Sometimes I Just Want To Become One With My Bed.

This user is autistic and hates terfs and maps.

[absollnk]

Can we talk about this kid

[vmeemo]

You wanna talk about that kid? Lets talk about this kid.

Good fuck, what were the translators smoking?

[absollnk]

This one also deserves a mention but damn what the fuck was up with yours

[bug-gif]

[nebulaniggatry]

[hamletthedane]

There are n*zis on campus rn and a student brought out like a 1997 boombox and started blasting Taking The Hobbits to Isengard every time they tried to say something.

“Those who do not share our genes -THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS - THE MASTER RACE - TO ISENGARD TO ISENGARD - AND I BELIEVE - THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS THE-”

[the44thpilot]

Chaotic good

[curiousobsession101]

In Jewish tradition, one of our holidays is called Purim. It celebrates the defeat of an antisemitic political advisor to a king who liked to prowl the streets ranting his hatred. Part of the story of Purim involves the people being ranted at inventing a special kind of noisemaker to drown him out. Basically what I’m saying is this student is following a grand tradition whether they realize it or not and they should be proud.

[whisperwhisk]

not only is Purim about drowning out fascists, it’s about doing so in the most absurd and embarrassing ways possible! fascism thrives on an aura of invincibility, and it’s hard to hold onto that when people keep making farting sounds every time you open your mouth

so really, weaponized memes are PERFECTLY in keeping with the Purim spirit

[disease-danger-darkness-silence]

*slams fist on table* NOW THIS is the kind of religious/cultural tradition I can get behind! 

[kaijuno]

[kittykattaffy]

Yeah, that doesn't prevent pregnancy.

[kaijuno]

Dfgajagakala it’s so you don’t get a UTI 😂

[jabberwockypie]

*facepalm* So, given that sex ed in the US is a tire fire:

Vagina-having people have a shorter urethra, which means we’re more prone to UTIs because the bacteria doesn’t have to travel as far to get up into your bladder and cause a problem.

Which means if you’re exposing your bits to bacteria (as with sex), peeing will flush out bacteria in the urethra. (Urine isn’t actually sterile - that’s a myth - but you’re *supposed to* have a little bit of bacteria - that’s how bodies work. But it still flushes things out that shouldn’t be there.)

Oh! You should ALSO pee after you masturbate, especially if it involves penetration with fingers/toys/etc

[jabberwockypie]

So I’ve blocked like five transphobes on this post, which I feel should have been relatively uncontroversial.

If you’re one of the people saying “You meant ‘women’”, fuck you. I meant “people who have a vagina, regardless of their gender or lack thereof”, and you can go fuck yourself with a cactus.

And you should pee afterward, so you don’t get a UTI.

[arctic-hands]

[Image Description: a photograph of a wolf in on top of a rock, looking over the forest below. In orange 3D text it says "ALWAYS PEE AFTER SEX". Majestic. End ID]

[prostheticknowledge]

Dildo Generator

Online 3D experiment by Ikaros Kappler which is described as a “Extrusion/Revolution Generator” ….

Created with three.js, you can alter the bezier curves and angle of the form, and is designed with 3D printing in mind (models can be exported and saved, as well as calculated weight in silicone).

Try it out for yourself (if you wish) here

[johnnystompanado-deactivated201]

the time is now

[susaine-mcswiney-deactivated201]

hell yeah

[defibrinationsyndrome]

ah yes, the ol rolling pin dilda

[spiffymuffin]

[caterjunes]

it’s called the purple ramjet

[jolys]

which end do you start with? the answer is yours to decide

[grillmasterxbbq]

shove a vase up your ass

[lord-kitschener]

not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls

[fan-troll]

i call it the matterhorn

[poultrymancy]

cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through

[darklightescape]

i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises

[teapotsahoy]

of course this is the post where tumblr is like “Seems sfw to me!”

[furiousfran]

I call this one the Megahorny

Just cram an entire table lamp up there

[ifitaintbaroque]

Me every time this post crosses my dash:

[rosegardenmassacre-deactivated2]

My laugh at this post is auditory evidence of just how sick I still am.

[ripe]

[senorcyborg]

This is the larval stage of a Funko Pop.

[hexpress]

insult the good name of axlotls once again and not even allah will be able to protect you from the fury of my shoe to your head

[aranealesbian-deactivated202104]

rlly sexy of squinoa to exist 

[aranealesbian-deactivated202104]

i love when square puts two characters from each game in spinoffs and its usually canon couples like tidus and yuna, squall and rinoa, and then they also stick cloud and sephiroth in there together which is rlly iconic 

[aloverii-deactivated20191118]

✨Happy 5th Anniversary FNAF!!! ✨ - One of the best memories of mine come from this game and I remember how excited I was to improve my art so I can be a great fnaf artist. Ironic how I still followed that passion but this game motivated me so much when it came to art.  And I still cherish it 💖💖

[incorrectsonicquotes]

Julie-Su: “Did we pay the gas bill?”

Knuckles: “Yes we payed the gas bill. I remember ‘cause the check number ended in sixty-nine and we high-fived.”

[saviourofawakingworld-deactivat]

John Egbert is beautiful!

Jake English is handsome!

We give all the Strider bros appreciation together, these two are bros too! Best buds and they would ABSOLUTELY act brotherly towards each other in an adorably familial and protective way y'know???

I just need to see them interacting more! They would love each other just as much if not more canonically than the Striders do fanonly. Thanks for coming to my essay.

[saviourofawakingworld-deactivat]

After the last upd8 you guys BETTER be listening to this post

[cybercataclysm]

Egglishes deserve love and respect send tweet

[magic-vinny]

Jamie please use some critical thinking skills challenge

[genus-corvidae]

*Slams a bottle of lime juice* last night I dreamed that my dad was helping run a government program and there was a bunch of subjects in it with different power sets and one was a rabbit that could change its size and species and I loved it and the program got shut down so they had to kill it and I hacked my dads computer as a spider bc I was in the program too I guess and got to take it home it was some nier automata thing it was so damn wild but it was rly good

amazing! also did this have anything to do with the lime juice or do you just have odd taste in beverages

[kiingcorobo-deactivated20201201]

Would have voted for the Millennial Tree costume if he didnt look so fuckin pale 😬😬😬

( start shit on this and get insta-blocked, if ur itching to say "its a cookie" so bad keep scrolling bc i explained 1828292929 times how that "excuse" doesnt work )

[yourocdoeswhat]

Having OCs is the best because all my headcanons for them are confirmed

[yourocdoeswhat]

I know I made this post but #mood

[meefling]

You Aren’t Boring I Just Suck At Conversations I’m Sorry: a novel by me

[phantomcat94]

I’m Not Ignoring You I Just Don’t Know What To Say: a sequel by me

[anartisticanomaly]

I Feel Like I have Nothing Interesting To Say So I Don’t Say Anything At All And I’m Really Sorry Don’t Stop Talking To Me: the trilogy.

[differenttriumphdragon]

They're literally the same person.

[an-inspired-eternity]

his name in japanese is onion

[differenttriumphdragon]

See? Same person.