Too Much Nick

Personal site of Nick Douglas, TV character Twitterer, co-creator of Jaywalk Cop, and 1/3 of the podcast Let's Get Into It.

[nickdouglas]

Had to kill a darling from my Matrix parody story

[dingdongyouarewrong]

i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

[averagejoey2000]

[dingdongyouarewrong]

well damn . egg on my face

[dingdongyouarewrong]

THE PLOT THICKENS @averagejoey2000 explain yourself

[averagejoey2000]

I can't believe this is how I'm finding out that I got a scam forklift cert.

I took the cargo ops class at school but my teacher explained that it doesn't give a certification and I'd only be okay for ship's crane and the school forklifts. she said I could take an online exam and get my cert. I paid 60 bucks.

I'm googling and I'm seeing a lot of resources saying that the online programs cover the classroom part of the exam but not the in person practical aspect.

29 CFR 1910.178 (l)(2)(ii)

but I did the in person practical shit at school.

[averagejoey2000]

the back of the card even had fancy numbers on it. I couldn't have known that this isn't the one. this website sounded more official than certifyme.net, and there wasn't one with a .gov address.

[averagejoey2000]

so, I emailed OSHA, and they said that so long as I live and work in California, there's no such thing as forklift certification. I have to be told how to do it every time I get the job.

[averagejoey2000]

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

[nickdouglas]

This fucking site

[adultlikers]

[porksweats]

e me a mail

[fortooate]

make the attachment a pic of a snail

[jumpingjacktrash]

give me two gifs

of critters in clover

[nuclearcarrots]

then photoshop them on the CLIIIIIIIFFS OF DOVER

[laurasinele]

I still reference this post today. And yes, when I say I reference it I mean I sing it.

[theblogginggoth]

By Czech writer Karel Čapek, inventor of the term ‘robot’ as well!

[cuteness--overload]

[nickdouglas]

Holy fuck, how have I never heard of this, I'm gonna bring this up CONSTANTLY

British Post Office scandal - Wikipedia

British Post Office scandal - Wikipedia

[vulpes-aestatis]

Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell

[thecactifindahome]

[despin-convert-deactivated20250]

it's too late. i've already depicted you as the buffoonish juror 3 and myself as the unbothered and collected juror 12. it's over.

[life-is-molasses]

[doubleca5t]

Hollywood truly does always take the wrong lesson from its success stories

[doubleca5t]

Movie premises you can expect to see within the next 10 years:

Guy breaks both his arms and gets jacked off by his mom

Guy who thinks he has a mysterious stalker leaving postit notes around his house but he actually had a carbon monoxide leak and was leaving them himself

One man's quest to remove a small cylinder from a Mini M&Ms tube full of butter and mashed banana (the cylinder must remain unharmed)

The Gaycation (TM)

[campsis]

Eden Kalif, Good Cats

[shinraalpha]

titanic Wreckage perfec t size for put trillionaire in to n\ap! inside very Cool and Meme trillionaire look so sick put trillionaore in Titanic Wreckage. Put Trillionaore In Titanic Wreckage. no problems ever in titanicc wreckage because good Shape and Support for trillionaire ti visit in little snubmarine. Thetitanic Wreckage yes a place for a trillionaire put trillionaire in titanic wreckage can trust Mad Catz xbox controller for giveing good submarine control to trillionaire. friend titanic wreckage

[nickdouglas]

Bastian Balthazar Bux's passion was books.

— Michael Ende, The Neverending Story (translation by Ralph Manheim)

Say it out loud.

[bnq]

perfect boy .

[skweebs]

[ganondorf]

i think this captures the defining pathology of the collective social media psyche right now. we are in the thrall of people who are wantonly cruel but who also demand to be coddled at all times in every way

[noosferik]

guy who enjoys german class a little too much: ancient slavs had words of power they used to shout mountains apart

girl who collects crystals: that's actually true as fuck

70 year old professor who sometimes calls students "comrade": faggotry is actually good, I don't have a problem with faggotry, Aristotle was a faggot, Caesar was a faggot...

guy behind me: YOOOOO check it out (pulls up beheading video on a chechen telegram previously unknown to mankind)

Professor: ...Galileo was a faggot, I think Napoleon was a faggot, Comrade Tito probably wasn't a faggot but...

[hoodiedeer]

Reminder, if you ever pay someone for a commission on Paypal (NSFW OR NOT) you SHUT THE FUCK UP in any text box it gives you.

(No this does not mean try to be a snarky comedian and say it was "bomb materials" or "fuck u" or whatever. Don't play with people's livelihoods, just shut the fuck up and don't type anything at all, it's not that hard.)

[nickdouglas]

Conversely, when you pay back your friend for pizza, write "big bags of heroin"