When my aunt was in her late 20s people used to rudely ask her âWhy arenât you married yet?â and sheâd reply âJust lucky, I guessâ which I think is one of the best things I have ever heard

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When my aunt was in her late 20s people used to rudely ask her âWhy arenât you married yet?â and sheâd reply âJust lucky, I guessâ which I think is one of the best things I have ever heard
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Therapists arenât people who you âpay to pretend to care about youâ, therapists are people you pay to teach you how to care for yourself
Me: I am violently depressed.
Therapist: Oh! Sounds like you need to do YOGA! That will help!
Me: *signs up for yoga*
Me: *is violently depressed in Downward Dog*
Me: I hate myself and only see my flaws
Therapist: ok lets refocus on things you like about yourself. This week i want you to try and journal about good things youâve for yourself and others.
Me: *does the homework* yeah but i still hate myself but feel bad cause i shouldnât
Therapist: feeling like you shouldnât hate yourself is a step in the right direction. Mental health is complex and isnât something that will ~magically~ improve. We have a lot of hard work head of us but Iâll be here to help you.
TL;DR stop perpetuating the idea that therapy is unhelpful because the results are not instantaneous.
FUCKING THIS.
As a psychologist the amount of bullshit on this site, the amount of fucking dangerous bullshit on this site about how therapy is neurotypical bullshit and isnât worth it and how exercise is pointless and good diet is pointless and that therapy homework is pointless DRIVES ME UP THE FUCKING WALL
Exercise is fucking important. good diet is fucking important therapy is fucking important. WHY???
because pills alone donât help. they improve the hormonal imbalance (as does exercise and good diet which ALSO are a form of very real self care as your physical being is sorta connected to your mental one but go fucking figure right?), but guess what? the suicidal thoughts, the thoughts of harm, the thoughts of hating yourself, theyâre still there. suicides actually increase when medicated. why? because suddenly you have the energy to fulfill thoughts of harming yourself. which is why you NEED therapy alongside pills.
it has taken you years, or decades to create your maladaptive thought processes and behaviours. that shit doesnât disappear overnight. core beliefs donât change overnight. these are the very fucking core of your personhood, your being and personality. THAT TAKES TIME TO CHANGE
STOP ACTING LIKE THERAPY IS SHIT IF IT DOESNT WORK IN TWO SESSIONS
^This!!!!!
The stigma that therapy isnât worth it if you donât feel better after the first couple sessions is such bullshit. It took me 8 months to tell my therapist anything personal but I kept going because I wanted to get better. I thought it was bs too when she kept telling me to think about other things and to distract myself when I have intrusive thoughts (not exact words whatsoever). Now itâs 2 and a half years later and I can successfully switch from thinking about all the ways I could kill myself to the song Slippery by Migos and immediately start laughing. You need to let it help you.
These people arenât kidding. I know a lot of the anti-therapist culture going on here is from like 3 top factors.Â
1.) Having the wrong therapist. There are a lot of therapists out there, and theyâre not all the same, no matter how much it may seem like it. I went through so many I canât even remember them all, because most of them didnât mesh. I started seeing them at 13, and now at 25 I FINALLY found one who not only understands me but helps me get better in ways I am capable of achieving.Â
2.) Fear/Reluctance to change. YES, she advises me to exercise, but weâre not talking 30 minutes a day 4 days a week instantly. She knows that a suggestion such as âexercise moreâ is going to result in an immediate negative reaction cuz my brain jumps to things I canât physically do. So instead she suggested this; start very small. Stretches when I get out of bed, to start. Gradually add in small amounts of activity that arenât daunting. Donât look at change or responsibilities as a huge pile of things. I have to break EVERYTHING down into smaller pieces just to get through the day. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and spend a whole day doing nothing, but there are more days now where I actually get things done. Nobody wants to STAY sick. Most of us are just terrified of how much effort it takes to get better and how different our lives and expectations of us will be once we are. But trust me, as you get better, those expectations arenât nearly as scary.
3.) Expecting to get better too soon. The people above arenât kidding. Recovery takes time. Iâve been going to therapy for about a year. I still hate getting up and dragging myself there. But Having someone to talk to who genuinely understands my problems and how to help me deal with them has been an enormous help. The stability of going somewhere once a week (I have group therapy once weekly, and see my therapist every 2-3 weeks) has helped me form a basis for routine. I have made maybe an inch of progress with several miles to go, but there HAS been improvement. Iâve gotten advice Iâm capable of working with, even with all the problems I have going on. The longer you try to help yourself, the faster your recovery will go. It will take years. Decades, depending on how bad it is. But you need to stick with it. You arenât going to magically become neurotypical, but you will find more and better ways of coping and functioning, which isnât what you might want, but is a lot better than what youâre doing now.
Please, if you have the ABILITY to get help, take advantage of it. Donât shit on the idea just because youâre scared and âcomfortableâ with your mental illnesses.
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