Spyglass @nemorein - Tumblr Blog

me: i can't do anything... i don't know what my life is anymore...

the jacob wysocki tulpa manifesting inside my brain:

you have to stay alive. you're going to be such a beautiful middle aged freak. young freaks will see you in the street and know that things can be okay.

iwritebigbellies-blog

I was 22 when I got my first bookstore job, and at the time my entire experience of "old people" was my grandparents, none of whom had been particularly healthy, and none of whom I was close with. To my young eyes, all they did was sit around and be old. That was life after 60.

The owner of the bookstore was this grand old dame of 76 who had been in the business for 40 years. She'd had three kids with a husband who was extremely gay, and as soon as those were old enough, they split up. She read on an epic scale, was an avid follower of the opera, sang in several choirs, and scheduled arts programming for a private club. She had gentleman callers (so they styled themselves) at the store continuously the entire fifteen years I worked there--yah, into her NINETIES. She never took up seriously with any of them, because they couldn't keep up. She was impeccably dressed and put together every single day of her life, drank regularly, and said they would pry her estrogen supplements out of her cold, dead hands. She had a gang of elderly single lady friends, though, and they went out every night of the week. They knew everything and everyone, collectively. She got her first smart phone in her mid-80s and became extremely Online. I bet she's on Tumblr now. She is 96.

This blew my mind. Life didn't have to be over...ever.

We worship youth in our culture. Only the young have futures, and the aged exist to enable the lives of the young. We act as if by the time you hit forty, you've had your chance. You are now expected to step aside and scede life to others.

FUCK THAT. I have a lot of life ahead of me. I have places to go and books to read and people to fuck and food to eat and music to dance to and emotions to feel and nazis to punch and stories to tell and hearts to break and ventures to capitalize and empires to conquer. I am going to be doing this for the next fifty years, minimum.

Life has so much in it. Do it all, forever.

birf

the People pleaser in me setting exactly one☝️ boundary

birf

That was the wrONG GIF

birf

Actually no it still works it’s pretty accurate

#sultan's game #nawfal #sketches #sultansgame

#my art #sultan's game #sultansgame #arzu #nawfal #黑旗与白帆

smokeonshadows

...I can't be the only one who ships Katie with her beast

chanelle-lize

Man, the beautiful hopelessness of this moment.

I think that’s what had me most horrified this episode. Not what Katie was doing but her near-gleeful resignation to it. It felt like a type of self-loathing that craves the thrill of being the worst you can be while somehow still getting worse. Still getting closer to finally reaping the well-earned consequences of being such an irredeemably awful human being.

I think she’s so quick to kick the concept of personhood because being able to stand up and walk away from a fatally stupid choice only to become the worst version of a terrible new thing gives her the rare opportunity to voice all her negative self-talk without anyone arguing against it.

She knows the further she walks down this path, the closer she gets to oblivion. Nothing that should have taken her out has successfully done so so far, and it won’t unless she makes it so. The sun will never be her end if she never becomes a full Kindred. She can be killed through violence, but no one seeks to harm her, and no one will unless she keeps kicking hornets’ nests. Even if she keeps dodging bullet after bullet, eventually, she’ll fly away. The Beast will take over and she’ll finally be gone forever.

The one thing she resisted in this episode was routine. All she wants is some sort of progression. She can’t stand a second more of the same. She’s been picking at a loose thread dangling from the corner of the knit of her life long before she was ever turned, and now she finally gets to grab that thread and pull, finally able to revel in the satisfaction of watching it all unravel, knowing that the destruction she calls upon herself is one she’s deserved for a long time.

Katie is committing the slowest of suicides, and I think she genuinely hopes that, in the end, it’ll be her Beast who finally takes her out.

quiddie

Here is what they don’t tell you: Icarus laughed as he fell. Threw his head back and yelled into the winds, arms spread wide, teeth bared to the world. (There is a bitter triumph in crashing when you should be soaring.) The wax scorched his skin, ran blazing trails down his back, his thighs, his ankles, his feet. Feathers floated like prayers past his fingers, close enough to snatch back. Death breathed burning kisses against his shoulders, where the wings joined the harness. The sun painted everything in shades of gold. (There is a certain beauty in setting the world on fire and watching from the centre of the flames.)

Fiona

#sultan's game #my art #nawfal #arzu #sultansgame

#sultan's game #my art #the last time I drew was (checks file) 11 months ago?#less than a year yay #arzu #nawfal #sultansgame #这是盟友线他们在演

mousegirlheart

if your disability makes it difficult for you to leave bed to brush your teeth, Colgate makes a product called Wisps that are single use, no-rinse toothbrushes you can use while in bed. They have a bead on the brush that dissolves and acts as toothpaste and can be swallowed. The other end has a toothpick.

thatchronicfeeling

[Image Description: Toothbrush that has a blue gel bead at the centre of the brush part. End ID.] Reblogging in case this is helpful for anyone. Also sharing a post I made a while ago about dental hygiene when you're chronically fatigued. (including some awesome tips from @energysavingselfcare) I wrote that post when I used to brush teeth sitting down; I've now been brushing my teeth in bed for several years. I can only brush my teeth once a day (using an electric toothbrush) and use a higher fluoride toothpaste, prescribed by my dentist.

pentimint

from How To Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis (quoting Imani Barbarin)

kaijutegu

Wisps are great! The bristles are quite soft and have a different texture than regular toothbrushes, so they may also be helpful for you if you have sensory issues surrounding toothbrushes.

galacticjonah

"The mountains and peaks shaped by the loving hands of the All-Hammer. What a world he made…"

Brennan said this story was meant to be a love letter to Matt and it truly feels like it. Here is my little ode to Exandria and its maker.

10 years of Critical Role, 10 years of this story, shaped by many loving hands. What a journey it all is -- and I'm so happy to be a small part of it to this day!

Also Divergence truly destroyed me. The hope, the struggle, the power of the many in the face of evil. The meaning in creation, creativity, and hard work... a a a aa

#critical role spoilers #critical role #exu divergence #garen hearthheart #the all-hammer #matt mercer #brennan lee mulligan

fartcompilation

baron on its tippy toes

#fantasy high #riz gukgak #baron from the baronies #it hurts and I love it

Me, halfway through Moonweaver's exposition and 3 minutes too late: "What is everything that you wish for me to know about this situation"!! That's the question she was fishing for! Nia, girl, I feel you.

#critical role #exu divergence #exu spoilers #rei'nia saph #Celia Rose Gooding #the moonweaver

Jasmine's rolls have been so poetic. Stacking up to 5 exhaustion and dodging death only by an earlier selfish choice (fully reframing that as the tried-and-true instinct of Self Preservation). Trying to not slit a throat and immediately gets Brutal repercussions—the gang boss and her bodyguard acting like the mother and child that they were almost got her killed, and then got her to live. Nat-20-insighting fucking ASMODEUS when he's being way too cocky (seems to be a habit of his lol) and No One tricks a seasoned street rat on something important. Jasmine set up her story beautifully and her dices truly obliged. Fiedra to me seemed like someone who has a very big heart, and internally had to balance that out to deal with the situation she was in, by being extra convincingly ruthless with pragmatism. We often don't know why we feel a certain way, or by extension do a certain thing. She hatched an egg which would give her a helpless infant to take care of for years, while she herself was a street kid? What do you mean, child? Was she in Any condition to raise a child?? The tender thing was not something she was supposed to do; therefore, that Must not be what she was doing. Dragonborns make for great bodyguards, it was good investment, that's why. Crokas would go help children in need without being asked, at harm to himself. Fiedra, who ostensibly cares only about herself and her own, was so proud of him and helped to reassure Celeste. Crokas learned it Somewhere. Luckily he didn't have to justify it to himself. In the long run this justification machine is obviously Extremely Hurtful. But… I'm so glad that whatever shaky hazardous scaffolding she scrambled to set up in her brain carried her through this far, and that she's in a place to disassemble them now.

#critical role #exu divergence #exu spoilers #fiedra marrow #jasmine don #crokas