[astrodickology]

Women: You always talk over me and-

Man: That literally never happens

[chagrins]

I’ve had enough of this school

[elddansurin]

wealth!!!

[death-420]

REBLOG WEALTH SOAP IN 10 SECONDS AND U WILL GET WEALTH!!!!!

[sarubi]

MY BF FOUND THIS ON /V/ AND EMAILED IT TO ME I HAVE NO IDEA WHO MADE THIS BUT THEY DESERVE ALL THE AWARDS!!!

[essence-of-armbarring]

you ever just like “wow that’s my voice? people listen to this clown on a daily basis?”

[dimedog]

“I wish I had the time to do that.”

- me, a person who definitely has the time to do that but also has terrible time management skills and most likely to just spend 4 hours getting absolutely nothing accomplished instead of the hundred other things I could and should be doing

[mossandrock]

I feel personally attacked by the accuracy of this post.

[kieraplease]

As soon as you think “maybe I can get up early and just finish it tomorrow” you’ve already lost

[radsturbate]

[seashellronan]

honestly life’s too short to not cry about stupid shit like sometimes you just gotta fling yourself onto your bed and burst into tears, cleanse ur little heavy heart

[93-7]

fuck y’all if you laid up with your lil boo rn i hope the ceiling fan fall on y'all

[theblasianbarbie]

im sick of having crushes its time for the tables to turn and ppl to have crushes on me!!!!!

[colt-kun]

Apparently at my niece’s school the girls have started chanting “underwear” during class anytime they see a boy’s boxers from his pants being too low to protest against the teachers dress coding them for bra straps.

I’m laughing too hard to respond to my sister.

[whisqrs]

i had a dream where tornadoes were made illegal or something i just remember like a dozen police cars driving directly toward a tornado with their sirens on and all getting sucked into the tornado

[thechronicleofshe]

why is this so fucking funny

[hi-def-doritos-deactivated20181]

A while back I heard my friend (male) insult another dude by saying, “You look like the kind of guy who wouldn’t go to Wal-Mart to buy his girlfriend a box of tampons” and I still think about that crowning insult sometimes

[manasaysay]

My dad once called another guy “someone who thinks loading the dishwasher once in a while makes him less of a man”

[hi-def-doritos-deactivated20181]

I like your dad already

[charming-tothelast]

one time my dad’s boss was giving him shit for always leaving work early so he could get home and help my mom with me when i was a newborn and his boss said “i’ve never changed a diaper in my life” really proudly and my dad responded “i’d be ashamed to ever admit i was that worthless of a husband”

[yoonswife]

me whenever i look at everyone: why am i the only ugly person

[squareclocks]

I fucking hate it when you’re in such a fantastically giddy mood and then you see one simple little thing that makes you think, “oh” and then you just get this empty feeling in your chest and you get nauseous and the world just crumbles and you want to just lay under a blanket and close your eyes and fall asleep and never wake up. 

[fluorescent]

[xodarkparadise]

I know I'm a handful but thats what you got two hands for