the signs as things ive tweeted
aries: why does my family never close my door. close my fuckign door
taurus: .@steam_support hi i bought this game called life and ive been playing it for twenty years and its awful id really like a refund
gemini: im just rly jealous of mark watney rn i want to be stranded on mars and die there so i can be free of this stress of being a global citizen
cancer: my sarcasm and joking demeanor only hide my grief and crippling despair
leo: yes hold on let me go take telekinesis classes thanks for that wikihow !
virgo: pls chill out im just trying to catch a fucking pikachu this is already stressful enough
libra: im glad congress is working hard to inform the public that rudolph "is a fictional, as in not real, male reindeer"
scorpio: oh my god there are people i nthe comments of the wiki discussing whether or not my dad is a snake person
sagittarius: someone please Stop Me i dont know what ur stopping me from doing but i would like you to stop me
capricorn: i only watched three episodes of xfiles because i got scared. not of the aliens, of the government. the government is terrifying
aquarius: when i told my family the cat had boogers apparently their first reaction was all to try and pick the cat's nose
pisces: "tfw no gronk" - me trying to Relate to the Family
