hilda furacão
hilda: scorpio
malthus: pisces
father nelson: taurus
maria: also taurus
lenore: libra
thin waist: leo
roberto: aquarius
divinea: virgo
aramel: libra
gabrielle: gemini

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@neonzodiac
hilda furacão
hilda: scorpio
malthus: pisces
father nelson: taurus
maria: also taurus
lenore: libra
thin waist: leo
roberto: aquarius
divinea: virgo
aramel: libra
gabrielle: gemini
what i think the signs in crazy ex girlfriend are
rebecca: 7h pisces sun, 12h leo moon, leo/virgo cusp rising
josh: 5h taurus sun, 11h libra moon, sagittarius rising
paula: 8h scorpio sun, 7h virgo moon, pisces rising
darryl: 11h cancer sun, 11h cancer moon, leo rising
valencia: 10h leo sun, 2h scorpio moon, libra rising
greg: 12h sagittarius sun, 11h scorpio moon, capricorn rising
heather: 8h gemini sun, 3h aquarius moon, sagittarius rising
nathaniel: 2h capricorn sun, 4h pisces moon, scorpio rising
The signs as lines in John Mulaney’s “horse in a hospital” monologue
Aries: if you even fucking look at the hospital I’m gonna stomp on you with my hooves. I dare you to do it, I want you to do it.
Taurus: you go to brunch with people and they’re like “there shouldn’t be a horse in the hospital!” And it’s like “we’re well past that!”
Gemini: and then for a second it seemed like we’d survive the horse, and then 5000 miles away, a hippo was like “I have a nuclear bomb!”
Cancer: I think eventually everything’s gonna be okay, but I have no idea what’s gonna happen next! And neither do you, and neither do your parents!
Leo: I’m gonna run towards the baby incubators and I’m gonna smash ‘em with my hooves, I got nice hooves and a long tail, I’m a horse!
Virgo: there are no experts! They try to find experts on the news; they’re like “we’re joined by a man who once saw a bird in the airport” and we’re like “get out of here with that shit!”
Libra: and we’re all just like “okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay” like poor Andy Cohen at those goddamn reunions.
Scorpio: I never really got into politics…..never talked about em much………….but then last November, the craziest thing happened!
Sagittarius: you think you’re fucking crazy? I’m a fucking hippopotamus! I live in a fucking lake of mud, I’m fucking crazy!
Capricorn: and we thought maybe for a second the horse-catcher would catch the horse, and then the horse was like “I have fired the horse-catcher.”
Aquarius: the updates, they’re not always bad. Sometimes they’re just odd. “The horse used the elevator?… I didn’t know he knew how to do that…”
Pisces: the creepiest days are when you don’t hear from the horse at all
the signs as adventure time ships
aries and leo: finn and flame princess
taurus and libra: jake and lady rainicorn
gemini and cancer: mr. pig and tree trunks
virgo and pisces: betty and simon
scorpio and capricorn: lemongrab and lemongrab
sagittarius and aquarius: marceline and princess bubblegum
the signs as star wars characters
aries: finn
taurus: tr-8r
gemini: palpatine
cancer: luke
leo: chewie
virgo: rey
libra: padame
scorpio: anakin
sagittarius: han solo
capricorn: kylo ren
aquarius:leia
pisces: maz kanata
the signs as weird satanist guy things
aries: stop asking me that. leave me alone!
taurus: i’m just excited to see my lord and savior baphomet represented in such glorious italian stone
gemini: i didn't take your mail, mrs. pemberton. leave me alone!
cancer: how could that light possibly reach me with the thick clouds of indecency that surround my poor soul
leo: notice me, senpai, notice me
virgo: i do hope he gazes upon me, and my allegiance is recognized
libra: a thousand judging eyes staring back from the cover of a stolen victoria secrets catalogue
scorpio: a cloak of shame covers this man and only supreme light will wash my body clean
sagittarius: a tormented hiker
capricorn: looking desperately for that peak, to rescue him from the valley of depraved habitual self pleasuring but again i find nothing
aquarius: i don't know. satan's pretty cool
pisces: part of me wishes that angel statue would come to life, and king baphomet would rise and two eternal juggernauts would do battle right here in the middle of the city.
stronger than you
i am their fury: aries, cancer, scorpio, sagittarius
i am their patience: taurus, libra, capricorn, pisces
i am a conversation: gemini, leo, virgo, aquarius
The signs as people you should vote for in the 2016 Presidential elections
Aries: Bernie Sanders
Taurus: Bernie Sanders
Gemini: Bernie Sanders
Cancer: Bernie Sanders
Leo: Bernie Sanders
Virgo: Bernie Sanders
Libra: Bernie Sanders
Scorpio: Bernie Sanders
Sagittarius: Bernie Sanders
Capricorn: Bernie Sanders
Aquarius: Bernie Sanders
Pisces: Bernie Sanders
Thought I’d share this great find :) It’s a quick chart to check your romantic Venus sign compatibility!
I found it on Cafe Astrology
All credit goes to them! Their main link is: http://cafeastrology.com/
signs you should fight mtl
aquarius
what minor at character are you?
aries: flame princess
taurus: starchy
gemini: gunter
cancer: ice king
leo: lsp
virgo: betty
libra: prismo
scorpio: tiffany
sagittarius: billy
capricorn: lemongrab
aquarius: magic man
pisces: simon
Scorpio, Taurus, Virgo
tru
How would a leo sun aries moon(f) work with a scorpio sun libra moon(m)?
it’s not traditional but it could be an incredibly interesting pairing..
which sign is best equipped or most likely to date older
none of them. dating someone signifgantly older/ younger is almost never a good idea
Would a leo (f) work with a cancer (m)?
read my faq
Can you tell me the compatibility of a female cancer and a male Aquarius? Thanks!
not unless you give me moon signs and this is @ everyone in my mailbox
Is there a difference in personality for males and females of the same sign?
only in response to societal conditioning