[my-2nd-account]

If I were Ilya's teammate in Boston and my gorgeous competitive Captain who gave us individual I love you's after every game and led us to win the Cup for the first time in years who also had the kindest soul and everyone on the team adored him left us out of fucking no where to move to loser ass fucking Ottawa, I would quit hockey all together and become a monk. And years later if I found out that his man's team were saying that my team only ever won against them because their Captain was sucking my Captain's dick, I would drive up to Montreal and hunt down every player in that team and invent 23 new ways to murder people.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[my-2nd-account]

"I think you can tell your parents you're gay without giving them a list of all the guys you're fucking" said in a joking manner is not a joke at all.

Because when they bring up Shane's parents and Shane says they'd be okay with him being gay but they just haven't talked about it, Ilya shrugs and lets it go.

However, when Shane adds "Sometimes I think I would've told them already" Ilya cannot let it go "Oh this is my fault?" Because Ilya knows how much Shane loves his parents. And Shane would've told them already if it wasn't Ilya. Shane who loves his parents so much is lying to them because of Ilya. Shane whose parents would be okay with him being gay is keeping it a secret because of Ilya. If it was anyone else, Yuna and David would welcome him into the family and accept him as Shane's boyfriend and love him. She would've loved you like I love you. Shane is lying to the most important people in his life because of Ilya. She would've loved you like I love you. Because his parents would be okay with him being with a man but not him being with Ilya. She would've loved you like I love you. Because his parents hate Ilya. "I think you can tell your parents you're gay without giving them a list of all the guys you're fucking" Am I just a guy you're fucking? "Anyways it doesn't really matter" And Shane abruptly stands up and Ilya's hand on Shane's leg drops and he's doing the nose thing that he does when he's uncomfortable. It doesn't really matter...

Little does Ilya know that Shane's love for him is so potent and so powerful that he's willing to lie to his parents to protect it.

[escapepodding]

Hollanov amnesia but instead of forgetting Ilya, Shane instead forgets hockey. Lack of memory also means he doesn't have context for why everyone is freaking out.

Shane: So my main source of income is gone and it will likely affect my other sources of income?

Yuna, holding his hand: Honey don't be ridiculous if you can't play because of this injury they still have to pay out to the end of your contract and we've already invested to make sure you're richer than anyone would ever need to be.

Shane: So what is the problem?

Ilya, in tears: What is in your head? What are you actually thinking about in their? You're brain is 95% hockey what is even left? How are you even still breathing???

They make Shane watch games to try and jog it back and he just looks afraid and slightly turned on. His loved ones WANT him to do that?! He's trying to read a WikiHow on hockey on his phone under the table to keep up with most conversations. He doesn't get it.

[phoebewritess]

Shane hollander is truly one of the characters of all time. He played one sport when he was like 4 years old and decided to make it his entire livelihood for the rest of his life. He met one guy when he was 18 and decided that was it. Thats all he needed. Hes made like 4 decisions in his life and if anything jeopardizes those decisions he is trying to change the trajectory of the universe with his mind. He is constantly playing 10D chess with every possible situation and life scenario (read: plotting and planning 10 years in the dark after ilya offhandedly mentions marrying someone else for a green card) and im not sure if he's winning or losing. No one is doing it like him

[dumbass-writer]

Shane Hollander is so funny to me because what do you mean the only people you’ve ever slept with is

A) ILYA FUCKING ROZANOV

and

B) ROSE FUCKING LANDRY

Like I’m so so sorry baby but fuck you for living every bisexuals dream I’m so bitter

[thebitchesterbrothers]

'Virgin Mary' as soon as Hayden loses sight of him:

[bunniope]

not my labyrinth not my minotaur

[mrkestis]

[mithartu]

i don't ship them i just think they could get ragebaited into having sex with each other

[seff-fromtheundergrowth]

hollanov soft launch where yuna posts a picture of ilya with the caption 'happy birthday to my favorite son' and the internet does NOT pick up on the soft launch of it all theyre just trying to figure out wtf shane did to piss his mom off so bad she (publicly!) picked his rival over him

[heated-rivalry-rambling-a-day]

IT’S HAPPENING, WE’RE GETTING THE WEDDING SCENE!! MY FAVORITE SCENE IN THE ENTIRE SERIES IS MAKING IT TO THE BIG SCREEN :’)

[itsbatkingcazzle]

Fans often say things like "siblings core," "they look like siblings," "they act like siblings" to make sure people don't ship two people. So it'd be funny for fans to go crazy over Luca Haas and Hollanov interactions and start labelling them fathers and son. And Luca is just seething with rage because—even though he's trying to change this—he still has the biggest crush on them and he kinda, deep down, still wants to be their controversially young bf. Like, they're supposed to be daddy not dad?!? Why is he immediately seen as their son?!? He's fucking hot?!? People could ship them?!? wtf?!? this is SO sick and fucking twisted?!?

[underworld-melon]

Manifesting a crack fic where drunk Luca starts to rant, like

I was writing reader insert fics with both of them. I made it to the MHL. I am hot. They hug me on camera. I got a KISS (on the cheek) from HOLLANDER. I did a photoshoot even. I have rpf about me. I AM GAY. I had posters of both in my room.

And they don't have the spine to ship a throuple? Write threesome? Make sexy edits? Why am I the SON? Why can't I be a SUGAR BABY? There is only a 9 year age gap between us. 9 YEARS IS NOTHING. I am hot and young and popular.

Why is there like no one shipping me with Hollanov? Why am I not the young thing they both fuck? HOLMBERG has a fic with Hollanov. HIM!! NOT ME.

Why am i always getting training to score goals and not getting training to score *****. Why is all of the mentoring PLATONIC? This is so fucking unfair.

Like, imagine being in the vicinity of your idols and everyone thinking youre looking respectfully (he isn't.)

[itsbatkingcazzle]

Fans often say things like "siblings core," "they look like siblings," "they act like siblings" to make sure people don't ship two people. So it'd be funny for fans to go crazy over Luca Haas and Hollanov interactions and start labelling them fathers and son. And Luca is just seething with rage because—even though he's trying to change this—he still has the biggest crush on them and he kinda, deep down, still wants to be their controversially young bf. Like, they're supposed to be daddy not dad?!? Why is he immediately seen as their son?!? He's fucking hot?!? People could ship them?!? wtf?!? this is SO sick and fucking twisted?!?

[suraks-sweet-tits]

Rose makes a joke one time about how no one really loves sucking dick and Shane is so confused by that sentiment he just blue screens out

[depsidase]

[not-so-goodomens]

the only way Shane manages to decompress is crawling under Ilya's shirt and rest the head on his tummy. he's soothed by the vibrations of Ilya's deep voice while he tells him about his day in Russian. sometimes he even falls asleep, especially when Ilya gently caresses his face through the fabric.