Moon Owl

Joyous noises & Real writings

[nellephoto25]

The sunlight shown through the tree branches

The crisp, cool air was slightly damp from the night before

There was a faint breeze that tickled the back of your neck

As the sun was rising, the cool air was too

My mind was racing with thoughts

What the day would hold?

I imagined how things could have been or would have been

If things could have been different

I don’t own a time machine nor do I know how, but if I could turn back time for just a moment

Turn the wheels of time back to a single moment

Back to a memory of you and I

How different things may have been

I take a deep breath and breathe in the morning air

I sip from my cup, taking in everything this morning

All these little moments

All the beauty in one single moment



[nellephoto25]

How do you mourn the loss of someone that is still alive and present with you each and every day? You don’t know how to be as the person you are now. You have lived with someone else inside for so long that you don’t understand what’s happening. It’s difficult to just be content sometimes. It’s like a relative or best friend that moves away, you miss them and their presence being there all the time. You have become something so different, yet the same. Once you’ve lived with the anxiety, sadness, stress, just feeling lost and alone for so long, it’s hard to know something different. You are becoming a better person. You are doing better mentally and physically. Things aren’t the same and it’s just such a weird and surreal feeling. What are you becoming as a whole person? Is this person and new feeling going to last? Why is it so hard to just be content with things in the moment? There are difficult times and things can be hard, but it’s just generally different from who you were months ago. Can I climb this mountain and get to the top, screaming my lungs out? Can I just set things free and be?

[nellephoto25]

Why does it feel like I’m losing myself in the journey? Like I’m becoming something else or someone else in a way. Like I’m kinda getting in my feels with this whole journey to healthier and better me. I feel like idk who I am anymore or the core being of me is. I feel as if I’m losing a part of me or my past self and it’s a bit sad. Like idk who I am without the things I was. This is hard mentally to wrap my head around. I feel like there is a big void inside of me. Like some puzzle pieces are missing from my complete picture. Idk how to get those back or even if I should. I don’t even know where to start. Even listening to a certain song changes the way I feel about it compared to how it felt before. It’s as if I’m standing in the middle of a huge crowded room and everyone around me is having a party and I’m just kinda lost in the middle. Watching everyone and everything circling around me loud and fast and I’m just there standing still. Still in the midst of all the chaos. Where have I gone? Where am I going? I don’t know anymore……..

[nellephoto25]

Make me feel whole again

Like I’m someone else I’m not

Wake me up and drench me in your body

To taste you

[nellephoto25]

The sunlight beams across your cheek

The wind blows a slight breeze

I can see in the distance

You next to me

Hand in hand

Everything I hold near

Everything I hold so close

My darkest days

All the fears

Fade away when I’m with you

It’s seems like a million years

Since I’ve seen your face

Touched you

Felt your embrace

Im only half of me

Waiting for all the pieces to fall in place

To be with you

Is all I need

[nellephoto25]

I made a German chocolate cake.

[nellephoto25]

She sits in a glass bubble

She stands on a thin sheet of ice

Her smile is crooked

Her eyes are deep blue as the ocean

Sunken inside

She has razor sharp teeth

Always ready to bite

Out for the kill

Oh, it’s such a thrill

Her mind is red

She is fragile as a feather

Waiting for the world to turn



[nellephoto25]

Hold your head up high. Never give up on your dreams. Remember to take the time to slow down and really enjoy all the little moments in life. Life can get chaotic and stressful, but we all need to take the time to live a little. Mistakes happen and sometimes things become broken, but from those broken things become something even stronger. The things we go through help teach us a life lesson. Each choice we make leads us to where we are today, but we cannot turn back time. The choices we make happened and taught us so much more than we can even see sometimes. Just remember that you can achieve your dreams and live life to the fullest. Be happy, choose happy. Do things that ignite a spark within. Always sparkle and shine and never lose your smile. It’s hard to be positive, but we can try to see the bright side. We can see the littlest light shinning through the cracks in our walls. Even when it feels like everything is crumbling around us, we can take a moment to just breathe and listen to the world around us. Walk outside and take in the beauty of nature and all things around us.

[nellephoto25]

Made grilled cheese on sourdough with 3 cheese for lunch today. Delicious 🧀🍞

[nellephoto25]

[nellephoto25]

Who really sees you?

Who really knows you?

Who really wants you?

In the darkest of the depths,

Who really wants you for you?

Your whole being is magnificent,

You are spectacular,

Everything is wondrous,

Free flowing,

Being real,

Really true,

Truest real,

Authentically you

[nellephoto25]

She loved with a open soul

She smiled only once in a moon

Her heart was damaged and hurt

She gave everything

Taking nothing in return

She was broken in a million pieces

Waiting to be put back together

Crumbling

Falling upon the ground

She was a beautiful mess

She never knew anything different

[theimpossiblecool]

“Be a fool. For love. For yourself. What you think might possibly make you happy - even for a little while - whatever the cost or good sense might dictate.”

Anthony Bourdain.

[nellephoto25]

Charlotte had long black hair, the year was 1972. Tunes played in the back of my mind. Brandy you’re a fine girl, Elton John and Bread melodies all were harmed in the back of my old Plymouth. I was barely 19, not knowing which direction I would be going. I graduated high school the previous year and was bumming around the local corner store making $20 a week. After cruising money and snacks there wasn’t much left, but I still felt independent and free. Charlotte was the prettiest girl in town.

[nellephoto25]

I wished I wasn’t who I am

I wished I could be somebody else 

I wish I was different

I wished that perhaps I was a better person

I wish things could be so different

I tried to care

I tried so fucking hard

I’ll never be good enough

[nellephoto25]

Sometimes you’re just never good enough,

Sometimes you’re just never the right fit,

Sometimes you are a square peg trying to fit into a round hole,

Sometimes you’re too unique,

Sometimes you’re too loud,

Sometimes you’re not loud enough,

Sometimes there’s just never enough hours in the day,

Sometimes I wish I could be different,

Sometimes it just hurts,

Sometimes you can only try so hard,

Sometimes you end up breaking,

Sometimes you crumble, and sometimes you fall,

Sometimes you wish and sometimes you don’t,

Sometimes you feel like a failure,

Sometimes you think you shine,

Sometimes it’s just an optical illusion,

Sometimes you wish there wasn’t sometimes at all,

Sometimes you wish everything could be different,

But sometimes there is always a sometimes.

[nellephoto25]

I’m an unsettled being in this human form.