The I Like Art Type Girl

**None of the photographs here belong to me unless otherwise stated.**

[apisapini]

✨

[duchess365]

🍇 🍒 🍓 🍍 🌽 last year i looked at some natural hairstyles and there were many that i thought resembled plants. i want to do a series of paintings of them - hopefully in the style of vintage portraits if i can pull it off. some of the comparisons might be reaching on my part but anything to encourage the young and underrepresented (in the media at least). i believe God created nature and us. and that He loves us all as we are. don’t look to industries to find your worth. we are fearfully and wonderfully made! (psalm 139:14)

[kelsisasser]

High protein foods!

[nicamarieee-blog]

🌻Happy Friday. I was just thinking to myself how much I enjoy my VSG page in comparison to my personal page lol. Anyways, what's up ladies?! I'm over here doing research on things I can do for my skin. I've been having random breakouts since surgery. #vsg #vsgcommunity #wls #wlscommunity #vsgskincare #vsgfamily

[nicamarieee-blog]

I was totally about to buy these but uhhhh I noticed they had 20-25g of net carbs... yeah about that. I sat this right back down and picked up my sour cream and onion protein chips lol. I'll try those when I've earned a treat like that. I've been doing crappy all on my own. #vsg #vsgfood #vsgcommunity #wls #wlscommunity #ketodiet #keto

[throwbackhoops]

[blackfashion]

MiDi Kwakwa

20, Germany 

IG @rastagyalism

https://soundcloud.com/midisoul/maybe

[nicamarieee-blog]

Puedo like... why can't I have this filter in real life???

[fuckyeahanarchistbanners]

R.I.P. Timothy Caughman, who was killed by a white supremacist in NYC.

[doeofdevotion]

my uncle derek went out to a restaurant and discovered that the couch in the lounge is the same print as his shirt

[moontouched-moogle]

Camo Index 90%

[nicamarieee-blog]

Lost in the sauce

[nicamarieee-blog]

212

212

Perfect body... so after losing 60 pounds, I've been thinking about what I think my perfect body looks like. Is it slim and trim? Is it a little fluffy? Does it have abs? Or even the vertical lines on the sides of my belly button? Are my legs free of every dimple or do my thighs touch for about 3 inches? When I was pre-op, my answers were so much clearer than they are now. I remember telling my boyfriend, I wanted to be tiny. I wanted to be the opposite of what I was my whole life. I didn't want my curves to be overbearing and take over the aura when I walked into a room. I didn't want the same attention I always got. I wanted to be able to never worry about a summer body. My goal was to be 130-140 pounds. Currently I'm about 70 pounds away and I'm pretty iffy about those numbers. I'm not sure if I'm doubting that I can get another 60-70 pounds off. I'm not sure if I'm just learning to love my body now. After such a long time of being disgusted with my body, I'm back to feeling pretty good about my body in general. Maybe that's what matters when it comes to your dream body. Maybe we just need to feel comfortable with what we have but how can I feel 100% comfortable with inner thigh irritation because of chaffing? So maybe I need to write down some objective indicators that I've reached my dream body. Okay, so there's no inner thigh chaffing after a day of wearing a dress. Gawd, I can't wait for the day 😍 my knees no longer have an awning of thigh fat. There's nothing that has haunted me more since junior high than that awning of fat. Perhaps my knees will be the indicator that I've reached my goal. But it seems like thigh fat isn't objective enough. A number on the scale, now that's objectivity. There's no gray area, it just is or it isn't. The only down side to that is the uncertainty of what a specific number looks like on me. What if I reach my number but I still have that awning of fat over my knee, then what? Am I supposed to ignore that fact that I feel uncomfortable because well, I reached a number? I didn't think so. So at what point, do I just say I've hit my goal?

****

My friends and coworkers are steady praising my figure and I'm proud of losing the weight. I can't say this the most in love I've been with my body because there was a time where no one could tell me anything negative. Perhaps things are different because I did gain a gang of weight then constantly bashed my body behind closed doors for a few years. It's taking some time to be nicer to myself. Slowly but surely, I'm getting there. Back to the issue at hand, with the struggle of how to feel about my body and my goal. I'm not sure if it's a number, not sure if it's a size. My tummy is smaller than I can ever remember it being but my thighs seem to remind me I have a ways to go. So I guess my mark of success is gonna have to be my thighs. When I feel comfortable going out in shorts. There. But that comes with the realization of my goal body also has to do with my perception of myself. My acceptance of areas I've always felt insecure about. Just as I try to stick to my diet plan, I plan on sticking to my positive body image exercises such as a spending some time in front of a mirror at least once a week appreciating my body. I've come a long way so I can't let the unsatisfied side of this internal battle win.

[nicamarieee-blog]

Quarter Life Crisis

Yeah, you heard me. I know you've heard of the concept of a mid-life crisis; usually they involve 40 year old men buying expensive cars and women sleeping with their poolboys. I We've all seen this on television nd know this really happens in life. Something I've noticed within my own generation is that these crisis' are occuring way earlier than we thought. Just before or sometime during the age of 25, millenials are losing their shit about their lack of accomplishments. Yes, I did just say we're losing our shits because we ARE!

How many of your millenials know a girl who reblogs everything dealing with weddings and acts like if she's not tying the knot within 2 years she's gonna literally combust? How many of you know a guy who keep beating himself up for not having a house or a business to the point he discourages himself from actually starting up his business? Or a recent grad who can't seem to get a job within his/her field so it's back to hardcore partying or throwing themselves a top notch pity party? It's all over us. I had one. My boyfriend had one. A few girlfriends' of mine have opened up about their experience with it.

Personally, my crisis began just before. I graduated with my BS and went straight into a post bacc program at UBuffalo. It was all good until it came time for financial aid to kick in and they notified me, I was tapped out. So back to Brooklyn I came. I've never been super dramatic, as a matter of fact, I usually put on a smile while I go through my emotional rollercoasters. I did just that. I came home and started working. I kept to myself and slowing began spiraling. I gained 20 pounds in 4 months. I just felt like I should've been established by now. I imagined I'd be the same image of a baby boomer at 25 years old. I didn't realize how many variables controlled the image of the average millienial at 25 year old. I felt like it was just me.

As months breezed by, I began noticing 2 things. The first thing I noticed was that it wasn't just me who wasn't this image. As a matter of fact, most of my peers weren't looking like what I imaged. Very few old classmates were working in field and getting paid for it in real money. The second thing I noticed was, I wasn't the only one freaking out. MY timeline was littered with women posting an overwhelming amount of marriage propaganda and men having baby fear, some without even being in a relationship. Are we having our crisis a bit earlier or is this just the set up for the midlife crisis?

Shit I've been thinking about while steaming milk for flat whites lol

-peace out. Nics.

[nicamarieee-blog]

66 Days

“It’s been 66 days since I secretly went to Methodist Hospital in Brooklyn, New York and had surgery. I had the vertical sleeve gastrectomy in order to finally stop being obese. I’ve been overweight since I was 10 and it’s always been a problem for me. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t on a form of diet. It’s always been incorporated into my daily life to the point I was really good at it.

The beginning of my college career, I was going to the gym 2x a day and being selective in my food choices. I was still overweight as hell though. I figured it was just my genetic makeup that prevents me from getting a taste of the thin life and got comfortable being so thick I’m almost too fat. At 22 years old, I lost control of the wheel. I began gaining weight like it was to be rewarded. Was it the depo shots that I was getting that MADE me eat things I knew I had no business having? No. But it made me want to eat them so I did it and blamed that SHOT. Was that okay? I don’t know. I didn’t and still don’t care. I just know I gained like 40 pounds and had a meltdown when I say 261 on the scale that sent me running to the close Weight Watchers.

I devoted myself to Weight Watchers and made sure to never eat anything without things of the points for a year and a half. I lost a whopping 30 pounds. The $40/month for 18 months and that’s all they could give me? A gumbo of emotions washed over me. I was frustrated because I wanted to be a huge success story. I wanted to motivate people to get off their asses but 30 pounds after 18 months of sacrifice, monetary and food, wasn’t enough. I quit their program and tired to diet on my own. I gained 10 pounds and joined again. Apparently Oprah decided to cosign their program and put her spin to it. Her spin sucked and I gained 5 pounds in 1-2 weeks. I quit for good.

A few weeks later, I found myself moving to Buffalo for school. The move proved to be stressful, stressful enough for me to not focus on food. After 3 months, I get kicked out due to funds and pack on pounds. It wasn’t until I was at a doctor’s visit that I mustered up the strength to ask him about his thoughts on bariatric surgery. I always get this anxiety when talking to doctors especially when it comes to weight issues. For years, I had a pediatric doctor break me down about my weight as my mom cosigned her fuckery, learned conditioning has me super on guard with doctors. He ended up referring me to the coolest doctor ever and I had surgery 4 months later.”

A post from my Wordpress in January 17.

[nicamarieee-blog]

I can finally #transform! Left: Graduation in June Right: January while bloated 🌻🌻🌻 #transformationtuesday #transformation #wls#wlsjourney #wlscommunity #wlsstories #vsg #vsgjourney #vsgcommunity #vsgbeforeandafter #vsgsurgery #vsginstacrew #vsginstafamily

[em-muh]

[hohohomo]

How I feel listening to Beyoncé during my daily commute to and from work.

[estie-references]

Christian Siriano SS17

[yemme]

Beautiful.

[nicamarieee-blog]

fuck yeah