My senior in faith (Aunty M) told me "I watch u grow up from a child to a bride, I want u to have a happy marriage". I was touched to tears that I cried non-stop even though I was in a public place.
I admit I had a very unhappy marriage because of Mily. Mily is staying with me in my matrimonial home and it's a struggle living with her.
I had to endure mental and physical torture from profanity , destroying of my stuffs and even assualt. Sound dramatic right , but it's true. I wasn't able to retaliate as she's an 'elder' hence I normally don't answer her back and choose to ignore her nonsense.
Whenever hubby talked about her,I'll get very worked up as I really hated her to the core. Whenever people asked me how's my marriage life, I'll be so negative, thinking how my 'happily ever after' dream turned out.
I had been living with stress and the stress at work doesn't help at all.I decided I'm not going to lead this kind of life anymore. I'm going to challenge it squarely and build a harmonious family so that I can focus on my hubby, career, study and spriritual growth.
Aunty M advise me to spend at least 15 minute solely to pray for her happiness and a harmonious family. Of course, I have to pray for my courage and compassion to pray for the person I HATE.
Since Aunty M is my beloved senior, I decided to follow her advise.In the beginning it's very painful that I was contemplating leaving my hubby as I thought this predicarment is uncalled for.Hubby have been very encouraging and cheered me on.
One day, I felt I was ready to talk to her.
In the morning, we found a broken bamboo pole outside our door. Hubby asked Mily why was there a pole and she confessed it's her. I realised I was not angry at her but just genuinely felt she must be very strong to broke the bamboo stick.
I commented she's 'power' when hubby was not very happy and told me how she may react.
To compensate for it, I decided to do something to end this vacumm. She cooked some porridge for breakfast, so we ate it and I invited her to join us but she doesn't want. I asked her how she managed to cook the porridge with my Toshiba rice cooker.
I told hubby that our washing detergent is running out and suggested to buy . We seeked her opinion on what brand of detergent she would recommend and she mentioned X brand. I heard X brand is not doing well, so I suggested Y brand. Hubby mentioned, why not we buy Y brand first then buy X brand. I'm ok.
In the end we went to buy X brand as it's relatively cheaper.
Mily looks happy when we buy X brand and mentioned her sister also recommended her to buy.
Next we went down to the supermarket to do some marketing for dinner. Hubby went to cut his hair while I went to take my Telur Bawang. After that hubby brought pig kidney and some other dishes.
I freaked out thinking how would the pig kidney soup turn out to be if hubby were to cook it. I know awfully well it will not turn out well as it's difficult to cook.
Hubby went back first while I went to get some fruits for offering and some yakult.
When I'm back, I went to the kitchen and saw her working on the dish. I told her I'm glad she took over the cooking as I have no confident hubby would make a good dish from pig kidney.
I went to take a shower and washed the toilet. After my shower, hubby grumbled at me to do housework. I told him I'm not free and did my morning prayer.
Hubby went on to sweep and mop the master bedroom, and even change the bedsheet.
I wanted to wash all the floor mats and she mentioned she'll do it later for me as she need to hang her laundry. She asked me to helped her with the fishball by soaking it while she go to hang her laundry.
After that I went to clean the window.
After cleaning, I was wondering if I should clean the kitchen toilet used by Mily and hubby, since I'm using only the Master Bedroom toilet. Ugh... u know,it's a struggle to clean the toilet that I never used and yet it's used by someone I don't like.. I decided to clean it anyway. I asked Mily to clear her clothes from the toilet and she moved all her stuffs out of the toilet.
I clean the toilet without any complaint - afterall, it's my house.
I'm amazed to see the toilet so dirty and they can use it without cleaning...
After that, I'm relieved she took over the cooking as I noticed she boiled the pig kidney and cooked the soup separately. End up we at at 6pm. The soup is quite ok, except she added ginger in a pork soup which taste a bit wierd.
Anyway I started to do small talk with her, by asking how she know how to cook and told her the ginger taste special.. and she kinda open up and talk.
After the dinner, I cleaned up the dishes and she's quite happy. She went out to take a walk and she's so happy to see the neighbour and talked to them happily.
I felt happy as well. The air is clearer.
I just greeted her and she mentioned she bought kueh for us..
let's hope we can sustained this ...although it's platonic but it's better than being hostile to each other.
I dare say I had started to do my human revolution to improve my family situation :)
NICE the outcome, and DICE the past!