He never thought to find Skywalker so truly devoid of hope in the very cause he had championed throughout his youth. Kylo wasn’t sure how to feel now, honestly. After all, isn’t this what he should have wanted? For Luke to renounce his old ways and finally follow his father’s lost legacy? Yet there was anger beneath it all, for why couldn’t he have come to this conclusion sooner, and saved so much bloodshed? Not to mention suspicion, at such a quick change of heart.
“Really, is it so simple, Uncle? You spend years training pupils in the way of the light. Now you want to…’sample’ the dark side? It is not a path to be taken lightly, you of all people know that well. So tell me, why should I even trust your words? It’s very possible that this is some Resistance plot to get you aboard a First Order ship.”
Even as he said the words, Kylo found it unlikely. Skywalker had isolated himself entirely, from everyone and everything. That included the galaxy’s conflicts. Ren doubted he would be so easily pulled back into such matters, even considering his loyalties to old friends.
“It sounds like you’ve given this some thought, and yet you know how drastic it sounds. Tell me, why didn’t you come to us then, if you felt this way?” He spoke through gritted teeth, surprised at the bile rising fast to his tongue. “Why would you put everyone through years of wondering, of anguish, only to turn to me at the last moment? Perhaps you’re more selfish than I ever realized.”
The old man shook his head solemnly, and there was the brief bit of grief showing on his creased face. So much had been built up over the years, but nothing stung as great as the harsh words of someone in his family. Here was this younger member of his family, someone he had treasured deeply with care, saying such venom-slung words that were cutting deeper than any saber.
“No... I should have listened to you, all those years ago. I should have changed how
I was teaching the rest of you, before they were killed for my ways of teaching in the Light.
I saw only one side, not the other. I should have seen how much it was killing you inside.
It’s no wonder you would go listening to another powerful being, like Snoke. It’s no wonder
you’ve wanted to see me dead all this time, and I fully accept that.”
“Why would I come to my senses so quickly, after everything I thought was
right - was wrong? Changes do not happen so fast, anyone could tell you that.
I was so sure that I had done everything I could, Kylo... I see now I was wrong.
You wouldn’t want a broken man at your feet, asking to join, would you?
I doubt Snoke would. No, I’m accepting in myself what I should have back
when I fought your grandfather. When his neck was at the edge of my blade,
and there was that want to kill him, but I stayed my hand. I showed forgiveness
when I should have murdered the one who ruined so much of my life. He was
going to take your mother, kill all of my friends, and if any of that was going to
happen; It should have been done by my own hands, not my father’s.
Not the Emperor’s, either, for that matter... Why would you think trying
to find myself as something as selfish, when it was merely waiting to
come about. I was caging this away, out of fear. Surely, you understand that.
No, I know you do.”
⦓ Rey... Why do you come to me, now. I’m no good for
this... for what you want. I’m not that man of your dreams.
I cannot be the hero the rest of you see. ⦔
He recalled his words to her, ones that had immediately turned her away from him with disgust. She had ran, not fled under his command, but he didn’t need to say that for anyone to get. It was as clear as day that he wasn’t the same man from thirty years ago.
| @destruxi |
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