[nemaliwrites]

realized i never made an intro post so hello. welcome to my blog.

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[evilvillain123456789]

step one: replace entire personality with open, festering wound

step two: contort absolutely all stimuli in my environment to relate to the my wound in some manner, ideally one which justifies random acts of unbridled aggression and vengeance

step three: marry a girl with generational wealth

[asukiess]

people will say here is my rewrite where the lovesquare isn’t Obsessive and Possessive and they don’t put each other on Pedestals and it’s Realistic. here’s my meta on why Gabriel never really romantically loved Emilie so I can safely ship him with Nathalie. why did Felix take out the entire world and try to make something new for Adrien? it’s just so weird to love someone so much and to put that in a story. my god why don’t we all watch paint dry and eat cornflakes and abstain from jerking off. you tuned into the obsessive over the top romance story you milquetoast walnut.

[nemaliwrites]

1024 words today.. done with my lil ofic interlude and now we are back to your regularly scheduled fic snippets

"I wanted it to be your name so badly."

“I remember,” Yor says, voice warm. She doesn’t tell him, not then and not now, that she, too, wanted that. Some small part of her. Such an awful thought. It’s a job of a parent, a sister, a caretaker, to hope that a child will one day leave the nest, so to speak. Prepare them to take on the rest of the world, then step back to let them do just that. Wrong of her to hope, wish, pray that he would be tied down. That the mark of her name on his skin would mean something. I exist, it would say, even if only to Yuri. I mean something to someone. I am real. 

Yuri doesn’t meet her eyes. He’s worrying the pastry he ordered into small pieces, tearing it with a kind of anxious organization. Lining up the crumbs, one by one. She wouldn’t be surprised if he were counting them in his head: twos, tens, twenties. When he finally speaks, it’s so quiet that she thinks she’s misheard.

“I met her.”

Yor swallows her tea too quickly, eyes watering at the way it burns her throat. Lucky, then, that she can pass them off for happy tears. 

[nemaliwrites]

845 words noodling around with another idea today - instead of that, have some amelie from the drafts

Amelie has long since wondered about the relationship between food, maker, and eater. Dreamed, occasionally, of simpler times: making something with her own hands and putting bits of herself in in the process. Someone eating it and knowing, understanding her in the process. But now, such a thought no longer appeals to her. The opposite, in fact. She would rather die than let Felix eat anything she had made--let him touch all the anger and hatred and rot festering within her. 

The line moves, and with it, so too does Amelie. Off the street and into the bakery--soft, cozy, smelling of bread and vanilla. So strong she can nearly taste it. A pit in her stomach, growling and demanding to be fed. Curiosity feels a lot like hunger, sometimes; simply another urge that demands to be fed. Against her will, her mouth begins to water. So many years with her husband--told what to say, how to act, and above all, what to eat--and still, her body pays it no mind. Does whatever it wants. Stronger than her mind, in that way. 

It's during times like this, at the mercy of something as powerful as her own survival instincts, that Amelie feels so very close to her son. 

[nemaliwrites]

hello! love your writing so much, you're my favourite author in the ml fandom ❤️ i was wondering if you'd be willing to offer some advice on when to end stories. do you usually have a good idea of what the last words are going to be before you write? or do you write something and go: yes, that's it?

what the hell :') you are so sweet... and you know exactly where to hit me... i LOVE talking writing...

ooh this is a good question. broadly speaking, if we look at things from a story structure perspective, it's important to understand what an ending really is. and a beginning. and a story itself. LOL

there's this advice that floats around often that you should start your story as close to the 'beginning' (which usually refers to the inciting incident) as possible. i think that can apply to endings as well - you kind of want to end things as close to the 'end' as possible. so what does that really mean?

most stories, at their core, are about a character who goes through things and changes, either for the better or worse (yeahh i know this might be an oversimplification and there definitely CAN be stories that proceed with static characters, but. this can still apply, i think, bc usually in those cases the character ends up changing the world around them. i digresss). and if the inciting incident is the 'start' of whatever journey the character goes on that will end up changing them, then the beginning should be the 'before snapshot' of who your character is. in the same vein, an ending is an 'after snapshot' of who your character has become, how they've changed, and what this new life of theirs looks like.

you also want your character to be like. a fully realized person. so it helps, i think, to kind of hint at what will come next for them.. that doesn't have to be anything big, to be clear. it's just something that shows us that yes, they still have a 'life' after this particular story ends. they will still wake up tomorrow and live their life.

now, me personally? i think... rarely do i know where a story is going to end. in some ways, i suppose i have a sort of goalpost i'm writing towards, though... i very much like writing endings that are cyclical, in that.. yeah, our character has changed, but in some ways, they're still backsliding. their journey has changed them, and they know that they're prone to making mistakes. but this time, they're doing it on purpose. that's not a mistake anymore. and doesn't that mean they've changed as a person? for better or for worse, though, remains to be seen.

there's another piece of advice i see on occasion that when you're trying to end a story and you feel like you're kind of rambling/feel bogged down, chances are that your 'real' ending is a couple hundred words behind where you are, and you might have to delete some stuff.

i think generally the most important thing about endings is having some kind of 'final image' that you can leave your readers with. but what that looks like is definitely personal preference, and i think it's worth experimenting with! i used to end all my fics with dialogue back when i first started writing, but after a while, i felt like that was a bit too abrupt for my tastes and i started changing things up. these days, i usually use a line that appeared somewhere earlier in the fic, but is recontextualized based on what came after. i think... it was.. the breathplay fic? that i ended with a question. i don't usually do that, but i think it worked for that fic, and i like the effect it had.

but yes, those are my thoughts on Endings!! i'd also love to know yours, if you have any... :3

[genderqueeradrien]

imagine going over to your boyfriend's house and his dad sends him to his room and then says all this to you. what do u even do .

[nemaliwrites]

636 words today.. my copy of page one to done came in the mail. jessica brody included a personalized inscription and also drew a box around the word 'finish'. okay.

 "It isn't like you to call out of the blue like this."

"Not like you, either," says Yuri, and unwittingly, she's thrown back into that night. Stumbling, fingers so cold, alone, dialing on the payphone. A voice coming through the phone pressed to her ear. Stark black lines illuminated by moonlight. It takes her a moment to realize that Yuri's still talking. She schools her expression into something more neutral. Reaches with those cold, cold fingers for her Sister script. 

"Do you remember my sixteenth birthday?" he's saying now. 

"Of course," Yor says immediately, because she remembers everything about Yuri. She'd taken on a few extra jobs to be able to afford a present for him, something that she wanted to make sure that he would like. She'd gone out and bought all the ingredients for a cake, attempted to time everything so that it would be ready exactly by midnight. And it was, but the sound he'd made when his mark had begun to come in, the way his hands had pressed to his ribcage as though in pain, had sufficiently distracted her. The cake had come out burnt, though knowing her, that's what it would have been like anyway. 

"I cried so hard that day," says Yuri, and she has no doubt that the look on his face now is mirrored by hers: that faraway flush of being transported into a memory, remnants from the life when it was just the two of them, Yor and Yuri, Yuri and Yor.

[nemaliwrites]

702 words today..tired..good Night <3

Silly Yor, Yuri's voice says in her head, repeating words from so long ago. Ghosts aren't real!

No, not a ghost. A threat. Those eyes--calculating, cataloging. Yor's nails dig into her palms. She's seeing things. It's not fair to Loid or Anya to let anything affect their life like this. She came into this arrangement a certain way, and she's going to keep being that way. 

"Fine," Loid says after a moment. He clears his throat before taking a sip of coffee. Waits for one second, two, three, before he adds, "The coffee is delicious. Thank you, Yor."

With the feeling of heat rising in her cheeks, so too does relief in Yor's chest. This, she knows how to respond to. But before she can, Loid shifts, sits up straighter. There's the slightest gap between the top two buttons of his pajama shirt. Hardly a few centimeters of skin; nothing worth even a second glance.

And yet.

Yor stares at that gap. At the way his throat bobs when he swallows the coffee made by her hands. At the unmarred skin, so very pale.

She doesn't know Loid's first wife's name. It must have been tragic, watching his mark fade along with her. A part of him, in more ways than one, gone forever. How it must have happened: graying, scratching, a slow disappearance? Or, simply, gone? A knife thrown, a life taken.

She wonders if it hurt.

[jessiewithaj]

sex, but instead of fucking you, we both get naked and i hold your head in my lap and forgive you for everything you think you've done wrong.

[nemaliwrites]

984 words today... took a few days off. did not help. only way out is through, i guess

She doesn’t realize when something is wrong. It’s just the routine they follow every day, the scripts they read off of. She makes him coffee, he thanks her for it. Takes a seat at the table, pulls the newspaper toward himself, asks Anya if all her homework is all ready to go. A play of domesticity—she’s long since stopped asking who the audience is. One thing when they’re out and about, another entirely in the comfort of their own home.

Yor is grateful for it, though. What better way to learn normalcy then to have it at all? 

Her hands are shaking less as she pushes herself through the motions—cup, water, coffee grounds, steady, steady, milk, saucer—and only afterward, when she has a perfectly made cup of coffee to show for it, does she realize that the room has been silent for far too long. When she turns, everyone is as she left them. Loid is still, eyes narrow edas he watches her flit around the kitchen. Anya looks between them both apprehensively. 

Oh, no. Yor’s hands raise self-consciously to her face. Did she miss a bloodstain somewhere? Some kind of sticker that says, I’m an unloveable assassin, maybe? Or what about—

“Mama looks great this morning!” says Anya, punctuated by a high-pitched laugh. “The same as always. No—no blood or anything else out of place. Right, Papa?”

Loid startles as though he’s been stabbed.

[webber-da-spider]

‘Multiple leviathan classlifeforms detected’ is an incredible line, and I’m astounded that they one upped it in Subnautica 2 with four words

‘You are being hunted’

[nemaliwrites]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Persona 5 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Sakamoto Ryuji/Takamaki Ann, Kurusu Akira/Takamaki Ann, Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji/Takamaki Ann Characters: Takamaki Ann, Sakamoto Ryuji, Kurusu Akira (Persona Series) Additional Tags: Formalwear, Flirting, Established Relationship, Polyamory, Crossdressing, Dancing, Jealousy, Identity Porn Summary:

There's a girl staring at Ann from across the room.

[nemaliwrites]

Ok now I wanna know, tell us what the titles to chapter seven of the night and six inches taller and any other fic titles you wanna talk about mean 🎤

whoa... dagger pushing a microphone into my hands... okay... if you insist...

Chapter Seven of the Night.. (which i will edit the next chapter of soon, i swear!) the title comes from Jay Chou's 夜的第七章! the translations of the lyrics kind of vary, from what i could see <- girl who does not speak chinese. but i looove this song, and the first time i read the lyrics, i literally was like "gabriel". it was the chorus, in particular:

If evil is a glorious, ruthless movement (Footsteps, the soft leather heels I anticipated) (He pushes the door open) (The oil lamp flickers in the night wind) I will write its final act myself (The typewriter stops at the killer's name) (I turn around)

something about this guy, thinking he's writing his own story, not knowing that it's coming to life - and more than that, coming for him. say it with me: post-wish gabriel!! this, in a nutshell, was what i wanted the relationship between gabriel and ladybug to be. chapter titles also come from this song hehe

Six Inches Taller... my hate letter to shane </3 soo much of the backstory in this fic came from me reading through shane's wikipage for quotes and literally going D: it's fascinating to me that his whole like..relationship progression is about him quitting drinking and taking the steps to heal, but after marriage if things are bad, he'll just.. start drinking again. and there's not really anything you can do about it. he tells you he hates farm life. he tells you that you remind him of marnie on her bad days. the title, specifically, comes from this line of dialogue in the game:

"I wish I was six inches taller and a whole lot smarter... You like me for who I am? I still have a hard time understanding that...”

he'll never be happy with what he has!! he had jas, he had marnie, and he wanted more. then he has the MC, he has their kids, but no, he changes his mind again. and say he really was six inches taller - who's to say that would be enough for him? what would stop him from constantly raising the bar and wanting more? he says he's not enough for you, but really, it's the other way around, isn't it? nothing will ever be enough for him.

[nemaliwrites]

47, 50, 54

get nemali out of the art low IMMEDIATELY

WE ARE TRYING!!! D: scaling my way up the cliff one step at a time....

47. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

the eternal question.... all these years and i'm still forever searching for the perfect drafting process. it varies from project to project, though. some, i completely rawdog and post as is - this is only when i am very lucky and they come to me fully formed and beautiful.

more often than not, this is not the case. so i'm fighting for my life and throwing a bunch of words on the page. another draft to clean it up - hopefully, by this stage, it's something i would consider readable. if not, another one, and then i throw it out into the world.

i try not to get locked into the infinite revising loop, because then i'll never finish anything. but the thing i have the most trouble with is feeling like i'm fixing wayy too much on a single pass - because of this, i always procrastinate that rewrite and end up with a bunch of messy drafts. which always seems to correspond with my art lows, because then i feel like i haven't finished anything in so long and that i have never written a single good sentence ever. but the problem is that the more passes i do of a piece, the more chance for me to overthink and scrap the entire thing.

so. that was a long way of saying. anywhere from 1-3 drafts.

50. How long is your longest fic?

ooh. longest posted is In Pursuit of the Uneatable at 68k. longest unposted.... is that Beef fic i wrote a few years ago. i think that ended at 100k.

54. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

grr.... i do like rereading my finished fics... sometimes they make me cringe and that's not so fun. but sometimes they surprise me. i especially like when there's a bit of prose that i really like but i don't think i would come up with now.

fic writer asks

[nemaliwrites]

8, 18, 24

hiii dagger hiiii :3

8. Do you prefer the beginning, middle, or end of a story?

anything but the middle. LOL i like beginnings bc that's when the idea is still all new and fresh and shiny.. before the Horrors set in.. and i like endings because it's like ok. thank god we are DONE. but the middle... i have sooo many drafts that i just stopped in the middle bc it felt like i had no idea where i was going and i realized the whole thing sucked actually.

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

return of the Chaotic Titling Process... actually no. i haven't really been using quotes in the endnotes lately... but for oneshots, it's usually always at the end. either grab a quote relating to the theme, or a word/phrase that i feel like encapsulates the piece. for multichapter fics, i need a title closer to beginning the writing process, because it helps me kind of narrow down a theme/the Point of the whole thing.

24. Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

ooh. interesting... i just really hate advice where people speak in absolutes, and it's soo obvious that they have no understanding that different people could possibly work in different ways. like 'you can't write a novel without knowing the plot beforehand', 'you should never make your characters do this', 'your dialogue should always sound like that'. whatever. fuck offff.

i especially hate this about process related advice when it feels like the person in question has never tried any process other than the one they champion. how can you say it's the best when you personally have never even tried anything else??? you are so exhausting.

fic writer asks

[nemaliwrites]

14 65 for the ask game?

hii piso!!

14. how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

ooh interesting... i don't really draw from personal experience, i don't think.. i think the biggest fear i have about emotional scenes is that they won't 'hit' right, and won't properly convey the emotion that i'm aiming for them to. this might be a copout answer, but if you think about it from a story structure point of view, then i think the build up and the fallout are both way more important than the actual emotional scene itself. the emotion itself comes from a cumulation of everything that came before, and what comes directly after - i think the scene just kind of existing in a vacuum is what could make it not hit quite as hard.

65. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project.

there's one very specific scene in the stp au that i've been thinking about for...months, at this point. i'm not really sure why - there's nothing outwardly special about it?? it's just shadybug and adrien sharing a cigarette. but i think it's, again, a cumulation of everything that came before it, in that there are a lot of callbacks to things that happened before. the intimacy of sharing something that could kill you, marinette's prior experiences with lighters, a conversation about bad habits that take up space in your life. at the end, he asks her to put the cigarette out on him. she thinks he's joking. he's really, really not.

fic writer asks