me: i am totally rocking this whole coping thing, i don’t even feel like myself! Sometimes i don’t feel anything at all! Isn’t that great??
my therapist: …you’re dissociating….
me:

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@nicegirlgunkill
me: i am totally rocking this whole coping thing, i don’t even feel like myself! Sometimes i don’t feel anything at all! Isn’t that great??
my therapist: …you’re dissociating….
me:
when people ask where you see yourself in 10 years
LADY GAGA FUCKING SNAPPED.
“DONT YOU ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF” Get it Gaga
It just occurred to me this mattered so much to me because Gaga’s transcript was the voice every victim wishes they could say, hear or have with them to LOUDSPEAKER to themselves and others but can’t yet because that’s how trauma works. She captures the absolute point that trauma occurs intentionally without observers but there are objective, observable symptoms in a person’s life that indicate truth. As Jean in the The Keepers says, ‘only once you know that terror do you know it’s true’, (paraphrased). Gaga understands what she witnessed what a specific pattern of a specific experience and it’s enough. LEGALLY. and. SOCIALLY. Telling someone it happened should be enough, but that’s not the world we live in. That’s just me.
by Max Rive
Location: Andes, Peru
FORESTBOUND
Cawdor Castle Gardens by aclotheshorse
Can’t believe Bram Stoker once sent a 2000-word fan letter to Walt Whitman which included his exact height, weight and how much he loved his poems and wanted to be friends with him, and that Whitman wrote back saying he liked his letter and hoped they could meet some day, how cute is that
And then he finally got to meet him and Stoker said “I found him all that I had ever dreamed of, or wished for in him” HOW CUTE IS THAT
bram stroker just mailed walt whitman his grindr profile just like that huh
Ok, I went to look this up, and it is amazing. Bram Stoker actually wrote this long-ass stream of consciousness letter that spanned about 2000 words and which–judging by most sites–had 0 paragraph breaks and just went on and on about his Feelings. He then proceeded to keep that letter in his desk for four years because he was too shy to send it. He finally sent it, along with a slightly less rambly letter, on fuckin Valentine’s day in 1876. In it are such wonders as:
If I were before your face I would like to shake hands with you, for I feel that I would like you. I would like to call you Comrade and to talk to you as men who are not poets do not often talk. I think that at first a man would be ashamed, for a man cannot in a moment break the habit of comparative reticence that has become a second nature to him; but I know I would not long be ashamed to be natural before you. You are a true man, and I would like to be one myself, and so I would be towards you as a brother and as a pupil to his master. In this age no man becomes worthy of the name without an effort. You have shaken off the shackles and your wings are free. I have the shackles on my shoulders still—but I have no wings.
[…]
If you care to know who it is that writes this, my name is Abraham Stoker (Junior). My friends call me Bram. I live at 43 Harcourt St., Dublin. I am a clerk in the service of the Crown on a small salary. I am twenty-four years old. Have been champion at our athletic sports (Trinity College, Dublin) and have won about a dozen cups. I have also been President of the College Philosophical Society and an art and theatrical critic of a daily paper. I am six feet two inches high and twelve stone weight naked and used to be forty-one or forty-two inches round the chest. I am ugly but strong and determined and have a large bump over my eyebrows. I have a heavy jaw and a big mouth and thick lips—sensitive nostrils—a snubnose and straight hair. I am equal in temper and cool in disposition and have a large amount of self control and am naturally secretive to the world. I take a delight in letting people I don’t like—people of mean or cruel or sneaking or cowardly disposition—see the worst side of me. I have a large number of acquaintances and some five or six friends—all of which latter body care much for me.
[…]
It is vain for me to try to quote any instances of what thoughts of yours I like best—for I like them all and you must feel that you are reading the true words of one who feels with you. You see, I have called you by your name. I have been more candid with you—have said more about myself to you than I have ever said to any one before. You will not be angry with me if you have read so far. You will not laugh at me for writing this to you. It was with no small effort that I began to write and I feel reluctant to stop, but I must not tire you any more. If you ever would care to have more you can imagine, for you have a great heart, how much pleasure it would be to me to write more to you. How sweet a thing it is for a strong healthy man with a woman’s eyes and a child’s wishes to feel that he can speak so to a man who can be if he wishes father, and brother and wife to his soul. I don’t think you will laugh, Walt Whitman, nor despise me, but at all events I thank you for all the love and sympathy you have given me in common with my kind.
Three weeks later–which, considering the speed of transatlantic mail at the time, pretty much means immediately–Walt Whitman wrote back. He had, at the time, been recovering from a paralytic stroke three years earlier that had left him, in his own words, “entirely shattered—doubtless permanently, from paralysis and other ailments,” but he still found the time to respond with a much briefer but still very affectionate letter, the opening paragraph of which read as follows:
My dear young man, Your letters have been most welcome to me—welcome to me as Person and as Author—I don’t know which most—You did well to write me so unconventionally, so fresh, so manly, and so affectionately, too. I too hope (though it is not probable) that we shall one day meet each other. Meantime I send you my friendship and thanks.
[letter source]
Despite Whitman’s parenthetical remark about the improbability of meeting, Stoker did eventually manage to call on Whitman a couple of times some years later, and expressed that
I found him all that I had ever dreamed of, or wished for in him: large-minded, broad-viewed, tolerant to the last degree; incarnate sympathy; understanding with an insight that seemed more than human.
Whitman, meanwhile, found Stoker “an adroit lad,” and “like a breath of good, healthy, breezy sea air.” Adorable.
#did walt whitman fuck BOTH bram stoker and oscar wilde?????#i’m so enchanted by this (via wildehacked)
Yes.
“Some days are for falling in love with people, some days are for cities, and some for solitude.”
— (via purplebuddhaquotes)
And some days are for ocd rituals
by Mr. Lovenstein
“Me too! I like everything so much!”
The Guggenheim has been digitizing their vast collection of art books for many years and they have just posted over 200 of them for free. The collection includes books by legendary artists like Wassily Kandinsky, analyses of artistic movements like Futurism and German Expressionism, and monographs on everyone from Jenny Holzer to Picasso.
Here’s the link.
“The problem was she wanted to be loved so badly she couldn’t tell it wasn’t love.”
— Leo Christopher
Not anymore!!! I love myself a lot more and WANT and NEED a whole lot less
““You have to act as if it were possible to radically transform the world. And you have to do it all the time.””
—
Angela Davis - from a lecture delivered at Southern Illinois University, Carbondale. February 13th, 2014.
Angela Davis will be speaking at Portland State on January 21st as part of MLK week. Find out more here: http://bit.ly/2015PSUMLK
(via ninjaruski)
(via thepeoplesrecord)
Now you can drink espresso properly in space.
Portland State University researchers designed this funny-looking cup to let astronauts drink espresso in space, sipping the foamy crema and enjoying the aroma. Mostly astronauts otherwise drink liquids from bags.
“The corner essentially acts like a wick, using surface tension to guide liquid toward your mouth. As soon as an astronaut touches her mouth to the lip of the cup, a capillary connection is formed and the liquid travels up the vessel and forms sippable balls of coffee.”
When the design is done, astronauts will print up the cup using the International Space Station’s 3-D printer at $500 a pop.
In other news: The ISS has an espresso machine. Or it will.
P.S. “Sippable Balls of Coffee” would be a good name for a blog.
When you’re in the park blocks and a car drives by