I just want to say, please believe these ladies, because they are telling the truth. I have had near identical experiences with Kale as Sylb has described. With Kale and I both being very active RPers since the beginning 2.0 and both running events and FC’s, I’ve bumped into him a lot, worked with him on an event, and known him for a very long time. While we’ve never been particularly close, when we got to talking, it was immediately a discomfort to me.
He would ask about my thoughts on ERP and my approach to it–seemingly fishing for me to tell him I wanted to ERP with him. He was always dissatisfied with my answers and pressed for more details and more explanations. He also began to randomly ask me really specific questions regarding how I would feel on certain situations with my expertise “as a woman.” It always seemed like he was trying to get me to agree to a certain viewpoint to help him justify something. And rarely would I express to him the opinion he wanted to hear.
As Sylb says, he’d seem a little disgruntled and abruptly change the subject. It always felt like he was poking at my boundaries, but I didn’t budge on them, and even got a bit snippy at times when I was frustrated with his questions that always felt like they had some ulterior motives. This pattern continued for months. I don’t know if this turned him off or if it was just coincidence, but he began speaking to me less and less, and I was A-okay with that. Meanwhile, I heard of how he treated a couple other women in the community, and I heard him vaguely mention his bad reputation once or twice (a reputation I figured he’d probably earned) in the context of him claiming to have improved.
I see that improvement obviously didn’t happen. I’m disappointed to hear there were even more women he’s creeped on, disappointed to find out this behavior has gone on since back in WoW, but most of all disappointed to find out trusted and respected people in the community enabled this. I have done events with Gold and Glory (as recently as last week) and know a lot of great people there. I had no idea this was happening and it’s really disheartening
Ultimately, I never cut ties with Kale (though maybe I should have to spare @its-the-val-pal all my bitching whenever Kale pressed his luck with me lol), because I’m very fortunate it didn’t escalate quite to the levels of these other stories. To me, he was just a creep barking up the wrong tree; something I’ve sadly dealt with enough times before and was confident I could handle. The more I brushed him off, the less he messaged me, so I didn’t see the need for further action.
But I fully understand and support anyone else who suffered his behavior to do more than that, to block him, to avoid him, to report him to whoever can hold him accountable. To me, the most unsettling part of this story is how someone who was understandably trying to do just that was treated because of it, especially by people who acted to her face as if there were no concerns on their end.
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