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@nerdjocktyrant
youth grows pale, and spectre-thin, and dies
John Keats, from Ode to a Nightingale.
top 10 lucaya moments (as voted by my followers) Âť 9. âWhat do I seem like to you?â
đ + viv
âviv is a really good friend of mine, and i respect her and trust her so much, but she is also probably 100% the person i fear most on this earth. i donât know what else to say about her. thatâs just her impact, yâknow?â // @nerdjocktyrant
where:Â the corridors when:Â some time during the night of lilyâs disappearance, probably between 1-3 in the morning? who:Â odilia travers ( @keepsschasing )
Lily â- Lily was gone, and Viv couldnât stop and think about that, she couldnât, because then sheâd start thinking, and when she started thinking, she could never seem to stop, and all she would be thinking about would be where Lily was ââ who could have her ââ what could have happened ââ what state she was in ââ and then maybe her fear would stop being fury, maybe it would become tears, and that wasnât any help to anyone, least of all Lily.
Sheâd left the others under Roseâs guidance, with the map, but Viv couldnât stand the waiting. It wasnât just that she didnât want to stay in that room with Roseâ-who Viv knew how to fight with, but theyâd never fought about something that mattered, not like thisâ-but it was also that she couldnât just stand there, waiting, not when she could be out here doing something. Doing what, she wasnât quite sure, but she figured sheâd know it when she saw it.
Then she caught sight of Odilia Travers, and boy, did she know it. She still didnât know what she was thinking, what she was saying, only that they were in a corridor and Odilia Travers was there, with that fucking expression on her face, and all the blood was rushing through Viv, with all her worry and sheer, incandescent fury, and suddenly she was storming down the corridor, with nothing on her mind except asking Odilia what the fuck she did with Lily. She couldnât prove it, but that didnât matter right now â- everything coursing through Viv was sheer emotion and instinct, and she didnât trust Odilia Travers, she hated Odilia Travers, and she had always learned how to trust her gut, and everything was saying that Odilia was involved somehow.
âWhere the fuck is Lily, Travers?â Viv demanded, wand out, closing in on her. âIs this some sick joke youâre all playing, leaving her in the forest or some shit? Tell me!â And if she wasnât thinking, if she was clenching her fist in readiness, if she had her wand out to duel but maybe also to parry â- well, that was just good instincts, really.
#me when my friends ask me for relationship advice
doesnttalkalotâ:
when: lunchtime where: the great hall open to students
once, when he was very young, jasper talkalot had lost his family in diagon alley. he was certain they were right behind him (as they had all been looking into the window at quality quidditch supplies a moment ago), but, by the time he actually decided to check, there was no one there. he had panicked for a moment, started walking off into the street, before he remembered an errant tidbit that he had learned a few weeks prior: most people lost in the woods often made things worse for themselves by journeying deeper into the unknown. this was not the woods, he knew, but he figured that it was still best to stay put, sitting down on the sidewalk and waiting for his mother to notice he was missing.Â
thankfully, it hadnât taken long.Â
that day, as a panicked lucinda talkalot saw her eldest child sitting in the middle of a busy street staring off into the clouds, she couldnât help but ask, âwhere is your head, jasper? what in the world is going on in your mind?â
he had started to say something about the woods, something about survival tips, but one of his siblings had interjected with a huff, âitâs just jasper, mom. you know how he is. he always has his head in the clouds.â
in the years since, he had thought of that moment often. and while he hadnât appreciated the tone of voice being used, he had thought the descriptor rather apt. jasper was a simple man. he was hardly ever thinking about anything other than a few nebulous and flighty topics. his current preoccupations were quidditch (in which his head was literally in the clouds), on occasion, the object of his affections (which, in his view, was about as close to heaven and, thus, the clouds, as he was about to get) and his family (he admitted this one didnât really quite fit the cloud metaphor.
nevertheless, it was, thus, unsurprising that, during their lunch break in the great hall, jasper had his head in the clouds again. when he finally grounded himself long enough to be aware of the world around him, his companion was looking at him like they expected him to say something. after trying to recall what they wanted from him and failing miserably, he took a bite from his sandwich, nonplussed.
âyes,â he said firmly, though he was not quite sure about what exactly he was agreeing to.Â
âtell me this, thoughââ he changed the topic, âis it a cauldron full of hot strong love that goes like this,â he hummed a few bars, âor is it magic magic man?â
âYes,â Viv repeated, staring at him as if heâd grown a new headâ-which she supposed might actually be a good thing in his case, seeing as he clearly wasnât using his current one. âI ask you where Natalia is and you say yes. Arenât you supposed to be good with words?â Rolling her eyesââfucking useless, honestlyâat least as frustrating as Opal was, she was capable of intelligenceââshe nonetheless listened to his humming. âFirst of all, weâre not seventy, so weird playlist youâve got going on here, but itâs Magic Magic Man â- canât believe you would disrespect Celestina that way, though, good grief, Talkalot.â Viv had no particular affection for Celestina Warbeckâs discography, but Celestina was a musical icon and Quentin Nightingale had nothing on her and Viv would not stand for the disrespect.Â
Elleâs not your property. Youâre not welcome here. Look, Iâm the wrong person to fuck with.
answer to âGemma or manon đĽ´đâ + this
For the record, this question is bullshit. But, ugh, okay, Manon ( @manonmidgenâ ). Fussy and annoying but at least sheâs not the bitch who stomped on my fucking face ( @gemmagampâ ). That said, Iâd willingly kiss her if she managed to do that to Gamp.
⢠Types of People: Horror Writers â˘
đMary Shelley: wears lots of deep burgundies and plums, favorite season is winter, dark academia aesthetics, competitive, stormy intimidating stare, impeccable grammar, loves pomegranates and renaissance art, aspires to smash the patriarchy.
đEdgar Allen Poe: dark circles under the eyes and oversized navy blue sweaters, chews their pens, courage the cowardly dog fan, weird sleeping hours, writes poems about old crushes, listens to sad lo-fi, beanies all year round, sleeps with the window open.
đShirley Jackson: crooked smile, room cluttered with glass jars of weird trinkets, superstitious, messy hair, brilliant underachiever, likes bones and patchwork quilts, trust issues, dreams about running away to a hermitage in the woods, chaotic neutral.
đSteven King: ring-neck tees and scuffed converse, dad friend, cowboy memes, loves mothman and exploring abandoned buildings, favorite season is summer, hard to tell whether theyâre joking or not, knows local history, skull and crossbone doodles in notebook margins.
6. louis, albus, rose
Zombie apocalypse? Better than cuddling one of the Wicked Witchâs ilk. Alâs ( @hungryhearted ) on my zombie apocalypse team, sorry Lou & Rosie â- weâll be a battle couple, him collecting a throng of innocents to protect, being a leader and all, and me probably defending him and them. His heightâs super unhelpful when trying to avoid zombies, but heâs pretty cute sometimes, so Iâll let it slide â- besides, he can be a beacon to the strays we collect, I guess? Silver linings, there you go, and James said I sucked at them, so suck on that, Jamie. All right, probably betray Louis ( @seekinglouis ), because I think heâll survive that and honestly, probably reasonable enough not to take it too personally? He is dramatic (Iâm allowed to say that, as his friend), so thereâs that, but I think heâd take it over death. Canât save the world/be a curse-breaking wunderkind with me/eventually take over the world if heâs dead, yeah? And Iâm really sorry, Rose ( @bewareofthorns ), but Iâll have to kill you. Iâm pretty sure youâd do the same to me to save Hugo, which is kind of comforting, and also while youâre totally smart, you probably come with the same issues as Lou when it comes to being annoying during the apocalypse (like, zombie apocalypses suck and itâs really shitty that this is happening to these people who never consented to become these things, but when weâre at risk of death in the middle of fighting them is super not the time for this discourse) and also you might not get over the betrayal option, so, death. Think of it this way â- you donât have to decide whether or not itâs a war crime to kill a zombified house elf during the apocalypse if youâre dead.
2 gemma, odilia, maddison
Why do you hate me. All right, what the fuck ever. Marry, cuddle, sleep with, yeah? Marry Maddison ( @violentlongiings ), I guess â- sheâs completely irritating and I do not and will not ever take back that punch, but sheâs the least heinous out of them, probably an effect of having the personality of a fucking limpet. I guess sleep with Gemma ( @gemmagamp ), because if I wanted to get intimate with white woman evil, Iâd live in a fucking Emma Stone movie. Which leaves cuddling Odilia ( @keepsschasing ). Iâm going to be the big spoon, even if Iâm shorter. Like fuck Iâm letting my guard down with her at my back.
3. albus, lily, ever
Oh, for fuckâs sake. Fine. Fuck Al been there, done that ( @hungryhearted ), take a bullet for Ever ( @evergreenlongbttm ), murder Lils ( @hcro ). I would die in a heartbeat for any of them, I hope they know (they might not like it, but I hope they know it), but if these are the choices, then yeah. Obviously take a bullet for Ever, because who wouldnât? Iâve had sex with Al, so might as well keep him around, and then Lils would do the same in my shoes (well, sheâd probably swap Ever and Al around, for obvious reasons), because she knows Iâd never want to live at the expense of one of them, and I know she would too.
tbh? a perfectly reasonable response when fuckboys try to speak to you. how dare they.
auguriumsâ:
location: diagon alley. date: 5th january 2024 for: @nerdjocktyrant
âare you alrightââ the sky breaks and its loud loud loudâ blackness unfurls from the split in reality and ancient winds whistle in his earâ whoâs screaming whoâs fallen thereâs blood, so much blood, and it stains the back of his knucklesâ throat burns with bygone language, gums split as mirrors of shattered prophecy grind between his teethâ mum, iâm sorry iâm sorry i love you but iâm not goingâ
hugo blinked.
his cheeks felt hot; his fingers met wetness as his hands traveled from his sides to his face to his hair; his eyes darted around his surroundings, looking but not seeing.
âfuck,â the word clawed his throat to escape. he had to warn them. he had to do something.
the speech was so fucking boring. she had to hand it to them â they certainly figured out the least shocking way to take away half the studentsâ rights ( viv couldnât figure out how the fuck theyâd figure out how to suggest that quidditch was illicit for one house only, so she thought the gryffindor team would be safe for now â- unless they tracked it to the ma? her brow furrowed ) was to do it in such a boring fashion that most of the crowd would be zoning out.
throwing a sidelong glance to hugo, preparing to rejuvenate them both with a muttered commentary on the proceedings, vivâs brow knit as she watched him with rapidly growing concern. he seemed so â- panicked, except, well, not entirely present in it? she didnât know what else to call it when his eyes were moving so quickly, when he seemed there-but-not, but everything about it felt alien to her bones.
âhugo, hey â hey, are you all right?â
I have a desire toward language and knowledge that will blow your mind.
Lidia Yuknavitch, from âThe Chronology of Water: A Memoir,â wr. c. 2011