chris is a predominately โdelete this immediately or my lawyer will be in contactโ kind of guy but with some more than incidental โletโs do it baby i know the lawโ tendencies.
was Chris's family accepting outright when he came out or was it a process? what are some things that still trigger his dysphoria? did he have more positive experiences with his endo(s) than negative? what's his most favorite compliment that sticks with him/gives him euphoria for weeks ๐๐๐
WAS CHRISโS FAMILY ACCEPTING WHEN HE CAME OUT OR WAS IT A PROCESS?ย ย it was a process for both of his parents ,ย ย but one of them handled it so better than the other.ย ย ย
robert bradyย definitelyย had reservations when chris first came out and tried to ...ย ย god ,ย ย i hate to say โ talk him out of it โย ย but thatโs what he tried to do ,ย ย because robert has always purported to know what is and what isnโt in chrisโs best interest ,ย ย and he certainly had some misguided conceptions about what sort of options chris would have if he were to choose to transition.ย ย there were definitely some talks aboutย " how lonely and painfulย a lifestyle like that is.ย โย gag.ย ย and given that he knew how big chrisโs plans were for himself ,ย ย he definitely wouldโve expressed to chris that he felt he wasย โ setting himself up for failure before youโve even had a chance.ย โย ย
however ,ย ย robert definitely regrets having said any of that to chris ,ย ย for two reasons:ย ย he could not have been more wrong ,ย ย and he wouldโve seen that in how chris just continued to go from strength to strength to strength the further he got into his transition.ย ย not like robert wasnโt happy to see his son thrive ,ย ย but he was very disappointed in himself for having never noticed just how much chrisโs dysphoria seemed to hold him back ,ย ย and for not supporting chris from the get go.ย ย furthermore ,ย ย he really feels as though he resigned chris to the mentality of never being able to rely on anyone else if he wanted to live as his true ,ย ย unadulterated self.ย ย in his mind ,ย ย if chris had received nothing but encouragement right off the bat ,ย ย he probably wouldnโt work himself to death to prove himself to everyone he meets in the abject refusal of letting his transness obstruct him in getting anything he wants.ย ย and heโs not entirely wrong ,ย ย and iโm glad he feels bad about it.ย
for deborah ,ย ย the task was more of learning how to best encourage her son.ย ย ย when it came to accepting him ,ย ย that wasnโt much of an issue.ย ย however ,ย ย she had never parented any of herย with extreme gender roles before.ย ย neither of the brady parents did.ย ย so it became an issue simply because it had never been an issue ,ย ย as in ...ย ย it had never mattered before ,ย ย so why does it matter now ?ย ย she thought for a while thought that her indifference counted as support ,ย ย but after seeing just how important it was to chris ,ย ย ย and realizing that he shouldnโt have to shoulder all of that alone ,ย ย well ...ย ย sheโs always been a very involved mother.ย ย ย
she took a real ,ย ย genuine interest.ย ย she was the one who gave him his name.ย ย ย ย she asked questions ,ย ย she did her own research ,ย ย ย she was very critical of how robert chose to handle chrisโs coming out and it put a serious strain on their marriage until robert got his head on straight about the whole thing ,ย ย and she made the family switch churches when she caught wind of some of what the congregation had to say.ย ย sheโs now a very informed ,ย ย and actively supportive mother.ย ย probably has her own twitter account and yells with the capslock on at the transphobes in his mentions.
CONTINUED UNDER THE CUT.ย
WHAT ARE SOME THINGS THAT CAN TRIGGER HIS DYSPHORIA?ย ย sometimes heโll catch a look at himself in the mirror and his mind will manifest aย โfeminineโ figure that he genuinely doesnโt have much of anymore ,ย ย or really at all.ย ย itโs mostly to do with how big his thighs are ,ย ย because heโs always had pretty big thighs,ย ย and that one constant can throw off his whole groove.ย ย itโs just one of those things he hasnโt really been able to shake ,ย ย yet ,ย ย and heโll get kind of self conscious about his thighs and the proportion they project.ย ย one of the things heโs done to combat it is focus a lot of his workout into his legs so that theyโre more toned.ย ย
and although heโs a public figure who has never shied away from talking about the fact that heโs trans ,ย ย who has spent a lot of time defending it and explaining it even when he really shouldnโt have to ,ย ย he still gets kind of itchyย when people heโs not particularly close or people who he knows he hasnโt ever discussed it with personally just suddenly introduce it into conversation as a known thingย (ย even though it is ,ย ย and heโs not ashamed about itย )ย ย because he is very skeptical of people and will rarely trust them withย their perspectives of his identity.ย ย ย
it teleports him back into college when he was so young ,ย ย and so much more insecure in his masculinity ,ย ย and very concerned aboutย โpassingโย in the context of not only comfort ,ย ย but also safety.ย ย chris ,ย ย now ,ย ย is very uncomfortable with the concept ofย ย โpassingโย ย because of how limited he felt as a young man who was so consumed with the outward projection of his masculinity and how sometimes he needed to perform a certain way just to feel accepted in particular circles ,ย ย or at the very least safe.ย ย he rejects it ,ย ย but not without the understanding that he was very privileged to have the resources and support system that allowed for him to pursue his transition to the extent that he has.ย
DID HE HAVE MORE POSITIVE EXPERIENCES WITH HIS ENDO(S) THAN NEGATIVE?ย ย yes ,ย ย more positive ,ย ย because if he ever felt like he was receiving anything less than what he wanted or needed in terms of care ,ย ย he moved on and found someone else.ย ย if you think chris upholds such an exhausting level of expectation with respect to caliber and ethics now ,ย ย imagine him painstakingly researching endos in his late teens / early twenties when one of the most important milestones of his life and his body were the issues on the table.ย ย he didnโt cut corners in his research ,ย ย and he expected no less from his doctors in their application.ย ย furthermore ,ย ย his parents spared absolutely no expense in making sure that he was well received and well taken care of.
this is kind of besides the point but i love this fact about him:ย chris actually declined athletic scholarshipsย (ย basketball and softballย )ย to multiple division one universities across the country when he was about to go on to college ,ย ย including boston university where he would receive his undergrad on an academic scholarship ,ย ย ย because it was made apparent to him that he wouldnโt be able to fully undergo hormone therapy at the rate and and to the extent that he wanted to while he was playing for a school ,ย ย and nothing was going to stop him from doing that.
WHATโS HIS MOST FAVORITE COMPLIMENT THAT STICKS WITH HIM/GIVES HIM EUPHORIA FOR WEEKS?ย ย ย chris is fucking vain and shameless for praise in general so any kind of flattery about his appearance ,ย ย whether particular to his masculinity or not ,ย ย is going to put him in a state.ย ย ย and god ,ย ย for someone who is such a bitch about putting labels on things or getting serious with people ,ย ย he has gotten so Hard every time heโs referred to asย โ my boyfriend โย orย โmy man.โย ย it does something to him.ย ย heโs definitely one of thoseย โ donโt call me your partnerย ,ย ย weโre in a relationship ,ย ย not biology class. โย ย kinds of people.ย ย when heโs in a professional setting ,ย ย like the white house ,ย ย and gets referred to asย ย โmister bradyโย orย ย โsirโย that feels so fucking validating and he will never admit just how much.ย ย he feels so god damn powerful walking away from the podium after every press briefing.
ย ย ๐ข๐ญ'๐ฌ ๐๐ง ๐๐๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐๐ข๐ง ๐๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ฒ ๐๐ฒ ๐ก๐๐ฎ๐ ๐ก'๐ฌ ๐๐๐ซ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ญ ๐๐ข๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐ญ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ง๐๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐๐ฅ ๐จ๐ ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ฌ๐ , ๐ก๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ค๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐๐ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ ๐ซ๐ข๐๐ฏ๐๐ . he grounds himself within the confrontation , examines the way from where chris remains bolstered behind the leather of heughโs armchair sat behind itโs desk . heโs being looked at in that similar little way all eventual opposition does . itโs disappointing .ย ย ย โย ย ย you think iโd let innocent people get hurt by way of reprisal ??ย ย ย โย ย ย disappointing , but not the hallmark of a lost cause .ย ย ย โย ย ย i wouldnโt authorize anything that would put anyone that didnโt need to be in danger . it ainโt like you to doubt that , chris .ย ย ย โย
ย ย ย ย โย ย ๐ข'๐ฆ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ฌ๐๐ฒ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ'๐ฌย ย what you want to happen.ย ย โย ย his eyes ,ย ย dense with a volitional tenderness ,ย ย kept a rein on heughโs with great caution ,ย ย as though he was staring down the black ,ย ย fathomless barrel of a gun.ย ย he took his hand from the envelope ,ย ย his weight upright and onto his heels.ย ย ย โย ย iโm just ...ย ย worried.ย ย about how long youโre willing to go on convincing yourself that you can control the consequences your actions create.ย ย iโmย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย worried about you ,ย ย honey.ย ย ย โ
โ ย ย ๐ง๐จ . but it bothers you , doesnโt it .ย ย ย โย
ย ย ย ย โย ย ๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ญ ๐จ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐จ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ ๐๐ญ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ซ๐ญ ,ย ย ๐ฃ๐๐๐จ๐.ย ย "ย ย he flexed his fingers across the manilla envelope he shouldnโt have been able to get his hands on.ย ย โย ย not just the people youโve decided deserve it.ย ย โ
fuck all the other times i needed help, this sets the bar.
I had a stroke in july that thankfully left me 95 percent undamaged, but the medical cost of trying to figure out what caused it in the first place is killing me, and it couldnt have been more ill timed than now. ive already had to miss three days of work (thats an entire work week for me, i work twelve hours so that has actually taken hundreds of dollars off my check lmao), and half another because i had a scare last week contrived of psychosomatic symptoms brought on by sheer terror. My landlord two months ago decided that he was going to sell the property out from under me and my roommates under the pretense that its too much of a hassle trying to renovate around four people living in the house, so he's forcibly making us vacate. i was under the impression me and two of my roommates were going in on an apartment but their inability to maintain steady communication is proving to be less than beneficial for me, and im trying to find housing on my own, which hasn't been very fruitful due to the stringent requirements set by property management companies and landlords; ie i have bad credit in their eyes. if i dont move into someplace soon here in my city, i will have no choice but to move in again with my strictly (and batshit insane) conservative, anti vaxx abuser who lives inconveniently for someone like me who cannot drive because of a pre existing mental condition, in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, making it very difficult for me to get to work as my commute will devolve into a two to three hour trip, and a lyft ride that will cost me 200 dollars for just a single fucking day, and thats just going in, not including coming back. I just cant do it. It isnt feasible. i might have to quit my job, and im petrified by the notion. I cant live like that again. im not strong enough right now. all of my medical help is here in seattle. its just not something i can maintain.
On top of everything i might have a hypoplastic vertebral artery, which means the main vein to my brain is potentially clotting, which means that if i dont have a stent put in to clear it, the next stroke i have could possibly kill me. i might need brain surgery. so thats cool.
As it stands im frantically trying to find somewhere to move into. I have to be out at the end of september. I have a friend who says theyre willing to lend me their couch but theyre wishy washy as it is, and i dont trust. this stroke is draining me financially, and i just need some help to try and put money together to give as a deposit, and the first and last month of rent for a place. i dont know how im getting through the day with all of this happening at one time. i just have to. i dont know how i can stay positive like i have been but its a miracle that i can even say im happy. you just have to be when it comes at you like this. life is bizarre lmao. im still alive to say so.
anyways, heres my paypal, i appreciate anything and anyone who passes this along. i hope youre doing okay. its gonna work out.
my boss is trying to get me to quit my job by severely cutting my hours to only a day of work per week, and im currently in the ER for a potentially life threatening stroke. my mouth is experiencing facial spasms and my body is numb and unsteady. This happens when something is compressing the nerve in the brain stem. It went away after my first stroke but now has come back aggressively. i am a ticking time bomb.
