Half Pink Half You
↬ enemies(?) to lovers, pining (lots of it), angst, more pining, prank war, enemies to idiots to lovers (they pine for each other a lot), hospitalization, near-death experience, near-drowning, and once again, lots of angst
Jaemin
Forbidden Fruit Pt. I (18+)
↬ sexual tension, angst, mind games, mutual pining, brother’s best friend, jaemin is also a tease, some more tension, sexually explicit, unprotected sex, alcohol consumption, drunk sex, smoking, pet names (baby, darling), teasing
Forbidden Fruit Pt. II (18+)
↬ sexual tension, teasing, mind games, desperation (is this a genre?), but they are very desperate, longing, brother’s best friend Jaemin, Jaemin is also very shameless and brazen, sexually explicit, unprotected sex, mild exhibitionism, outdoor sex, alcohol consumption, pet names (baby, darling), sexual footsy
Jaehyun
Hundred Steps
↬ soft jaehyun, fluff (he is cute in this), very mild angst, unsaid words, cozy, vinyl record store, music(al), rich jaehyun, but very humble jaehyun, acts of service love language jaehyun, small town, small shop owner, shop assistant jaehyun, first kiss, first crush, coming of age (?), senior jaehyun
Genre: soft jaehyun, fluff (he is cute in this), very mild angst, unsaid words, cozy, vinyl record store, music(al), rich jaehyun, but very humble jaehyun, acts of service love language jaehyun, small town, small shop owner, shop assistant jaehyun, first kiss, first crush, coming of age (?), senior jaehyun.
Word Count: 6.5k words
A/n: Happy Jaehyun day, my loves! Here is the full fic. This is probably the sweetest fanfic I have ever written. Hope you find it so too! xD
Taglist: @yewshi @kanekisheart @cigsaftersuh
The air was warm against your cheek. The summer had ended but the heat lingered like a stubborn heart refusing to see reason. In front of you beyond the wrought iron gates, stretched the steps to your new life but you stood frozen in place.
Mind can be so fickle, and this restless heart even more so. You had waited your entire life to leave your hometown and move to the city. You had dreamed of this college every night and here it was, ready to welcome you.
But you turned your gaze behind— the city quiet from this height. Beyond the mountains in the distance, amidst the swirling roads that led to nowhere, your eyes searched for him.
Jaehyun…
It was two weeks after your high school graduation. You were working late in your father’s store for vinyl records. Just a few minutes before closing time you heard the ding of the tiny bell fixed atop the door. He stumbled in, trying to frantically shut his umbrella which was dripping onto the carpeted floor. His brown pants were soaked at the bottom and his white shirt was wrinkled at the joints.
‘That’s alright,’ you said and he looked up. Despite the umbrella, his hair was slightly damp and the tip of his nose was red. ‘We are closing soon,’ you told him. ‘If you want to browse, I suggest you come back tomorrow morning.’
His curious eyes darted from you to the aisle behind him. ‘Where is...?’
‘Are you looking for my dad?’ you asked, trying to keep your tone professional. ‘He fractured his leg. I’ll be taking care of the shop in his absence.’
He finally managed to close his umbrella and left it by the window.
‘Right,’ he said, walking into the glow of the dim lamp hanging from the ceiling above the counter. This close, you noticed that his cheeks were red too but it wasn’t particularly cold out that night.
‘I am sorry to hear that,’ he said, ‘but by any chance did he mention any Beatles record on hold?’
‘The Beatles…’ you mumbled to yourself and ducked behind the counter to check the cabinets. At the very top, wrapped neatly in a clear film was the record and stuck to it was a post-it that had the word paid written in block letters and a name beside it.
‘Jung…’ you whispered, rising back to your feet to find the light, ‘…Jaehyun.’
It took you a moment to place the name in your head, and when you did, you blurted out, ‘It’s you!’ You looked up at him. ‘You are Jung Jaehyun?!’
Your raised voice had startled him but he replied as even as before, pressing his lips together. ‘That’s correct,’ he said.
‘Get out,’ you gritted out.
‘W-What?’
His blank, ignorant eyes angered you even more.
‘Do you have any idea what you put my father through?’ you yelled, your voice echoing through the empty shop. ‘You have been making these insane demands for those godforsaken rare records ever since you stepped foot into our store!’
You could feel your face heating up, your heart pulsating inside your throat. It was a bad look— shouting at a customer, but you could not stop the words from flowing out.
‘Do you know how difficult it is for my father to find them?! It’s because of you that he had an accident and fractured his leg. He was out in the rain to get your stupid record!’
‘I…’ He stared at you, mouth agape and his face drained of colour. He had shrunk under your gaze somehow. ‘I… I had no idea.’
‘Of course, you didn’t!’ you spat back, the thin record shaking between your trembling fingers. ‘All you rich kids care about is your own convenience!’
‘That’s a harsh judgement to make,’ he returned, though not unkindly.
‘Harsh?’ You let out a mirthless laugh. You could not believe your own anger. The bulb over the counter flickered like a dull firework as the record player in the corner switched to the next song.
‘I’ll tell you what’s harsh. All his life, my father has worked tirelessly in this shop to raise me alone and I have done nothing but kept my nose buried in books so I could get into the best university in Seoul.’
You sighed, pressing your palm to your forehead to control the wretched tears that were pricking the corner of your eyes.
‘This was my last summer before college. My last chance to taste freedom and it’s ruined because of you! I am stuck in this shop, working all day. The boxes are heavy, the shelves are high. I don’t know any of the customers and all they really do is ask about my dad. I haven’t even eaten all day but I can’t complain to anyone without looking like an ungrateful brat!’
There was more you wanted to say but you had no breath left in you. Besides, you had embarrassed yourself enough and you couldn’t risk crying in front of him.
‘Just take this and leave.’ You held out the record to him.
His hand reached out immediately but stopped just centimetres from the edge.
‘Take it,’ you repeated, hiding the hitch in your voice. You did not rush his hesitation— there was no other customer in the shop waiting anyway. At last, when he closed his fingers over the record, you let the rest of your anger flow out of you with it.
‘What?’ you asked. He was still standing at the counter, staring at you. Maybe you had been too harsh but your anger didn’t allow any sympathy.
‘I can pay the hospital bill,’ he mumbled, clutching the record tightly in his hands.
‘There is no need,’ you replied. You could not let your pride take another hit after making a complete fool out of yourself in front of a complete stranger. ‘Just… don’t come back here again.’
You regretted saying it the moment the words left your lips.
When you had first learned of Jaehyun through your father, you had imagined a stoic, old man in his 50s, dressed in an unnecessarily expensive suit with a cigar in his hand and a flashy gold chain around his neck. He definitely seemed the kind with his incessant demands for particularly hard-to-find, expensive records. He liked nothing in the shop.
Pretentious bastard, you had called him.
But standing in front of you was a boy, who didn’t look much older than you. He was careful with the record while stowing it away in his bag, holding it delicately by the edges. Despite your outburst, there was a twinkle in his eyes, one that you recognized all too well— your father had it too whenever he got his hands on a new record.
In the wake of your receding anger, you saw clearly how frightened you had made him but he did not protest again. Without another word, he left, stopping only for a moment at the door but he did not speak whatever it was he wanted to say.
However, that was not the end. He came back— sooner than you had expected.
The next morning was busier than usual. You had to receive a new consignment and the truck that came with the boxes did as little as unload them right on the street in front of the store.
The sun was already up and you were sweating through your shirt by the time you had dragged the third carton inside amidst the sea of cursing passersby tripping over them.
Jaehyun found you sitting on the pavement, exhausted and on the verge of tears again. You had your head between your palms and was about to keel over from your own weight when he tapped you on your shoulder.
You looked up at him, squinting at his silhouette against the sun.
‘Didn’t I tell you not to come back here?’ you said, unable to keep the sharpness out of your tone.
He nodded, his expression unchanged. His eyes raked over the mess you had made on the street behind you.
‘What?’ This time you actually felt the tears fall out of your eyes but he didn’t startle. Instead, he sat down beside you.
‘What are you doing—’
He reached into his bag and produced a sandwich from it. It was homemade, you could tell. He peeled the wrapper back and offered it to you.
‘You haven’t eaten, have you?’ he said.
It was your turn to stare at him, wide-eyed. ‘I— don’t understand…’
‘I made you a sandwich.’
He had it so simply as if that was the most natural thing in the world. He had that air about him. You had mistaken it for confidence but Jaehyun was never too proud. He was just… him. You were dumbstruck and humbled at the same time. There were tears in your eyes again but you weren’t crying anymore.
You scoffed instead, amused. There were people still around you, cussing while stumbling through the maze of boxes; the sun was still shining— brighter and hotter; the drains smelled foul from last night’s rain and here was this boy, sitting on a hot pavement beside you with a godforsaken sandwich in his hand because you had told him last night that you hadn’t eaten anything all day. But the most absurd thing of all was when you actually took it from his hand and ate it, right there on the street.
He waited patiently beside you, not saying a word. He only had one sandwich too— you realized it after finishing it. He asked for the wrapper and shoved it in his bag, then got up and offered you his hand.
‘Let me help you,’ he said.
‘With the boxes?’ you asked.
‘In the shop,’ he replied.
His unwavering gaze was steady on you and he inhaled before speaking. ‘I can be your shop assistant. You do not have to pay me,’ he added before you could protest.
‘You want to work here?’
He nodded his head, his eager eyes searching your face for an answer you weren’t quite sure of yourself yet. For a moment, you saw it— behind the façade of his coolness— his guilt. You did not want to be pitied but he seemed more earnest than arrogant.
‘Do you not have a job?’ you asked.
‘I am in college.’
‘No summer internship?’ You could not help the derision that seeped into your words. And he picked up on it too but he did not budge.
‘It’s only my second year.’
‘I can’t pay you,’ you said in a final attempt to dissuade him.
‘I didn’t ask for money,’ he replied in the same breath.
‘Right… the shop opens at 10 and closes at 9 but you have to report an hour early to help me clean it. Will that be alright?’
‘Yes,’ he replied.
You could not tell your father about him. Jaehyun was a stranger and the shop never had any assistants before. But you needed the help, and he was willing even if it was for his own atonement.
‘So, am I hired?’ he asked.
Sighing, you took his hand and he pulled you up to your feet.
‘Get those cartons inside,’ you ordered your new assistant walking inside the store.
His reply came after a pause. ‘Yes, ma’am.’
That is how Jaehyun came to work at your store.
Every morning, he was there waiting in front of the shop before you arrived. His satchel over his shoulder and a homemade sandwich in his hand that he gave to you. He listened to what you said without question. When you told him to vacuum the floor, he did. On the mornings you told him to wipe the windows clean, he did. He steered clear of the records. Perhaps he was afraid he would break them. But he did not help you with dusting nor with arranging the shelves.
He was rich, you had realized that much but, in the shop, he acted no more than an errand boy. From carrying the boxes to special deliveries— he did them all.
During lunchtime, you took turns to eat in the backroom while the other manned the counter. In the evenings, he got you coffee from across the street and offered to tally the register while you rested.
You did not speak much, nor did you learn anything about each other that was not necessary, not until that night—
It was past 9 pm. You had closed the shop. Jaehyun was folding the cartons in the backroom and you were shelving the scattered records back in their places. You were almost done too, save for one record that was supposed to go on the top shelf of the closet in the back. You jumped up from your toes to fling it into the thin gap but not even its edge made it on to the shelf.
It's useless, you sighed to yourself after another failed attempt But just as you turned around to reach for the ladder, you bumped into his chest.
‘I’m sorry,’ he quickly straightened but did not move away. His eyes landed on the record in your hand then up at the open shelf.
‘Let me,’ he said and waited.
When you nodded, his fingers closed over the edge. He pulled it from your grip but kept standing in place. You stood there with him, confused.
‘Uh…’ The tip of his nose turned red. Perhaps the A/C was too cold, you thought at first but it was when he leaned forward that you realized why he was waiting.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, you cursed inward, holding your breath as you shrunk under him against the shelves. The blush on his face creeped up your cheeks, your breath drained out of you as he pressed further.
But Jaehyun braced himself against the edge and swiftly placed the record back onto the shelf, not even letting the hem of his shirt touch you. You had never realized how much taller he was than you, but then again, you had never bothered to look before.
You were looking then, up at him and back at his face when he found his footing again. He had an earphone in his right ear. You could hear the faint music leaking out of it in the sudden silence that had enveloped you both.
‘What are you listening to?’ you asked, surprised at the strangeness of your own voice.
He took the earphone out and held it out in front of you. ‘Want to listen?’
You nodded but he walked down the aisle and out of sight. Several seconds later, you heard the soft crinkling of a plastic film and the distinct sound of a record being pulled out of its case. You waited as he dropped the pin over it and the song reached you.
The Night We Met by Lord Huron.
Unexpectedly, he found you on the floor again as the notes of the first chorus filled the empty shop. He sat beside you, just as naturally as he had done the first time.
When the record player cracked to a halt, he turned to you. He did not speak, not out loud at least, but you could make out his words. So, when the next night came, you put on a new record in the player— With You by Harrison Storm.
The night after that, he replied and the one after that, you replied to his reply. Every night, after you flipped the sign in the window to closed, you both found a song for each other. To his Dandelion you replied with Sofia. For his Laufey, you had Lana Del Rey. For your Hozier, he had Artic Monkeys.
You sat beside each other on the same spot tucked between the shelves, listening to your conversation echo against the walls. It was easy to slip through that crack in time that you had opened and enter that small pocket of dimensionless space, save for the music.
He tapped his foot against the floor when you replied to his Home with Nancy Mulligan and danced on the night you had played Something Just Like This to his question, Mystery of Love.
It was strange how you knew nothing about Jaehyun yet you had never known anybody that intimately before.
But the summer was ending. In a blink of an eye, three months had passed. You had started receiving emails and thick letters from your college about orientation, dorm rooms, classes and credits. And two days ago, you had taken your father to the hospital to get his cast removed. He was going to come back to the store; you were going to leave for college and Jaehyun… you didn’t even know where he was going to go or whether you would see him again.
You fell asleep on the counter that night after closing the shop. It was humid outside and the A/C was on full blast. It was a restless sleep and you must have been shivering because you felt him drape his outer shirt over you. It smelled of him— warm and sweet, and you groaned, suddenly wanting more. You opened your eyes slowly. He was right there, his face in front of you but your gaze did not surprise him.
He reached out and brushed a strand of your hair away from your face. His touch was so light that you thought you were still dreaming, but his warm breath over your lips was evidence enough. His dazed eyes pulled you in and for a brief moment you thought he was going to lean in but when you blinked up from his lips again, he gulped and shook his head.
‘Uh…’ You straightened up too, his shirt falling to the floor behind you. You were sweating beneath your collar, a familiar flush on your face.
‘It’s your turn to pick a song,’ he mumbled. Perhaps he did not know what to say either.
‘R-Right…’
You leafed through the records to find your words. A conversation had ended last night so it was your turn to begin anew. But all you could really think of was Jaehyun… and you, and what if you hadn’t met him like you had. What if you had met him in college. He would have been a senior and you, like every other girl in his class, would have had a crush on him. Then, one day, after gathering all your courage, you would have asked him out. Perhaps he would have said yes, and instead of helping you around the shop, he would have done all those small things for you as your boyfriend.
You found him at your spot on the floor after putting the song on the record player— Those Eyes by New West.
Three minutes and forty seconds. It’s not long, not by any measure, but it was enough for you to tell him what you could not speak that night. You couldn’t recall how long you sat beside him, silently, after the song was over. You didn’t want to leave, not yet.
Then it struck you.
‘Do you want to go on a trip with me?’ you asked, keeping your eagerness at bay.
‘A trip?’
‘It’s just to get a record from the next town. Don’t say it,’ you warned, expecting a taunt about it but it never came. Instead, he smiled his dimpled smile and nodded his head.
‘We’ll have to take the bus,’ you told him, testing his resolve.
‘Alright.’ He nodded his head.
‘We will have to leave at 5 am.’
‘Okay.’
‘You might get bored,’ you told him.
He paused— the dimples on his cheeks deepened. ‘Then let’s get bored together.’
The morning was silent and still blue. You reached the bus stop before Jaehyun, who came a minute after. There was no sleep in his eyes, nor any hint of exhaustion. If anything, he looked as lively as the birds singing in the trees behind you.
‘Did you walk here?’ you asked.
‘It wasn’t that far,’ he replied and you realised you didn’t even know where he lived.
‘What’s that for?’ You pointed at the film camera that was hung around his neck.
‘Oh, this is…’ He looked down at the camera, running a hand through his hair. ‘In case I find something beautiful today.’
You and Jaehyun sat near the end of the bus— him by the aisle and you at the window seat. The ride was short, or so it felt (you fell asleep quickly into it and woke up when the sun was up and your destination was two stops away). If he was bored, he didn’t complain, nor did you feel him stir beside you.
‘Here,’ he said, taking out a wrapped sandwich and a small box of chocolate milk from his bag. ‘Why are you smiling?’
You took the sandwich from his hand and unwrapped it. ‘Why do you bring me a sandwich every day?’ You knew the answer already but you wanted him to say it.
There was a shy smile on his face and he fumbled before speaking. ‘That night…’ he started, ‘you said you hadn’t eaten all day.’
You were grateful that he turned his pointed gaze away from you because you could feel your face heating up. Pressing his lips together, he offered you the carton of milk with both hands.
‘I don’t like chocolate milk,’ you lied and pushed the box towards him. ‘Why don’t you finish this?’
He sighed, looking disappointed but took the box nonetheless.
In the soft light of the morning sun, even the town’s chaos seemed peaceful. Amidst the sudden swarm of running children, Jaehyun pulled you close by the elbow— you were about to bump into a child, who was scampering to find his way around your legs.
‘Do you know where to go?’ he asked.
‘Hm?’ It was hard to focus when he was that close to you.
‘The way to the shop…’ he repeated.
‘Right,’ you said, pulling away to conceal the beat of your thumping heart. ‘Straight down this road and right at the intersection.’
‘Alright then,’ he said, cheerily, ‘lead the way.’
The shops were only just waking up, delivery trucks lining the streets. In the distance, you could hear the ocean, calm that morning except for the occasional thrash of the waves which marked its presence.
‘Where do you live?’ you blurted out without thinking. The question must have caught him off-guard too. He jerked his head in your direction, pausing for a bit before answering.
‘My parents’ home is in our town,’ he said. ‘But I go to college in Seoul.’
‘Oh, which one?’ you asked. ‘My university is also in Seoul.’
‘I know,’ he replied but did not answer your question.
You could see the ocean in the distance now, merging into the sky beyond the intersection. The cars looked as if floating on water as they sped off in either direction.
‘I am sorry,’ you said.
He raised an eyebrow. ‘What for?’
‘For shouting at you that night.’
‘It’s alright.’ He shrugged. ‘If someone was making my father work that much, I would have been angry too.’
That was Jaehyun— easy and uncomplicated. He had managed to put your mind at ease so simply that he made you question your own apology. You nodded, not sure whether grateful or humbled but whatever it was, you knew it was real, the feeling anchoring itself inside your heart.
When you reached the store, he stayed outside. The store owner had already laid the record out for you. It was a rare 12-inch record wrapped in a gatefold sleeve. You replayed your father’s instructions in your head as you picked it up for inspection. You held it up to the sun for signs of scratches or scruffs along the fine grooves. There were none. The label was authentic and so were the markings at the back.
You lowered the record and your gaze fell on Jaehyun, standing outside the store window. He had his hand on his camera and his eyes on you. The sun must have been burning his back— he was standing so still but he did not move.
You jerked your chin up in question but he shook his head and turned away. You had seen that look before on him before, several times in the last three months. It was either in those early hours of morning when he would report to work or later during the slow evenings just before closing time. You had never questioned it. It wasn’t your place. But you had realized as much that it was always when he was staring at you.
‘Did you get it?’ Jaehyun asked once you were outside.
‘Hm,’ you replied, tapping your bag and sighed, ‘We still have the afternoon to kill before the evening bus.’
‘What do you want to do?’
‘There is a lighthouse here,’ you said. ‘Do you want to go see it?’
‘Yes,’ he exclaimed, his eyes lighting up.
You retraced your steps back to the intersection and turned left this time, towards the sea and to the lighthouse that stood down the stony promenade. It was painted in striking red with a set of staircases leading up to the cabin at the top. The sea behind it was a stark blue in contrast, endlessly spilling over the horizon.
You sat on the edge of the walkway, your feet dangling over the breakwater rocks below you. You leaned back on your palms and breathed a sigh. The clouds overhead had overshadowed the sun and the salty wind had turned cold.
‘What are you doing?’ you asked.
Jaehyun had torn a page from a notebook in his backpack and was folding it up into a shape.
‘Making a boat,’ he replied with a child-like giggle.
‘A boat?’ You laughed. ‘For the ocean?’
‘Mhm.’ He had his eyes set on the paper he had laid out beside him. ‘See?’ he chimed up, holding the paper boat up to your face. ‘But the question is whether it will reach the ocean or not.’
The rocks were blocking the water and the aim had to be perfect. You got up with him, taking a step back to witness what you could already tell would be a failed venture. He angled the front of the boat towards the water like a plane and shot it like a dart towards it only for it to land right in front of your feet.
‘Here, let me try,’ you said and picked it up. You held it from the bottom and aimed it further away. It flew a few inches but landed in a small crevice between the boulders below.
‘Jaehyun!’ You shrieked.
Jaehyun had practically flung himself down the pavement to the slippery rocks, his hands still holding onto the edge.
‘Careful…’
‘I am fine,’ he shouted back above the sound of the waves just a few metres away from him.
‘Just throw the boat from there,’ you shouted back as you saw him scrambling back up to you with the boat still in his hand.
‘What’s the fun in that?’
‘You are insane, you know that?’
He smiled and shrugged.
The boat was crumpled beyond hope. With a quiet sigh, Jaehyun tore another page and made a longer, sleeker shape this time only to fail again. You tried different angles, shapes, even places. At one point, Jaehyun even took a running start and hurled the boat forward, but it always fell short of the shoreline, sometimes by mere inches.
By afternoon, a few children returning from school had joined your futile pursuit. While you kept folding new boats, you could hear Jaehyun behind you— scolding them in an attempt to keep them away from the edge.
At last, exhausted, you both plopped down.
‘Should we just give up?’ you asked. The wind wasn’t in your favour and the clouds were shifting again. You saw his shoulders slump further with a sigh as his gaze fell over the pile of the failed paper boats.
‘You look disappointed,’ you remarked.
You wanted to laugh and perhaps you did too because his dejected frown quickly twisted into an offended scowl. Why was he so disappointed over a silly boat. That boy really was mad. And, maybe you were too, because before you even realized it, you were grabbing his hand and pulling him along.
‘Come on, get up,’ you said, picking out the very first boat he had made from the pile. ‘We are going to get your damn boat into the water.’
The paper had dried hard but it was not torn. If it landed correctly, it could still float. You straightened out its crumpled edges, making the perfect cone at the top to balance its weight and took the position at the edge.
‘Careful.’ He tightened his grip on your hand.
‘I’m fine,’ you told him. ‘Just hold on tightly me.’
He braced his foot against yours as you leaned forward with his support. His fingers stiffened and his other hand grasped your elbow tightly but he gave you enough room to safely incline yourself over the rocks.
‘A little more.’
It took him a second to loosen his hold to let you lean further over the edge. You were focused on the angle, your eyes fixed on the pattern of the crashing waves. You counted the seconds in between. One more. You had to wait for just one more.
‘Now,’ you said. Jaehyun let go of your hand. You shot the boat towards the receding tide in the fraction of a second before he yanked you back into his arms.
This time the ocean accepted it, pulling the little devil inwards with its current.
‘It’s in the water,’ he said.
You had expected more of a celebration after the hours you both had spent on it. But perhaps the feel of his pounding heart beneath your palm was evidence enough of his triumph and the smile on his face was your reward.
‘It’s in the water,’ you echoed, amused at your own joy.
The evening bus was right on schedule and you barely made it back to the stop in time. The sun was setting in the distance. It was time to go back. You glanced back, as if hoping you could catch a final glimpse of the boat that you’d set afloat in the ocean together but it was gone.
The bus was packed yet quieter somehow. Jaehyun pulled a juice box from his bag for you and as you sipped on the bitter taste of farewell, your eyes swelled with tears. This really was the end— the last night of the dream that the summer had pulled you into.
Tomorrow, Jaehyun would be gone.
And so, you held on, as tightly as you could. You closed your eyes and let the setting sun lull you into one final sleep. He was still there, and you weren’t going to let tomorrow ruin that.
‘It is your turn to pick the song tonight,’ you turned to him.
His dazed eyes focused on yours then took out the earphones from his bag and gave one of them to you. It took him a while to find the song on his phone.
The Night We Met by Lord Huron.
Why did he choose that song? It was the very first you had both listened to together. Perhaps that was his closure.
It was still early when you reached your town but the bus stop was empty save for the passengers who got down with you. Jaehyun had offered to walk you back to your house but you had refused.
You pointed to the camera around his neck. ‘You didn’t take any pictures today.’
He remained silent, but you could see his mind working behind his eyes. He was perfectly still but he seemed restless somehow and you couldn’t tell why the same impatience was seeping into you as well.
‘Didn’t find anything beautiful to click?’ You tried to break the tension his silence had caused. The street lamp above you flickered for a brief moment before settling down.
‘I did,’ he said at last, his voice not above a whisper but his smile had returned— the shy one. In the same breath, he raised the camera to his eyes and snapped a picture of you.
You are not sure how long you stood there, arrested in place by the flash but you were sure of one thing then— you had to ask him the question that had been poking at you since last night.
‘Will I see you again?’
His relaxed smile irked you. Why was he so calm?
Silently, he unhooked the chain that he wore around his neck. You had seen it before but as he pulled it away, you saw a pendant hanging at the end. It was a small silver record complete with its grooves.
He took your hand and placed it in your palm, closing your fingers over it. He leaned in close, as if whispering a secret to you.
‘On the day you climb a hundred steps, close your eyes, hold out this pendant in front of you and say my name. That’s when you’ll see me again.’
You looked up at him, confused, but he had already let go of your hand.
‘Promise me, you will remember this,’ he said. He was pulling away but his eager eyes were waiting for your answer. ‘Promise me.’
‘I will,’ you managed before he left.
That was two weeks ago and the last time you saw Jaehyun.
Nothing had moved around you— the wrought iron gates still stood; the people still walked by. The air was still warm and the college was still waiting.
Pulling the strap of your bag up your shoulder, you dragged your gaze back to your new life. One step after the other, you walked till you reached the base of a steep climb.
This entrance was reserved for freshmen. For a moment you wondered whether it was some sort of a prank set up by the seniors because in front of you was a seemingly endless set of steps stretching to a top you couldn’t even see from where you stood.
Just then, a boy next to you groaned. ‘Why are there a hundred steps here?’
You heard a breathy laugh next. ‘Funny you say this. It’s exactly a hundred steps here.’
A hundred steps…
You had started climbing the steps alongside them, your ears perked up at their conversation.
‘What do you mean?’ the first one asked.
‘It’s tradition,’ the other one replied, catching up to him. ‘Freshmen are supposed to climb a hundred steps on their first day of college for good luck.’
‘What did you just say?’ You suddenly turned to them, making them jump up.
The two boys exchanged a confused glance before looking back at you.
‘I am sorry,’ you quickly added, seeing their startled expression. ‘The steps…’
The shorter one nodded his head. ‘Yes, it’s a freshmen tradition—’
‘No,’ you cut him off. ‘Are there exactly hundred steps on this staircase?’
‘Y-Yes,’ he stammered.
Jaehyun’s words rushed to the front of your mind— on the day you climb a hundred steps…
It was the strangest thing that he had said that night. You had turned his words over in your head a thousand times, wondering if you had misheard him or missed something between the lines.
But here they were, quite literally, a hundred steps in front of you.
Heart hammering inside your chest, you quickly counted the steps you had already climbed— 24— before turning around and breaking into a run. You could feel the pendant burn inside your pocket as you rushed up the stairs, two at a time.
Your legs burned with the strain it took to push yourself up the incline, each step more demanding than the last.
This is ridiculous, you thought. This isn’t a fairytale. How would he even know about this.
But the rising questions melted away in the face of what was pulling you up.
Your breaths turned into short gasps, making your pounding heart thud against your ears, drowning out everything else. Your lungs ached for air, but you did not stop. If he was really waiting at the top, you didn’t want him to wait for too long.
One after the other, you kept going, slower when you couldn’t anymore, but not stopping until the top finally came into view.
Still panting, you reached for the pendant in your pocket, your other hand pressing against the stitch in your stomach. The silver record dangled from the chain as you held it out in front of you, the tiny grooves reflecting the sunlight.
You closed your eyes, and whispered his name like a prayer— it felt like magic anyway.
‘Jaehyun.’
The leaves above you rustled in the soft wind that had caught you. The birds were chirping too. There was a dull chatter somewhere in the distance and the soft curses of the students asking you to move. But you could not bring yourself to open your eyes yet.
God, this is so stupid. You were sure you looked deranged to others. The possibility crossed your mind too. What if he had meant his words to be something else. What if you had not paid close attention to what he had said. Ugh. Why couldn’t he have just said what he wanted to?!
But then you heard it— him.
‘What took you so long?’
You smiled first, then opened your eyes. He was standing right before you, his dimples etched on his cheeks. His hand closed over yours, pulling the pendant to himself, and you with it.
‘I am sorry, I am late,’ you said.
There he was, your senior in college, the dream within your grasp. Just like every other girl in his class must have, you had a crush on him too.
‘Do you…’ The words caught in your throat. The fantasy was easier than reality. But you had not just climbed a hundred steps to shy away.
‘What is it?’
Gathering all the courage in your heart, you asked, ‘Do you want to get a cup of coffee?’
He chuckled, his eyes twinkling like they did the first time you had seen him. His smile grew wider barely leaving space for the dimples on his cheeks. He wrapped his arm around your waist, hesitantly at first then bolder when you followed his lead. The tip of his nose had turned red but his bashful gaze remained fixed on you. He held your face in his hands and pressed his lips over yours ever so sweetly like he had been waiting to do so for an eternity.
‘I would love to,’ he whispered and kissed you again.
Hundred Steps | Jaehyun — Preview | Read full fic here
Pairing: Jaehyun x fem! reader
Genre: soft jaehyun, mild angst, fluff (sort of – he is cute in this), cozy, unsaid words, music(al), enemies (one-sided) to lovers, rich jaehyun, but very humble jaehyun, acts of service love language jaehyun, small town, summer, small shop owner reader - vinyl record store, coming of age (?)
Word Count (Preview): 1.1k words
A/n: It’s Jaehyun's birthday month so I thought of posting this on tumblr! The whole fic will be published on his birthday. Consider it my gift to you all here xD
If anyone wants to be added to the taglist for this – leave a comment, or a message, or anything you want.
The air was warm against your cheek. The summer had ended but the heat lingered like a stubborn heart refusing to see reason. In front of you beyond the wrought iron gates, stretched the steps to your new life but you stood frozen in place.
Mind can be so fickle, and this restless heart even more so. You had waited your entire life to leave your hometown and move to the city. You had dreamed of this college every night and here it was, ready to welcome you.
But you turned your gaze behind— the city quiet from this height. Beyond the mountains in the distance, amidst the swirling roads that led to nowhere, your eyes searched for him.
Jaehyun…
It was two weeks after your high school graduation. You were working late in your father’s store for vinyl records. Just a few minutes before closing time you heard the ding of the tiny bell fixed atop the door. He stumbled in, trying to frantically shut his umbrella which was dripping onto the carpeted floor. His brown pants were soaked at the bottom and his white shirt was wrinkled at the joints.
‘That’s alright,’ you said and he looked up. Despite the umbrella, his hair was slightly damp and the tip of his nose was red. ‘We are closing soon,’ you told him. ‘If you want to browse, I suggest you come back tomorrow morning.’
His curious eyes darted from you to the aisle behind him. ‘Where is...?’
‘Are you looking for my dad?’ you asked, trying to keep your tone professional. ‘He fractured his leg. I’ll be taking care of the shop in his absence.’
He finally managed to close his umbrella and left it by the window.
‘Right,’ he said, walking into the glow of the dim lamp hanging from the ceiling above the counter. This close, you noticed that his cheeks were red too but it wasn’t particularly cold out that night.
‘I am sorry to hear that,’ he said, ‘but by any chance did he mention any Beatles record on hold?’
‘The Beatles…’ you mumbled to yourself and ducked behind the counter to check the cabinets. At the very top, wrapped neatly in a clear film was the record and stuck to it was a post-it that had the word paid written in block letters and a name beside it.
‘Jung…’ you whispered, rising back to your feet to find the light, ‘…Jaehyun.’
It took you a moment to place the name in your head, and when you did, you blurted out, ‘It’s you!’ You looked up at him. ‘You are Jung Jaehyun?!’
Your raised voice had startled him but he replied as even as before, pressing his lips together. ‘That’s correct,’ he said.
‘Get out,’ you gritted out.
‘W-What?’
His blank, ignorant eyes angered you even more.
‘Do you have any idea what you put my father through?’ you yelled, your voice echoing through the empty shop. ‘You have been making these insane demands for those godforsaken rare records ever since you stepped foot into our store!’
You could feel your face heating up, your heart pulsating inside your throat. It was a bad look— shouting at a customer, but you could not stop the words from flowing out.
‘Do you know how difficult it is for my father to find them?! It’s because of you that he had an accident and fractured his leg. He was out in the rain to get your stupid record!’
‘I…’ He stared at you, mouth agape and his face drained of colour. He had shrunk under your gaze somehow. ‘I… I had no idea.’
‘Of course, you didn’t!’ you spat back, the thin record shaking between your trembling fingers. ‘All you rich kids care about is your own convenience!’
‘That’s a harsh judgement to make,’ he returned, though not unkindly.
‘Harsh?’ You let out a mirthless laugh. You could not believe your own anger. The bulb over the counter flickered like a dull firework as the record player in the corner switched to the next song.
‘I’ll tell you what’s harsh. All his life, my father has worked tirelessly in this shop to raise me alone and I have done nothing but kept my nose buried in books so I could get into the best university in Seoul.’
You sighed, pressing your palm to your forehead to control the wretched tears that were pricking the corner of your eyes.
‘This was my last summer before college. My last chance to taste freedom and it’s ruined because of you! I am stuck in this shop, working all day. The boxes are heavy, the shelves are high. I don’t know any of the customers and all they really do is ask about my dad. I haven’t even eaten all day but I can’t complain to anyone without looking like an ungrateful brat!’
There was more you wanted to say but you had no breath left in you. Besides, you had embarrassed yourself enough and you couldn’t risk crying in front of him.
‘Just take this and leave.’ You held out the record to him.
His hand reached out immediately but stopped just centimetres from the edge.
‘Take it,’ you repeated, hiding the hitch in your voice. You did not rush his hesitation— there was no other customer in the shop waiting anyway. At last, when he closed his fingers over the record, you let the rest of your anger flow out of you with it.
‘What?’ you asked. He was still standing at the counter, staring at you. Maybe you had been too harsh but your anger didn’t allow any sympathy.
‘I can pay the hospital bill,’ he mumbled, clutching the record tightly in his hands.
‘There is no need,’ you replied. You could not let your pride take another hit after making a complete fool out of yourself in front of a complete stranger. ‘Just… don’t come back here again.’
You regretted saying it the moment the words left your lips.
When you had first learned of Jaehyun through your father, you had imagined a stoic, old man in his 50s, dressed in an unnecessarily expensive suit with a cigar in his hand and a flashy gold chain around his neck. He definitely seemed the kind with his incessant demands for particularly hard-to-find, expensive records. He liked nothing in the shop.
Pretentious bastard, you had called him.
But standing in front of you was a boy, who didn’t look much older than you. He was careful with the record while stowing it away in his bag, holding it delicately by the edges. Despite your outburst, there was a twinkle in his eyes, one that you recognized all too well— your father had it too whenever he got his hands on a new record.
In the wake of your receding anger, you saw clearly how frightened you had made him but he did not protest again. Without another word, he left, stopping only for a moment at the door but he did not speak whatever it was he wanted to say.
However, that was not the end. He came back— sooner than you had expected.
Pairing: Brother's best friend Jaemin x fem! reader
Genre: sexual tension, angst, mind games, mutual pining, brother’s best friend, jaemin is also a tease, some more tension
Warnings: smut (eventual), sexually explicit, unprotected sex, alcohol consumption, drunk sex, smoking, pet names (baby, darling), teasing
Word Count: 2.1k words
Read Part 2 here
Jaemin was handsome. Jaemin was so bloody handsome that it drove you insane. But he was also Mark’s best friend, and as much as you wanted him, he was your brother’s best friend.
Jaemin was also standing right in front of you, leaning against the door frame, his right hand holding the top for support and his left holding his jacket. His black shirt was unbuttoned till his torso, and his pants were crinkled. His hair was messy and his sighs were heady.
He was drunk. You could smell it.
‘Mark isn’t home,’ you said, hoping he wouldn’t go away.
He looked at you from top to bottom, his eyes stopping at your skirt before looking up.
‘I know,’ he groaned. ‘Can I come in?’
‘Why?’ You blocked his way. It was too risky. Behind you, on the table was the bottle of wine you had downed a few minutes ago and the flush that was creeping its way up to your face was enough to tell you that he shouldn’t be here, not when you were tipsy and alone.
He scoffed, tilting his head to the side. ‘Are you sure you don’t want me to come in?’ he mocked, stepping over the threshold.
You had met Jaemin three years ago when Mark had brought his friends home. You knew all of them except him. He was new. He was different. He did not pat your head like you were a kid, nor did he ever treat you like one of the boys. But different isn’t necessarily good and in this case, it was almost torturous.
Those accidental rub of the shoulders, those unintentional graze of your hands, the stolen glances and the lingering gazes. It was nothing, you told yourself, repeating those words over and over in your head every time Jaemin would visit, till you could think of nothing but him.
‘I can go back, if you’d like.’ His voice came out hoarse.
Without a thought, you took a step back, allowing him inside, and the moment he closed the door behind him without your protests, he smirked, spotting the empty wine bottle on the table.
‘Having a party… alone?’
‘Is there something you want?’ you asked, keeping the tremble out of your voice as best you could.
‘Hm…’ He met your eyes.
‘What?’
But he chose to keep quiet.
Stumbling, he made his way to the table and sat himself down, letting his head lean back. ‘Water…’ he groaned, throwing his jacket on the side and unbuttoning the remaining buttons on his shirt.
This is bad. This is bad, you repeated in your mind, keeping your eyes away from his chest. Your hands were shivering and your face had grown hot. You could feel the heat rising inside you and was sure that you weren’t hiding it well.
‘Here.’ You offered him the glass of water and watched him gulp it down, slowly, the droplets dribbling down his bobbing throat to his chest, drenching his shirt where it still made contact with his skin.
‘Are you done gawking?’ he said, with his last gulp.
The question angered you. It was one thing to tease but you didn’t like the implication that you were the only one who was holding back. You had seen him watch too. Those lingering gazes weren’t one-sided.
‘I wasn’t,’ you said, defiantly.
‘Sure,’ he scoffed.
‘As if you have never.’
‘Never what?’
‘Gawked at me.’
He liked this. You could see it in his eyes. The little game that he had just set for the both of you and how you had become a player without ever consenting to it.
‘Maybe I have,’ he said, running his fingers through his dark hair that fell over his eyes and groaned, ‘Ah, but you’re his sister. I can’t. We can’t…’
‘Hey, you alright?’
Jaemin was barely holding on. The whisky he had had on his way over was finally taking hold. He shook his head and took out a cigarette from his pocket.
‘Mark won’t like it if you smoke here,’ you warned.
‘Mark won’t like a lot of things I have on my mind right now,’ he slurred and lit the cigarette between his lips. Taking painfully slow drags out of the stick, he blew out the smoke that smelled of whisky, letting the ash fall to the ground.
You waited, still. And when he was done, he let go of the cigarette butt and crushed it beneath his boot.
‘No,’ he answered your earlier question.
‘Hm?’
‘I don’t feel alright,’ he said.
‘Oh, do you want water?’ you asked, knowing already that this wasn’t what he was here for but you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction by folding first.
‘No,’ he replied, his eyes steady on you.
‘Want to lie down?’ you asked and he smirked hearing the hitch in your breath.
‘No,’ he whispered. He had to be patient. You were almost there.
‘What do you want then?’
‘Why don’t you guess?’
‘I am not going to play your games,’ you hissed.
‘Don’t act like you are not enjoying this.’
‘I don’t know what you mean.’
He waited, then sighed. ‘Can you rub my back for me?'
Your fingers twitched and your throat gulped dryly. It was obvious, so damn obvious and you hated how your body was reacting to his words.
‘Is there something wrong?’ Do you not trust yourself?’ he said, spreading his legs for you.
This was it. He had laid the perfect bait. Denying the challenge meant admitting to his accusation. Accepting it, meant torture.
Pressing your lips together, you took a step to him and without hesitation, ran your palm down his broad back.
There was no way you were going down without a fight.
You nudged forward between his legs as you slowly stroked his back. It was your turn to draw him out. There was no hurry, not anymore— you took your time, feeling every inch of his back under your fingers, making sure he knew who was in charge right now. Every brush, every stroke, every touch was intentional, pausing where his body reacted but lingering not more than a second. You were not going to give this to him so easily. The heat from your palms spread over his back like a drop of paint in water. He was leaning into it, sighing when he didn’t want to, groaning when he knew he shouldn’t. You pulled him, dragged him out with every rub, your own breath growing heavy seeing his gleaming eyes drooping, sensing his pulse quickening.
Fuck, what have you done.
His hands found your legs. ‘Hm…’ he mumbled against your stomach, pulling you in.
‘Jaemin,’ you breathed out as his palms found their way upwards. ‘We should stop.’
‘We should,’ he agreed with no intention of stopping.
‘This is wrong.’
‘It is.’
‘Stop it.’
‘You first.’
‘I can’t.’
‘Then don’t,’ he hissed and rose to his feet. This was enough.
He pushed you against the table, an arm holding your waist, the other bracing against the edge.
‘How much have you had to drink?’ he asked against your lips, his warm breath fanning over your face.
‘T-The bottle of wine,’ you whimpered.
‘Just that?’ His voice was desperate, his words strained.
‘Just that,’ you echoed and felt him tighten his grip around you.
‘Do you realize what I want to do?’ He pressed his forehead against you, his hands pulling the fabric of your top.
You nodded.
‘I am your brother’s best friend,’ he reminded you and waited.
‘You are my brother’s best friend,’ you replied, lip quivering against his.
‘Are you sure you want this?’ he asked.
You nodded again, your own desperation growing.
‘’No, say it. Do you want me to fuck you?’
‘I want it, Jaemin,’ you almost moaned out. ‘I want you to fuck me.’
He grinned against your jaw. ‘Aw, baby, look at you. You sound so pathetic, and I haven’t even started yet.’
This was when you realized how badly you had lost this round.
Shameless as it was, your gaze found his lips, and Jaemin didn’t waste a single second in useless chatter after that. He kissed you, hungry and full, his hand tangled in your hair. And oh, how you melted into him, letting him pull you closer to him.
It was just how you had imagined it countless times before— hot, messy, and desperate. He tasted of whisky and smelled of smoke. It was almost dizzying and you were sure that Jaemin was holding you up. But you inhaled him whole, not wanting to waste a single breath that didn’t pull you closer to him.
He sucked at your lips, nipped and bit when it wasn’t enough, his tongue hot in your mouth. It was almost pathetic how he bucked his hips against you, pressing his bulge, making you moan. He kissed your jaw, his lips trailing down to your neck where he marked you red.
‘Ugh, Jaemin,’ you moaned and he kissed your mouth again as if he had forgotten what it tasted like in the seconds that had passed. He had forgotten how to breathe, how to exist without you.
With a groan, he pulled back and for a moment you thought he was stopping. But when his eyes met yours, you both knew. This was it. But he had to be sure.
‘Baby…’ he whispered breathlessly.
‘Yes, fuck me,’ you cried out.
You couldn’t even make it to the bedroom. It was too far away and the walk was too long. Jaemin helped you up the table. Your hand knocked over the wine bottle and somewhere in the distance you heard it shattering to the floor, the remaining wine spilling out from between the shards behind you.
Unzipping his pants, he pulled your underwear down from beneath your skirt.
‘Oh, baby, you are so wet for me,’ he panted against your lips, biting it once again as his fingers worked between your folds. ‘Such a good girl.’
‘Stop teasing,’ you whined as he rubbed his length along your warmth. It was all too much, too agonizing to bear. ‘Please…’
He pushed his way in, slowly, swallowing your moans into his mouth. Your eyes rolled back into your head as your legs wrapped themselves around his waist.
‘Mhngh…’
He waited but only for a single torturous moment before pulling out and thrusting in again, harder this time.
‘Y-Yes,’ you breathed.
His pants pooled around his ankles, his shirt drooping off his shoulders, he fucked into you again and again, your bodies falling into a rhythm of their own. The sound of your skins slapping against each other echoed in the hollow, your sinful moans marking each thrust as he plunged deeper into you.
‘Do you like me this much, huh?’ He increased his pace as you clutched onto him. ‘Have you been dreaming about me, baby?’
You bit onto his shoulder, your nails digging into his sweaty back.
‘Did you picture this every time I came over?’ he teased, holding you by your jaw to make you look at him. ‘Huh, baby? Did you imagine me fucking you every time you touched yourself?’
‘Jaemin…’ You weren’t even listening anymore. His arm around you, his chest against yours, his mouth sucking on your neck and his dick thrusting inside you. You were full— full of him, overwhelmed by his scent, consumed by his body. You felt small in front of his desire, yet to him, you looked the prettiest when falling apart in his arms like that.
‘I know,’ he soothed you, still fucking you into the table. ‘I know, darling. God, I have dreamed about fucking you too. You have no idea how many wretched nights I have spent touching myself thinking about you.’
‘Hm, right there, y-yes, don’t stop…’
‘Oh, don’t worry, baby. I won’t stop till I make you come.’
You threw your head back, the knot inside you threatening to unravel. You screamed his name as you clenched around him, making him groan and bite your shoulder. But he held onto you as you squirmed in his arms from your release.
‘Yes, baby, so beautiful,’ he grunted, his eyes glazed over from watching you come undone like that. He was still thrusting inside you, his own rhythm becoming sloppier and with a final clench, he pulled out, spilling his white onto your thigh.
You stayed still, foreheads pressed, panting into each other’s mouths, your hands refusing to let go of the other. There was a distant knock, probably a doorbell— you couldn’t tell.
You looked up at him. He was already smiling, or was it a smirk. ‘Mark is going to kill you,’ you reminded him.
Description: Locked in an endless prank war, Donghyuck and Haewon only had one goal— outsmart the other by pulling a cleverer trick.
But when one of Donghyuck’s pranks goes horribly wrong, the two might come face to face with their true feelings. As emotions run high and tension deepens, can the two survive a test of their hearts?
Tags: enemies(?) to lovers, pining (lots of it), angst, more pining
Content: prank war, enemies to idiots to lovers (they pine for each other a lot), hospitalization, near-death experience, near-drowning, and once again, lots of angst
a/n: seriously, don't read this if you don't like angst
Word count: 8.8k words
Happy Reading!
It was only 9 am and Donghyuck had made Haewon curse seven times already. Eight, if you count the finger she had just given him after he had made a retching sound at the picture she clicked of the sky.
‘Did I ask?’ she gritted out, turning away from him.
But Donghyuck caught up to her. There wasn’t much room to escape on a bus filled with 40 other students anyway.
He clicked his tongue, pulling his bag over his shoulder. ‘You should appreciate the free advice, princess. You clearly need it.’
Haewon bit her tongue, deciding to swallow the protest at the nickname he had just used for her and settle for a roll of her eyes instead. She found an empty seat a few rows from the end and settled down on the window side only to sigh immediately as Donghyuck plopped down beside her.
‘Can’t you sit anywhere else?’ she complained, shoving him out to the aisle.
Donghyuck barely caught himself before bumping into another student.
‘Tch tch, where are your manners?’ He pulled himself up and dusted his jacket, slumping down next to her again.
‘What do you want?’ she asked, knowing the answer was to annoy her.
But Donghyuck went quiet.
Haewon looked up at him, curious when she received no reply. But all Donghyuck did was stare at her, his signature devil-may-care smirk plastered on his face and for a moment she could swear that she saw his eyes glint.
‘What?’
He narrowed his eyes at her, slightly amused. ‘Did you really forget what day it is today?’
Haewon knew what day it was. It was a Saturday. They were sitting on a bus that was going to take them away from the city to the mountains for their Photography Club field trip. It was the beginning of their mid-semester break and… and…
She rummaged through her mind trying to find the meaning behind Donghyuck’s mischievous smirk that was only growing wider by the second.
And then, like a bolt of lightning, the memory shot to the front of her mind, her eyes widening at the realization. Suddenly, it all made sense– his grin, his tone, the way Donghyuck was clinging to her today and why he was acting so smug since morning. She was sure now that the glint she saw in his eyes earlier was very much real.
Haewon gulped the rising anxiety, shocked at how quickly it took form inside her.
‘So, you remember,’ he said, tilting his head to the side, his tone haughty and amused in equal measure.
She wanted to curse at herself for forgetting the day but her desire to slap the smirk off Donghyuck’s face took precedence making her curse at him instead.
‘I am so hurt,’ he said, rounding his lips into a fake pout enough to rile her up and Haewon had to stop herself from rolling her eyes for the nth time today.
‘What are you planning to do?’ she asked, hating how hoarse her voice sounded.
‘Hm…’ He leaned back in his seat, crossing his hands behind his head and sighed as if reminiscing a fond memory. ‘Just a little fun thing for you.’
Haewon raised an eyebrow. ‘For me or for you?’
‘For you,’ he insisted. ‘Oh, don’t be so scared.’ He nudged her arm.
‘Please,’ she scoffed, hoping her voice wouldn’t betray her this time. ‘The last prank you pulled on me was so pathetic.’
The smile on his face dropped. He ran his fingers through his hair, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek. It was quite unoriginal to hide the keys to her locker for a day but he wasn’t going to admit that here.
‘Don’t worry, I came prepared this time.’
‘Fine.’ She shrugged. ‘Bring it on, then.’
‘Oh, careful with it,’ he said, the smirk returning to his face. ‘You will land yourself in trouble this time, princess.’
‘Go die, will you?’
‘Classy,’ he remarked and got up from the seat, pulling his bag up his shoulder. ‘See you later.’ He winked.
Renjun found Haewon a minute later. Mark, the President of the Photography club, had just finished taking the attendance and they were waiting for the bus driver.
‘Damn, what got you so worked up this early in the morning?’ Renjun asked.
Haewon was seething, a permanent frown on her face. ‘What do you think?’ She crossed her arms and made space for him beside her.
Depositing his bag in the overhead compartment, he sat himself down once the bus started to move.
‘The field trip hasn’t even started yet and you both are fighting already,’ he pointed out.
‘Is it my fault that he is so annoying?’
Renjun shook his head, exhausted. Being Haewon’s best friend wasn’t easy. Not that he didn’t like spending time with her, but there was only so much rant one could hear about a supposed ‘enemy’ before wanting to pull their hair off.
‘Seriously, when will you both end this prank war?’ he asked.
‘He started it!’
‘It’s been two years, Haewon…’
Had it really been that long, she wondered. Haewon could clearly recall the day she joined the Photography Club. It was Renjun who had introduced her to Mark, who was the Vice-President at the time. She had showed her photographs to him and the next day Mark had given her the form to the club.
But she took her time.
The club was infamous for its all-boys members and more so notorious for how the seniors treated the girls who wanted to join. It wasn’t until her junior year, after Mark’s several reassurances and Renjun’s insistence that she joined the club. Even then, she kept to herself, talking to no one except Renjun until she visited the common room one evening after her classes and ran into Donghyuck.
He was too loud— that was the first thing she had noticed about him. He liked attention, that was the second thing she had realized.
Sprawled in the middle of the common room with his photographs on display, he was inviting everyone to take a look, irritated by anyone who didn’t take an interest in them. Donghyuck even had the seniors lining up to see his latest collection.
‘Do you like it that much?’ was the first thing he spoke to her. Haewon hadn’t realized she had been staring at a picture that was tucked away in a corner. She was also the only one who had stopped in front of it. The picture wasn’t anything extraordinary. The camera angle was basic and the scenery was plain— a lake between a thick cover of forest. But what had caught her attention was a boy standing right at the edge of the lake. He was dressed in all white; his hair was messy and his clothes were too loose for him.
‘It’s the only picture with someone in it,’ she said, still looking at the photograph.
She heard Donghyuck chuckle beside her. ‘It’s also the only picture nobody has noticed.’
She looked up at him. He was already looking at her, his eyes focused on her face.
‘I did,’ she said.
Donghyuck was silent for a moment. He wanted to say something, she could tell. The words were right there on his lips but he smiled instead and nodded.
‘You did,’ he agreed.
Haewon never figured out why Donghyuck did what he did next.
A week after that encounter, she had received an email from the college administration regarding her ‘community work credits.’ Haewon had apparently signed up to volunteer at the cafeteria’s kitchen for a month, more specifically for the onion chopping duty.
She had tried explaining to them several times that she had never signed up for such a thing and that there had been a mistake. But the duty was already assigned and withdrawing wasn’t an option, not without a disciplinary action against her.
So, Haewon had to turn up to college at 6 am every day for a month and chop barrels full of onions till her eyes were red and her nose had turned pink. She did get her credits but at the cost of smelling like onions for a month.
It was not until her last day that she had learned who had actually signed her up for the duty. She had overheard the seniors from the photography club congratulate Donghyuck for pulling a successful prank on the new girl. Haewon had never felt so angry and humiliated.
‘It’s a tradition of the club,’ he had told her, when she had confronted him.
Haewon wasn’t sure if she was waiting for an apology or an explanation other than ‘it was a tradition’, but she was sure of one thing— she wanted revenge.
For the next month, she left cut up pieces of onions in Donghyuck’s locker, bag, desk, and practically anything of his that she could get her hands on.
Donghyuck could have left it there. A prank for a prank and call it even. But he was not one to sit silent, specially not when she had managed to replace his mouth freshener with onion juice.
And that’s how it began, a never-ending prank war.
‘Why don’t you tell him to stop?’ she replied to Renjun.
He wanted to remind her that Donghyuck wasn’t particularly the kind to listen to other people but she knew that already. So, instead, he reminded her of a simple solution.
‘You can just end it,’ he said. ‘Let his prank be the last one.’
‘And admit defeat? Seriously, whose side are you really on?’
Renjun could already feel an incoming throbbing in his head. He shut his eyes and pressed two fingers between his eyebrows.
‘Do you have a headache?’
‘Not yet,’ he sighed and turned to her. But her attention had already been stolen away. He followed her eyes to find her gaze on Donghyuck sitting at the front of the bus.
‘You know…’ Renjun started, a knowing smile on his face, ‘sometimes, people who have trouble expressing their true emotions resort to other means to convey them.’
‘What?’
‘Well… you both spend an awful lot of time together,’ he said, crossing his arms. ‘And the rest, staring at each other.’
This definitely caught Haewon’s attention. ‘Who are you talking about?’
‘The one you have been staring at.’
Renjun was crazy. He had gone insane, she thought.
‘You are absolutely mental,’ Haewon spat, a little too loudly, her voice a pitch higher than usual.
He shrugged and leaned back in his seat, satisfied at the reaction he got from her.
‘I have to keep an eye on him,’ she protested, unable to bring her voice down to her normal pitch.
‘Right…’ he said, grinning proudly. ‘What about yesterday then?’
‘What about yesterday?’
‘In the library.’
‘You saw that?’
Renjun had to control himself from laughing.
It wasn’t that Haewon hadn’t caught herself staring at Donghyuck before but it was because he was everywhere she went. How could she not look when she would run into him at every turn.
‘He was checking out the book I wanted.’
‘Mhm…’ Renjun closed his eyes again. ‘I didn’t know you were changing your major to Math.’
‘It was a math book?’ she whispered to herself. All she could recall was how small the book looked in his hands. The way his long fingers tapped along the edges as he pulled himself to get another book from the top shelf. How he had to fold the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows after it got hot inside. Was it even hot inside?
‘No!’ She shook herself awake from the memory. ‘I do not like Lee Donghyuck!’ she said more to herself than to Renjun, who was no longer listening to her rambling.
‘I am not…’ she mumbled and dragged her gaze back to Donghyuck only to catch him already staring at her. The moment their eyes met, he winked at her, a smirk spreading on his lips. Usually, she would have rolled her eyes, but Haewon kept staring, studying his face, wondering why a frown had suddenly appeared on his forehead. He looked concerned for a moment. He jerked his chin up at her but she shook her head, making him scoff and turn away.
Renjun’s words had scared her. Haewon couldn’t sit still for the rest of the journey. She tried reading the book she had brought with her, tried listening to the playlist she had made for the ride, even tried falling asleep like Renjun had but she couldn’t shake Donghyuck out of her mind.
She replayed all their conversations in her head like a movie reel, going over every word they had spoken to each other, every prank they played on each other in the last two years, surprised at how vividly she remembered every memory related to him.
Was Renjun right?
And what if he was? What then? What was she supposed to do? Tell the guy who she swore was her enemy that she likes him?
She could imagine Donghyuck laughing at her. But what terrified her wasn’t the thought of his mockery or his teasing, but the smile that she felt forming on her lips imagining him telling her that he liked her too.
‘What got you blushing?’ Donghyuck asked, creeping up behind her.
Haewon was standing at the edge of the pier, staring at the lake in front of her. They had reached two hours ago, and while the others were surveying the place for getting the best shots, she found herself stationary in front of the lake.
She hadn’t realized that she was blushing. But apparently this is what she did now— blush whenever she thought of Donghyuck.
‘Are you wondering why I haven’t done anything yet?’ he asked.
‘Hm?’ She looked up at him.
‘The prank,’ he reminded her, then paused and narrowed his eyes. ‘Seriously, what are you thinking about?’
‘Nothing,’ she said, pulling herself out of her thoughts. ‘And no, I wasn’t wondering about that. I don’t keep thinking about you, just so you know.’
There it was, the twinkle in his eyes, followed by his smirk and the slight jerk he gave to his chin whenever he wanted to emphasize how proud he was of himself.
‘Lies,’ he said, leaning forward, his arms behind his back. ‘I know you think about me.’
For the first time, Haewon was silent. She had no answer. Donghyuck was so close to her, she could feel his breath on her face.
‘You have moles,’ she said, the words falling out of her mouth on their own. ‘On your cheek.’ Her eyes dazed yet focused on them. How had she never noticed before, and now that she had, her fingers twitched, suddenly wanting to touch them.
But Donghyuck snapped his fingers in front of her face. ‘What’s the matter with you today?’
‘Just an observation,’ she said, quickly turning away from him.
‘The sunset is beautiful, isn’t it?’ he said, breaking the momentary silence.
‘You are here for making small talk?’
‘Just an observation.’ He shrugged innocently.
‘Oh, shut up.’ She rolled her eyes at him.
‘The lake is getting darker too,’ he remarked.
‘Another observation?’
He nodded. ‘I have swum in a river after dark once,’ he began.
‘Okay, and?’ She crossed her arms over her chest, ready to hear another nonsensical thing come out of his mouth.
But Donghyuck’s grin widened, a hint of mischief creeping up in his eyes. ‘It’s terrifying,’ he told her. ‘You can’t see a thing and even a few feet seem like kilometres.’
Haewon froze. Her arms felt heavy and her legs felt stuck in place. She was suddenly too aware of the wooden pier beneath her feet, where it ended and how close she was standing to the edge. This was it. His prank. This was what he had intended to do.
‘Donghyuck, I can’t—’
But before she could even complete, he pushed her into the lake.
The water hit Haewon like a brick, and the last thing she saw was Donghyuck laughing, clapping his hands on the pier before darkness engulfed her. The sound of the splash rang through her ears. For a single, horrible moment she thought that her ear drums would burst and then there was complete silence.
Her hands flailed about her, trying to grab onto something, anything as the water pulled her in. She came up with the initial inertia of the fall but as her legs gave out below her, trying to mimic a swimmer, she realized how futile the attempt really was. She could not see, could not breathe. Her arms were not trained and her body could not float. The sun that appeared just within her reach moments ago, seemed far beyond her as it sunk below the horizon and all that was left around her was darkness.
She swallowed mouthfuls of water with every attempt to come up to the surface, unable to tell which way was up anymore. Her body swayed with the ripples she had created around her and after she had gulped enough water, she stopped struggling. Haewon sunk to the depths as the lake carried her to it and suddenly, she realized how weightless she really was, how easy it was to drown as she allowed the water to swallow her.
On the surface, Donghyuck had stopped laughing. All the jabs had died on his tongue when a minute had passed and Haewon had still not come up to the surface.
He lowered his camera and realized how dark it had really gotten. Panic rose inside him like bile that made his throat feel raw. He tried to gulp but the air refused to enter him. His clammy hands trembled and he felt his face getting warmer and colder at the same time.
‘What’s going on?’ Renjun came up behind him along with Mark, who wanted to set up his camera at the pier.
‘I—’ Donghyuck was lost, unable to comprehend his words. It was just a prank, he told himself. Just a prank, he repeated.
‘Donghyuck…’ Renjun placed a hand on his back, worried.
‘Haewon…’ Donghyuck mumbled and the expression on Renjun’s face was enough to tell him what Haewon had wanted to say before he had pushed her into the water.
Donghyuck, I can’t… swim.
Suddenly, all panic drained out of his body replaced with adrenaline. He removed his jacket and jumped into the lake, dropping his phone and camera into the water with him.
Renjun had gathered a crowd, the students running up to the pier in panic.
Donghyuck shouted her name above the surface but it was pitch black now and the flashlights that the others held up did nothing. He dived deeper into the lake, his fingers reaching out for her. Her hair, her shirt, her arm, anything. But it was of no use.
He reached the depth and felt the soil beneath his feet but Haewon was nowhere. He wanted to cry, to thrash, to yell out her name but the water swallowed his screams. The darkness pressed heavy on him, heavier than the water itself. Even he couldn’t find his way around the lake and he had pushed her into this terrible nightmare.
Where is she? How long had it been?
Forgetting to come up for breath, Donghyuck found himself floating in his own delirium now. Time shifted, working slower as he let the water take over him.
He was drowning but he didn’t know how to stop it anymore.
Haewon, he repeated like a chant in his mind, praying for a miracle he knew he didn’t deserve.
Is this what she felt? Did she call out my name when the depths called to her?
The water made his eyes hurt so he shut them, not that it mattered anyway— the darkness did not differentiate this far below.
But just as he was about to give up, not on her but on himself, he felt someone grab him by his collar and pull. The weight returned first and he felt his limbs heavier than usual, the water scraping against them as he was being dragged out of his own death.
With a gasp, he breathed his first breath as he broke the surface and felt all his senses return to him at once.
‘H-Haewon…’ Donghyuck spit out a mouthful of water, his voice barely a rasp. All he could see were bright lights flashing in his face as he felt two men carry him to the pier. It was not until his back met the wooden surface, that he realized that they were first responders.
‘N-No.’ He tried pushing them aside as the men held him down to check his vitals. ‘Where— Haewon…’ He choked out more water from his nose.
‘Haewon…’ Donghyuck looked about himself, trying to spot her in the crowd. ‘The girl—’ he asked the men, but they weren’t listening to him.
‘Raise his neck,’ one of the EMTs was shouting orders at the others around, while fixing an oxygen mask around Donghyuck’s mouth. ‘Wipe his face.’
Donghyuck hadn’t realized that he was crying. There were tears streaming down his face but no sound other than her name on his lips. Gathering whatever strength remained in him, he pulled himself up and pushed away the blanket the EMT was trying to wrap around his body.
‘Haewon,’ he cried out, vomiting out more water as he stumbled through the crowd without direction, his own clothes dragging him down, till someone yanked him forward by the arm and he fell to his knees.
The crowd parted for him and the sight froze him.
At the edge of the pier, lay Haewon, wrapped in a thick blanket, unresponsive. An EMT was giving her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation while another was administering CPR on her.
‘Rub her feet!’ one of them shouted between breaths and Renjun leaped to action, pulling her shoes off and rubbing the soles of her feet.
‘We have to get her to the hospital,’ the other one yelled.
It had been 5 minutes and Haewon hadn’t woken up.
Donghyuck had to crawl on his arms to reach her. Her face was pale as though she had been bled dry and her arms were a luminescent white, glistening like porcelain under the flashlights.
‘H–Haewon.’ He tapped her cheek but shuddered when his fingers met her ice-cold skin.
‘Get away from her!’ Renjun rasped and the voice cut through Donghyuck’s body like a blade sawing him in half. His throat choked itself and he felt himself submerged under water again, the noises drowning out as he felt a weight press on him.
He looked down at his hands, shivering under his own gaze.
‘I—’ He shook his head, unsure what he wanted to say and to whom. There were fresh tears in his eyes, burning his cheeks on their way down.
Then suddenly, they were taking her away. The EMTs laid her out on the stretcher in front of him and were carrying her away from the pier. Donghyuck followed only to realize a moment later that the EMTs were there for him too.
‘Let me…’ He fell unconscious, his body giving up on him.
Donghyuck woke up in a hospital bed, his eyes blinking wide open the moment he realized where he was. There was an IV drip attached to his arm and a thick blanket covering him.
Mark was beside him the moment he stirred.
‘How are you feeling?’ Mark asked but quickly realized that he wasn’t going to get an answer from Donghyuck. He did not try to reason nor stop him when Donghyuck pulled the drip out of his arm and jumped out of bed. Instead, he showed him the way to Haewon’s ward.
Down the long, deserted corridor was Renjun, sitting with his head between his palms. At the sound of the hurried footsteps, he looked up.
‘Renjun, no!’ Mark had to throw himself in front of Donghyuck as Renjun charged at him.
‘You—’ Renjun’s face was red in a matter of seconds and despite Mark’s pleas, he held Donghyuck by the collar, ready to punch him.
‘Not here.’ Mark held him back. ‘Not in the hospital, please.’
Had it not been for Mark, Renjun would have bashed Donghyuck’s head against the wall. It wasn’t like Donghyuck was fighting back anyway. He had his head bowed the entire time, ready to take whatever punishment.
Renjun shoved him aside. ‘You better stay away from her now!’ he warned before walking away.
Donghyuck picked himself up and staggered towards the ward but his feet stopped him right at the door. He had no intention of going in, not anymore. Slowly, pushing away the gnawing guilt and fear, he peered his head to peek inside the ward through the small glass window in the door.
In the middle of the room was Haewon, still unconscious. Her mouth was intubated for oxygen while a nurse was monitoring her pulse. There was a defibrator on the side and another nurse preparing a machine Donghyuck couldn’t recognize.
‘They are going to shift her to the ventilator,’ he heard Renjun tell Mark behind him.
‘It’s only for one night,’ Mark appeased. ‘To give her lungs a rest.’
There was a pause and he heard a scuffle behind him. He didn’t have to turn around to know that Mark had held Renjun back again.
All Donghyuck did, all he could do was watch. He stood by the little window to her ward and watched her, mute, his chest rising and falling in the same rhythm as hers. There were a thousand thoughts running through his head yet all he could hear was a ringing silence in his ears.
An hour passed or two, he couldn’t tell anymore, when he felt a hand press against his shoulder. Mark was saying something to him and he knew he had to respond but he couldn’t understand the words.
The sun had come up outside when Donghyuck agreed to move, giving way to the doctor.
‘Are you a relative?’ The doctor asked him but words escaped him.
He shook his head.
‘Are you alright?’ was the next thing the doctor asked. Donghyuck’s eyes had sunk into their sockets and his face was ashen white.
‘He is the other drowning patient, doctor,’ the nurse chimed in.
‘Check his pulse,’ the doctor ordered, ‘and administer him an IV.’
‘H-Haewon?’ Donghyuck managed to mumble out, pointing at her ward.
‘She is under sedation,’ the doctor informed him. ‘She will wake up in a few hours.’
Donghyuck nodded and stepped out of the way for the doctor. The door closed on him and a nurse came up behind him to escort him to his own ward but he did not budge, not even an inch. He could hear Mark mutter something to the nurse as he watched them take Haewon off the ventilator.
‘Donghyuck?’
He felt someone shake his shoulders and turned around to see Mark, who had been calling his name for the last minute.
Mark paused before speaking, a sigh escaping him. ‘You need rest. You don’t look well.’
Donghyuck blinked at him, annoyed that Mark had tried to take his attention away from Haewon.
‘Donghyuck?’ He tried again. ‘Are you listening to me?’
Just then, the door to the ward slid open and a nurse peeked her head out. ‘She’s awake,’ she informed them.
Renjun immediately rushed past them to the ward.
Mark waited and held the door open for Donghyuck but he stood frozen in place, his legs refusing to move. He looked down at his feet and shook his head.
‘Hey…’ Mark whispered, leaning down to his eyes level.
But Donghyuck turned his back to him, silent. He did not turn around till he heard Mark step inside and close the door shut.
Haewon was awake, talking. Renjun was sitting next to her bed, his hands holding hers. Mark was talking to the doctor, and the nurse was checking her vitals. When she laughed at something Renjun had whispered to her, Donghyuck felt his own lips curve into a smile.
Then, her eyes fell on him and Donghyuck suddenly felt himself transported to the bottom of that lake again, drowning. Shame rose inside him, hot and suffocating. He felt embarrassed, undeserving to be even standing there but he couldn’t look away. A tear rolled down his cheek and he knew she could see it but he just couldn’t look away, not yet.
_
That was three months ago and the last time that Donghyuck had looked at Haewon.
He had disappeared from her life.
Haewon wasn’t sure what she had expected from him, but his silence was not it. The doctors kept her in the hospital for another week to treat her for pneumonia. She had Mark and Renjun by her side throughout the treatment but she never saw Donghyuck peek his head through the door again.
She wanted to ask Renjun about him. But his silence made her angry, and then, worried. On the day of her discharge, she mentioned his name and saw Renjun visibly stiffen.
‘He is gone,’ Renjun told her. ‘He got himself discharged the day you woke up.’
‘Is he alright?’ she asked, not knowing what else to say.
‘I haven’t spoken to him if that’s what you want to know.’ Renjun was being cruel but Donghyuck had almost killed his best friend and he couldn’t get past that.
A week later, Haewon returned to college only to learn that Donghyuck had withdrawn his name from the Photography club. He stopped showing up to their shared classes; started eating his lunch elsewhere. His locker had been emptied and all his photographs from the common room were gone. She knew he was around, but Haewon never ran into Donghyuck again.
The Photography Club Exhibition had to be cancelled and Mark had to deal with the Student Council because of the accident during the field trip. Haewon had wished that Mark would allow her to attend the meetings. She was sure Donghyuck was there but Mark had insisted on keeping her away from the trouble.
She had considered calling him, several times. But what would she have said? Donghyuck wasn’t particularly a friend. He was… what was he to her? The only time she had texted him was four months ago and it was to lure him into the Dean’s office for a prank.
She didn’t want him to apologize. All she wanted was him… around.
The first time Haewon saw Donghyuck again was on the day of their first final year exam. He came in late and left early. His eyes were swollen and his face seemed dull. He had lost weight.
Her own anger surprised her that day. He knew she was sitting in the same class. Her eager eyes were set on him, following his every movement, yet he never looked up to find her, not once. Two years, two fucking years they had known each other and not once did he bother to speak to her.
Perhaps it was her fault, Haewon thought, to assume that she had a place in Donghyuck’s life.
The exams got over and their results were out. They were going to graduate from college.
It was the eve of their convocation, and Haewon was sitting on the couch of an unknown house between people she wished weren’t there and sipping on whiskey she couldn’t swallow.
Renjun was dancing in the distance, occasionally singing farewell songs with his friends. He had tried to call her to the dance floor at every song change.
‘Are you going to sit there the entire night?’ he yelled at her. ‘It’s our farewell party!’
‘I am not feeling too well,’ she lied and slipped away from the loud music, setting her glass aside. Her head was throbbing from the beat anyway and the number of drunk people increasing by the second.
She finally found some quiet on the second floor of the house but the moment she turned down the hallway, Haewon froze.
It was dark and she could barely see two feet ahead of her but she could recognize Donghyuck’s silhouette even with her eyes closed.
Haewon couldn’t tell how long they stood facing each other in silence. Donghyuck was the first to move, walking into the light. For some unexpected reason, she wished he would have his usual smirk on his fae, the smug grin that had made her roll her eyes a hundred times in the past. But Donghyuck looked tired. Somehow, the three months had aged him and she felt strange in his presence.
‘Haewon,’ he whispered in greeting but his voice echoed in her ears as though it had travelled the length of an ocean to reach her.
‘Keeping well?’ she asked, her own voice strange to her.
He shrugged.
‘How was your result?’ She could see the effort it took him to reply.
‘It was alright,’ he said, sighing immediately after.
Haewon nodded, not knowing what to say or do with herself. Donghyuck was finally looking at her but they were not the same eyes that she had perfected to read. They had been in each other’s presence for more than five minutes and he had not tried to annoy her, not try to irritate her nor make her curse. There were no sarcastic remarks on his lips and no mischievous twinkle behind his eyes.
He stood in front of her like a wretched mirror, and Haewon couldn’t tell if she was hoping to find him or spot her own reflection in him.
‘Do—'
‘I am leaving,’ he cut her off, stepping closer. ‘Tomorrow morning… I am leaving for US to continue my study.’
Suddenly, the music wasn’t too loud and the noise was barely a whisper in her ears. She stared at him, silent, and he did not shy away from her gaze this time.
‘You are leaving?’ she asked.
He nodded his head. ‘I won’t come back,’ he said and paused.
‘You won’t stay for the convocation?’
Unexpectedly, Donghyuck scoffed, but he looked defeated, hurt somehow. He pulled his gaze down to the floor. ‘No, I won’t stay for the convocation.’
‘Right…’
‘I have to go,’ he said but did not move.
‘Of course, packing?’
‘Packing,’ he echoed and did not wait to hear her goodbye or say his own. He walked past her, leaving her in the hallway.
Haewon waited till she heard him climb down the steps then walked down the hallway and found her way to the roof. The cold air relaxed her senses and she sat herself down on the ledge, her feet dangling off the side.
She turned around when she heard the door open. It was Mark and strangely she was grateful that it was only him.
‘Beer?’ he asked, raising the two pints in his hands. He sat beside her on the ledge and passed one of the bottles to her.
‘Not a huge fan of beer,’ she said, but took the pint from his hand.
‘Try this one,’ Mark urged her. His own bottle was half empty and he took another sip. ‘Don’t like dancing?’
‘The music is too loud,’ she made an excuse.
‘It is,’ he agreed.
‘Sorry for the exhibition by the way,’ she said. ‘I know you were looking forward to it.’
But Mark waved a hand at her. ‘Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t your fault.’
Haewon wanted to disagree. The cancellation was a result of a prank war that she was as much a part of as Donghyuck was. But she nodded nonetheless, taking a sip of the beer.
‘So, what are your plans after college?’ he sighed, leaning back on his palms.
‘Uh… I don’t know,’ she replied. ‘I have been just trying to…’
‘…stay alive?’
This made her laugh. ‘Right. Just trying to stay alive these days.’
‘Donghyuck has it figured out,’ she mumbled after a pause.
Mark raised an eyebrow.
‘He is leaving for US,’ she told him. ‘Tomorrow.’
‘Ah,’ he exclaimed. ‘I heard. Pretty impressive, don’t you think?’
Haewon feigned a smile. Mark was watching her closely. ‘It is. I am happy for him.’
‘Are you?’
The question hung in the air and Haewon stared at it, speechless. ‘I don’t know what you mean,’ she said and Mark let it go.
The wind caught her hair and Haewon found herself chugging the pint. It was much easier to gulp after the whiskey she had been sipping since evening.
‘Did he ever tell you?’ Mark asked once she had set the empty bottle between them. He smiled upon seeing her confused eyes. ‘Really? He never told you?’ he asked, shaking his head at the realization.
‘What are you talking about?’
He downed his own bottle before turning to her. ‘Do you remember how it started?’ he asked her. ‘The pranks between you two.’
Of course, she remembered. She remembered it like it was just yesterday.
‘He had signed me up for cutting onion!’ Haewon yelled, groaning at the memory. ‘I smelled like onions for a whole month. A whole month!’ Her voice had returned with fervour. ‘I did what I had to— take revenge. I left pieces of onion in his locker for the next month. It was hilarious. You should have seen how annoyed he got every time. But he could have left it at that. Call it even. But you know how he is. So stubborn. So annoying.’ She groaned again and folded her arms across her chest.
Mark sighed, his grin more amused than earlier. ‘Didn’t you ever wonder why Donghyuck did what he did?’
Haewon had wondered that before. In fact, she had spent countless hours wondering just about that.
‘It was a club tradition?’ she ventured. ‘That’s what he told me. Besides, it’s because he is… him. He is Donghyuck. He plays pranks on people, right?’
‘That’s true,’ Mark replied. ‘But have you ever seen him play a prank on anybody else in the last two years?’
‘Uh—’ Haewon was ready to argue and was certain that an instance would just come to her lips. But she couldn’t recall any. She stared at him, blankly. Mark was right. Donghyuck had not played a single prank on anyone except her since the start of their prank war.
‘When you joined the club,’ Mark began, ‘the seniors had a bet on making you cry.’
‘What?’
‘It was a tradition among them. We all went through the hazing. They did not stop till they made us freshmen cry. Yes,’ he added, seeing Haewon’s incredulous expression. ‘I was made to clean every leaf on the campus ground. I was exhausted by the end of the day and cried by nightfall. Donghyuck was smart. He faked his tears in the first minute of cleaning the toilets and they let him off the hook.’
‘Renjun never told me,’ she said.
‘He joined later, like you, and was spared because of his father,’ Mark told her. ‘I’m sure he doesn’t know about it either, or the extent of it. But then you joined. Donghyuck knew what was going to happen. I still remember that day. He had stormed into the club committee meeting. I had never seen him that serious.
‘The deal was to make you cry. The seniors wouldn’t have backed down unless they saw tears in your eyes. He convinced them that he would take care of it and made them promise not to meddle if he succeeded. That’s why he signed you up for cutting onions in the kitchen.
A memory surged forward in Haewon’s mind— Donghyuck had visited the kitchen every day for the first week of her duty with the seniors lingering behind him.
She tumbled the memory in her head, trying to recall a certain detail.
‘You cried eight days into it,’ Mark helped her.
And suddenly all the pieces fit together. It was a Monday and it was raining. The humidity had rendered the ventilation useless in the kitchen. The smell was unbearable and nothing helped, not the open windows, nor the scarf she had wrapped around her mouth and nose. That was the day. She had tears in her eyes from cutting up onions.
Donghyuck did not visit the kitchen again nor did she see any of the seniors around. She had cried. His part of the deal had been completed, saving her from who knows what the seniors were planning for her.
Her thoughts took her back to the first time she had met him, to the photograph tucked away in the corner of the common room, to the boy in that picture. That was the Donghyuck she had met and that was the same Donghyuck that she had known for the last two years too.
Haewon spent the night stuck in time on the roof. Somewhere in the middle, Mark had left and Renjun had found her, though he did not stay, not for long at least. The sky had started to change colours behind her, the light of the sun pushing its way to her. She closed her eyes to feel its warmth, a slow smile spreading across her face when its first ray touched her. She turned around, suddenly grateful at how easily she could hold the sun in her eyes.
It was time. She had to start getting ready for her convocation in an hour. But instead of taking the bus back to her dorm, she hailed a cab to the airport.
‘Can you drive a little faster?’ Haewon urged the cab driver, her fingers fidgeting over Donghyuck’s contact in her phone. She had called him seven times already but he had his phone turned off. ‘How much longer?’ she asked, groaning seeing the time.
There was only flight leaving for US that day and it was leaving in thirty minutes.
‘Almost there, madam,’ the driver told her, which did little to calm her down.
Haewon hurried out of the cab the moment it stopped, paying more cash than the bill. She waded through the sea of people, searching for an empty gate and settling on the least crowded one. It didn’t matter anyway because she sneaked past the queue amidst the curses from the people lined up. An elderly couple eventually relented and let her cut.
‘Thank you.’ She bowed to them and presented the dummy ticket she had bought in the cab earlier to the security officer.
She was in. But this was the easy part. Haewon glanced at the clock. She had about fifteen minutes to make it to Donghyuck before his flight. Her desperate eyes raked the area, frantically trying to locate the security check but gasped seeing the longest line she had ever witnessed. All the counter were full with queues looping around each other.
There was no way she could make it to him in time if she waited her turn. There was only one option— make a run for it.
Without thinking, she sprinted across the airport lobby to the checkpoint and jumped over the first barricade, picking up pace as she heard the alarms go off behind her.
An officer whistled to alert the others as she whizzed past the line and broke through the automatic doors, ducking just in time to avoid the baton that the inspector had swung at her head.
‘Stop right there!’ She heard him yell.
But Haewon didn’t have the time to look back.
‘Move!’ she shrieked at the people, who leaped out of her way.
Jumping over the sea of security tape stands, she reached the front and squeezed herself through the gap between two body scanners, shoving a security personnel in the process and almost injuring a passenger.
‘I am sorry,’ she yelled out but came to a sudden halt just a few metres away. Across the lounge were at least twenty uniformed men with their batons in their hands.
‘Don’t move!’ she heard the officers shout behind her.
She squeezed the side of her stomach to ease the stabbing pain and looked up at the board, catching her breath for a moment. Gate no. 27, she read. It was on the other side, past the wall of officers, who had slowly begun to close in on her from all directions.
‘Get to the ground!’ An officer slowly stepped forward.
Unexpectedly, Haewon grinned. She had to hand it to them on how quickly they gathered forces, how swift they were to surround her. But unfortunately for them, she knew exactly how to get out of this situation. In fact, she even had practice.
A year ago, Mark had arranged a gallery visit for the photography club. At the end of the evening, Donghyuck had come up to her with a painting in his hand.
‘This is for you,’ he had said, tossing the portrait to her.
‘What is this?’ she had asked.
‘I got it from the back room.’
‘The back room?’
She had held it out, turning it over in her hands only to realize it was the centre piece that had been slated for auction starting at 90 million won.
‘Oh?’ Donghyuck had slapped a hand to his face, theatrically, feigning innocence. ‘Should I not have told the security that I saw a girl with your description carrying it out?’
‘You what?!’
She had to run down the street for thirteen blocks with the security chasing after her even after she had hurled the painting back at them.
Haewon closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. It is just like that time, she told herself, making sure to curse Donghyuck.
‘Put your hands behind your head,’ the officer ordered, approaching her with a gun in his hand.
But Haewon shot her eyes open and let out a guttural scream, flailing her arms around her and reaching into her pocket mimicking the motion of pulling out a weapon.
‘Everyone down!’ the officer yelled immediately and she jumped over them as they flung themselves to the floor.
Laughing, Haewon ran away, her hair flying behind her. There were sirens going off in the distance and caddies chasing after her yet all she could hear was Donghyuck’s laughter in her ears imagining how he would react after she tells him what she did.
25, 26… Gate no. 27, she spotted.
But the moment she reached the gate, the smile on her face disappeared. It was empty, not a soul in sight except a lady at the counter. The gasp caught in her throat and she shook her head, checking the number again.
Gate no. 27, she confirmed, confusion pricking at her.
‘The flight to the US…’ Haewon stumbled to the counter.
‘Flight 78291?’ the lady asked in her perfect voice. ‘I’m sorry but you missed it, ma’am.’
Blood drained out of her face, her knees close to buckling. She nodded quickly, trying to regain control of herself but it was taking everything in her to not cry right there at the counter.
The lady was offering alternatives, connecting flights and reservations but all Haewon did was thank her.
The airport security finally caught up to her. She did not protest, nor struggle as the officers handcuffed her wrists behind her back. They detained her in the holding cell at the airport before she was transferred to the local police station in the evening, where she was questioned and searched thoroughly.
Renjun had to leave the convocation to bail her out and it was past midnight before she was allowed to leave but not without a hefty fine and a warning.
She followed him back to his car, grateful that he had kept his thoughts and his scolding to himself. It was going come, she knew that much but not tonight.
He drove her back to her dorm, offering to stay the night but Haewon could not take any more favours from him.
‘I’ll be fine,’ she told him, her eyes half drooping. ‘Thank you.’
‘Go on in,’ he said. ‘Get some sleep, alright?’
She dragged herself to the staircase and climbed the steps one at a time till she reached the third floor. Donghyuck was gone. Sure, she could call him, message him but he was gone. What a fucking day, she sighed to herself but her mind was still alert, pulling her to their last conversation, to a particular moment after he had told her that he was leaving. The pause after his words, his expectant eyes and the defeated look hearing her reply.
Should she have said something then, she tried to reason. Was that the chance Donghyuck had given her, testing her heart.
She shook the feeling away, too tired to form coherent thoughts anymore but the moment she turned the corner, her feet suddenly stilled as her eyes landed on the door to her apartment.
Under the flickering light bulb, curled up on the floor beside three suitcases, was Donghyuck.
Haewon scoffed at the sight of him sleeping peacefully against her door. And she had every right to be angry too. Annoyed, irritated, wanting to kick him in the shins before cursing at him and maybe pushing him away. She had been awake for more than 24 hours, had missed her convocations, was almost shot and had started her own criminal record, and there he was, sleeping like a baby.
But Haewon found herself smiling and wasn’t surprised.
Hearing her footsteps, Donghyuck stirred, quickly rising to his feet. He stared at her and she waited. His lip quivered and he gulped, stalking forward, a frown on his forehead.
‘Why didn’t you ask me to stay?’ he cried out. A tear rolled down his cheek and in the light Haewon could see that he hadn’t slept the night too.
‘You were never going to see me again.’ His voice was hoarse, each word grating his throat. ‘And you were fine with that?!’
She wanted to laugh at his accusation and perhaps she did too because Donghyuck fumbled, his expression growing incredulous.
‘Is this funny to you?’ he rasped. ‘After everything we have been through—’
‘Ugh,’ Haewon groaned and closed the distance between them, slapping him on his shoulder.
He stumbled backwards, almost tripping over the suitcases. ‘What was that for?’
‘Who do you think you are, huh?’ she yelled, smacking him in the chest this time.
‘Ow, that hurt!’
‘Good, it should,’ she gritted out. ‘You deserve it.’
‘Wh— what did I do?’
She scoffed in disbelief. ‘I’ll tell you what you did!’ she spat, her finger pointed right at him. ‘First you push me into the lake, almost killing me, then disappear from my life like nothing happened.’ She pushed him again, hitting the same spot. ‘I don’t see you for three months. Three fucking months, and when you do see me, you tell me that you’re leaving forever. Then, I have to learn from Mark out of all people about your deal with the seniors two years ago?’
Donghyuck bowed his head at this but caught her wrist just in time before receiving another shove. ‘Haewon…’
‘Don’t you dare ‘Haewon’ me. Why is your phone off, huh? I called you so many times!’
‘I—’ He was scrambling for words.
‘You what?!’
‘I—you called me?’ There they were again, his expectant eyes.
‘Oh, I did more than just call you, Lee Donghyuck,’ she groaned again, struggling in his grip but he held her close. ‘You wanted to leave, right? Leave. Go.’ She pushed him. ‘Leave. Why are you here?’
Her arms were hitting his chest, his shoulder, anything they could grab onto but Donghyuck was stronger and Haewon was exhausted.
‘Haewon…’ he almost had to yell out, trying to placate her and finally as her body gave out and she broke down crying, he pressed her to his chest, engulfing her in his arms.
‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered, tightening his grip around her. ‘I am sorry.’
‘How could you?!’ She gave one last fight before melting into him.
‘I know… I am sorry.’ He soothed her back for her, swallowing back his own tears. Slowly, he pulled away, holding her face in his hands. ‘I was… I don’t know… I wasn’t thinking. I thought I had lost you, Haewon. You don’t know… I couldn’t bear to look at you after what I had done,’ he choked out, wiping the tears from her cheeks.
‘I thought I had lost you too,’ she whispered back, pressing her forehead against his.
Donghyuck let her cry, his own tears mixing with hers.
‘Do you still want to leave?’ she asked, her fingers still clutching his shirt.
It was his turn to laugh. He pulled away, shaking his head and when he saw her smile, he leaned down to press his lips to hers.
