Tied up in Hotarubi, Part One
First time writing on here (and fanfic), so my formatting will be wobbly at best.
Synopsis: you realize that you don't have a lot of time left and want to have sexual experiences. After some thinking it over, you decide which ghoul you feel most comfortable with. Part one ends with him introducing you to the idea of bondage, and you setting a date.
Contents and possible triggers: AFAB reader, slight control and praise kink, dubcon if you squint, oral, fingering, and a bit of fluff to top it off.
AN: there's a fan theory that Subaru is yandere coded, and into bondage in secret, etc. I'm using that version of him, and we're gonna pretend that he has a strong control over his stigma in certain instances.
AN 2: Part one is a fair amount of exposition and a slow burn to start, so you can jump sections to get to the spicy stuff if you don't want to read the context/lead up
AN 3: It's a lot longer than I planned. Word count is 4k+
AN 3.5: This is far too long for a single post, so I'm going to write a part 2. That's where the bondage part starts, if you don't want to read the tame(r) stuff.
Minors go away! Shoo! Go on, git!
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Another sharp slap rippled across your ass as you cried out in surprise and pain. Subaru trailed his fingers over your stinging skin and whispered, "Your cries are a symphony," against your neck, giving you goosebumps and making your legs tremble. Well, as much as they could while tied like this.
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It had been a rotten day, and returning to your dorm was like returning to a personal sanctuary. You had just finished another fruitless mission, on which you took quite a beating in spite of the ghouls' best efforts, got screamed at by Romeo for reasons that you still hadn't figured out, Jin was especially demanding and condescending, and it was all topped off with another bleak health check full of Yuri's caustic commentary. As usual, Jiro didn't say much, but at least he was gentle with you whenever he had to touch you and tried to decode what Yuri said.
You threw your pack on your bed and kicked your shoes off to who knows where. You need a bath, try to soak some of the day away. You drew a full bath, water as hot as you could stand, and added your favorite salts and bubbles. After haphazardly discarding your clothes around the bathroom (those can be a problem for later), you slipped into the nearly scorching water. You tried to relax and let your mind wander to more pleasant trains of thought, but it kept coming back to the dreary future ahead of you.
You slipped further into the water, as though trying to wash the thoughts from your mind, but nothing was helping. Despite your best efforts, your mind kept drifting back to the ghouls. Given the amount of time you spend with them, it makes sense, but being around them always reminds you that, courtesy of your dwindling time, you won't have time to have a real relationship. It was never a priority for you before now, but having only had appreciable physical contact with them made you ache to know more than hand holding and occasionally being carried or tossed over shoulders.
What is kissing like? What is it like to touch another person? To be touched by another person? You had touched yourself plenty of times, but surely it would be more exciting with another person. While you were rolling these thoughts around, your hand found your way down your belly and began slowly rubbing and caressing your clit. You pictured the ghouls- imagining how they would feel, and how they would touch you.
Each ghoul crossed your mind as you wondered who would fuck you best as you continued rubbing your clit with increased intensity. Your breathing became harder as your legs started to shake. You felt the intensity increasing to an almost intolerable level, but eased off just a little to try to hold at that tipping point. You cum so much harder when you play with yourself this way, and you desperately needed the extra release. You slipped your fingers inside and started slipping them in and out, using the heel of your hand to continue teasing your clit. Without warning, the coil inside your core snapped, sending you tumbling into an almost violent orgasm. Your mind went blank as your body shook while you finger fucked yourself through it.
Once your body had calmed and recovered from cumming so hard, your mind lazily drifted around. At first, you didn't have any deep thoughts- tea you liked, some light chores you needed to deal with, what pajamas you want to wear to bed- but then a deeper thought began to crystalize. You might not have time for a real relationship, but..... you can still experience the physical side of a relationship, right? There's nothing saying you can't have a one night stand, or maybe even a fuck buddy in the time you have left.
But who? Your mind once again wandered through the different houses and each of the ghouls. You feel safe with several of them, but would they even be willing? Would it be too weird to work with them afterward? Jiro has always been nice, in his own awkward way, and has always been gentle with you.... but he's also one of your doctors. Is that an ethical problem? Would he even know how, what with his memory loss? Alan seems almost terrified of touching you, even accidentally, so that won't work. You weighed the personality of each man, and how likely they would probably be to agree to it. Finally, you settled on someone.
He's very shy, and his stigma might be a problem, but he's also always been so gentle and sensitive with you. The idea will probably embarrass him, so it might take him a little time to become comfortable with the idea, but if you wanted to try this with anyone, it's him.
You got out of the bath and tried to decide how to approach the conversation while drying off. You obviously couldn't just bluntly say something like, "Hi, Subaru! I've been thinking about a lot of things lately, and I'd really like to be fuck buddies with you!" He's probably faint cold. Maybe ask him to talk over tea, and make sure that he knows it's a private matter? The last thing you wanted was for someone else to overhear you. You finally choose your words carefully and send the text.
"Hey, Subaru! Do you have some time to hang out? I have something I want to talk to you about. It's kinda private though, so can we make sure that no one else is around?"
"Hello, yn. Is everything ok? I have some free time tomorrow afternoon if it can wait that long."
"Oh, everything is ok! I just want to see what you think about something, and I feel weird talking about it over text."
"Oh good. I was afraid I'd upset you. I'll see you tomorrow afternoon then."
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Your legs felt like lead jelly as you approached Hotarubi. How is he going to react to this? Can you handle the embarrassment if he turns you down? As you catastrophized over the possible outcomes, you failed to notice the figure approaching from behind. An arm suddenly wrapped around your shoulders and pulled you under an umbrella, giving you a start.
"Hello, Princess! What brings you all the way out here?"
"Oh! Haku! You scared me!" you said as you put your hand over your pounding heart. "I had something I wanted to talk with Subaru about, so I thought I'd come by."
"He mentioned something about having someone over for a private meeting, but he didn't say it was you. Is it serious?" he asked in a serious tone, but with a small mischievous smile.
"It's nothing bad, just something I want his opinion on."
"Okay, okay. Let me walk you to the tea room then."
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"Thanks, Haku. I'll see you later."
You knocked quietly on the tea room door, betraying your nervousness. "Come in." Subaru's soft voice drifted from the room like a delicate wisp of incense smoke. Gently sliding the fragile paper door open, you cautiously stepped inside the room. Subaru was seated at the table, preparing a deliciously fragrant tea, having already set a few peach toned cakes out on a ornately painted little plate. He normally seems so much more.... timid.... but he seems almost confident today. You don't really have the time to wonder what is different before he invites you to sit and places an equally ornate tea cup in front of you.
"H-hi Subaru! How are you? This tea smells wonderfulwhatisitthecake-"
Subaru held his hand up, stopping you in the middle of your word spewing.
"You're nervous, yn. Take a sip of your tea and take a few breaths. It's an Earl Grey with peach, and the cakes are peach sponge." You did as instructed, feeling your heart rate slow slightly. "What did you want to talk about? I told Haku that I had a private meeting, so he won't stop by until I text him that it's done."
"Uhm, well, i-it's a... a... little e-embarrassing." You felt your hands start shaking as your face grew hot and started sweating. "I've, uhm, never had a.... um, well..... I've never had a boyfriend." You nearly whispered the last part, unable to lift your face or look at Subaru. You were nearly in tears, afraid of how he might respond.
He gasped slightly at the last part and was silent for a bit. "Never?" he asked, voice more gentle than usual.
"No, never," you whispered shakily.
"Is that what you wanted to talk about?"
"Are you here to ask me to be your boyfriend?" he asked in the most delicate voice you've ever heard from him.
"Sort of?" You still couldn't bring yourself to raise your face to look at him, but you could still feel his eyes on you. You heard fabric shifting and the sound of him walking around the table to sit beside you. "Yn, what is it that you want? You said it was private, and you mentioned not having a boyfriend, but I don't want to assume anything." He lightly, carefully placed a hand on your knee as he waited for you to speak. That touch shot through your body like lightning and made your core tremble. You already felt yourself getting wet at just that. You only hoped that he couldn't tell.
Emboldened by his touch, you started. "W-well, I don't have a lot of time left, so I know that there isn't really time for an actual full relationship, but....... I'm curious about the physical side..." as you trailed off on the end of the last sentence, Subaru squeezed your leg slightly before taking the tea cup from your shaking, sweating hands. He slipped his hands around yours, rubbing the back of your fingers with his thumb.
"Are you asking for a sexual relationship?"
You balked at how forward he was. Only the night prior you had decided to avoid being blunt for the sake of not embarrassing him, and yet here he was, saying the exact things you thought you couldn't Where was this confidence coming from? Was he feeling more comfortable being so..... open since he knew that you two were completely alone?
Your eyes flicked up for only a second, just long enough to see that his gaze is completely fixed on you, a faint blush on his cheeks. You felt your face redden further as you started sweating again. You had to be the color of a beet by now. "Mhm," you murmured to the floor. He took one hand from yours and trailed it up your arm, over your shoulder, up your neck, and finally resting it on your cheek. His touch set fire through your body while also giving you goosebumps. He turned your face upward toward him, but you still couldn't raise your eyes. You felt him move toward you, almost close enough to kiss you before he leaned in and breathily whispered in your ear:
You squeezed his hand with your own trembling hands and shook your head. "I can't," was all you managed to get out before you were in tears from your embarrassment.
"Yn, relax. I'm interested in what you've proposed, but we can't do it if you can't even look at me. I need to know what you want to do, what you like, your limits. Look at me," he whispered against your neck before lightly kissing and licking the soft skin just below your ear. He caressed your cheek and rubbed his thumb across your lower lip. You gasped and gripped one hand, and, leaning into his kiss, instinctively brought the other up to run your fingers through his hair.
"There you go. Relax and tell me what you like. I want to give it to you."
"I don't really know," you moaned, "I've never done anything before."
He hummed at your response, kissing his way back up your neck. He moved his thumb from your lip and brushed his lips over yours. Every nerve in your body was on fire, your brain a fog of heat and arousal, and you completely melted as he deepened the kiss and settled his hand on the back of your neck. Through the fog, you were so wet that you were sure it was soaking though your panties, and you were just praying that it wasn't getting on the mats on the floor.
He broke the kiss just long enough to whisper on your lips, "Tell me if you want to stop."
You could only moan your affirmation, as he immediately pressed his lips back onto yours, the kiss getting deeper and more heated. You hadn't stopped shaking since you arrived, but this wasn't the fearful quiver you arrived with- it was now twisted with lust- the same lust that you had no real, focused outlet for in your dorm. He had only kissed your face and neck, and you already felt like you were going to explode.
"Here, lie down," he said, turning you from the table. He pushed your thighs apart with more force than he had been using and settled between them, laying his body on yours. He returned to kissing your neck, but now he was lightly biting and sucking as well. He used one arm to prop himself up slightly, and starting roaming over your body with his free hand. He began with holding your waist and rubbing the parts of your belly that he could reach, before traveling up your torso and settling on your breast. You moaned, "So......good," as he rubbed and squeezed his palm over it. That moan turned into a squeak when he squeezed, almost pinched, your nipple. You heard a dark sound from him that almost sounded like a chuckle, but it was too brief to be sure.
He sat up and started unbuttoning your shirt, exposing your pretty lace bra and your hard nipples behind it. "Beautiful," he said, a lustful tone entering his voice. "But let's get rid of this," he muttered and he lifted you enough to slide your shirt off and unhook your bra, sliding it off as he laid you back down. "Better," he said in a shuddering whisper.
The cool air was startling against your burning skin, but it was so welcome. You barely had time to enjoy the relief before Subaru began kissing your newly exposed skin, reigniting the flames throughout your body. He resumed squeezing your breast, holding your nipple between two fingers. Each squeeze sent a bolt of quivering pulses directly to your pussy, drawing little moans from you each time. A loud moan was ripped from your throat when he licked your nipple and sucked on it. You were so painfully aroused that you couldn't stand it, and began rocking your hips against his as much as you could. He was a little too far away to really reach, but the sensation of grinding on him was the only thing keeping you sane.
He pulled his lips away from your swollen nipple and brought his face to yours. He kissed you hard, greedily, and in a gravelly moan, told you to look at him. You met his eyes and were unnerved to see something dark and feral in his eyes. Calm, gentle Subaru had been replacing with a lustful creature you barely recognized.
"Good girl. I want to hear you moan more, though," he growled while running his fingers down from your breasts, and onto your outer thigh. He started to glide his fingers up inward toward your desperately aching pussy. He ran his fingers over your sopping wet underwear for only a second before pushing them aside and burying two fingers in your trembling cunt. You tried to stifle the loud moan that nearly escaped you, but he chided you, "I told you I want to hear you moan," pumping his fingers in and out, hitting spots you hadn't discovered on your own. He used his thumb to rub your clit while he viciously finger fucked you. You were already nearing the breaking point, and he could tell. He slowed slightly, keeping you from cumming just yet.
"Tell me how much you want it. I'm not going to let you cum until you've asked for it."
You were already so far past the point of shyness that you didn't hesitate.
"Please let me cum! I need it! Please!"
"Good girl," he laughed darkly and pushed you over the edge. Your vision went white, every nerve, cell, and neuron pulsed with electricity as he kept going. Your pussy throbbed with each pump, your clit send waves of burning pleasure through your core. Your legs shook and your back arched. Through all of it, he kept pumping his fingers in and out relentlessly. He wasn't done with you just yet.
"You've been so good, but I think you need more."
Without warning, he pulled his fingers out and yanked your underwear off, discarding them someplace you couldn't see. He listed you as though you were weightless and put you on the table. "Suba-?"
"Lie down near the edge."
Confused, you did as instructed. You felt his hands firmly push your legs apart, and he began kissing and biting your inner thighs. He slipped his fingers back in, strokes slower now, but rubbing all the right spots. You knew you were going to cum again if he kept doing it, especially if he starts rubbing your clit again. You reached toward him, tangling your fingers in his hair and holding the wrist of his free hand. "S-Subaru," you gasped, "I'm gonna.... again."
He slowed down to the point of nearly stopping, but kept curling his fingers against your sweet spot. He bit high on your inner thigh one last time before swiping his tongue over your swollen, throbbing clit. You screamed. You couldn't help it. It was too much to handle. Subaru just hummed a pleased sound against your pussy as he began flicking his tongue over your clit, teasing you. The hand you had on his arm tightened as hard as you could grip, while your other tangled further in his hair, pulling him closer. The hold you had on him was the only thing holding you in reality at this point.
"Your moans and screams are music to my ears."
With that, he firmly curled and rolled his tongue over your clit. Each roll and curl shot fireworks in your core. You didn't know how much more you could take. You were a trembling, sweating, moaning, throbbing mess, but Subaru seemed like he was nowhere near done with you.
"Subaru, please. I...I..I can't...I need-" your words were cut off by him sucking you and sliding his fingers slowly in and out.
The vibrations from his questioning hum were almost too much. Your back arched and you started grinding on his face, but he took his free hand from your grasp and wrapped it over your belly, effectively pinning you in place. "Mm mm," he scolded you before drawing circles around your clit with his tongue. Your words were completely failing you. You needed to ask him to let you cum, but everything was coming out in stutters, gasps, and nonsensical partial sentences.
"Please!" you gasped in a ragged breath, "Please let me!"
He broke just long enough to call you a good girl before absolutely burying his fingers deep in your and making out with your pussy. You screamed as another orgasm ripped through your body, fueled by the relentless thrusting of his fingers and rolling and flicking his tongue over your overstimulated clit. Your entire body was exhausted and felt like lead. Your mind was blank, aside from the awareness the Subaru had moved away from between your legs.
"Subaru?" you called, barely above a whisper.
"Right here," he said gently, lying on the table beside you and wrapping his arm around you. "How do you feel?"
"I'm... tired. That was a lot."
"Mhmm. What about you though?"
"Later. This is about you," he whispered into your ear, sounding almost loving. "I should probably clean you up a bit before you leave, though. We've made a bit of a mess."
"Mm?" you questioned through a yawn.
"Rest a bit. I'll take care of you," kissing your forehead before he got back up.
Subaru left the room, leaving you lying on the table. He returned a few minutes later with a bowl of water and a couple of towels. He wet a towel slightly and tenderly swiped it over your skin. "I can't get you completely clean, but it's a start." He did this over your entire body, even sitting you up to wash your back. He was especially gentle washing your inner thighs and pussy, being careful to not rub too hard.
Despite the hard surface, you fell asleep right on the tea table for a little while before Subaru gently woke you to give you some tea and a small sandwich. "You probably need something to eat after all of that. It's egg salad. I hope you like it." Sweet, polite Subaru was back. "Thank you. I'm sure it's good."
He smiled his usual, shy smile and said, "If you don't mind, I'd like to talk to you about earlier. I'd like to do more with you, but I'd like to explore some things with you. You said that you've never done anything before, so would you be open to some experimenting?"
Your eyes widened at the question. "What kind of experimenting?"
"Are you familiar with shibari?"
"Mm mm," you hummed while shaking your head.
"It's a form of bondage. Rope bondage, specifically. I would be tying you up in various ways to hold you in certain positions. You would have to trust me completely. Normally it takes a long time to work up to total control, to build that trust, but...." he trailed off slightly, "If you're willing, we should pick a safe word in case you need to stop immediately."
Your brain fully crashed for a second. Bondage? Control? That would explain the change in his personality earlier. Wait, what happened with his stigma during all of it?
"Um, I just realized something. What happened earlier with your stigma? Are you okay? Are you going to be okay if we do more?"
"I've been working hard to control it for a while now. It's easier to control in certain situations. It's easiest when I'm in control, but I can manage other times. I'm okay, and I'll stop if it's too much for me as well."
You sat quietly eating your sandwich, digesting this new information.
"I understand if you need a little time to think about it. Bondage can be intimidating" he said with a slight smile. "Take the night, think about it. Please don't feel forced into it. I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable." Normal Subaru was fully back.
"Okay. I'll text you tomorrow about it either way."
"Thank you. Let me walk you back to your dorm, please."
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Upon returning to your dorm, you decided that you should take a proper bath. Your hair was still full of sweat and the towel bath could only do so much. You drew a bath and added your favorite sore muscle salts. You knew that every muscle in your body was going to hurt so much in the morning, but you didn't care aside from having trouble getting around campus.
The next day came as a blur. Between being tired, sore, and trying to decide how you felt about the night prior and Subaru's proposition, you barely paid attention in any of your classes. By lunch time, you knew that you wouldn't be able to focus on anything until you made a decision. Taking a deep breath, you pulled out your phone and opened wickhive.
"Hi, Subaru! I've decided to try it. I'm pretty nervous though, so can we go slow with it?"
"Yn! I didn't think you'd answer so soon. We can go as slow as you want. I would hate for you to feel like I'm forcing you to do this."
"Thanks. Did you have a night in mind?
"I would like some time to get set up and to get a few things before we try this. It usually takes a while also. Would Friday or Saturday night be okay?"
"How about Saturday? I should be free for most of the day. Should I have dinner first?"
"Saturday is good. We can have dinner together here, if you would like. I can order something in from Sho's truck or the campus store."
"That sounds great! I'll see you Saturday!"
