Nope

Idek I'm confused too

[jessiesketches]

say what you will about pirates of the caribbean but elizabeth swann started that movie being told ships were no place for women and ended it as the king of pirates and that’s pretty dope to me

[montygreen]

Raven Reyes + Big Dick Energy

Requested by anonymous

[supportjohnnydepp]

#JohnnyDeppIsInnocent

#amberheardiscancelled

[lynati]

my brain, interrupting my daydream: this is poorly researched and the narrative is not compelling

[norcumi]

Brain: “Do it again, take it from the top.”

[neverthere12345]

[thepunchdrunkpoet-deactivated20]

When i was a kid, a creep tried to lure me away with him in Walmart. I said I’d have to ask my mom (who was on the other side of the store), then went to the nearest lady. An elderly black woman. I hugged her and said VERY loudly: “Mommy! This man says he knows you from church and that he has puppies outside! Can i go?” She said “no baby, you stay with me” And i just nodded and walked away with her as every able bodied person nearby converged to kick the creep’s ass.

[thepunchdrunkpoet-deactivated20]

I helped an elderly black lady put a big thing of water in her buggy and she said thank you, baby and hugged me and I nearly cried

[neptunize-deactivated20190728]

why u should join my glasses hate club

cons of glasses: •ears hurt •smudge on vision •hot drink makes fogged up •rain splat on glass •"just clean them" •squares on nose when u take them off •see the edge of the lens •adjust adjust adjust •fingerprint •take them off and world is fuzz •"wow you are so blind!!“ •forget them weird places

pros: •see things •????

[hulklovebot]

severus outed remus lupin as a werewolf, lost him his job and made it so he could basically never get work again and i’m supposed to forgive him for that bc he wanted to fuck lily potter lol alright

[vvendys]

dont be embarrassed about something u enjoy ok 

[hughgrantinpaddington2]

Every magician has a hot assistant, and every rock star has a roadie, and Pam is my hot roadie.

[meanplastic]

so apparently sleeping doesn’t make your problems go away. I woke up and everything still sucked. shocked and upset

[rage-on-against-the-dying-light]

me when sleep doesn’t solve my problems

[dankmemeuniversity]

[official-bremen]

someone: excuse me i was wondering if you could tell me when the bus arrives

me, german: ??????

someone: oh, right, sorry! excuse me, i, was wondering, if, you could, tell me, when, the bus, arrives

[germanshitposting]

meme overload (credit to @moami)

[hunter-the-capricorn]

You: 10 million fireflies Me, a German: 99 Luftballons 

[misssasori]

Cute german terms to call your significant other:

Du Gesicht

Erdbeerkäse

In Leberworscht sind Vitamine drin

Bio ist für mich Abfall

Hannibal Lätta

Warum liegt hier überhaupt Stroh rum?

Pfodse

Rindfleischettikierungsüberwachungsaufga­benübertragungsgesetz

Döner mit extra scharf

Läuft bei dir

Brot kann schimmeln was kannst du

Der Bass muss ficken

Apfelschorle

Babo

[official-sachsen-anhalt]

Wenn du denkst es geht nicht mehr,

löffle das Nutella leer.

[silkm4chine]

anyone wanna be my german penpal? 🙃 i’m losing the language so i need someone to talk to consistently

[animestan69]

Liebe Schwester,

bis du dies gelesen hast, werde ich schon tot sein. Ich denke, dass es so passieren wird: Dieter wird mich erschießen, dann werde ich Dieter erschießen, dann wird Erich hereinkommen und von Dieter erschossen werden. Dann wirst du kommen und von Erich, Dieter und mir mehrere Male erschossen werden.

Hochachtungsvoll,

Dein Bruder Konrad

PS: Dann werden zwei Bullen diesen Brief lesen und sich gegenseitig erschießen

[official-german-medienlandschaft]

Mmm was du sagst…