your bare hands. you beautiful rule-breaking moth. nobody should touch a candy cane with their bare fingers. what is wrong with you.

the Shiv: you start at the long end and suck it into the deadliest seasonal weapon. you definitely have siblings. probably you were raised in a household where weapons as toys were discouraged. probably you’re also kind of awkwardly masochistic.

side note. if you like the fruit flavoured candy cane better than the peppermint one, you’re wrong. straight-up just wrong.

theaveragemo

So my roommate and I got these Rudolph Christmas coloring books a couple of weeks back. Since it’s finals week, I wanted to ease my mind into studying by coloring. First time opening the book and I saw this picture..

And I thought to myself

Oh my god do I try.

theaveragemo

I swear to god if I get tumblr famous over this stinkin Heman the meme nose reindeer.

strawberryshortcakekitten-deact

HOW IS THIS THE FIRST TIME IVE SEEN THIS

pi4nobl4ck

delcisco

NO WAY

irritatedkiwi-deactivated202512

Honestly how the fuck

tyleroakley

this did not disappoint

theinturnetexplorer

Pokemon Mashups

blackbookalpha

Reaper can’t catch a break!

madzelqrow

@russet-moon

JESUS CHRIST

tastefullyoffensive

#Art (via timurse)

happygoldfish

Adding a picture of the building so you can see how high that star is off the ground. How the hell did the artist even do this.

robotlyra

“Is this the People’s Republic?” “NO, THIS IS PATRICK”

astralprj

Cat Snapchats

Feline isn’t big on snow either….

pkmn-trainer-touko-tajiri

so this one time, I had a great idea for pokemon fic.

It was basically about this older gruff jaded trainer who finds a little kid wandering around the route, calling for his fearow. Like little tiny babby’s first time training trainer.

So he asks the kid ‘Yo kid, you lose your starter or somethin’?”

Kid: “Yeah, it’s my fearow, he flew off after some raticate and now I can’t find him.” Older trainer’s like goddamn, who gets a kid a fearow as a starter?

“Your parents uh get you that fearow?” Cause he’s gonna have some words with this kids parents if that’s the case. Kid’s still like looking in trees and bushes and shit.

“No, caught ‘em myself out by the powerplant, saved up and bought the greatball myself and everything!” Kid’s super proud of that, meanwhile the older trainer’s thinking, weird, there’s no fearow out by the power plant, meh, maybe one flew there by accident.

Long story short, it’s not a fearow. A storm front rolls in and the kid’s like, ‘welp, there’s my fearow. Finally.’ Older trainer gets the heart attack of his life when fucking zapdos lands next to this kid out of a goddamn thundercloud and starts preening little kid’s hair.

“That’s not a fearow.” Is the only thing older trainer can say.

“What are you blind or something mister?” Says the little kid. “He’s got the spiky fearow feathers and everything. I can’t believe you call yourself a trainer. Come on Fearow, let’s go find a real trainer to battle.”

hedgiwithapen

!!!!!! that is /excellent/ Yes please.

pkmn-trainer-touko-tajiri

One of the ideas was to have team rocket show up and menace them, and have ‘fearow’ show up to strike thunder god fear in their hearts for scaring its trainer.

The other idea is kid gets an igglybuff as their second pokemon and everyone assumes the iggly is their only pokemon.

“Oh no, mr iggles isn’t for fighting.” Kid says. “That’s what I have fearow for!”

They are the worst best trainer ever, because zapdos would fly this kid to the moon if they asked because they are a precious little bundle of naïvety and joy. But kid only wants to beat up other trainers for candy and poffin money.

hedgiwithapen

I love it.

I would read the crap out of this.