If I were Ilya's teammate in Boston and my gorgeous competitive Captain who gave us individual I love you's after every game and led us to win the Cup for the first time in years who also had the kindest soul and everyone on the team adored him left us out of fucking no where to move to loser ass fucking Ottawa, I would quit hockey all together and become a monk. And years later if I found out that his man's team were saying that my team only ever won against them because their Captain was sucking my Captain's dick, I would drive up to Montreal and hunt down every player in that team and invent 23 new ways to murder people.



















