[suraks-sweet-tits]

She would have loved you.

Fourth of July- Sufjan Stevens

[suraks-sweet-tits]

Ok but what about an au where neither of them play hockey and Ilya speaks almost no english when they meet but they still fall in love anyway? Not the childood friend aus where Ilya's english is not as good(tho I do love those) but them meeting as adults.

Like maybe they meet at the club and it's too loud in there to have a conversation anyway but they keep giving eachother looks all night and ending up making out and then going home together anyway. And they are just so addicted to each other that they keep hooking up but they both tell themselves it's not that serious because they can't even understand each other but they still manage to understand each other much better than they have a right too and they more they get to know each other the more they fall in love.

Or they just cross paths and lock eyes somewhere totally random like the park or a coffee shop(do not tell me I'm recreating skip cus its not my fault that meeting at a coffee shop is fanfic first principles and anyway neither of them would be working there because Ilya doesn't speak english and idk I just think Shane would be horrible at a hospitality job) or or or hiking and camping so its like the area around the cottage but I kinda want it to be a more public place so its more ridiculous the way they lock eyes and are immediately sucked into eachother and trying to communicate however they can. And depending on how young they are when this happens they may or may not have smart phones and google translate to help them. Because yes they were invented by then but they aren't multi-millionare hockey players. I think probably yes smart phones so there is some access to online translation stuff but they have limited data and it is limitedly effective so they still are mostly miming things out and just staring into eachothers eyes and are already half in love and they don't even know each others languages yet.

[suraks-sweet-tits]

I'm just so excited to see them smile at eachother and the way they make eachother laugh honestly. Like the CCM photoshoot was really a sign for the rest of their lives. Like they see eachother and they start smiling and no one makes them laugh like the other one and I just wanna recenter that

[hollzy-baby]

literally what was Ilya doing with "I could marry Svetlana" - like what's the best take you've seen on this because it's wild and the decision to do a little sing-songy "She would help me" what was that about?!?!?

[suraks-sweet-tits]

Personally I think he was being kinda a bitch and pulling Shane’s pigtails to try to get a reaction. I get why other people don’t think that cus it’s the cottage so they are being nicer and more honest with eachother but by that point Shane had confessed a lot less than Ilya(because even though Shane’s inner monologue is just Ilya Ilya Ilya all the time a lot of that hadn’t come out yet) so I do think Ilya was mostly trying to gauge his reaction to it. (This is the same way I read the tuna melt scene where he’s asking Shane if he likes girls and talking about them).

Also because most of the time paths to permanent residency which then lead to citizenship are based on how long you’ve been there for a specific visa. So Ilya should have been in the country long enough on his work visa to already apply for permanent residency and then citizenship(I think so anyway. I could be wrong cus I’m thinking about normal visas and I don’t know what the athletes are on) whereas if he switched to a spousal visa it would take longer. I don’t know though because that might just be how Rachel chose to write it cus it’s a common misconception.

Plus it would be for American citizenship and he had said before this that he would rather have Canadian citizenship.(Though I also think that he was basically doing the same thing in that conversation that he is doing here where he was trying to get Shane’s reaction to things he’s saying without fully admitting anything. Because in that previous scene he was talking about it like it’s only because of political factors but I am of the very firm belief that he only wants to be Canadian because Shane is Canadian and if that wasn’t a factor then he would want American citizenship instead.)

I think the biggest rage baiter in the league was using the skills he had at his disposal to try to figure out what Shane wants from him after Shane took him too serious when he said he wanted to move to Canada(a country he has only spent time in for work before this week based on what we know) for the passport and that’s it. And you’re so right cus the sing song makes it more suss.

[suraks-sweet-tits]

I might be too serious about boymoming Shane cus why am I reading an age-gap au where Shane is already retired but I am so taken out of it and fixated on the fact it said Shane won three cups with Montreal(who he played with his whole career in this). Like bitch please????!!! It is very much not that deep but Shane only won three cups with Montreal in the books cus he wasn't even thirty yet and would have definitely won more in the later half of his career even if he didn't get to be teamates with Ilya. Not to mention if his biggest competition wasn't part of the equation(cus he was a baby then in this timeline) he might have gotten more even before 2021. Im tryna ignore it but this is serious to me.

[suraks-sweet-tits]

Ilya Hollander-Rozanov bringing back the wealthy being patrons of the arts when he discovers he can use his millions to get people to paint big ass oil paintings of his husband

[suraks-sweet-tits]

@offonaherosjourney I am so ridiculously in love with you and with this whole vision.

(Also I so agree on the tasteful thing cus you're so right- they have now signed legal documents that says Shane's ass belongs to him now("that's not what a marriage certificate is, Ilyusha") and no one else should be spending enough time looking at it that they can paint it.

[suraks-sweet-tits]

Ilya Hollander-Rozanov bringing back the wealthy being patrons of the arts when he discovers he can use his millions to get people to paint big ass oil paintings of his husband

[suraks-sweet-tits]

ok but what if the only genre of music Shane knows really well is showtunes? We don’t know that he doesn’t cus maybe it just has never come up and Ilya learns this about him after they are married and been together for years and is so confused

[suraks-sweet-tits]

She would have loved you.

Fourth of July- Sufjan Stevens

[suraks-sweet-tits]

I can't believe Taylor Swift is such a Scott Hunter fan that she got married where the historic stanely cup skip kiss took place

[suraks-sweet-tits]

I've been pondering if the outing scandal and their subsequent marriage is a big enough deal that Shane and Ilya are just famous now? Like not hockey famous. Not even Shane Hollander level hockey famous. But just outside of Canada, legitimately famous.

Anyway assuming that is what happened I am having fun thinking of the saw trap that is putting Shane in where he doesn't have anything to hide anymore so he doesn't have any reason to be anxious but it's not like he really likes fame and now strangers are taking pictures of him everywhere(and stopping him for photos when they don’t remember his name which confuses the hell out of him) instead of just yelling at him about the game last night the way they did in Montreal.

Meanwhile Ilya thinks it’s hilarious. And Shane’s like “Ilyaaaa, these people don’t even care about hockey!” And Ilya’s just like “oh no! Everyone is a fan of my ability to land the most beautiful man in the world as my husband. So sad for me. So hard.”

[suraks-sweet-tits]

Now the real question, that only me and Ilya Hollander-Rozanov care about the answer to, is are they now more mainstream famous than Scott Hunter?

Cus they have been more hockey famous than him for years but after the stanley cup kiss Hunter would be more famous with people who don't follow hockey.

[suraks-sweet-tits]

I've been pondering if the outing scandal and their subsequent marriage is a big enough deal that Shane and Ilya are just famous now? Like not hockey famous. Not even Shane Hollander level hockey famous. But just outside of Canada, legitimately famous.

Anyway assuming that is what happened I am having fun thinking of the saw trap that is putting Shane in where he doesn't have anything to hide anymore so he doesn't have any reason to be anxious but it's not like he really likes fame and now strangers are taking pictures of him everywhere(and stopping him for photos when they don’t remember his name which confuses the hell out of him) instead of just yelling at him about the game last night the way they did in Montreal.

Meanwhile Ilya thinks it’s hilarious. And Shane’s like “Ilyaaaa, these people don’t even care about hockey!” And Ilya’s just like “oh no! Everyone is a fan of my ability to land the most beautiful man in the world as my husband. So sad for me. So hard.”

[suraks-sweet-tits]

My toxic trait is I know its all kumbaya on the centaurs but I like it when Shane and Ilya are still emotionally repressed hockey men who, at the end of the day, don't like anyone except the other to know they have emotions

[suraks-sweet-tits]

It is very special to me that Hollanov both had a teenage crisis about wanting to fuck the other in a hotel gym(and yes both of them because Ilya almost "embarrassed himself" and knew his obsession with his "archrival" was a problem) and now they share a house that has a gym they can fuck eachother in whenever they feel like it

[suraks-sweet-tits]

Marriage equality was passed in the USA on June 26th 2015. So I was thinking about how Ilya would have felt watching all the celebrations for that happening when he was already in love with Shane and they were so far apart from eachother(it wouldn't have affected the laws in Boston where it was already legal but alot of places where it was already legal were celebrating anyway). Then I remembered that he might have already been in Russia by then. But either way he's watching all these people celebrate queer love from a distance(either emotional or a very strict physical boundary of friendly Russia) after he just watched Shane from a distance win his first cup probably a little over a week before.

[suraks-sweet-tits]

I know Anya is a medium sized dog but I just think her being bigger is funny because then Shane will have two big dogs that think they are small dogs and try to fit on his lap

[suraks-sweet-tits]

I want a sugar baby au where Shane is the one with money because I don't think he would understand what's happening. I don't need them to have an age gap or anything and I think it's funnier if they don't cus it would just confuse Ilya more. The reason I need it so badly and find it so compelling is I think in most cases if Ilya is the sugar Daddy he would understand that as an/the dynamic of their relationship and go into it with his eyes open(and actually it would cause problems in itself because he wouldn't think Shane loved him for him and he would probably think that Shane just has affection for him because of what he can do for him but he loves Shane so much that if that is the best he can get he will take it and thinks thats fair. Which also goes hard so if anyone has any recommendations with that kinda miscommunication in them please hit me up.) Whereas I don't think(depending on the circumstances) Shane would automatically understand it that way. He would just immediately wanna do everything in his power to make Ilya's life easier in any way(which is my one of my fav characteristics for myshane anyway regardless of circumstances) and money is just one of those things. And even if they are not dating or anything to eachother Shane has more money than he can ever use and he doesn't give a fuck about it so obviously he's gonna try to fix the life of this perfect guy he just met. Meanwhile broke Ilya is just confused as fuck by what this guys deal is and probably trusts it alot less and is more closed off initially than he would be if Shane just behaved like he was trying to use him for sex because he knows what rich men want from people with his looks they buy things for so why is this guy pretending it doesn't matter?

And I wanna emphasise that Shane is not naive or stupid so when he has money I know he would know how people take advantage of that and pretend to want him for it(the book doesn't explicitly talk about gold diggers or anything but there was the comment of women just like that he's famous so they are less critical of his performance). BUT Ilya is just an automatic exception to so many things with him it just never occurs to him that it would apply because he wants Ilya to have his money whether Ilya wants him or not.(Obviously he also want's Ilya to want him but that's a totally separate thing)

Anyway I'm probably too lazy to write it but do y'all see the vibe? I'm just pretty convinced this is how it would go down.